Chapter Nine

2002 – Chicago

Erin was bustling around, gathering her artwork for the show in the gallery the following week. Kim was meticulous about setting up for Erin’s artwork. Erin knew that hers was the most successful work in the gallery and Kim would spare no expense to make opening night sparkle. Several canvases were taken from her studio and down to the main level of her house. Erin lined them up in her study to make her final decision.

Hearing the phone ring, she put the last of the pictures down and answered it. It’s probably Kim freaking out again.

“Hello? ” she answered.

“Hello, dear, ” Katie greeted in a sweet tone, much to Erin’s disgust.

“Hello, Mother. What can I do for you? ”

“Is that any way to treat your mother? My gosh, I’m the only parent you have. ”

Erin’s anger flared. “Yes, I know. I was there when Daddy died, remember? ” She breathed deeply to try and calm herself. “I have an event at the gallery. I have a lot to do before then. ”

“You didn’t mention it to me. ” Katie pretended to sound hurt.

There is a reason for that. “No, I didn’t, Mother, because you rarely want to go to these things. Except, of course, when the mayor is expected. Then you’re there with bells on. ”

“Oh, honey, it’s not like that and you know it. ” Whatever. “So how’s Jeremy? When am I going to hear some good news? ”

“Mother, you know damn well Jeremy and I are getting divorced. The only good news that will come from this will be for me, after the judge pronounces me a single woman. ”

Katie’s voice became condescending. “You know that goes against the teachings of the Church, Erin. I can’t believe you aren’t fighting for your marriage. ”

“Fight for a marriage with a man who has fathered a baby with another woman? Gee, Mother, you’re right. I should stand and fight with both fists. I should go the full ten rounds! ” Erin paced, rubbing her forehead to ward off the inevitable migraine that came with talking to her mother.

“Don’t you talk to me like that, young lady. ”

Katie’s haughty voice was making Erin nauseous and she knew she needed to get off the phone. “Was there a real reason you called, or did you just want to push some of my buttons? I really have a lot to do, Mother, so if you don’t mind, I need to go. ”

“I wish you’d reconsider about Jeremy. All’s not lost. I’m sure he still loves you. I’m sure if you—”

“Mother, I don’t love him, don’t you get that? Never mind. This is like talking to a damn brick wall. ” She exhaled sharply. “I’m getting off the phone now. Goodbye, Mother. ” Erin hung up the phone without waiting for her mother’s goodbye.

“God! What is wrong with me? Why don’t I move to Guam? She’d never call me there. ”

She began to arrange her work and once again the phone rang and broke her concentration. Angrily, Erin picked up the phone. “Mother, you need to stop calling me, I’m really busy right now. ”

“Well, it’s good to see that some things never change. Your mom still giving you a hard time, Hawk? ”

Hearing Jack’s voice melted Erin’s soul. Flopping down onto her couch, Erin sighed. “Jack? Is… is that really you? ”

Tears formed in both women’s eyes. “Yeah, it’s me. How…um…God, I don’t even know what to say. ”

They shared a nervous laugh. “I know. I’m…I’m just stunned to hear your voice. How did you get my number? ” Erin gripped the phone tightly.

“Dearest Katie gave it to me. ”

A light bulb went off in Erin’s head. No wonder she was pushing the Jeremy envelope so hard tonight. God, she’s something else. “I’m just gonna apologize now for anything she might have said to you. Nothing’s changed with her. She’s always gotta say something negative about someone, sorry to say, ” Erin said with a sad smile. She wiped her eyes.

“How’ve you been, Hawk? Your mom told me about your dad. God, I’m so sorry. I know how much he meant to you. I really wish I could’ve been there for you. ”

So do I, Jack. You have no idea. “Thanks, Jack. That means so much. It was a really horrible time for all of us. He got sick and went so fast. Less than eighteen months and he was gone. ”

Tears rolled down Jack’s cheeks. She knew all too well how that felt. She cleared her throat. “Well, I’m really sorry. He was a wonderful man. I feel very privileged to have known him. ”

“He loved you like crazy, Jack. You made him laugh all the time with your fishing quote unquote tips. ” They shared more laughter. “Even he noticed a difference in the resort when you were in Michigan at camp. ”

“Yeah, it was hard knowing you all were there and I wasn’t. ”

“I’m sure. ” Erin stopped the conversation before it went in a direction she wasn’t ready to go. “So how are things with you? Are you happy and healthy? Did you get your teaching certificate? ”

Jackson smiled, knowing Erin’s thoughts always went from her well-being to her music. “I’m doing pretty well. Yes, I’m a music teacher for the gifted kids in the area. It’s a really great program and I’m truly loving what I’m doing. ” She smiled. “Not many people can say that about their jobs. ”

“You’re right about that. I think we both got lucky in that respect. ”

“Oh, Hawk, I haven’t even asked you about your work. How is life as a well-known painter treating you? I’ve seen your work in some shops up here. I… um…” She blushed into the phone. “I even bought one. ”

“Shut up! You did not! ” They laughed.

