Chapter 18

‘Keep your fucking hands to yourself. ’ Jesse snarls at a poor, startled Cockney. He doesn’t know what’s hit him. I feel bad; he was only trying his luck. I would have dealt with it. Where did he come from? This is all I need on my night out, supposedly free from arrogant men. Or not so, it would appear. He’s left me for four days wondering what happened, and now he’s turned up, out of the blue, raging like a wild bull. Has he even calmed down from Tuesday?

‘I’m sorry mate. I didn’t mean any offence. Your girlfriend and I were just chatting about shit, ya know. ’ Cockney explains, completely panicked.

Girlfriend? Oh! I want to advise poor cockney that I’m not even the girlfriend of the maniac pinning him up by his throat, but judging by Jesse’s obvious mood, I’ll decline at the risk of pissing him off further.

‘Jesse, let go of him, he wasn’t doing anything. ’

Cockney looks at me gratefully. He knows I’m stretching the truth. A few more seconds, and I’m pretty sure I would have been throwing a drink over him. I gently stroke Jesse’s arm in an attempt to calm him down, ignoring his warm firmness. He looks like he could explode with anger. I’m pissed. How dare he turn up and trample all over my recovery night.

‘What’s going on? ’ Kate arrives next to me.

‘Nothing, ’ I snap. ‘Jesse, let him go. ’

He doesn’t appear to be listening. What am I supposed to do with this? I don’t want to see him. I’m feeling derailed already, and he hasn’t even looked at me yet. I can hardly walk away and leave poor Cockney to bear the brunt of Jesse’s unjustified rage. Where the bloody hell has he been for four days?

I’m beyond relieved when Sam turns up on the scene. ‘Sam, please sort your twat of a friend out, ’ I turn towards Kate. ‘Come on. ’

Kate’s eyes light up like The Blackpool Illuminations at Sam’s unexpected arrival. I hear Sam calmly coaxing Jesse from Cockneys throat as I drag Kate away, heading for the dance floor.

‘What was all that about? ’ she asks.

‘Don’t. What happened to Greg? ’

‘He was a total dick. Come on, let’s dance. ’

Tom and Victoria welcome us with waving arms as we join them on the dance floor. I’ve been thrown off guard by Jesse turning up. Is this a coincidence, or did he know I would be here? How could he know? I was having a great night, not having thought about him for at least an hour. That’s a record for the last four days. Damn it!

I push Jesse out of my mind and soon let The Source & Candi Staton take me to a better place. I love this track.

After half an hour and a string of some great tracks, I haven’t seen or heard from Jesse. Sam must have ejected him, or maybe the doormen did. Either way, I’m free to resume the great night it had been up until Jesse crashed in. I signal to Kate that I’m going to the toilet, smiling when she acknowledges with a shimmy and a laugh.

As I exit the cubicle, I fish my nude lipstick out of my bag to reapply, and check my phone to find ten missed calls from Jesse. What? Oh, he’s angry all right. But what on earth has he got to be mad about? Any pangs of Jesse withdrawal have been extinguished by his unreasonable behaviour. Who does he think he is? I don’t dwell on it, though. I clear the missed calls, making my way back to the dance floor, only to find the others making their way to the bar.

‘Drink! ’ Tom clenches his throat in an exaggerated signal of thirst.

It’s Victoria’s round. As I wait for her to get served, a wave of unease washes over me. He’s still here. I know it.

She hands me my drink, her mouth gaping open. ‘Oh…my…God! ’

I take my wine. ‘What? ’

‘That guy, the one in Starbucks I was telling you about, ’ she explains, nodding over my shoulder. ‘There he is. I told you he was yummy. ’

I turn in the direction of Victoria’s stare and find her looking at Sam. But that’s not what catches my attention. Every fine air on the back of my neck prickles when I see Jesse leaning against the very pillar he had poor Cockney pinned up against, not an hour ago. His severe stare is piercing me, while Sam and the other guy from The Manor, Drew, are busy chatting and drinking. Jesse’s not engaging in the conversation, though. No, he’s stood there looking as angry as he did earlier, drilling holes right into me. Victoria’s information suddenly filters into my brain.

