Chapter Eight

1990 – Paldeer, IL - Letter to Erin from Jackson

September 12, 1990

Dear Hawk,

See, I told you I’d write. It just takes me a little longer than you. How’s the grounding going? I’m sure Jackie’s been a lot easier on me than your mom has been on you. I’m just glad she didn’t come up and get you. That would’ve been a really awful scene. Your dad is a really cool guy. I’m so glad I got to spend some time with him. It was really cool to go fishing with someone who actually knew what he was doing! I’m sorry again about that bluegill smacking you in the face. I really tried to get the net down.

How is high school? Are you totally freaking out? You know you can call me anytime if you need to talk. I know how scary it was for me to be a freshman in a new school. Just remember to breathe! I don’t want to hear about you passing out in the halls! School is chugging along for me. I’m taking some pretty cool classes this semester. My music teacher hooked me up with a fantastic instructor. She is really making me work. I’ve gotten really good with my flute and piccolo in just a couple of weeks with her. I can’t wait to see how I sound at the end of the year!

Hawk, I was asked to the Homecoming Dance! It’s not until October! Can you believe it? This poor guy just doesn’t get it. Oh well, I told him if he wanted to go as friends, I’d go with him, but not to expect any fireworks from me. I think Jerry is going to think about it before he commits! HA, HA.

I hope things with your mom are going okay. I really hate the way she treats you sometimes, Hawk. I don’t mean any disrespect against your mother, but damn she can be mean! *insert hug here*

Jackie and Sandra have been at each other’s throats lately. I have no idea what’s going on, but I don’t think it’s good. I’ll let you know more, I know you liked Sandra. Well, except when she accidentally knocked you off the dock and into the water. That really was a mistake, Hawk. She didn’t mean it.

Anyway, I have a huge test in biology and I have to study. I hate this class the most out of all of them so I really have to dig in.

Let me know if there are any jerks I gotta drive down to defend your honor from. I know how to get there now, so tell them to watch out!

Friends 4 Ever.

Love,

Jack

1990 – Island City – Letter to Jackson from Erin

October 14, 1990

Dear Jack,

I am so sorry I haven’t written all month. I don’t think I could have any more homework. High school is going okay so far, but man, it’s been a lot of work. My art classes, as I’m sure you can guess, are my favorite classes. I have two really fantastic teachers and they seem really available to us. My friend Tom and I spend a lot of extra time in the art room after school. He’s really talented, Jack, you’d like him. He can draw the most incredible cartoons! He made this one about dead people that your sick sense of humor would appreciate. It was like all the dead people had their own community and would initiate the “new” people. It’s so damn funny. I’ll see if he’ll give me a copy of one so I can send it to you.

Uggh, don’t get me started about my mom. She has been a bear to be around. I know she means well and just wants what’s best for me, but sometimes she wants too much. I tried to tell her I don’t want to be a cheerleader, but she made me feel bad so I’m going to tryouts. I guess a couple girls left the squad, and they need to fill the spots, so I’m gonna try out tomorrow afternoon. My dad said not to worry about it and if I didn’t make it, I could just tell her that I tried. Sometimes I think she wants me to do all the things she never did.

I’m really excited to hear about your new flute instructor. Is she cute? Ha, ha, I’m kidding. I’m glad she’s working your butt off. You have so much talent, you better not waste it or I’ll come up to the Northwoods and kick your butt myself!

I’m sorry to hear about Jackie and Sandra. I hope they stay together, Jack. I can tell how much Jackie loves her. Give her a hug for me. Your aunt is the best and I’m so glad she’s the one who raised you. She done good with you.

My birthday was cool. Thanks so much for calling me, it was a HUGE surprise! It was better than any card, so don’t feel badly about not sending one. I preferred to hear you sing me the happy birthday song to any Hallmark version. You’re the best.

Okay, that’s all the time I can spare. I have so much homework tonight I’m going to drown in textbooks! AHHH!

I miss you, Jack. Take care of yourself.

Friends 4 Ever.

Hawk

1991 – Paldeer, IL – Letter from Jackson to Erin

March 23, 1991

Dear Hawk,

How’s it going? Things are getting crazy with spring break coming soon. I have one major test before we are let out. Yep, you guessed it, biology, so wish me luck. I’m at least keeping a B-minus average, so Jackie isn’t riding me too hard.

I have some news that is really great, but it makes me really sad to tell you. My flute instructor told me about a great music camp in Michigan. It’s a really hard-core music camp, not like the kind when we were kids. The camp provides you with some of the best teachers from across the country to help you with your craft. Everything about it is great, except for when it is. It meets for the entire summer, Hawk, which would mean we wouldn’t see each other this year. I can feel your disappointment from here, believe me, I feel it too. But you’ve always told me to keep going with my music and Jackie said I could go, so I’m gonna do it.

Please tell me what’s going on in your head. I know you, Hawk, you’re a thinker (but not a stinker) Seriously, it was a really hard decision for me to make, but I guess I do have to start thinking about my future sometime.

Please write me back as soon as you can. Or call me if you want, if your mom will let you. I wanna hear from you soon, okay?

Friends 4 Ever – I mean it!

Love,

Jack

1991 – Island City – Letter to Jackson from Erin

April 5, 1991

Dear Jack,

Wow, that was some letter. As you can see it took me a little while to digest everything. Even though I’m incredibly sad I won’t see you, I’m that much more excited that you’re going to be working on your music this summer. Just like you support my artwork, I always want you to work at your music. You’ve been given a great opportunity and you have to take it. I’ll always be here, but something like this won’t be. I’m really glad you decided to go.