“Yes, I’m afraid I did. It was a sunset that I know was taken off of Lake Tomahawk. Made me think it came from a memory of yours from on top of the boathouse roof. ”

“It probably did. Thank you for supporting my work, Jack. You’ve always been…”

“Your biggest fan/my biggest fan, ” they said together and laughed again.

“God knows Jackie was tired of coming to get us off that damn roof when it was too dark to see anything. ”

“Yeah, she did. ” Jackson swallowed back the tide of emotion that was creeping up her throat.

“How is Jackie? Is she doing well? ”

Silence came through the line. “Um…that’s why I’m calling, Hawk. Jackie’s sick. Really sick, actually, ” she amended.

“Oh, no! ” Erin’s voice dripped with sadness. “What’s wrong? ”

“Cancer, believe it or not. What are the odds, huh? ”

Erin shook her head as more tears came. “I’m so sorry, honey. ” The endearment slipped out so naturally. “Is there anything I can do? ”

A sad smile came to Jack’s face. Aw, Hawk, you’ve always had such a big heart. “Actually, yes. Tonight Jackie asked me to find you because she’d really like to see you…um…before…” The final words weren’t necessary. Both women knew the awful result of this illness.

“When should I come? I’ll come tomorrow if I have to. I have a show coming up, but I don’t need to be there. ” She immediately started making plans in her head. “Hell, I’ll come tonight! ”

“Whoa, whoa, Hawk, slow down. Tonight isn’t necessary. I’m sure you have to do some things before you can leave town. The sooner the better, obviously, with this type of thing. ”

Erin’s heart dropped. “How long does she have? ”

“According to her team, she has about two weeks. Maybe. ” Voicing Jackie’s prognosis aloud made her stomach clench.

Erin’s head fell back on the couch cushion and she closed her eyes. “God, this is awful. Just awful…”

“I know. ”

“Okay, I think I can wrap things up here by tomorrow afternoon, so I could be there by late evening. Would that be okay? I’m sure I can find a hotel or something. ”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you can stay here. ” Silence was Erin’s response, so Jackson elaborated. “It’s still off-season. We have some open cabins. You have a place to stay. We actually have a new condo we can set you up in, if you’d like to try it. ”

Erin’s heart was racing. She couldn’t imagine staying under the same roof with Jackson after everything that had happened between them and how much time had passed. She was relieved when Jackson clarified what she’d meant. “A cabin would be great. I’ll bring my sketchpads and supplies, like old times. Well, kinda. ”

Jackson understood what she meant. “I’ll tell Jackie that you’re coming. She is really going to be happy to see you, Hawk. ”

What about you, Jack? Will you be?

“Just be warned, I don’t want you to expect too much when you see her, okay? She’s hooked up to a lot of machines and wires. It’ll probably bring back some bad memories for you, too. But I’ll be right there if you need me. ” Like always.

Like always. “Thank you, Jack. I’m so glad you called. I’m sorry I didn’t do the same when my dad died. I’ve felt bad about that for a while, ” she confessed.

“Hawk, don’t, okay? I know how hard it was for you not to, believe me I do. I’m glad he had you looking after him during his last days. ”

Christ, I can’t stop crying! “Thanks, Jack. ” They paused, not really wanting to hang up, having so much more to say, but knowing they ought to. “Well, I should get going. I have a lot to do before tomorrow. ”

“Thank you for coming, Hawk. ”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. ”

“Can’t wait. Drive safely, okay? ” Jackson cautioned.

“I will. Talk to you soon. ”

“Bye. ”

Erin hung up and held the phone reverently, not really believing she’d not dreamt that call. Poor Jackie. Jack was right. What are the odds of both of the people we loved most getting cancer? Life just isn’t very fair.

Knowing Kim was going to be a little miffed at her departure before the art show, she needed to call and sort things out. Once she explained the situation, Erin knew she’d understand. Kim knew the entire drama revolving around Erin and Jackson. She wouldn’t dream of standing in the way of Erin answering the request of someone so precious to Jackson.

