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Chapter NineteenWITH YOU I CAN WIN ANY WAR “So, Tegan. Annabel hasn’t taken the time to tell us how the two of you met? ” I tense at Mom’s statement. That’s such a lie. I told her about the gym and him being my trainer. It’s just her way to make it seem like I’m keeping stuff about him from her. And the way she says his name? It’s worse than how she says Em’s. Tegan’s sitting beside me. Close to me—having moved the chair over. He finishes chewing, sets his fork down and replies. “I started out as her trainer at the gym. We kind of hit it off from the beginning. ” I can’t help it, I chuckle. What world is he living in? “Okay, well maybe that’s a stretch. The first day, I’m pretty sure she wanted me to die a fiery death. ” I love that he’s being himself. He’s polite and respectful to them, but he’s also not tempering down his sense of humor…or his ego. It’s that take it or leave it attitude I wonder if I’ll ever have. “I didn’t want you to die…” “I’m pretty sure you wanted me to die, Annabel Lee. I felt the daggers every time you looked at me. ” “Hey! That’s not fair. I wasn’t that bad. I just didn’t—” “Like me? ” Giving him a smile, I tease, “Shut up. ” When Mom clears her throat, I realize we kind of forgot they were here. Tegan looks back and forth between my parents. “So yeah, we started working out together and things just took off from there. She and my mom got close. I’m pretty sure my brother likes her more than he does me, but that’s because she’s great with him. Treats him like he’s a real person, ya know? ” “Actually, I don’t. Annabel, you didn’t tell me you’ve met his family. ” Dad cuts in before I can reply. “Do you mind if I ask about your brother, Tegan? Annabel didn’t mention anything so I didn’t realize…” “No problem. He’s paralyzed, ” is all he says about Tim. Then he looks at Mom again. “She’s doing awesome, you know. Not that I care or anything. I don’t mean it like that, but she’s amazing. Working real hard. ” It’s one of the first times I’ve seen him stumble over his words and it sort of makes me love him even more. “That’s very nice of you to say, Tegan. ” Dad gives me a wink. “And you live where? Close by here? How old are you? I wasn’t aware teens could be trainers. ” Mom’s interrogation continues, sneakily trying to figure out if he passes the Hillcrest elite test. “I live down in the older part of town. Mom, my brother and I share an apartment over there. She’s a waitress a few miles from our place. I graduated this past June and I’m eighteen. Turn nineteen a few days after Annabel’s birthday. ” In a few weeks. We’ve already planned to celebrate our birthdays together. “Well, that’s a pretty ambitious job for someone your age. Most kids are working at the mall. ” What she’s saying sounds all nice and dandy, but I know what she’s doing. She’s looking for information. Whatever she can find to build a case. “Mom…” “It’s cool, ” Tegan tells me. “I’ve always liked being physical. I’m considering a career that has to do with the human body so I figured it would be a great place for me to start. It only took a few classes. Plus, I’m saving for school too. ” No shame. No fear. No bringing up doing it for Tim, which I know he does because he doesn’t want the pity. Just honesty. Dad jumps in. “That’s very respectable. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, son. I’m not sure if Annabel told you, but I’m an orthopedic doctor. If you ever want to talk bones or the body, I’m always up for it. ” Dad’s voice sounds way too excited. It’s endearing, but I’m also not sure I want my boyfriend hanging out with my dad. “Annabel wants to go into medicine too. ” He adds with pride. “She told me. I bet you love that she’s following in your footsteps. ” “I do. That’s my pumpkin—” “Daniel, ” Mom warns him. Then all her attention is on Tegan again. “I have to say, we were pretty surprised to hear about you. And then the…unconventional way you met. Annabel’s always had such a good head on her shoulders. ” My whole body freezes. I open my mouth to speak, but Tegan cuts me off. “With all due respect, I’m not sure how her dating me means she doesn’t have a good head on her shoulders. ” Mom waves him off. “That’s not what I meant. The lying. The sneaking around, like she has something to hide. She didn’t even tell us she finally decided to try and lose weight. I have to wonder where it’s all coming from. ” Ready. Aim. Fire. I knew this would come. Knew she couldn’t stand to see me happy. What I don’t understand is why. “Mom—” “Well, like you said, Annabel’s a smart girl. She knows what she’s doing so if she decided to keep things from you, I can only assume she had a good reason to. And just so you know, she’s not trying to lose weight, she has. She is. That’s if you care enough to wonder. ” Tegan shrugs. Mom’s eyes turn to ice. “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me in my own home. About my own daughter. Of course I care about her. What I have to wonder is…do you? You’ve already admitted to needing money. Is that why you latched onto her? Because you knew she had money and knew she would fall for it? ” “Paulette! ” I don’t let Dad finish. “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to