I turn back to her. ‘What happened? ’

She looks vague as she hands drinks to Kate and Tom. They accept, swiftly returning to the floor. ‘What happened where? ’ she asks on a frown.

I roll my eyes. She’s so dim sometimes. ‘Starbucks, what happened? ’

‘Oh. ’ She’s back in the game. ‘She just walked in, started screaming and shouting, and lobbed a coffee over the poor bloke. ’

‘What did she say? ’

‘Oh, I can’t remember. She called him a selfish, cheating something or other. ’ she flips casually. Sam has a girlfriend? I’ll have to warn Kate, she seems to like him. ‘Hey, he’s with the guy who hoofed you out of the office. ’

‘Yeah, listen, keep that to yourself, okay? ’

She frowns at me. ‘What? ’

‘I mean the flying coffee. And while we’re at it, not a word to Patrick about the hoofing either. ’

She shrugs. ‘Whatever. Oh, I love this song. Ava, come on. ’

I watch as Victoria dances her way back through the crowd, but I can’t move. I can feel his eyes burning into my back. I know I should just walk away, but the magnet affect he has on me sets me turning towards him instead. He has his phone in his hand, and he waves it in the air in a kind of look gesture. I don’t know why I do, but I do. I get my phone from my bag, and not so much to my surprise, Jesse’s name is illuminating my screen. I glance back up, seeing him put his phone to his ear. He wants me to answer it.

The loud music around me fades out into a dull base, pulsing in my ears, and the hum of laughing and chatting diminishes into a low mumble of sound around me. I’m being swallowed up by his eyes. I’m completely immobilised. My senses are assaulted by the presence of Jesse Ward, the sight of him triggering all the memories of his voice, his smell, his touch. The unforgiving power he holds over me is playing the Devil’s advocate with my intelligence, and my heart is hammering a wild, uneven beat in my ears.

I watch as he lowers his phone from his ear, shaking his head. He starts towards me. I see Sam look in my direction as Jesse leaves their group, Drew flipping his eyes up too. They both look uneasy at Jesse’s obvious target. I momentarily recapture my senses when Sam grabs Jesse’s arm to pull him back, but gets shoved out of the way. The music and activity crashes back into my brain. I plead with my legs to listen to the sensible side of my brain and take me away from here before my stupid side allows me to fall victim to his physical magnetism again. I abandon my drink on the bar and kick my legs into action, bolting through the crowd, knocking people out of the way, as my retreat becomes fraught with the need to make it to the safety of the toilets. No contact and no derailment. Hazardous doesn’t quite cover it. He’s proved tonight exactly why I need to avoid him like the plague. I throw the cubicle door shut, fighting to secure the latch as he pushes against the other side, hindering my attempts to keep him away. My adrenalin is pumping. For the briefest of moments, I think I’ve managed to block his access because the resistance on the other side eases, but not enough to for me to get the lock engaged.

‘Ava, I’m coming in or you’re coming out. I don’t want to hurt you, but if you don’t stop fighting me, I’ll break the fucking door down. ’ His breathing is heavy.

Resting my back against the door, I try to get some air into my lungs. I look up around me. I’m cornered. You would think I would be safe in the ladies. I can’t look at him, I’ll cave if he gets is hands on me. I need not to be in this fucking position! How did I get myself in the situation? I jump when the bang of a fist on the door resonates through me.

‘God damn it, Ava! ’ Bang! ‘Ava, please. ’

I repeatedly jolt forward under the thumps of Jesse’s fist. I’m screwed. ‘Go away, please! ’ I shout.

His fist collides with the door again. ‘No, fuck. Ava! ’

I just have to leave. He won’t restrain me in such a public place. I need to walk away. Block it out…block him out. There’s silence. I hold my breath. Has he gone? I stand quietly for a few minutes, my eyes darting around the small cubicle, constantly looking up to check he’s not coming over the top. He’s gone. I stupidly relax against the door.

Within in two seconds flat, I’m thrust forward and he’s in. When I turn around, there’s less than a foot between us, and the first thing I notice is his rapid breathing, his black shirt lifting with the rise and fall of his chest. I stare at his jeans. If I look up at his handsome face, I’m at an instant disadvantage.