I told my parents that you wouldn’t be up there this summer, but my dad still wants to come up. I’ll have to see if I want to go with you not being there. I think it’ll be too weird. But maybe I’ll go just to see Jackie and she can tell me all the dirt you’ve been holding out on me. We’ll see. I have a few months to decide.

I can’t believe I have about a month and a half left of my first year of high school. It hasn’t been too bad, actually. I’ve made some friends, but we are the “art nerds” and people always look at us funny. We just look at them and cross our eyes or something and they totally look away. Tom and I have gotten really good at making faces at the girls in the “Barbie” crowd. They are just so lame. Tom is really a cool guy. He’s so gifted, Jack. Sometimes his creations make me just go…WOW, look at what you’ve done! He has a couple of tattoos, one he even gave to himself. They’re really cool and colorful. He’s gonna show me how to use the needle with inks. Who knows, it might be a skill I can fall back on. Maybe I’ll tattoo a donkey on my mom’s face while she’s asleep so everyone can see what a pain in the ASS she is. Seriously, though, I think I might like Tom. Do you think I should ask him out on a date? Girls do that, right? I’m not really good at the dating thing, so help me out, Romeo. J

Don’t worry about me, Jack. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that something good will come of this camp. Who knows, maybe you’re meant to run it one day. J I’ve enclosed a self-pic I had to draw for class so you can see what I look like now. My hair is totally red now and way past my shoulders. I think I like it, though. We’ll see.

Anyway, I’m so proud of you, Jack. Knock ’em dead in Michigan. You’d better write me while you’re there.

Friends 4 Ever – I know you mean it!

Love,

Hawk

1992 – Island City – Letter to Jackson from Erin

May 31, 1992

Dear Jack,

I know you won’t get this on the right day, but I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. A high school graduate on her way to Indiana University. I read up on them, Jack, and they have one of the best music programs in the country. Good for you! I can’t believe you got a scholarship too! I told you your music would take you far. I have missed you so much, but I know how busy you’ve been. School is ending in a couple weeks here as well, so I understand. I appreciate the calls when you don’t have time to write. It’s always so great to hear your voice.

Tom and I are still dating, but something is just off between us. I think maybe we should just stay friends. I think my mother would have a heart attack if I broke up with him. I swear she wants me to marry him. I’m not even seventeen yet! She’s been nagging me about him nonstop since the first night he picked me up to go to the movies. Only time will tell, right?

I didn’t want this to be a super long letter, I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you how proud I am of you. You’ve accomplished so much in your eighteen years. I hope I can say the same thing when I’m done with high school. I’m sorry you couldn’t get a ticket for me for your graduation. My mom probably wouldn’t have let me go anyway. Just know I was with you in spirit. I love you, Jack and I’m so glad you’re my best friend. You’re just the best.

I’ll miss you, but it’s a huge honor to have been asked back to the Interlochen camp. You’ve obviously made an impression with them. But who can blame them, you’ve always made a huge impression on me. I’m going up to the Northwoods with my parents this year. It wasn’t the same last year. When I sit on the boathouse roof and draw my sunsets over Lake Tomahawk, I’ll think of you.

Friends 4 Ever,

Hawk

1994 – Paldeer, IL – Letter to Erin from Jackson

June 4, 1994

Dear Hawk,

I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting to write this letter. HAPPY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION! You did it! I’m sure it seemed like the longest journey of your life, but you did it and did it well! You didn’t have to call to apologize, Hawk. I know your mom wouldn’t let me step foot in that auditorium. Just know that at 2: 30 I was cheering for you from the Northwoods. I think the trees shook!

We have been best friends for almost ten years and, Hawk, they’ve been the best years I could imagine. You’ve given me so much to be thankful for. Your incredible gift has made me appreciate art in a way I never would’ve on my own. Your perspective on certain things has made me pause when I encounter situations I’m not familiar with. I usually ask myself how you’d handle a situation and I can actually hear your answer. It’s usually the right one, too. You have such love of life even though your mother has made that nearly impossible for you. I can’t tell you how angry I was with that whole Tom situation. That poor guy didn’t even see it coming, did he? Hell, if I were him and my girlfriend’s mother told me to give her a ring, I don’t know if I would’ve had the guts to actually give it to her. It would’ve made me think that she was a nut job and wonder whether I really wanted her as a mother-in-law. I think you handled it the best, though, as usual. He’ll find a girlfriend in school next year. I know you said you didn’t feel that kind of love for him, so I think you’re both better off.

I only have one more summer up in Interlochen. It really makes me kind of sad. I’ve grown to love everyone so much. Every year there are new kids with such dreams in their eyes. I love being able to teach to them and watch them develop their talents. You’re going to see some amazing music coming from these kids in a few years. You mark my words. This place has really given me an amazing feeling of accomplishment I don’t know that I would’ve had if I hadn’t come here. I’m literally feeling high all the time. It’s so incredible. Maybe you were right. Maybe teaching is the way to go for me. Time will tell, right?

We need to make sure that we see each other next summer. It’s been far too long since we’ve gotten to hang out. I really miss you, Hawk. Everyone is sick of hearing me talk about you. I kept your self-pic up in my room at school and at camp. Everyone always asks who it was. When I told them the model was my best friend, they all said I was full of it. Everyone’s full of something, though, right? J

I am so incredibly proud of you, Hawk. You’re going to knock them dead at the Art Institute. I know it! I know you wanted to get away from your mom, but hell, it’s still in the city away from her and you don’t have to stay at home. That’s good, right? Your dad seemed pretty jazzed for you when I called. I’m so glad he’s been such a positive person in your life. He really is the best dad around.

Okay, Hawk, I gotta get to my next session, but know that I love you and I’m always thinking about you.

You are my friend 4 life.

Love,

Jack

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