Chapter Fifteen

Jackson was troubled. She and Erin had spent fourteen wonderful days at the Northwoods, exploring their renewed love, and now the time had come for Erin to return to Chicago. A full state away. Jackson didn’t know how she could stand to be separated, nor had she been able to come up with a workable resolution.

Could I live anywhere else to be with her? Jackson looked around. This is my home. Do I have a right to ask her to leave her whole life to be with me? Would she want to? I just don’t know what to expect. I only know for sure that I can’t lose her again. I can’t. The uncertainty gnawed at Jackson as she escorted Erin to her car.

The short walk was a very quiet one. Erin sensed the tension in Jackson and knew it was probably due to all of things that were worrying her, as well. What did their futures hold? Erin had been direct with Jackson for most of her life, when she wasn’t running away, but she was not running away now. There were too many questions that they hadn’t addressed. And she was going to get to the bottom of them before she drove four hundred miles away.

Turning to Jackson, Erin said, “I can see the cogs spinning in that head of yours. Tell me what’s going on up there and please don’t leave anything out, regardless of how you think I might react. ”

Jackson smiled at the straightforwardness. She was still feeling raw and vulnerable, but didn’t want to sound needy. “I…um…really don’t want you to leave. I just got you back, Hawk. I don’t want to lose you again. ”

Jackson looked like she might cry and Erin didn’t want that. Enough tears had been shed. “Oh, honey, you will never lose me again. I promise you. You’re it for me, Jack. I was going to wait for you to do this in your own time, but I think I’m just gonna have to insist that you ask me to move here. ”

Jackson’s eyes lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning opening the most wonderful gift ever. “You mean it? You’d move up here to be with me? ”

Erin was saddened by Jackson’s lack of belief in the strength of their connection, but considering their history, she could hardly blame her. “Yes! There is no place in the world that I’d rather be. You are my heart, my soul and my reason to wake up every morning. If you want me here as much as I want to be here, I’ll start making arrangements immediately. ”

Jackson picked Erin up and spun her around, as happy as she had rarely been. “You have made me the happiest woman on the planet, Hawk! I love you so much I can’t even breathe. ”

Erin eyed her pointedly. “Jack, you still haven’t asked. ”

Blushing, Jackson took Erin’s hands and kissed them gently. I better make this good. “Erin, Hawk, the light of my life, the fire in my loins, will you come to The Northwoods and live with me happily ever after until we breathe our last breaths together? Pretty please? ”

Erin smiled and shook her head at Jackson’s description. “I’m all that, huh? ”

“All that and a treble clef. ”

“How can I turn down such a scrumptious offer? ” Erin asked playfully.

Jackson smirked. “I don’t think you could. ”

“No, I don’t think I could either. ” Erin wrapped her arms around Jackson and squeezed.

“I guess it’s settled then, ” she breathed into Erin’s hair.

“Yes, it is. ” Erin gave her a light kiss as they pulled apart. “I need a little time to get my affairs in order and put my house on the market. After I’m officially divorced, mind you, I still don’t want Jeremy to have it. ”

Jackson looked at her seriously. “What about your work, Hawk? Your work is there. ”

“Jack, look around us. ” Jackson eyes shifted around to take in the panorama. “Where do you think I get my inspiration to paint what I do? This is my source. My work will probably get even better with my muse back in my life. ”

“Your muse? ”

“Yes, silly. You. You’ve always been my biggest fan, since I was nine years old. Having you around me again is going to be magical, ” Erin explained with a warm smile. “I can’t wait, ” she whispered, adding a saucy wink.

Jackson was ecstatic. “Do you need any help? ” A sudden thought blew into her mind. “What about your mother? She is going to blow a gasket. ”

Erin laughed. “Let her blow, then. I will not let her take away the greatest joy in my life. She did it once and I thought it would kill me. Never again, Jack. I will be back, I promise. ”

Jackson looked a little nervous, the pain of the rejected twenty-one year old showing plainly on her face. Erin took Jackson’s face in her hands. “I promise you. ”

Seeing the uncertainty replaced by a smile, Erin kissed her again. “You could come with me, you know. You said Daniel would help you for a couple more weeks. That would give us time to get some stuff together. Actually, I can wait to sell my house until your house is ready. That way I wouldn’t have to put so much stuff in storage. ” Erin saw the excitement in Jackson’s eyes and knew she’d been right to ask her. “Whaddya say? Come back with me this time. ”

“I’ll have a bag ready in ten minutes! ” Jackson sped off to the house, leaving Erin laughing beside her car.