With the phone hung up, Jackson leaned back on her bed and sighed a huge, relieved breath. Hawk is coming tomorrow. She closed her eyes and smiled. Realization washed over her and she shot out of bed. “Oh, my God! Hawk is coming tomorrow! ” I’m gonna be sick.

Jackson hurried to tell Jackie about her successful phone call. Cindy was in with her, changing an IV bag.

Jackie saw Jackson enter and read the change in her niece’s face. “She’s coming, isn’t she? ”

Jackson’s brow furrowed. “How did you know that’s what I was going to tell you? ”

“Jack, you’ve been living with me your whole life. How could I not see the difference in your eyes? I could tell as soon as you walked in here that you’d talked to her. ”

Cindy snickered. “She’s got you pegged, doesn’t she? ”

“Enough out of you, Nurse Ratchet, ” Jackson teased.

“Hey! I resemble that remark. ”

The two women laughed. Jackson sat down next to Jackie and took her hand. “She’ll be here tomorrow. She’s really excited to see you. ”

“Does she know? ” Jackie asked.

“Well, yeah. Why else would I have called her? ”

Nodding, Jackie said, “You’re right. How are you feeling about seeing her again? ”

“Nervous, sick, excited, sick, terrified, sick—” Jackson’s litany was interrupted when Jackie put a hand on her arm.

“I get the picture. How did she sound? ”

Jackson looked into concerned eyes. “She sounded good. According to our favorite mother, Katie says she’s happily married and ready to pop out some puppies. ”

Jackie’s eyes widened. “Really? ”

“Does that surprise you? Especially with her mother? ”

A dark sadness washed over Jackie. “No, I guess it doesn’t. ” She looked up into Jackson’s unique eyes. “How is dear Katie anyway? ”

“Oh, her normal, crotchety old self. Man, I could feel the tides shift when she realized it was me calling to get Erin’s phone number. ”

Jackie chuckled. “I bet. She’s had it in for you since before you were born. ”

“I guess I can’t blame her, ” Jackson said in a self-deprecating manner.

“Yes, you can, Jackson! ” Jackie spoke harshly which induced a coughing fit. Luckily, it didn’t last long. She took a deep breath. “You cannot believe that. She judged you because of what was in your heart. What kind of person would do that to you? Anyone who knows you can tell there’s nothing but love in there. ”

“You’re right, Jackie, and that’s all in the past. I don’t want to bring any of that up again. I don’t think my heart could take it. ”

“Do you have a lot to do before she gets here? ”

“Mm, I just have to prepare a cabin for her, make sure all the linens and stuff are clean. I’m gonna give her cabin two; it’s right on the lake. It’s still a little cool at night, but there’s a fireplace in that one. I’ll make sure there’s plenty of wood. ”

“You’re a good person, filled with kindness, Jack. ”

“I just learned what I was taught. ” She leaned down and kissed the top of Jackie’s head.

“Sweet talker. ”

“That’s me. ” Jackson smiled down at her aunt. “I’m gonna get to bed, I think. Tomorrow is going to be a huge day and I really need to be rested. ”

“Okay, honey. Sleep well. ”

“You too, Jackie. ”

Erin paced back and forth, listening to the disappointment coming through the telephone line.

“Erin, you know how much better these shows are when the artist is actually there. ”

“Kim, I do realize that, but this is an emergency. Would you rather I cancel the show? You’ve put so much work into it that it wouldn’t seem right. This is Jackie. You know how much Jack and Jackie meant to me when I was growing up. I have to go, ” she insisted.

Kim could empathize, but it still didn’t sit well. She knew more paintings sold when Erin attended her showings. Still, it wasn’t her first show, and she understood the circumstances surrounding her departure, so she would let her go with her blessing. “ Erin, honey, just be careful. I know all too well what Jackson meant to you. I don’t want you getting hurt while you’re up there saying your goodbyes. ”

“It’s going to be painful, regardless of what either of us wants. I know I don’t want to be hurt, but Jackie’s dying. It’s going to hurt to see her that way. ”

Kim shook her head. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. ”

“I know, ” Erin said softly. “It’ll be okay. We were best friends for ten years, we have a connection, and I felt it just being on the phone with her for ten minutes. I’ll be around Jackie and doing what I can for her. The last thing I’m going to do is dredge up the past. ” She shook her head. She couldn’t go down that road again.

“So, can I help with anything else? ”

“Can you come over and feed Gracie and maybe pet her a little every day? ” she asked hopefully.

