Chapter Eleven

2002 – The Northwoods Island City

Erin stood on the dock in the morning sun, rubbing the tattoo she’d created years ago. Thinking back to that day was bittersweet. Her mother stating it was a desecration of her body had countered all the love and symbolism that had gone into the tattoo. Erin wished she could take back that summer and do things over again. This time, she’d have the strength to stand up to her mother and her bigotry.

Feeling Jackson approach before she saw her, Erin turned to greet her. “Good morning. It’s so beautiful here, Jack. God, I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this. ”

Jackson was very pleased that Erin’s love of the place hadn’t changed. “Morning. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this view, either. It’s so much a part of me, I can’t imagine living without it. ” She looked right at Erin and the two didn’t miss the double entendre she’d snuck in there.

“That would be like a fish out of water, Jack. If that happened, you’d be miserable, and I’d be miserable for you. ” The metaphor game was one Erin didn’t want to play, but they weren’t ready to talk yet. “So, how’s Jackie this morning? ”

Jackson’s face fell. “She’s not doing too well, Hawk. Her doctor is in with her now. She isn’t at all optimistic. ” Jackson’s eyes began to well with tears and Erin instantly put her arms around her.

“I’m so sorry, Jack. ” Erin could feel the tremors in Jackson’s body.

The tears were falling freely down Jackson’s face. She finally had someone to lean on that she trusted. Even after all this time, Erin would be the one to get her through this terrible time.

“Shh, you just let it out, honey. I’m right here. ” Finally.

Jackson cried for a while, unwilling before now to completely unleash her sadness. She sat heavily on the metal chair and stared out over the water.

Erin wanted to do something to make her friend feel better, but wasn’t sure what she could do. She knew times like these made your body want to shut down, and the only thing you had energy for was to make more tears. Sometimes there was no consolation. But I can try. An idea came into her head and she went with it.

“Are the keys to the boat still in the boathouse? ” she asked, trying to mask her excitement.

“Yeah, why? ”

“I’ll be right back. ”

“Wait, grab the keys off the far right hook. You can take the Formula. ”

“You mean we. ” Erin smiled secretively. “I’ll be right back. ”

Erin ran to the boathouse, but once inside, her mind reminded her what had happened when she was there last. Shaking away the memories, she went to the key rack and grabbed the last set of keys. Returning quickly to Jackson, she dangled them in front of her. “ Wanna go for a ride, little girl? ” she asked playfully.

Jackson gave her a tiny grin. “Sure. You gonna tell me where we’re going? ”

“Nope, but I’m sure you will guess once we get there. ”

“Ha, ha. You’re no fun. ”

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong. ” When the boat was untied, Erin started the engine and slowly pulled away from the dock. “Hang on! ” She pushed up the lever on the side of the wheel and the boat picked up speed in very little time. “Whoa! ” Erin cried, not expecting such power.

Jackson was holding on to the side of the boat. “Have you ever driven one of these before? ” Her voice betrayed a little panic.

“No. But how hard can it be? ”

Jackson acknowledged that she was right and sat back to enjoy the ride. The boat ran effortlessly through the water of Lake Tomahawk. As they got closer to Erin’s destination, Jackson’s face lit up like a child in a toy store. “You’re taking me to get potato salad! ”

Erin’s smile was electric. “Yes, ma’am! ” She watched as Jackson’s energy level soared. They pulled up to the docks and Jackson waved to an old friend who’d worked that dock since she’d been a child.

“Hey, Roy! How’s it going today? ”

“Well, if it isn’t young Jackson Thomas. Where have you been, girlie girl? ” He smiled brightly at her.

“I haven’t been around much, sorry for that. ” They tied the boat up so they could go into the convenience store that sold Jackson’s ambrosia. Roy gave them a hand up and both women stood on the docks. “My aunt Jackie has cancer, Roy, so I’ve been taking care of her. ”

His face fell at the news. Having known all of the Thomases for quite some time, Roy felt a wave of sadness. “I am so sorry. She’s a wonderful lady. Please give her my best, won’t you, Jack? ”

She lightly touched his arm. “I will. It was nice to see you. We’ll just be a few minutes. I don’t know if you remember my friend Erin? ” She drew Erin to her side.

“Of course. My, you sure grew up from that tiny towhead I used to know. It’s nice to see you again, Erin. ”

Erin smiled at the sweet man. “Nice to see you, too. I took this one out to get some of her favorite—”

“Don’t tell me. That darn potato salad? ” he guessed, making the girls laugh.

