Chapter 22

I leave Jesse with a chaste kiss and a look of trepidation all over his stunning face. ‘I’ll call you. ’ I say casually, jumping out of his car. I can’t get away quick enough. I shut the car door and hurry up the path to Kate’s house. I don’t look back, shutting the door swiftly behind me and sagging against it.

‘Hey! ’ Kate appears at the top of the stairs with a towel wrapped around her. ‘You okay? ’

I can’t plaster the fake smile on anymore. ‘No, ’ I admit. I’m way past being okay.

She looks at me with a mixture of confusion and sympathy. ‘Tea? ’

I nod, peeling myself from the door. ‘Please don’t be too nice to me. ’ I warn. Tears are threatening, and I’m willing myself to keep them under control.

I knew this would happen. Not this soon, but this nasty aching heart business was inevitable. She smiles, knowingly, and jerks her head. I drag myself up the stairs, finding her in the kitchen making tea.

I collapse in one of the mismatching chairs. ‘Has Sam gone? ’

She spoons three sugars into her mug, and even though her back is turned away from me, I know she’s grinning. ‘Yeah. ’ she says, way too casually.

‘Good night? ’

She turns, narrowing her bright blues on me before she grins. ‘The man’s an animal! ’

I scoff at her description of Sam. There’s a certain someone else I could nail that descriptor to. ‘Good? ’

She pours boiling water into the mugs and adds milk. ‘He’s all right. ’ She shrugs. ‘That’s enough about me. Why did you leave this morning looking like you’d had a similar night to me, and return a few hours later looking like you’ve been slapped? ’ She takes a seat, handing me my tea.

I sigh. ‘I’m not going to see him again. ’

‘Why? ’ she cries.

I look up at a shocked, pale face. Why is she so stunned by my declaration? ‘Because Kate, without a shadow of a doubt, I’m going to get stung really nastily. He’s hazardous. ’

‘How do you know that? ’ she asks incredulously.

Well, that’s easy. ‘He’s a mature business man, way beyond rich and confident. I’m just a little play thing to him. He’ll get bored, toss me away and move onto someone else. ’ I huff sarcastically. ‘Trust me…there will not be a shortage of women throwing themselves at his feet. I’ve seen the reaction he draws, I’ve experienced it. He’s incredibly fierce in the bedroom – and bloody good with it – and that tells me he’s not short of sexual conquests. ’ I draw breath, while Kate looks at me agape. ‘He’s a woman magnet, possibly a womaniser. I’m already getting a reaction from Sarah. ’ I slump back in my chair, grabbing my mug of tea.

‘Who’s Sarah? ’

‘A friend, the one who I thought was the girlfriend. She doesn’t like me, and she’s made it perfectly clear. ’

‘You’re not seriously jumping ship because of a few bitchy words from a woman scorned? Tell her to fuck off! ’

‘No, it’s not just that, although I really don’t need claws digging in my back. ’

She rolls her eyes. ‘My friend, you’re blind! ’

‘No I’m not. I’m sensible, ’ I defend myself. ‘And you’re bias. ’ I spit. She’s made it perfectly obvious she likes Jesse, but why oh why, I don’t know. ‘Why do you like him so much? ’

‘I don’t know. ’ She shrugs. ‘There’s just something about him, isn’t there? ’

‘Yes, and it’s dangerous. ’

‘No, it’s the way he looks at you, like you’re the centre of his universe of something. ’

‘Don’t be stupid! I’m the centre of his sex life. ’ I correct her, suddenly considering the fact that I could, quite possibly, be one of many women he’s showing a good time to. The thought is painful and another reason to walk away while I’m still partly intact. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m already in pieces, but it’s only going to get worse the longer I let this go on.

‘Ava, you’re the master of denial. ’ she scorns me lightly.

‘I’m not in denial. ’

‘Yes, you are, ’ Kate states firmly. ‘You’ve fallen in love with him. It’s easy to see why. ’

‘I’m not in denial. ’ I affirm, because I don’t know what else to say to that. Is it that obvious? I’m denying it all the way. It should make this painful process easier to bear. ‘I’m going to lie down. ’ I push my chair away from behind my legs and it scraps along the wooden floor. I wince at the piercing sound. The hangover’s back with a vengeance.