“Uggh. I knew you were gonna ask for cat duty. ” She exhaled. “Fine, just know you really owe me for this. ”

“I love you, Kimba. Thank you. ”

“Yeah, yeah, good luck and drive safely. ”

“Okay, I’ll call you when I get there. ” She smiled. “Thank you for everything. All the pieces will be in my study. Have a good show. ”

Erin hung up and finished the last of the sorting for her art show. She was certain that Kim would be pleased with the work she was including. There were a variety of pieces with different drawing and painting techniques. With a final nod, Erin placed the pieces of her work around her study in the order in which they should be displayed. She wrote notes about each piece for Kim so she’d have information in case people inquired. She reviewed the prices she’d set, knowing that Kim would change them to a higher figure. She didn’t mind, as it allowed her to live a very comfortable life, a life Jeremy would no longer have the privilege of sharing with her. Jerk.

Erin went upstairs, hauled her suitcase from her closet and threw it on the bed. She started going through clothes in her closet—pants, jeans, sweaters, blouses, T-shirts, and sweatshirts. None of which were jumping at her to be packed. Her brain started to swirl, making her a little dizzy and a lot frantic.

“What am I going to wear! ” she screamed in a panic.

After a long night of packing, a short night of sleeping, and a small plate of brunch, Erin was on the road and halfway to The Northwoods Island City. Knowing the way by heart, she traveled the highways without event and knew if she wanted, she could get there blindfolded. So many thoughts whirred around in her head regarding seeing Jackson again. What will she look like after so long? What will she think of me? Is she harboring bitter feelings? Will she ever forgive me for my cowardice?

Erin knew none of those answers, but would find out soon enough. As terrified as she was of seeing Jackson again, a part of her heart that had been dormant for so long had awakened with that one phone call. Yes, she was frightened of all the feelings she knew would come back to haunt her. Yes, she knew there was a chance that Jackson held some resentment toward her. Yes, Jackie probably knew the situation and wouldn’t be too happy with her, but her mother no longer dictated her life and wouldn’t be able to interfere with her choices this time. She was going to do what she could to help Jackie, and to help Jackson with the heaviness that would come with losing someone she loved.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed the resort. After a few rings, she recognized Jackson’s voice on the machine. Hello, you’ve reached the Northwoods Island City Resort. We’re unable to take your call but it is important to us, so please leave us a detailed message and we’ll call you back. If this is an emergency, please page Jackson Thomas at 715-555-1968. Have a great day. Beep. Erin got lost in the sound of Jackson’s voice, almost forgetting to leave a message.

“Hi, Jack, it’s Erin, err Hawk…” She shook her head. “Um, I left Chicago sooner than I expected, so I’ll be getting into the resort in the late afternoon or maybe around sixish. I just wanted to give you a heads up. Um…I’m really looking forward to seeing the old place again. Talk to you soon. If you want, you can call me in the car, 773-555-5225. Bye. ”

Erin closed her phone and exhaled slowly then wiped her palms on her jeans. “God, even just talking to her machine gets me all crazy. I really have to settle down. ” She threw the phone onto the passenger seat of her Audi. She tried to do some breathing exercises to control herself before she hyperventilated. When that didn’t work, she grabbed a CD from her glove box. Soon the soothing sounds of Loreena McKennitt’s The Mask & the Mirror were coming through her speakers.

“That’s better. ”

The music eased Erin’s frazzled mind and let her relax and enjoy the picturesque drive. Halfway through the CD, her phone chirped. Not taking her eyes off the road, she pawed at the seat in search of the phone. Grabbing the antenna with her teeth, she opened the phone. “Erin Hawkins. ”

“My, my, my, we’re so professional now. ”

Jackson’s throaty amusement crept through the phone line and into Erin’s ear. Erin laughed. “I never know who’s calling me. I gotta be prepared. ”

“Just like the Girl Scout you never were, ” Jackson teased.

“It was your brilliant idea that I even joined. I told you I wasn’t scout material. ”

“I could throw in a really bad line about lesbians eating brownies, but I won’t. ” Jackson laughed at the untold joke.

Hearing Jackson laugh, after so many years without that sound, was a salve to her soul. “Yeah, you’re such a comic, Jack. And a pig. ”

“Guilty. ” The two realized how easy it was for them to fall back into synch after so many years apart. It was as if no time had passed at all. “So you’re invading a little early? ”

“Invading? I do believe I was invited, ” Erin bantered back.

“Invade, invite…what’s a couple of letters between friends? ” Jackson laughed, thinking of the irony in that statement.