Jackson threw her bag into the open trunk and quickly settled into the passenger seat, to Erin’s amusement. Their trip to Chicago was managed without any setbacks. Roughly six hours later, after a few stops to grab drinks and to find a rest area, the duo arrived at Erin’s home.

Jackson stopped under the stone archway over the path to Erin’s front door. “Hawk, this is just beautiful, ” she commented.

“Thanks. It is a pretty great place. It should show well. ” She jiggled her key and with a twist of her wrist, opened the door. Inside, Erin closed the doors and rubbed her chilled arms. “It’s a little cold in here. Let me check the thermostat real quick. ”

Erin led them into her living room where she reset the thermostat to bring the house back up to seventy degrees. “That’s better. I’ll be glad when summer arrives for good. These warm then cold days really suck. ”

Jackson laughed. “Yes, they do. That’s the beauty of the Midwest, though. If you watch carefully, you can see all four seasons in a day. ”

“No kidding. ” Erin gestured around her. “Want me to show you around? ”

“Sure. Lead on. ”

Erin gave her the five-cent tour, which was very impressive. It was obvious that Erin was doing very well for herself. When they crossed the threshold into Erin’s studio, Jackson’s sharp intake of breath made Erin smile. On every wall was a representation of The Northwoods. A few easels held canvases and a large drawing table was positioned under the one large window facing the backyard.

“Hawk, this place is amazing. ” She moved up close to a particular picture and pointed to it with a huge smile. “I remember when you drew this one! God, I think it was right after you told your mom that Jackie was not a viper trying to charm you, or something like that. ”

Erin laughed at the fractured recollection. “You’re right. I went right up to the roof and drew all afternoon. You were concerned because I was so angry with her. God, that woman has a mouth on her. ”

“Don’t look at me for an argument on that. ”

“Don’t worry, you’re the last person I’d seek out if I needed someone to defend my mother. Well, last except for me. I’d never defend her. As far as I’m concerned, she gets what she gets. ”

“Right on. ”

Erin’s cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out to see her mother’s phone number. “God, that woman has a sixth sense. ”

“Uh-oh, I smell trouble, ” Jackson joked. Erin waggled a finger at her.

“I’m gonna take this really fast to get rid of her. Two seconds. ” She hit the Talk button. “Hello, Mother. ”

“Erin, dear, it’s good to see your car in your driveway. May I come in? ” Erin paled and Jackson raised an eyebrow in question.

“You’re out front? ”

Both women’s eyes went round then Jackson smirked and nodded her head, encouraging the visit from Katie. “Sure, Mother, I’ll be right down. ”

Katie uttered a quick, “Thank you” and hung up the phone.

Erin turned to Jackson. “Are you feeling like causing trouble or something? Why would you want her to come in? ”

“Aw, come on, I haven’t seen Katie in a long time. I’m sure she’d like to give me a big ol’ hug. ”

“I’m sure she’d like to give you something all right, but a hug isn’t what comes to mind. ”

The doorbell chimed and they descended the stairs to greet Katie together. Erin grabbed the knob and looked to Jackson. “Here goes…”

Erin opened the door and her mother walked in. “Mother. How nice of you to stop by. ”

Katie pulled her purse strap over her shoulder. “I’m glad you’re home, ” she started, not seeing Jackson behind the door. “I think two weeks was more than enough time for you to give to that girl. Frankly, I think you spent way too much time up there. ”

Katie kept talking and Erin just let her continue to hang herself in front of Jackson, whose arms were now crossed over her chest. “I’m sure she has a… I don’t even know what to call one of those people… to take care of her needs. ”

“A girlfriend? A lover? A lezzzbian? ” Jackson’s low voice made Katie spin around, her face blazing red.