my boyfriend! It’s obvious you think I’m too weak-minded to realize if someone is using me or not, and I’ve always known you don’t think I’m good enough for someone to actually like me the way I am—” I’m so mad, I don’t have it in me to cry right now. I feel like I could explode. “That’s not what I meant, Annabel. I’m trying to—” “No, it is what you meant and I’m used to it. I don’t care, but it’s not fair to him! He’s done nothing but care about me. No matter what he’s there for me and for you to accuse him of using me for money? I knew you hated me, but. ” Now the tears are coming. I hate them, want to fight them so I don’t give her the pleasure. “Annabel that’s not... ” Only she can’t finish. She’s looking at me, her eyes pleading me for something, but I can’t give her anything. Not right now. “I love Tegan and I can never forgive you for even thinking that about him. I’m done. We’re out of here. ” Tegan stands too. “Annabel Lee, maybe you should—” “No. I’m not staying. I’m not talking. ” I look at Dad and he gives me a small nod. Without another word, Tegan takes my hand and we walk out. A couple minutes later we’re in his car, driving away. Neither of us talk. I don’t trust my voice. If it’s even half as broken as my heart, I know nothing that comes out will make any sense. I relive her words over and over and hear what she’s really saying. That I’m not good enough. Why would any good looking boy like me? Tegan’s driving fast. It only takes us about fifteen minutes to get to his house. I shake my head. “I can’t be around anyone else right now. ” “I know. They’re gone for the night. Timmy had an out of town appointment with a specialist. They’re staying at a hotel. ” As if there aren’t enough emotions swirling inside me, I’m suddenly hit with more. “I am so sorry! You should have told me. We could have done this another night. I mean, not that it went well, but you shouldn’t have missed Tim’s appointment to have dinner with my family. I know you like to go. ” He reaches out and cups my cheek. “Hey, don’t do that. Not right now. I told you, I wanted to have dinner with your parents. I go to most of Timmy’s appointments. It’s not going to hurt me to miss one. ” Words escape me. I’m not as good at them as he is. It’s always so much harder for me to find the right thing to say. Because this… this is big. He did this for me. Buying time, I look around us. We’re in his garage. How did I not realize we were already parked in his garage? “Thank you. For everything, I mean. ” “You don’t have to thank me for anything. You’re…being with you is the first thing I’ve done for me in a long time. We’re a team. When are you going to realize that? ” His words are the air I breathe. The fluid that hydrates me. The food that nourishes me. They’re everything, giving me everything I need. He takes a few breaths. “Your mom? That sucks. I do think she was trying to protect you, in her own screwed up way. ” I shake my head and look at my lap. “I wish. I’ve never been what she wants, but…I don’t want to talk about her right now. I just want to forget that dinner ever happened. ” Tegan’s finger slides beneath my chin and he turns my head so it’s facing him. “I’m not sure I can forget it, Annabel Lee. I learned something pretty damn crucial tonight. ” In my mind, I try and replay our evening. Try and figure out what he possibly could have learned that’s so important. He takes a deep breath. “I can see the wheels working. Should I put you out of your misery and tell you what it is? Or…I can always hold the information as ransom. You know, to get what I want out of you. ” “If you don’t tell me, I might have to introduce you to my hook again. ” Tegan leans forward. “No, I don’t want my ass kicked again, so I’ll tell you. ” Closer still, he’s leaning across the seat. “I found out you feel the same way as I do. ” “Huh? ” “You love me…” My eyes widen as I look at him. How could I have forgotten? I’d told my parents I love Tegan and he’d been sitting right there. I admitted it to him and now here he is saying… “I love you too, Annabel Lee. ” Tingling excitement builds in my belly, exploding in every direction like the final fireworks display on Fourth of July. It reaches every piece of me from the tip of my head to my toes. There has to be a cheesy smile on my face that probably touches each of my ears, but I don’t care because this is Tegan and I can be cheesy and dorky around him and he’ll still…love me. “I take it this is good news? ” With his thumb, he traces my lips. I giggle. Yes, giggle. I don’t care either. “That’s part of it right there. I love your laugh. Love how you make me feel good. You make me want to find the good in everything. Make me realize there are good people out there. People who will always stick by your side. ” Swoon! “I love you. ” It feels good to say it. Right to say it. “I love you too. ” His fingers slide from my face and into my hair. “How about we go inside? We can eat since dinner got screwed up. Watch a movie or something. Just hang out. Forget about everything else. ” Tegan leans forward. Now it’s his mouth instead of his fingers tracing my lips. “Make out. ” I force myself to pull away. “What are we waiting for? ”
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