“Ha, ha. But yes, I’ll be there around five thirty, I’m gonna guess. I’m making really good time. ”

“Good to hear. We’ll have dinner ready for you. ” Jackson hoped she wasn’t presuming too much.

“You guys were always so hospitable. I’ll be glad to join you for dinner. ”

“Fantastic! ” she exclaimed. “I hope fish is okay, that’s all there is, ” she whispered jokingly.

“As long as it’s breaded and fried and really bad for me, I’m in. ”

“Got it. Bad food while you’re here. Check. ” They shared a chuckle. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it. I’ll see you in…” she checked her watch, “wow, in about two hours. ”

“Yep. Told you I was cruising. I’ll be there before you know it. ”

Yes, you will. “All right, Hawk, be careful. I know how you like to daydream. ”

“Ha, ha. See you soon. ”

When the connection was broken, Erin could still feel the warmth brought on by the voice that had haunted her heart for years.

Erin pulled onto the pebbled drive of the Island City resort. As the buildings came into view, her heart sped up to a dangerous pace. Her hands were already shaking and she’d not even turned the car off yet. She took several deep calming breaths, turned her engine off and popped her trunk. Walking around to the back of the car, she pulled her suitcase from the trunk. Reaching in the still open car, she grabbed her purse and closed the door. With a press of her keychain, the beep confirmed that her alarm was set.

Jackson saw her pull up and her stomach did an incredible number of flip-flops. She knew it would be hard to see Erin, but she was nowhere near ready to face all the emotions that went along with it.

“My God, she’s beautiful, ” Jackson whispered, watching from the window as Erin exited her car. “Damn, Hawk, how can you be even more beautiful than you already were? ” I’m gonna be sick. Jackson put on her best smile, smoothed down her beige Henley and blue jeans, and went outside to greet her guest.

Erin watched as Jackson came out of the main house and her breath hitched. Oh, my God… she is just… wow… Jackson’s long, dark hair was blowing in the breeze; a lovely smile was etched on her face. Erin couldn’t see them yet, but she was sure those eyes would be the warmest mismatched eyes she’d ever seen. Her lips tilted up into a huge smile the closer Jackson came. She couldn’t help the tears that welled in her eyes.

“Hey, ” she forced out.

“Hey, back. ” Jackson saw the tears in Erin’s blue eyes and her heart simply melted at seeing her again.

Erin was not conscious of her next move. She unceremoniously dropped her suitcase and purse and rushed to embrace Jackson in a warm hug that took them both by surprise.

Jackson wrapped her arms around Erin as tightly as she could without robbing the air from her lungs. Holding her Hawk again was better than any dream she’d had since their separation. She could feel Erin’s tremors as she let her tears come.

“Sshhh, don’t cry, Hawk. It’s okay. I’m right here. ” Jackson held her close. She pulled Erin even closer so Erin’s head was pressed firmly against her wildly beating heart. She could feel her own tears well up and was helpless to fight them. She bent her head and smelled the fragrance that was so uniquely Erin. Her hair smelled the same to Jackson as she kissed the top of her head. She threaded her fingers through Erin’s hair so they rested at the base of her neck. She stroked the skin lightly, trying to calm her friend.

After several moments, Erin pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, Jack. I…I had no idea I’d have…” she breathed deeply, “such a strong reaction to seeing you again. ”

Jackson reached out and wiped an errant tear from Erin’s cheek. “It’s okay. I’m sure you heard my heart ready to hammer its way out of my chest. We’re even. ”

We’re hardly even and you know it, Jack. “You look wonderful, Jack. You are even more beautiful than I remembered. ” Erin graced her with a watery smile.

“So are you, Hawk. So are you. ” They stood and reveled in the bond that they’d missed more than they knew. “Do you want to settle in, or would you like to see Jackie first? Or…”

Shaking her head, Erin replied, “It doesn’t matter to me. Let’s dump my bags, then you can take me to see Jackie. ” She looked up at Jackson. “I’m very nervous to see her. ” For so many reasons.

“You’ll be fine, Hawk. I promise. If it gets too hard, you can take a breather. Jackie knows how hard it is going to be for you to see her this way after so long. ”

“I’m sure. Especially after you told her about my dad and his cancer. ”

Jackson looked down and shuffled a loose rock with her foot. “I, um…didn’t tell her about your dad. ”

“Why not? ”

“I don’t know if it was me being afraid of reminding her about her inevitable death from the cancer, or what, but I just didn’t want to say anything. ”

Erin touched her arm. “You always think of everyone else, Jack. I’ve never met anyone quite like you in my entire life. ”

“I think that’s probably a good thing. ”

She was kidding, but Erin took her seriously. “Yes, it is. It allows me to appreciate you even more. Reminds me just how special you are. ”

Jackson swallowed a large lump in her throat and quickly changed the subject before she said something she’d regret later. “Let’s get over to your cabin. I put you in cabin two on the water because it has a fireplace and it still gets a little chilly here at night. ”

Erin smiled. “That sounds great. Lead on. ”

As they walked, Jackson and Erin both snuck small glances at each other. The link between them was still so strong. Jackson led her up the small steps to her new home for the time being. As she opened the door, a little musty smell welcomed them. Jackson went to the window and opened it to let some fresh air in.