“J… Jackson! ”

“Hello, Katie. So nice to hear you again. ”

Katie turned to her daughter, her eyes shooting daggers. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming back with you? ”

Erin put her hands on her hips. “Frankly, because it’s none of your business. ”

“Erin! Do not speak to me like that! ”

“I’m sorry, Mother; you’re right, I should show you the same amount of respect you’ve always shown me. ” She stalked into the living room, her mother and Jackson following in her wake. Jackson wiggled her eyebrows as Katie passed, causing the flustered woman to pick up her pace.

Erin pulled out her phonebook from an end table, sat on the couch and grabbed a sheet of paper. Might as well get this out of the way now. “Mother, what’s the name of that moving company you used to ship your furniture to St. Gregory’s bazaar? ”

“It was Wilkens’, but why do you need a moving company? ” she asked, a sinking feeling washing through her.

“Because I’m going to need to move some things into storage while our house is being renovated, ” she explained cryptically, enjoying the play of emotions on her mother’s features.

“Oh, lovely, Erin. What are you and Jeremy doing to your house? ”

“Not Jeremy, Mother. And this is certainly not his house anymore. ”

Our house. “Who’s the other half of the ‘our’? ”

“Jack, of course. Mother, I’m moving up to The Northwoods. ” Even though her heart was pounding in her chest, Erin continued to nonchalantly look in her book.

“You’re what! ” Katie cried. “Why on earth would you do something so ridiculous? ”

Erin turned to face her. “It’s quite simple, Mother. Because I love her. ”

Katie could hardly form her next words she was so flabbergasted. “Wh… what do you mean by that? ”

“I. Love. Her. Does that honestly surprise you? Did you think I could ever forget about her, even after all this time? ” When Katie just sat and stared at her, she continued. “I know you did your damnedest to keep us apart, Mother, but I’m not a child anymore and I’m finally going to live my life the way I choose. I choose to be with Jack. ”

Katie’s eyes went wide. “You can’t possibly be telling me you’re going to live with her as a… a lesbian? ”

“No, you’re right, Mother, I’m not a lesbian. ” She looked to Jackson. “I’m a Jacksian. ” Jackson couldn’t contain her burst of laughter. She quickly covered her mouth when Katie shot her a dirty look. “Mother, I may not consider myself a lesbian, but I am in love with Jack. I’ve always been in love with her. So all of your tirades were correct, after all—I did fall into her trap, just like you said. If I wasn’t so angry with you for making my adolescence a living hell, I’d probably thank you for making me so aware of my feelings for her. ”

“Don’t you dare blame me for this! All I ever did was try to protect you. ”

“From what, Mother? From love? Love is not wrong! It’s a gift you should be thankful for if you are lucky enough to receive it. You tried to make me someone I wasn’t and in the process made me resent you for many years, but you know what, Mother? I’m done feeling badly about you. You’ve chosen to live your life this way and that life is all yours. I want no part of it if you can’t accept me for the person I am and always have been. ”

Jackson wanted to take her in her arms and kiss her, but stayed put.

“Jack and Dad were the loves in my life and my biggest supporters. I lost Dad to cancer, and I almost lost Jack because of you. I’d die before going through that again. ”

“You ungrateful girl! ” her mother said. “I gave you everything a little girl could want and this is the appreciation I get? ”

“You’re right, Mother. Some little girl may have wanted all that you offered, but I didn’t and you knew I didn’t. Yet, you kept at it as if you could make me give in or change my mind. I might not have been strong enough before, Mother, but I’m not giving in this time. ” Erin looked directly into Jackson’s eyes. “Jack is my heart and soul, and I’m going to live out the rest of my days with her. ” She turned back to her mother. “With or without you in my life. ”

Katie pulled her car keys out of her purse. “I fear for your soul, Erin. You’ll be lucky if you see your father in the Afterlife. ” She stomped toward the front door, turned in front of Jackson then looked at Erin. “You make it so hard for me to love you. ”

Erin smiled at her mother. “You know, Katie, I was thinking the exact same thing. ”

Her mother shot her a final glare then left the house, slamming the door behind her.