‘Okay. ’ Kate sighs.

I leave her in the kitchen to retreat to the sanctuary of my room, flopping on the bed and pulling a pillow over my head. I hate to admit it, but that pouty bitch is right. I can’t build my dreams of Jesse Ward. The thought is like a knife through my splitting heart.

***
I walk into the office for a fresh week, feeling anything but fresh. I didn’t sleep a wink, and I’m under no illusion as to why that is.

‘Morning, flower, ’ Patrick calls from his office. He sounds better.

‘Hi. ’ I try to sound chirpy but fail miserably. I can’t even muster up the strength to feign cheerfulness. I throw my bag by my desk and sit down to fire up my computer.

Within five seconds, my desk is screaming in protest as Patrick takes his usual pew. He looks much better as well.

‘What’s the state of play with Van Der Haus? ’ he asks. This will be a project that Patrick will keep a keen interest in.

I reach under my desk to retrieve the small box of material samples that I abandoned on Friday. ‘These came on Friday, ’ I say, laying some on my desk. ‘He’s emailed me the specifics and sent the drawings over. ’

Patrick flicks through the pile of swatches – all in neutral tones of beige and creams, some patterned, some not. ‘They’re a bit boring, aren’t they? ’ he grunts disapprovingly.

‘I don’t think so, ’ I pull out a lovely, thick striped piece. ‘Look. ’

He turns his nose up. ‘Not my cup of tea. ’

‘It doesn’t have to be. ’ I remind him. He’s not going to be buying a posh apartment in The Life Building. ‘Mr Van Der Haus is back from Denmark today. He said he would call about a site visit. I’m going to crack on, if you don’t mind. ’

Patrick stands, and I perform my usual wince as the desk creaks. ‘Yes, you carry on, ’ He eyes me suspiciously. ‘Tell me to mind my own if you like, but you don’t seem yourself. Is there anything the matter? ’

‘No, I’m fine, honestly. ’ I lie.

‘Are you sure? ’

No!

‘Yes, Patrick. ’ I try, and fail terribly, to sound sure. My phone starts jumping around my desk and Sam Sparro’s Black and Gold blares around the office. I frown, picking it up to see Jesse’s name flashing on the screen. He’s been messing with my phone again. My heart flutters and not in a good way. I can’t speak to him.

‘I’ll let you get that, flower. Keep that pretty little chin up. That’s an order! ’

Patrick leaves me as I silence my phone, but no sooner has it stopped, it starts replaying again. I push the button to shut it up, placing it on my desk and throwing myself into some work. I find the email from Mikael. It’s brief, but there’s enough information for me to start compiling my designs.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone is still ringing and I’m getting sick of the track and sick of reaching over to shut the damn thing up. I was delusional if I thought he was going to make this simple for me. My text alert starts chiming, but instead of deleting it – which would be the sensible option – I open it.

ANSWER YOUR PHONE!

Oh, here we go. Sam Sparro starts playing up again, and I silence my phone…again. I’m never going to get any work done at this rate. Then there’s another text.

Ava, speak to me, please. What have I done?

I pop it in my top draw and try to forget about him. What has he done? Nothing really, but I’m sure, if I give him the opportunity, he will. Or will he? Oh, I don’t know. But instinct tells me to walk away.

‘Sal, if anyone calls the office I’m on my mobile, okay? ’ I know that will probably be his next move.

‘Okay, Ava. ’

I start cracking on with my mood boards and drawings for Mikael. I’ve not even seen the apartments yet, but I have a good idea of where I’m going with this and, surprisingly to me, I’m quite excited.

I pop to the deli at lunch time to grab a sandwich, returning to the office to eat it. I’m informed by Sally that a man called while I was out, but he didn’t leave a message. Of course, I know who it is, but I’m on a roll and I don’t want to interrupt my momentum, so I disregard his persistence. With Victoria and Tom out of the office all day on various appointments, I’m not being side tracked with drama from Victoria and seedy stories from Tom. I can’t let Jesse distract me either.

I persistently ignore my phone, except when Mikael calls to arrange a meeting for tomorrow. He’s stuck in Denmark for the rest of the week, so I’m meeting his PA at The Life Building at nine in the morning. As six o’clock hits, I’m satisfied with my productive day and glad I knuckled down. The day has flown by.