“Damn, I knew there was something I forgot to do. Sorry about that. The air should smell better in a little while. ” She pointed toward Erin’s bedroom. “Your bedroom is in there so feel free to dump your bags or unpack or whatever you’d like to do. I’m gonna head back home to make sure I don’t burn dinner. ”

“What are we having? ” Erin asked with a bright smile.

“Like I said, fish. But as requested, it’s breaded, battered, and fried. Just the way you like your walleye. ”

“Oh, wow, walleye. ” Erin’s mouth started to water. “It’s been ages since I’ve had Tomahawk walleye. Thank you, Jack. I can’t believe you remembered that. ”

I remember everything about you, Hawk, but don’t get me started. “Yeah, well, this brain is good for something other than musical notes. ”

“It’s good for many things, Jack. You’re one of the smartest people I know. ”

“You need to get out more, Hawk. ” She winked. “But I really do have to run. Come up to the house when you’re ready. ”

“It really is great to see you, Jack. ”

“You, too. ”

They shared another moment smiling at each other before Jackson ran out to save their dinner.

Erin took the time to unpack, call Kim, and sit down in the recliner in the front room. She breathed heavily, trying to sort out the scattered emotions that were bubbling within her core. She needed to prepare herself to see Jackie in the state she’d seen her father in several years ago. The memories were still raw and she knew she’d have to try to keep her tears in check. Jackie didn’t need her to cry for her. Jackie would want her to make sure Jackson would be okay once she was gone. Erin knew she’d do anything for Jackson when that time came.

Erin knocked lightly on the main house door. Jackson let her in with a smile. “You don’t have to knock, silly. Get in here. ” Erin instantly smelled the mingling odors of fried fish and the sterile smell of a hospital. All in all, not the best she could imagine. Cindy stood up from the couch and approached with a smile as Jackson introduced them. “Cindy, this is my longtime friend, Erin Hawkins. Erin, this is Cindy Appleton, Jackie’s nurse. ”

Erin shook her hand. “It is very nice to meet you. ”

“You too, Erin. The way these two talk about you, I feel like I already know you, ” she said with a wink to Jackson, causing a blush to color her face and throat.

“And she was just leaving. ”

Jackson playfully nudged her with her shoulder. Erin caught the familiarity between them and wondered if there was anything more to their relationship. Jack didn’t mention a girlfriend. Oh, this could be awkward. “Can I go see Jackie or…”

Cindy chimed in, “Actually she’s resting right now. I’d let her sleep a little bit before we get her all excited. She’s been coughing pretty badly today. ”

Erin nodded in sympathy. “Okay, I’ll eat Jackson’s poison and go in after dinner. ”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m a great cook. I can fry anything with fins, ” she stated proudly.

“I just bet you can, Jacques Cousteau, ” Cindy ribbed.

“Enough out of you, Nurse Ratchet. ”

“That line’s getting old, Jack. You need to find some new material. ”

Erin followed them like a tennis match in play. She enjoyed the banter. She looked at Jackson who’d started to go back into the kitchen. “Can I help with anything? ”

“Yeah. Find something to gag that one with, will ya? ” Jackson joked, pointing her cooking tongs at Cindy.

“I meant with dinner. ” Erin sent a smirk to Cindy, which made her shake her head.

“Oh, that—nah, I got it. Take a seat at the table. Food’ll be done shortly. ”

Erin did as she was told and sat down at the perfectly set, small round wooden table. Each plate had a red placemat beneath it and silverware neatly placed next to it. A fluffed cloth napkin was next to the forks. Finishing off the setting, a fresh glass of water was at the top.

“This is great, Jack. You’ve turned into quite the hostess. ”

“Only the best for friends, Hawk. ” She winked and pulled the last of the fish out of the fryer.

