Chapter Twenty-Five. Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Five

150. 0

I’m now working out with the Hillcrest Elite. Well, not with them, with them, but at the same gym. I’ve seen Mom here over the past two weeks, some of her

friends, Elizabeth and a few of the other girls from school. Beforehand, I would have thought I’d feel uncomfortable, like I don’t fit with them. While I don’t fit in some ways they’re just the kind of things that make people different—not something that makes one person better than the other. You know, diversity makes the world go round and all that stuff.

I’m keeping the routine Tegan taught me, except I’m taking a class here and there. So far I’ve tried Step Aerobics and Cycling. Can I just say that cycling is no joke? I thought my butt was going to fall off it burned so bad, but it’s another war wound I’m glad I have. Cycling is my new goal. Soon, maybe in a week, a month, two months, I’m going to master the class like I am with so many other things in my life right now.

Me. Annabel Conway. Who would have thought? Me, that’s who.

Chapter Twenty-Six

140. 2

The bell rings and I slam my locker closed. Em’s standing next to me and we’re ready to go to our first class. It feels so strange being back at school. Especially since I’ve only been here for fifteen minutes and I’m pretty sure everyone in the whole school has stared at me and half of them have come up to talk to me. Told me how good I look, acted like we’ve been best friends for years. I’m nice, tell them thank you and promptly hide behind Em.

Because even though this is what I thought I wanted over three months ago, it’s not.

Okay, let me rephrase that: it is. I wanted to lose weight. Wanted to be healthier. Wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, but back then I also wanted to prove a point to the Billy’s of my school. I wanted the boys to drool and the girls to be jealous. Maybe that makes—or made— me a shallow person. Or maybe it just made me someone who wanted to shine for once, which I don’t consider a bad thing. I’m not sure which it is. What I do know is, standing here, twenty five pounds lighter, I’m happy. I feel good about myself, but it’s not because all these people are staring at me. It’s not because I’ve had people tell me how good I look or because suddenly it’s okay to be my friend.

It’s not even because I’ve lost weight. Being overweight doesn’t make a person someone to be ashamed of, just like being skinny doesn’t make you someone to

be proud of. No. What matters is on the inside. How you feel about yourself and how you treat others. I’ve accomplished something and found my self-worth. I couldn’t give a crap about Billy Mason anymore. I care about Annabel Conway. I care about my friends—my true friends. Em, Sandra and April. We’ve been texting

back and forth and even met up at the mall once. Em likes them, and they like her too. And it’s hard…so hard not to ask them about Tegan. To tell them I don’t want to hear it when they talk to me about him, but I do it. Even though I still love him, I find a way not to go there. I’m not ready yet.

“Billy Mason, twelve o’clock, ” Em whispers in my ear.

I look over to see Billy, Patrick and the rest of their crew walking down the hall. The sea of students part, letting the shark wade through the water until he stands in front of me.

“Wow…Lookin’ pretty hot, Conway. ”

Okay, is it me or is he the biggest idiot alive? Lookin’ hot, Conway? I’m not sure that’s cool in any universe. Especially one where he’s given me hell for years and picked a fight with my boyfriend. “You must have worked on that one all night. I have to say, your line could use a little more work though. ”

I start to walk away, but Billy’s hand on my arm stops me. “Listen, Conway. ” He steps closer to me and lowers his voice. “Can we go somewhere to talk? ”

Instead of holding my thoughts in, I find myself saying them. “Are you for real? No. Actually, hell no. ”

“Aw, come on. Is this because of your boyfriend? Listen, I didn’t mean to kick his ass, but he started it. ”

My heart jumps at the word boyfriend when it’s attached to Tegan. “It has nothing to do with Tegan and all to do with the fact that you’re an ass. That just

because I’ve lost twenty-five pounds you automatically decide to try being friends with me. What? Because I fit in now? ”

“No, it’s because you’re hot now. ” Billy laughs and all his friends fall into step, laughing with him. How does that make him funny?

“And you’re a jerk. How shallow do you think I am? After everything you’ve done to me, you think just because you decide to show me attention now I’m going

to fall all over you? ”

“I—”

“No. I didn’t say you could talk yet. You made me feel like crap. I didn’t fit into your little definition of perfect and you never let me forget it. I can assure you, there is nothing. Nothing that would ever make you worth the air you breathe. ”

“She told you, ” Em says from beside me.

Just like the end of school last year, we’re surrounded by people. This one will end differently. All of us are going to be late for class, but obviously no one cares.

Without another word, I hook my arm through Em’s and we walk, not run, away with our heads held high, Billy gaping at us as we go.

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