Jackson looked at Erin with boundless love pouring from her eyes. “I cannot believe you just did that! ”

“Yeah, well, she’s had it coming for years. I figured now was just about as good a time as any to give her my new address. ” Erin went to Jackson and put her arms around her. “Thank you for being here. Just your presence gave me that little extra that I needed. ”

“I’ll always be here for you. Always. ”

Several months later…

Erin hauled the last of her boxes into the spacious studio and sighed as the last of them was placed on the floor. She had spent the last few months at the Northwoods marveling at the change from spring to summer. Autumn would soon prove to be more beautiful than even her imagination could conjure. With more seasons added to her colorful Island City repertoire, she could barely wait to get the new pieces to Kim. Her studio would provide the perfect workspace for her creations. The newly renovated house was beginning to feel like home, though this would be their first official night spent inside.

Grace was creeping around investigating every part of her new home. The orange tabby was happy to be reunited with her owner after spending two weeks with Kim while they moved. Jackson and Grace were still battling to see who wrapped around Erin’s body when it came time for bed. Unfortunately for Grace, Jackson consistently won that battle and wouldn’t be giving up her title anytime soon.

Jackson walked into the studio and smiled at the look on Erin’s face. She could tell she was enormously pleased. “They did well, right? ”

“Jack, this is absolutely perfect! My view is unbelievable. God, I never thought I’d be able to just look out and see the beauty of this place whenever I wanted. I’m so grateful that you’re sharing that part of yourself with me. ”

“I’m not sharing, this place has always been a part of you, too. I knew that from the very first day we met. I could tell it was more to you than just a vacation spot and you’ve proven that with every picture you’ve painted or drawn. ”

Erin pulled one of her cherished drawings out of a box on the floor. “Yes, it was much more to me than a vacation spot. I found my heart here. ” She turned to hand Jackson the picture from her Serenity Collection. Jackson’s eyes went wide.

“Oh, Hawk. This is…wow…” She was always amazed at how Erin had seen her. “No one else seems to think I’m this flawless goddess you keep making me out to be. ”

Erin smiled warmly. “They just don’t know you the way I do. ” She leaned up and shared a kiss with Jackson. “You’ve always been my inspiration. I’ve kept these in boxes for so long; now that you’re back in my life, I can’t wait to put them up. ”

Jackson took in the number of large boxes and her eyes widened in surprise. “These all contain pictures of…me? ”

Erin nodded, blushing. “Yeah. I’m going to put up the ones that mean the most to me, but I think I’m ready to sell the others. Don’t worry, I won’t sell any that identify you. There are some with just a profile and unless someone knows you, they won’t put it together. If…if that’s okay with you. ”

“Absolutely. They are yours to sell, Hawk. I’m honored to have been a subject you drew so often. ”

“I was gonna hang all of them then have you look at the walls, but I figured that might be a little too much. I think it will be a little less intimidating now that I’ve given you fair warning. ”

Jackson smiled sheepishly. “I think if I had walked in and seen my face everywhere, it would’ve been a little weird. ”

“But it’s such a pretty face, ” she complimented, taking Jackson’s hands.

Blushing, Jackson squeezed Erin’s hands and said almost inaudibly, “Thanks. ” She looked around. “Want me to help hang? ”

Erin’s face lit up. “That would be great. Let me get them all arranged and we can do it together. ”

After a couple of hours, the Serenity Collection had been sorted through and some were placed on the walls while others were crated for shipping to the gallery. They walked around the room together, looking at the paintings and drawings of Jackson surrounded by the Northwoods.

“This is why I called it the Serenity Collection. Just look at your face, in every picture. ”

Jackson did as she was instructed, amazed at what she saw. “Yeah, I guess this place does have that effect on me. ” She turned to face Erin. “But I think it was mostly you who made me feel that way. ”

“Smooth talker, ” Erin said with a sparkle in her eye.

Jackson pulled her close and looked into her eyes for a long while. “It was you. ” She lowered her head and they shared a tender kiss. Erin sighed and rested her head against Jackson’s strong shoulder.

As the sun was beginning to set on the first night in their newly minted home, Jackson and Erin walked hand in hand toward the pier, reflecting on the perfection surrounding them. Erin gently squeezed Jackson’s hand as they spotted a hawk soaring free in the colorful sky. The reds and oranges were breathtaking. Erin was already beginning the painting in her mind.