Crawling through the front door, I find an empty house. I’m absolutely shattered. It’s a combination of the after effects from my Saturday night blow out and the Jesse saga. I’m rubbish at hangovers. They last longer than the average day for me. My Monday night cheeky glass of wine will not be happening tonight.

I take myself to my room and strip down to shower, gazing up at the ceiling for strength when my phone starts ringing again. This man is not going to make this easy on me. I know it. But then I realise…it’s not Black and Gold. I’ve endured the damn track all bloody day, knocking my phone to silent each time. I’m pleasantly surprised when I see “Mum Mobile” flash up.

I listen to her for twenty minutes as she gives me the full itinerary of Dan’s journey from Australia to Heathrow. Bottom line…he’ll arrive next Monday morning, spend the week in Newquay and return to London on the Saturday. After checking all is well in Newquay, I go to take a shower. Sam Sparro starts shrieking about Black and Gold again, and I turn my phone to silent…again. If I can’t hear it ring, then I won’t be tempted to answer the thing.

After my shower, I fall into bed and I’m asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

‘Wake up sleepy head! ’ Kate’s shrill voice stabs at my eardrums. I roll over and look at my clock.

In a blind panic, I clamber out of bed and try to gain a bit of composure. It’s eight O fucking clock! I’ve slept for thirteen hours. Christ, I must have needed that.

‘Why didn’t you wake me? ’ I yell as I hot foot it across the landing to the shower. I’ve got to be at The Life Building in an hour to meet Mikael’s PA.

‘I was asleep myself. ’ Kate replies, all happy and fresh. Why is she so bright eyed and bushy tailed? I soon find out when I collide with Sam’s half naked body coming out of the bathroom.

‘Easy chick! ’ he laughs, steadying me with his hands.

I rip my eyes away from his fine physic. ‘Sorry! ’ I blurt, highly embarrassed. Does the man always wander around women’s apartments semi clothed?

His infectious grin reveals his cute dimple as he steps to the side and bows. ‘It’s all yours. ’

I dart in and slam the door to hide my red face, but I don’t have time to dwell on my embarrassment. I jump in the shower and wash my damp hair, peg it across the landing in my towel to the safety of my room and fly around in a frenzy getting ready. It’s now that I’m glad I had such a good sort out, finding everything I need at first look. I throw on my blush dress, nude heels and rough dry my hair before piling it up. A quick sweep of powder, blusher and mascara, and I’m all set. I’ve never got ready so quickly.

I take my phone off charge and clear the forty two missed calls from Jesse before throwing it in my bag. Flying into the kitchen, I find Sam and Kate sat at the table. Has no one else got work today?

Sam looks up from his bowl of cornflakes and grins. ‘Seen Jesse? ’ he asks.

I halt, mid-frenzy, and look at him. He’s still grinning at me. ‘No, why are you asking me? ’

‘Have you been in your pit all night? ’ Kate asks, completely confused.

‘Yes, I got in from work about six thirty and collapsed into bed. And you can’t call it a pit anymore. ’ I correct her proudly. ‘Why? ’

I watch as Kate looks at Sam, and Sam looks at Kate, then they both look at me. They both look confused and slightly worried.

‘You’ve not seen or spoken to him? ’ Sam asks, his spoon hovering in mid-air on its way to his mouth.

‘No! ’ My tone is impatient. What’s the matter with them? I don’t plan on seeing or speaking to him ever again. ‘I’m not stitched to his hip. ’ I spit harshly.

‘He rang me five times last night, looking for you, ’ Kate explains.

‘Me ten! ’ Sam interrupts.

Kate looks truly concerned. ‘We got in about eight and assumed you were still at work. He was frantic, Ava. We tried calling you. ’

Oh, I’ve not got time for this. What does he think’s happened to me? The man is neurotic, and I’m certainly not his concern. ‘My phone was on silent. Anyway, as you can see, I’m alive and well so if he rings again you can tell him so. ’ I huff shortly. ‘I’m going, I’m late. ’ I turn to leave the kitchen.

‘When he stopped calling, I assumed you were with him. ’ Kate calls to my back as I leave.

‘Well, I wasn’t. ’ I shout on my way down the stairs.