“You guessed it. I figured it could do her some good since she loves that stuff almost more than air. ”

Jackson listened to the conversation floating between Erin and Roy and jumped in. “Hey! Hello, I’m standing right here. ” I have really missed her.

Erin smiled and looked her up and down. “Why, yes, you are. ” Jackson rolled her eyes.

“Okay, you girls. I’ll keep watch on your vessel in the meanwhile. Enjoy your time shopping. ”

The girls waved. “Thanks! ” they said in unison.

Jackson picked out a two-pound container and had the deli woman fill it with her favorite side dish. When it was handed to her, Jackson asked for a plastic fork. She immediately opened the container and put a huge forkful of the salad in her mouth. Eyes closing in absolute pleasure, she moaned loudly.

Erin paid the patient woman behind the counter and apologized. “Sorry, can’t take her anywhere. ”

“Thank you, ” Jackson mumbled through her full mouth, and waved her fork at the amused woman as they exited.

They thanked Roy for watching the boat and he helped launch them on their way.

“I actually thought you’d wait to eat that with lunch. Silly me, ” Erin joked, putting the key into the ignition.

Jackson swallowed. “This is the breakfast of champions, Hawk! It has been so long since I came over here. I didn’t realize until I saw Roy that it’s been at least a year since I’ve had this stuff. ” She smiled happily into her plastic container.

Erin drove the boat much slower on the return trip, just enjoying the feeling of being on the water again. “You’ve been a little busy. ”

Jackson’s head bobbed. “Yeah, I guess I have. ” She looked at Erin with gratitude. “Thank you for being here, Hawk. Not just for the potato salad, but coming to see Jackie. I know it means so much to her. ”

“No thanks necessary, Jack. I wanted to come. I’ll do everything I can to help you through this. Whatever you need, it’s yours. You know that, right? ” Erin looked over at Jackson, who was staring out into the water. Her hair was blowing wildly in the wind kicked up by the boat, and Erin thought she’d never seen anything more beautiful.

Jackson turned her head and their eyes met. Even now, the love they felt for each other was evident. “I do. ” She reached over and touched Erin’s shoulder. “I really appreciate it. ”

The rest of the trip was spent in silence as the two let their thoughts carry them most of the way home.

After the boat was moored safely back in its slip, Jackson carried her booty into the house with Erin right by her side. The nurse rose and extended her hand to Erin. “Hi, I’m Janet, Jackie’s day nurse. I don’t think we’ve met. ”

Erin smiled at the plump, black-haired woman. “I’m Erin, nice to meet you. Jack speaks the world of Jackie’s team. ”

“Well, that goes both ways. We love these ladies. ” She smiled warmly at Jackson. “We’d just wished we’d met them in different circumstances. ”

Jackson was touched by her words. “Thank you, Janet. I couldn’t imagine better people taking care of Jackie. ”

“She’s awake right now. Her doctor just left, but I suspect you know the substance of her findings. ”

Jackson nodded solemnly. “I do. I just want to make sure she’s not in any pain for her last days. ”

Janet put a reassuring hand on Jackson’s forearm. “Don’t worry, she will go peacefully, I promise. ”

Jackson looked at Erin. “ Wanna go say good morning? ”

“Sure. ”

Jackson gently touched the small of Erin’s back, leading them into Jackie’s room.

A light beeping noise came from a new heart monitor that had been brought in by the doctor. Jackie’s pallor had worsened since Erin had seen her the night before. She knew from the looks of her, it wouldn’t be long before Jackie took her leave from this world.

“Hello, sunshine, ” Jackson greeted cheerfully, bringing a small twinkle to Jackie’s eyes. “How are you feeling today? ”

Jackie shrugged, not able to bring words forth just yet.

“Jackie, look what Hawk got me! ” She showed her the plastic container she hadn’t put down since its purchase. This brought a slight sound from Jackie and a small smile. “Ah ha! I knew that’d getcha. ” Jack looked around and, not seeing Janet, pulled the mask off of Jackie to put a small liquid smear of the salad into her aunt’s mouth then quickly put the mask back on.

A light smacking of Jackie’s lips and a low hum of approval made Jackson laugh. Her aunt was as much of a sucker for this stuff as she was.

Erin watched as Jackson proved once again the amazing compassion she had in her heart. She knew Jackson thought of Jackie as her mother and knew all too well how awful it was to lose a parent you loved. The tenderness Jackson showed Jackie was almost painful to watch. The memories of her father’s last days were tangible as she watched the two interact.