‘Ava, look at me. ’ he demands harshly. I clap my hands over my ears, lowering myself to the toilet seat. I need to block it all out. ‘Ava, why are you doing this? ’ he asks.

Oh, how long have I got to sit here and block it all out? I start humming in my head as I stare down at the floor. I feel his hands clap around my wrists, pulling my hands away from my ears. His touch heats my skin. Why does he think I’m doing this?

‘I don’t want to do this in the toilets of a bar, Ava. ’

‘Then don’t. ’ I try to regain possession of my hands but, as usual, he overpowers me. ‘Please, just let me walk away. ’

He slowly crouches down in front of me, still holding my wrists. ‘Never. ’ he whispers.

The tears in my eyes spill over, splashing the top of my bare knees. ‘Why are you doing this to me? ’

He clenches my jaw, pulling it up so I have no choice but to look at him. His eyes are glazed. ‘Doing what? ’

Oh, the arsehole. His impudence knows no bounds. I use my free hand to roughly brush the dampness away from my cheeks, suddenly horrified that I am, yet again, crying all over him.

‘You persistently pursued me, bombarded me with calls and texts, fucked me into oblivion and threw a wobbly when I rearranged our meeting. You stormed off four days ago, and I’ve not heard from you since! ’ I pull my other hand from his grasp. ‘Now, you turn up, trampling all over my recovery night. ’

He’s the one to look away now, he’s ashamed. ‘Watch your mouth. ’ he murmurs.

Watch my mouth? After all that, he tells me to watch my mouth? He’s impossible!

‘Fuck off, Jesse. ’ I spit.

His head snaps up. ‘Mouth! ’

I look at him in shock, and he scowls at me, his frown line deep on his forehead. I can’t cope with this. I’ve had four days to put my encounters with this man down to experience and rebound fucking. I was well on my way to forgetting him – kind of. Why is he here refreshing it all for me? I knew I should’ve stayed away. I could kick myself.

I stand up in front of him, leaving him crouching, but he reaches up and clasps behind my bare legs. The fear of his evocative touch is completely warranted. I’m immediately on guard. The heat emanating from his palms is spreading like wild fire through my blood stream, and there is no way to free myself from it. The toilet is behind me and he’s blocking the door.

‘Let me go, Jesse. ’ I grate, with all the firmness my quivering vocal cords will allow.

He looks up at me. ‘No. ’

‘You seemed to manage just fine on Tuesday. ’

He pushes himself up to his feet, sliding his palms up the backs of my legs as he does. It sparks a vicious bang between my legs. ‘I was mad. ’ he says quietly as he looms over me.

‘You’re still mad. Did you know I would be here? ’ I ask. He stares down at me, but he doesn’t answer. ‘You knew I would be here, didn’t you? ’ I push.

‘Sam. ’ he offers, completely unashamed.

‘Sam? ’

His face is poker straight. ‘He rang Kate. ’

‘She never said! ’ I cry in despair. The devious cow! I can’t believe she’s done this to me. There will be some seriously strong words exchanged when I get my hands on her.

‘I’m going to kiss you now. ’ It’s that tone, and I know I’m doomed. ‘You’re lucky, because if I had you anywhere else, you would be getting a reminder... right... about... now. ’

I gasp as he takes the one step forward that’s needed to close the gap between us. With the toilet behind me, there’s no retreating space.

‘I like your dress, ’ he murmurs, stroking my bare arm with his finger tip. ‘It’s too short, but I like it. ’ He leans down, nuzzling my neck on a groan. My knees buckle. Damn him. And damn me too.

My eyes close without command, my head turning into his hot breath on my neck, my willpower scattered to the wind, just like that. It’s impossible. He’s impossible.

I feel him crouch slightly, his arm creeping under my backside, and with one effortless pull, he straightens his legs and lifts me from the floor. I’m secure against his chest and looking down into his eyes.

Game over. In a tiny toilet cubicle, I’ve absolutely no hope.