I arrive at The Life Building bang of time, in a bit of a fluster, to meet a petite, blonde lady in the lobby. She’s middle aged and very pixie looking, with sharp features and cropped hair. Her plain black business suit does nothing for her pale complexion.

‘You must be Miss O’Shea, ’ She holds her pasty hand out to me. ‘I’m Ingrid. Mikael advised you that I would be here, yes? ’ Her Danish accent is very strong.

‘Ingrid, call me Ava, please. ’ I take her hand, shaking it lightly. She looks so fragile.

She smiles and nods. ‘Ava, of course, ’

‘Mikael called me yesterday to tell me he’s held up in Denmark. ’

‘Yes, he is. I’ll give you the tour. Works are not quite finished so you’ll need to put these on. ’ She hands me a yellow hard hat and hi-visibility vest.

I slip on the safety kit, while considering what I must look like in my lady-like, blush dress and this get up. I panic for a moment, worried that she might make me put on some steel toe cap boots, but she presses the button for the elevator and my worries disappear.

‘We’ll start in the penthouse. It’s very similar to the layout of Lusso. ’ The elevator arrives and we step inside. ‘You’re familiar with Lusso, of course. ’ She smiles, revealing a mouth full of straight teeth.

I like her. ‘Yes, I’m familiar with Lusso. ’ I return her friendly smile. More familiar than you know! I snap a lid on my drifting thoughts immediately. I must not think about him. I must not think about him. I repeat the mantra all the way to the penthouse, while Ingrid explains the minor differences between Lusso and The Life Building. There are not many.

The elevator opens straight into the penthouse; this is one of the differences. Lusso has a Penthouse foyer. The underground parking is the other.

‘Here we are. After you, Ava, ’

I take her direction, walking into a vastness I’m familiar with. The size of this Penthouse must be almost exact to Lusso. It looks bigger at the moment, standing an empty shell, but I recall Lusso feeling the same.

‘You can see we used oak here. All of the windows and doors are bespoke and made using sustainable wood. I’m sure Mikael has advised you of this part of the specification in the email he sent you. ’ I glance at her. She must catch my blank expression because she laughs, shaking her head. ‘He didn’t mention it in his email? ’

‘No, ’ I reply, praying that I read it properly, and in full.

‘You’ll have to forgive him. He’s slightly sidetracked with his divorce. ’

Divorce? Oh, is that what’s held him up in Denmark? I think it slightly inappropriate that she’s told me such a private part of Mikael’s personal life. Everyone is being so open and honest these days. Or am I just being closed and guarded?

‘Consider me advised. ’ I smile.

Over the next few hours, Ingrid walks me through the entire building. I take photographs of the spaces, making notes en-route. The Life Building houses the same luxuries Lusso offers to its residents – a luxury health club, a twenty four hour concierge and the latest security systems. The list goes on. Mikael and his partner certainly know how to deliver on modern, luxury living. The views over Holland Park and the city are incredible.

We find ourselves back in the main foyer. ‘Thank you for the tour, Ingrid. ’ I remove my fetching hat and vest.

‘You’re welcome, Ava. Do you have everything you need? ’

‘Yes, I’ll wait to hear from Mikael. ’

‘He said he would call you on Monday. ’ she says as she shakes my hand.

We say our goodbyes, and I leave Ingrid and The Life Building, heading back to the office. I call my doctors surgery on my way; I need to replace my pills. Where they have gone is a bloody mystery. I get an appointment for four o’clock today, which is a relief. Not that I plan on having much sex anytime soon. I’ve had enough lately to see me through for a while.

‘Afternoon, ’ I sing to Tom and Victoria as I walk into the office.

Tom frowns and glances at the clock. ‘Oppsie! I’m late for Mrs Baines. She’ll be having kittens! ’ He jumps up from his desk, straightens his yellow and blue, stripy tie – which wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t sporting an orange shirt – and tweaks his blonde quiff. ‘I’ll be back after I’ve pacified the loopy old bird. ’ he chants, collecting his man-bag and dancing out of the office.

‘Bye. ’ I call, landing at my desk. ‘You okay, Victoria? ’ I ask. She’s daydreaming. ‘Hello? ’ I call.

‘Huh? Oh, sorry. I was miles away. What did you say? ’

‘Are you okay? ’ I prompt.