Jackson grabbed their plates and began filling them with fish, steamed fresh broccoli, and wild rice. When the plates were returned to the table, Erin took a deep breath, inhaling the wonderful aromas. “This looks fantastic. Thank you so much for cooking me dinner. ”

Jackson smiled. “Don’t thank me yet, you haven’t tasted it. ”

“True. ” Erin cut a piece of fish and blew at it when the steam poured out. “Here goes nothing. ” She put it in her mouth and chewed.

Her eyes suddenly closed and she made a sound that hit Jackson right in her southern parts. God, please don’t do that again. You’re a married woman, you’re a married woman…

Erin’s eyes opened and she swallowed. “This is better than Bosaki’s, Jack. Damn, that’s really fantastic! ” She held up her water glass and toasted, “To the chef. ”

“To me! ” Jackson said happily, clinking their glasses together.

They ate their dinner quietly, sharing some small talk about their professions. When the plates were empty, Erin offered to clean the kitchen. Jackson immediately declined. “No way, Hawk. I haven’t seen you in ages and I’m certainly not gonna let you spend the time here cleaning my kitchen. You’re my guest. I’ll get it before I go to bed. ” At Erin’s doubtful glance, she reassured her. “Really, it’s not a big deal. ” Erin acquiesced gracefully and went to sit in the front room.

Cindy came in from Jackie’s room. “She’s awake, and she’d like to see you, Erin. ”

Erin swallowed hard and smiled at Cindy. “Great. ” She looked to Jackson. “Are you coming? ”

Jackson shook her head. “I’ll let you have a moment of privacy with her, if you’d like. ”

Erin was grateful. “Thank you. ”

Cindy and Erin walked into Jackie’s room. With a barely audible gasp, Erin took in the machines scattered around the room and the tubes that were in most of Jackie’s orifices. A small, clear mask rested over her face, but her eyes were shining and looking right at her. With a beckoning hand, she called Erin over to her.

Erin smiled when she heard a soft, “Hey, stranger. ” She took Jackie’s hand and sat down next to her. “Hi, Jackie. ” Erin tried to push the memories of her father out of her mind. It was difficult. “How are you feeling? ”

Jackie whispered, “I’m feeling pretty good today. I’m so glad you could come, honey. It’s so good to see you again. ”

Tears started to well up in her eyes. “I wish…” Erin swallowed and had to take a deep breath. “I wish…”

Jackie stopped her by squeezing her hand. “I know, Erin. You were going through a hard time with your mother. Believe me, we all were. ” They shared a chuckle, which broke the tension.

“She’s a peach, that one. If I could turn back the hands of time, Jackie…”

“Don’t do that to yourself, kid. You’ll make yourself crazy. Trust me. I used those same words with Jack the other day. ”

Erin shook her head. “I’m so sorry you’re sick, Jackie. If I could fix it, God, I’d die trying. ”

Jackie looked sternly at her. “No. Jack needs you more than me right now. ”

“Jackie, you are her, well, basically, her mother. How can you say that? ”

“Because I’ve watched her live the last several years and without you in her life, her eyes don’t sparkle anymore... When she came in last night after talking to you, that sparkle was back… I wouldn’t have her lose that for anything in the world. ” Jackie smiled at Erin, but frowned when a small coughing fit began.

Cindy came in at the sound of the coughing and Erin let her take over. Erin watched as Cindy gently maneuvered the bed so it was upright then double-checked Jackie’s oxygen flow. When everything checked out and Jackie was settled again, Erin went back to her seat. “Are you okay? I can come back tomorrow after you’ve rested, ” she offered.

“God, I don’t want to sleep anymore. That’s all I’ve been doing. I just wish my body listened to me more. I can nod off in the middle of a sentence these days. ”

“I understand. ” Erin gave her a small smile, thinking about her father.

“So tell me about things… How’s your dad? ”

A look of sadness washed over Erin before she could censor it. When Jackie saw it she knew she had to fill her in. “My dad died several years ago. Lung cancer. ”

Jackie’s eyes filled with tears. “I wondered why Joe had stopped coming up here. Erin, I’m so sorry. I know how much you two loved each other. ”

“Thanks. He was one of the good ones. ” Like you. “So, I guess Billy Joel was right after all, the good do die young. ”

Jackie nodded, understanding the reference. “So seeing me like this can’t be too easy for you, can it…? You didn’t have to come, honey. ”

“Yes, I did. God, for so many reasons. ” She sniffed back more tears. “I know I hurt Jack and I’ve tried to think of a way to call her to apologize for things that happened so long ago. I was the one who asked her not to call me, so how could I possibly just call her? I wanted to believe she’d moved on with her life and was happy. I had to believe that. ” Tears streamed down her face. “I knew she’d tell you about us and the thought of disappointing you both has been killing me, Jackie. You were my family away from home. I’ve loved you forever and you have to know how sorry I am…for everything…” Erin began to cry uncontrollably.