Sitting on the chairs facing Lake Tomahawk, they realized that in many ways it was more than simply a body of water. It held more memories than any photo or scrapbook. It was the birthplace of their friendship and a nurturing environment in which their talents had grown. It was a resting place for Jackson’s mothers, but most of all, it was a symbol etched into their hearts to remind them to overcome any obstacle that kept them from the love and the life they deserved.

Epilogue

A few years later…

Erin pulled her car into the parking lot of the Island City resort and turned off her engine. She grabbed her backpack and the grocery bags from the front seat of her car, bumped the door closed with her hip and walked toward the house. Inside, she placed the bags on the counter and began to sort and put away her foodstuffs.

“Jack? You here? ” she called out. She walked around their home in the Northwoods searching for her partner, only to find she was alone. She must be doing something down by the water. She always is. Erin smiled to herself and strolled down to the main office.

As she entered the building she found Daniel, their trusted friend and caretaker of the resort, sitting behind the front desk. She greeted him with a large, toothy grin.

“Hey, big guy! ”

Daniel’s face lit up. “Hey! Welcome home! ” He hurried around the desk and gave Erin a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Erin mussed Daniel’s hair affectionately. “Thanks. It’s good to be home. It was only a few days, but sometimes these shows can be too much. I must be getting old. ”

“Hardly. ” He smiled. “Did you have a successful one at least? ”

Erin nodded. “Kim was pleased at the turnout and we did sell most of the pieces. The ones that didn’t she’s going to keep at the gallery and they’ll go when they’re meant to sell. ”

“That’s great! Congratulations. ”

Erin smiled. “Thanks. ” She looked around. “So where is my taller half? Is she trying to entertain our guests with her newfound gift of storytelling? ” Daniel laughed. “She really needs to stop telling people how we got together. Not everyone is going to be thrilled with the tale. ”

“It’s a sweet story, Erin, no doubt about it. Jack is ridiculously happy and is simply sharing that with the world. I’m not sure there is anyone who could stop her. ”

Erin chuckled. “That’s very true. She does get a little focused. ”

“The last I saw her she was giving a ‘family history lesson’ down by the water. ”

Erin closed her eyes and shook her head. “That poor girl. Jack is going to give her nightmares. ”

“Nah. I think she likes them. ”

“We’ll see. Perhaps we can look for a cheap therapist, just in case. Grab the Yellow Pages, would ya? ” They both laughed. “I’m gonna go down and see what kind of damage control I can do. ” She turned to leave, but stopped at the hand on her arm.

“Erin…”

She looked up at warm green eyes staring down at her.

“What’s up? ”

“I just wanted to say thank you, again, for everything. It’s been really special for me. ”

“Danny, we can’t thank you enough. Can we talk about special? I thought for sure you’d be sick of us saying thank you by now. Not many men would do what you’ve done for us and then stick around to watch it unfold. ”

“Well, like I’ve said a million times, I’m not like most men. I love it here and I love you guys so much. The day may come when I want to leave and find someone for myself, but I’m just not there yet. I’m really happy about every aspect of my life and am glad I could help. ”

Tears in her eyes, Erin hugged Daniel again. “You’ve done so much more than help us, Danny. Jack and I will always be in your debt. We couldn’t possibly know how to pay you back. Just know, if there is ever anything you want or need, all you have to do is ask, and it’s yours. ”

“I know. ” Daniel smiled.

“Good. ” Erin sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I’m gonna go before I get carried away. ”

“Have fun! ”

Walking down toward the water, Erin saw Jack on the pier with a small child in her arms. Her heart melted. As she got closer she could hear Jackson telling the little girl about her grandmothers. Jackson tickled the little girl into fits of giggles.

“Hey, what’s a girl gotta do to get a welcome home hug? ” Erin called out.

Twin sets of mismatched eyes turned to look at Erin. “Momma! ” the little girl cried, pulling out of Jackson’s embrace to run down the pier. Erin met her halfway and scooped the little girl into her arms.

“Hi, baby. Momma missed you. ” Erin kissed her cheek and ran a hand through the soft, fine blond hair.