“I’m hogging all of your stage time and poor Hawk traveled so far to see you. Let me go fill up your water jug and I’ll be right back. ”

Erin took the spot Jackson had vacated and lightly grasped one of Jackie’s hands. “Hey, lady. ” Jackie gripped her hand a little. She saw a book on her nightstand and asked, “Do you want me to read to you a little? ” Jackie blinked slowly and lightly squeezed Erin’s hand. Erin picked up the book and smiled at the title. Moby Dick. “Jack always did want to catch the big one, didn’t she? ” Jackie’s eyes sparkled and Erin turned to the first page. “Call me Ishmael…”

Erin began to read the classic. When Jackson reentered with the full water jug, she quietly put it down and sat in a corner chair to listen, potato salad safely stored in the refrigerator for later. She closed her eyes and let the sound of Erin’s voice soothe her wounded soul. The more she listened, the more she heard Erin’s voice from the past letting her go, and she realized that she needed to know the whole story. She’d thought that she wanted to wait, but she wanted all of her pain at once rather than getting through one loss only to have it followed by another. I just want this hurt to go away.

After an hour of reading, Erin quietly rose and put the book down. Jackie had fallen asleep. When she turned to talk to Jackson, she, too, had nodded off. She silently walked over to Jackson, grabbed a light blanket draped over the armrest and covered her. She stirred a little, but easily went back to her dreams.

When Erin entered the living room, Janet looked up from her needlepoint and asked, “How’s our girl doing? ”

“Well, both of our girls are sleeping right now. I started reading to Jackie and they both went out, ” she snapped her fingers, “just like that. ”

“That does it every time. Maybe Jack was read to as a child, but I know whenever I read to Jackie while she’s in there, she goes out faster than Jackie. ”

“You know, I’ll have to ask Jack that when she wakes up to see if there is some Pavlovian effect going on there. ” Janet smiled warmly at the woman. “It’s a beautiful Saturday out there, so I think I’m gonna take my sketchbook and head on out to the pier. ”

“That sounds like a fantastic idea. I’ll let them know where you’ve gotten to. ”

“I appreciate it. It was nice to meet you, Janet. Hopefully Jackie’s pain will be over soon. ”

“I feel the same way. ”

Erin sat on the pier happily drawing another landscape. Her fingers were chalky from the pastels she was using. An older man was fishing on the pier with his grandson and she’d asked if they would mind being her subjects for a while.

“We’d be happy to, young lady. After all, unless we get a fish on the hook, we’d just be sitting here waiting anyway. ”

Chuckling at his answer, Erin completely lost herself in her work. When she was adding the final touches to her picture, a shadow fell over her paper. Jackson sat down next to her on the wood of the pier and remained quiet. Occasionally, she’d look at Erin and when she was caught, she’d look away. This happened several times before Erin finally stopped and said, “Is there something on your mind? You’re like a little kid waiting for me to ask you to speak. ”

“I just don’t know if I want the answer. ”

“What’s the question? ” she asked quietly.

“Will you tell me what happened? ” She didn’t have to expand. They both knew exactly what she meant.

Erin stared at her for a few moments. “Are you sure you want to do this now? I thought you wanted—”

“I know what I thought, but having you here and not knowing is about to drive me crazy. ”

Erin thought for a moment. “Can you wait until tonight? I need to make a call to my event host, Kim. I just want to make sure she doesn’t have any questions about the pieces for the show and whatnot. ”

Jackson agreed. “Sure. I’ll meet you after dinner. Can we talk on the roof? That’s always been a good place for us to communicate. ”

Erin swallowed nervously then answered, “Of course we can meet there. I haven’t been up there since I got here, so I hope I can still get up the ladder. ” She laughed, trying to diffuse the intensity from Jackson.

“Oh, please, if I can still get up there, I know you can. ”

“All right, then. I’ll meet you later. ”

Jackson got up and walked away. Erin was so full of emotion she wasn’t sure what to do with it all. The question had come as a surprise to her. She thought she’d have a few more days to plan what she wanted to say. If Jackson wanted to know, then she was going to get an earful.

Finished with her drawing, she signed the bottom and pulled it out of her book. She collected her things and walked to the other side of the pier where her subjects were still waiting for a bite.

The older man looked up at the friendly woman. When she gave him the drawing, his eyes became wide. “This is just beautiful! May I have it for my grandson? ” he asked, excitement clearly in his voice.

“Yes, please. Enjoy it. ” With a wave, she left the man on the dock unaware of the price that an original Erin Hawkins picture would draw if sold in any gallery.

She went into her cottage and sat on the couch, pondering the evening ahead. “Oh, boy, here we go, ” she whispered, closing her eyes, not looking forward to reliving that time.

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