“Come here. ” Jackie pulled Erin’s head down to her chest and she rested her hand on top of it, stroking the auburn hair gently while she let her cry. “It’s okay, I forgive you. But most of all, you have to know that Jack will too. Just make sure you explain everything to her. I know your mother must have put some serious curse on you for you to walk away like you did. Just tell her. ”

Erin nodded against the cloth of Jackie’s nightgown. “I will, I promise I will. ”

They stayed that way until Erin heard the deep breathing that comes with sleep. When she looked up, she saw Jackie’s eyes were closed. She gently lifted the hand from her head and sat up. She placed a soft kiss on Jackie’s bruises, put her hand under the covers, took one last look at the frail, pallid woman in the bed, then got up and quietly left the room.

When Erin entered the family room, she was met by two sets of compassionate eyes. Cindy stood up and Erin said, “She’s gone back to sleep. She seems to be comfortable. ”

Cindy went into Jackie’s room to check on her and Jackson stood up from her recliner. When their eyes met, Jackson saw how red and puffy Erin’s were and she immediately opened her arms. Erin practically ran to her and fell easily into the widespread invitation. She wept for the pain she knew Jackson was feeling, for Jackie being so sick. She wept for all the wrongs that she could’ve prevented—if she’d just been strong enough. The tears were endless, but Jackson kept her in a warm, comforting embrace and gently kissed the top of her head. When Erin pulled back, Jackson cupped her face and gently wiped her tears with her thumbs.

“Are you okay? I know that must have been so hard for you. ”

Erin’s head bobbed up and down. “It was, but I’m so, so glad I came. ” She grasped Jackson’s hands. “Thank you so much for calling me. ”

“You’re welcome. ”

“Do you think you’re up for a walk outside? I haven’t been here in so long, I just want to visit it again. ” Erin’s eyes were filled with hope.

“Sure. It’s kinda chilly out, do you want a sweatshirt? ” Jackson offered.

“Thanks. That would be great. ”

When Jackson returned with a sweatshirt, Erin pulled it over her head and breathed in Jackson’s scent. The delicate balance of Jackson’s lotion, laundry soap and Jackson herself was overwhelming. She took a deep breath and smiled. “Thanks. ”

Jackson poked her head into Jackie’s room. “Cindy, we’re gonna take a walk, but we’ll be back later, okay? ” Cindy nodded.

Walking back to the front door, Jackson held open the screen door for Erin.

Since Erin had last been there, they had added more outdoor lights to the grounds. She also noticed several of the cabins had been upgraded or rebuilt completely. “You guys must be doing well. I don’t remember that big cabin over there. ” She pointed to the lakefront, which sported a large duplex.

“Things have been pretty good. Word is starting to spread about this place. I guess that huge ad you took out in that national paper is finally paying off. Thanks, by the way; you shouldn’t have. ” She nudged Erin’s shoulder, surprised when the smaller woman didn’t nudge back. The ease between them was unmistakable even though so much was still left unsaid. Jackson would be patient. She knew her friend wouldn’t be able to keep it in forever. That’s not the person she was. Especially not with her.

Erin turned abruptly to face Jackson. “Why are you being so nice to me? ”

Taken aback, Jackson asked her to repeat herself. “Excuse me? ”

“I said, why are you being so nice to me? You should be throwing me into the lake, Jack, not coddling me. ” Erin’s emotions were running high.

“Hawk, honey, look…” Jackson, not really knowing how far she wanted this to go, took a deep breath and gently held Erin’s shoulders. “I know there’s a lot we need to talk about, but I also know that you’re hurting inside. Until we’re ready to hash all of that out, let’s just focus on Jackie, okay? If you let me care for you and try to help you through this, it’ll help me as well, I swear. ” When Erin looked at her dumbly, she added, “Please? ”

Erin exhaled, exasperated at Jack’s never-ending compassion. “You really are one in a million, Jack. ” She gazed into the warm eyes of her best friend. “I promise you, before I leave here, I’ll tell you everything. ”

“I can live with that. ”

The two walked around for nearly an hour with Jackson telling Erin all about Jackie’s infirmity—from when they discovered the cancer down to the present. Erin cried now and then, throwing in a few memories of her father and his suffering. Jackson was deeply saddened by Erin’s recounting of Joe’s illness, knowing his last years had been extremely hard on her.

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