‘Do you have any idea what you do to me? ’ His husky voice breaks as he looks up at me. ‘I’m a fucking mess. ’

He’s a mess? That’s rich! He releases his grip on me slightly, causing me to slide down his body until our lips meet. He swings me around, pinning me up against the back of the door. I don’t have time to be concerned by our location; I’m too busy searching for the willpower to stop this. His tongue brushes across the seam of my closed lips, tempting them open, and I’m furious with myself for responding. But I should know by now…it’s unavoidable. I open to him like I always do, meeting his tongue with mine, clamping my hands in his hair.

Groaning deep and low in his throat, he locks his free hand around the base of my neck to hold me in place as he pushes his body further into mine. Our mouths are fused and our tongues colliding, rolling and stabbing together. This is a possessive, demanding kiss, and I’m back to square one. With just one kiss, I’ve surrendered. I’m weak and desperate.

He breaks away, leaving me panting and feeling the violent rise of his chest pressing against my breast bone. His forehead meets mine and my nostrils are instantly invaded with his minty breath.

‘There she is. ’ he pants surely.

‘Yes, you got me again. ’

He smiles slightly, circling his nose with mine. ‘I missed you, baby. ’

‘Why did you go then? ’

‘I’ve no idea. ’ He plants a lingering kiss on my lips and lets me slide down his body.

I feel the undeniable hard ridge of an arousal as I slip past his groin. He’s being very reasonable, especially considering his current hard condition. I look up at him, finding a dark smile playing at the corners of his lips.

‘I should force you to sort this out. ’ He places his hand over his crotch and my eyes widen in shock. Fuck, I probably would as well. He bashes down all of my defences and tramples my rational thinking. He has a frightening effect on me. ‘But I’m not having you on your knees in here. We’ll make friends properly later. ’

I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or relieved. He opens the door, manoeuvring so I can leave. I walk out to be immediately confronted by two wide eyed women. They start talking about anything and everything, looking anywhere and everywhere, except at me. But then Jesse makes an appearance and they can’t hide their blatant interest. They both stand with their lipsticks half way to their lips, gawking in the reflection of the mirror at the magnificent male who has emerged from the cubicle behind me.

I turn to Jesse. ‘I need to sort my face out. I’ll see you out there. ’

‘You face is perfect as it is. ’ he reassures me softly.

I can’t help but smile. ‘I won’t be long. ’

With no regard for the women still gawping at him, he walks over and kisses my forehead, looking at the dumbstruck women in the mirror. ‘Ladies, ’ He nods, they swoon, and then he’s gone.

I shuffle over to the mirror to sort my face out, the silence painful as I reapply face powder, eye liner and lipstick. In other words, I basically re-do my whole face; it’s a tear stained mess. I do all of this in an uncomfortable silence, as the two women shoot each other questioning glances every so often.

When I’m done, I wash my hands, smile sweetly and leave, hearing them coo and melt all over the ladies bathroom. I escape and find Jesse waiting for me outside. He holds his hand out on a smile. Of course, I take it, letting him lead me to the bar. I scan the dance floor as he pushes his way through the crowd, making a clear path by holding his spare arm out. I see Kate, Tom and Victoria, all still busting their moves.

‘What do you want to drink? ’ he asks, tucking me under his arm and getting the bar man’s immediate attention.

‘Zinfandel, please, ’ I inch closer to him. I can’t get near enough.

He gives me a quick scan over with his enquiring eyes, pursing his lips. ‘Your friends? ’

‘Oh, Kate’s a wine, vodka and tonic for Victoria and a pina colada for Tom. ’

His eyes widen. ‘Tom? ’

I smile. ‘Gayboy, you’ve met him. ’

Realisation dawns on his handsome face. He shakes his head in dismay, releasing me and turning back to the barman, who’s waiting patiently for Jesse to order the drinks.

Kate and Tom approach us, laughing and eyeing me up. I flash Kate a filthy look, but she just points her finger at her own chest in a moi gesture.

‘Jesse ordered your drinks. ’ I inform them, while keeping my accusing scowl fixed right on Kate. She ignores me.

‘Oh…a God and a gentleman, ’ Tom gushes, blatantly eyeing up Jesse’s arse. I don’t blame him; it is a very attractive jean clad arse.

Jesse presents the drinks to Kate and Tom, and I watch in stunned silence as Kate leans in to give Jesse a kiss on his cheek. What is wrong with that woman? I’m even more shocked when Jesse smiles brightly at her before whispering something in her ear. What’s going on?