“I missed Momma, too, ” Jackson said playfully, kissing Erin’s offered lips. “We were just having a little story time. ”

Erin scowled. “Can you just try not to give Emma nightmares? She doesn’t need to imagine that her grandmothers actually will come out of the water one day and scare the bejeezus out of her. She’s not even two years old! ”

Jackson tried to look innocent. “What? She knows her grandmothers live in Lake Tomahawk. They’re mermaids! ” Jackson said, grabbing Emma from Erin’s arms and swirling around. Emma squealed at Jackson’s antics. “Right, baby? Can you say mermaid? ”

“Moomay! ”

Erin couldn’t help laughing. “What am I gonna do with you? ”

Jackson wiggled her eyebrows. “Well, you were gone an awful long time. You could take me home and…”

Erin plunked her hand over Jackson’s mouth. “Jackson! Don’t you even go there while holding our daughter. ”

Jackson laughed around Erin’s fingers. She put Emma on her hip and pulled Erin to her with her other arm. “I love you. ”

“I love you, too. ” The women kissed again and Emma blew a raspberry kiss on Jackson’s cheek making them giggle. “So, what are your plans for the day? ”

“Well, Emma and I were gonna have our first real lesson. I think it’s time we see if she wants to play the recorder. ” She put Emma down and took her hand as they walked down the pier toward the water.

“Oh, you do, do you? Don’t you think she’s a little young? ”

“Not at all! There are a lot of kids who start playing music at her age. If she doesn’t seem interested, I certainly won’t push her. I just want to see if she has my genes. ”

“Well, she is your daughter, of course she has your genes. ”

“Correction, she’s our daughter. I was just technically the one who gave birth to her. Anyway, Jackie started teaching me when I was about four, so we’ll see what happens. If she throws the instrument into the water, I’ll know it’s either too early or it’s just not her thing. ” Jackson sat down on the edge of the pier with Emma between her legs.

Erin sat down next to them and breathed deeply of the warm summer air. She closed her eyes and let the serenity of Lake Tomahawk soothe her psyche. Even being gone just a few days had her missing the peace and tranquility she always felt here. Jackson played a few bars of ‘Hawks in Flight’ and Erin smiled. She kept her eyes closed as she let the sweet melody wash over her.

“Mommy, me! Me! ” Emma cried, reaching to grab the recorder from Jackson’s hands.

“Gently, baby. Here, let me help. ” Erin watched as Jackson tried to teach her how to use the instrument.

Jackson had Emma blow into her face a few times, then Jackson blew into the baby’s and then into the recorder. Emma slowly figured out that she could blow into the instrument to make noise come out. The sounds were loud and hair-raising, but nothing matched the sweet sounds of laughter that followed as Emma realized she’d done it right. She’d blow into the recorder, make a few sounds and then laugh.

Jackson was encouraged by Emma’s enthusiasm, but knew it would be a while before she could tell if it was just a new toy to her daughter. She put her fingers over a few holes as Emma blew so she could change the sound. Together, they played a very rough version of ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ and laughed when it was over.

After the three had dinner, Jackson and Erin took Emma to her room to get her ready for bed. The room was decorated with images from Dr. Seuss’ Oh, the Places You’ll Go. Jackson wanted Emma to always know she could move mountains if she really wanted to.

Emma was positioned between her two moms in her big girl bed. Jackson sang a lullaby while holding the tiny girl in her arms. Once she got her song, Emma would be treated to a story read by Erin. Her choice for a bedtime story was always The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Erin was always willing to read it. After the furry insect ate its way through the week, Emma snored softly next to an enamored Erin. She gently stroked the sleeping child’s cheek with the backs of her fingers.

“God, she’s beautiful, Jack. We are so lucky to have her. ” Not hearing a reply, Erin looked to the other side of their child, and wasn’t surprised to find Jackson was asleep. She smiled and shook her head. “I should know by now that you fall asleep when being read to. I should just tuck you both into the same bed. ”

Erin got up and walked around to pull the blanket up over Jackson’s shoulders. Jackson stirred slightly and snuggled into Emma, who had fully situated herself against her mother’s chest. Erin smiled down at her two girls, her heart swelling at the sight. She slowly lay with her front to Jackson’s back and reached her arm around both mother and child, feeling a completeness she had never known would be possible. Each day their love grew stronger and their future grew brighter, and each night brought with it a new tomorrow. Erin tightened her hold and sighed with incredible hopefulness that there would be many more tomorrows to come.

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