She smiles brightly, flicking her long blonde locks over her shoulder. ‘I couldn’t be better. ’

Of course. I wonder if her good mood has something to do with a certain standoffish, smart suited man called Drew. I haven’t seen her since Saturday night, but from what I recall – before drunkenness rendered me stupid – she and Drew were looking rather friendly. Is everyone getting it on at the moment?

‘And why is that? ’ I ask on a raised brow.

She giggles like a little girl. ‘I have a date with Drew on Friday night. ’

I knew it, although I still can’t wrap my brain around ditsy Victoria and serious Drew. ‘Anywhere nice? ’ I ask.

She shrugs. ‘He didn’t say. He just asked if he could take me out. ’ Her mobile rings and she excuses herself by waving it at me.

I turn my attention to my computer, silencing my phone when it starts blurting Black and Gold. It’s becoming automatic to just reach over and press the button on the side without even looking. After it’s shouted at me three times on the bounce, I turn the sound off altogether. The man is a persistent pain in the arse.

‘I’m off, ’ Victoria calls, getting up from her desk. ‘I’ll be back about four. ’

‘I won’t see you. I’ve a doctor’s appointment at four. ’

‘Oh? ’ She glances over on her way out.

‘I lost my pills. ’ I offer. She pulls a face that tells me she’s been there and done that. It makes me feel slightly better for being so careless.

I start filtering through my emails and take some copies of drawings to send to my contractors.

When it hits three o’clock, I go to make the coffee. Sally always does it, but I’m relieved to ease my eyes from my bright computer screen.

‘Ava? ’ I hear Sally call me. I poke my head around the kitchen door, seeing her waving the office phone. ‘A man on the phone for you, he won’t say who he is. ’

My heart jumps into my throat. I know damn well who it is. ‘Is he on hold? ’

‘Yes, shall I put him through? ’

‘No! ’ I yell, and poor nervous Sally flinches. ‘I’m sorry. Tell him I’m out of the office. ’

‘Oh, okay. ’ She looks all wide eyed and confused as she pushes a button on the phone that will connect her back to Jesse. ‘I’m sorry, Sir. Ava is out of the offi…’ She jumps a metre into the air, dropping the phone onto her desk with a loud clatter. She scrambles to pick it up again. ‘I…I…I’m…I’m…sor…sorry, Sir…’ She’s stuttering and stammering all over the place, a good indication that Jesse is yelling down the phone at her. I feel riddled with guilt for putting her through this. ‘Sir, please…I…I assure you…she’s…she’s not here. ’

I watch as she freaks out at her desk, looking at me wide eyed and stunned as she’s verbally assaulted by Mr Neurotic. I smile apologetically. I’ll buy her some flowers.

She drops the phone back into the cradle, looking at me in shock. ‘Who was that? ’ she asks. She’s going to cry.

‘Sally, I’m so sorry. ’ I quickly grab the coffees from the kitchen – the only peace offering I can lay my hands on at the moment – and drop Patrick’s on his desk, exiting sharply before he can strike up a conversation. I take Sally’s coffee to her desk and place it on her coaster. ‘I’m so sorry. ’ I hope I sound as guilty as I feel.

Sally blows out a long exasperated breath. ‘Someone needs a cuddle! ’ She starts giggling.

I’m completely stunned on the spot. I was expecting tears and a nervous breakdown. Instead, dull as dish water Sally has just cracked a joke. I look at the mousey, plain Jane chuckling, and I start laughing too – a proper bend over, tears in my eyes, stomach cramping belly laugh. It feels so good. Sally joins me in my hysteria as we both fall apart all over the office.

‘What’s going on? ’ Patrick’s voice calls from his desk.

I wave my hand in the air to him and he rolls his eyes, returning to his computer on an exasperated head shake. I couldn’t tell him, even if I was in a fit state to talk. I leave Sally crying and head for the toilet to sort myself out. Oh, that feels so good. I’ve seen Sally in a whole new light. I like sarcastic Sally.

When I’ve gathered myself together and dabbed my running mascara, I let Patrick know that I’m off for a doctor’s appointment. ‘I’m sorry, Sally, I can’t look at you! ’ I splutter as I pass her desk and leave the office, hearing her laughing again. I compose myself and make my way to the tube.

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