She turns, winks at me and leads Tom back to the dance floor as Jesse hands me my wine, opening a bottle of water for himself. He slips his free arm around my waist to pull me close. I look up at him questioningly. What was that? Are they working in cahoots?

‘Hey, my man, ’ Sam comes barrelling over with Drew, both taking the beers that Jesse hands them. ‘Ava, where’s the love? ’ He leans down so I can peck his cheek, flashing me his cute dimple as he does. He’s cheeky, sweet and terribly good looking, but given Victoria’s revelation, I need to be wary on Kate’s behalf. Drew holds his bottle up as his hello, ever the shrewd, standoffish one.

I smile and lean up to Jesse’s ear. ‘I’m going to join the others. ’ He’s with his mates and this is supposed to be a girly night out – Tom doesn’t count. He turns his face into my neck and steals a cheeky nuzzle, taking full advantage of my position.

‘I’ll be watching. ’ he warns in my ear, nipping my lobe and slapping my backside. The soreness has abated, but there’s still evidence of my tumble around in the back of Margo. I pull away and pout playfully, earning me a huge smile and a wink. Is he watching for possible Cockneys, or is he watching me?

Leaving him at the bar, I find the others on the dance floor, all happily lapping up the music and drinks. I laugh at Tom, who’s in a world of his own, and as Justin Timberlake’s Lovestoned comes through the speakers, I’m welcomed to the dance floor with gasps and whoops. In my semi-drunken state, I stupidly down my wine and discard my glass on the designated drinks ledge. If there was ever a track to pull me out of my despair, even if it’s just for a few moments, it would be this one. The timing is impeccable. All bags are thrown, unceremoniously, into the middle, Justin shouts “Hey” and the crowd is thrown into a delirious frenzy.

I’m happily enjoying some moves and laughs with Kate, when I’m grabbed by the waist and spun around. I find Sam grinning at me and nodding over my shoulder.

‘Here he comes. I hope you’re ready for this. ’ he says.

‘What? ’ I shout over the music.

Sam’s grin widens, displaying his dimple at its deepest. ‘He thinks he owns JT. ’

I have no idea what he’s talking about. He clasps my shoulders, rotating me on the floor, and I spot Jesse striding towards me. I’m suddenly worried that he’s going to cause a scene and drag me from the floor. For what, I don’t know, but he’s famous for flinging me over his shoulder as he pleases.

I watch him nearing, slowing my movements down as I concentrate on his approach. I’m not sure what to make of this. His expression is dark and hungry, and I’m completely engrossed by his tall, lean body getting closer. That bloody gait does serious things to me. By the time he’s stood before me, as close as he can get but without touching me, I’ve stopped moving completely. My breathing is heavy. He snakes his arm around my waist and hauls me up to his body, prompting my hands to fly up and grasp his flexing biceps as he rests his forehead against mine.

‘You’re going to get a lot of men dropped if you keep dancing like that. You like a bit of JT? ’

‘Yes. ’ I breathe.

He smiles that delicious, melt worthy smile, reserved only for women. ‘Me too, ’ He drops a kiss on my lips, then, to my utter shock, he grasps my hand and flings me out on a spin before yanking me back into his arms. He’s not going to dance, surely? ‘And it’s the extended version. ’

Is it? What does that mean? I look at Sam, who rolls his eyes on a shrug, then back to Jesse, who has the biggest self-assured smirk on his face. He is going to dance. Well, this should be interesting.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve drank my own body weight in wine, or if it’s Jesse’s cock sure demeanour – it’s probably the former – but whichever, it’s got me performing an indecent shimmy down Jesse’s body, while my palms drag, damn right obscenely, from his chest, all the way down to his thighs. There I am, squatting in front of him with my palms partly spanning the front of his magnificent thighs, looking up at the most handsome man I’ve ever laid my eyes on. My dress is probably riding up my bum cheeks in the crudest fashion, but I’m oblivious. All of my attention is on the God like creature staring down at me, with a filthy, promising look on his face. I smile boldly, making a point of smoothing my palms closer to his groin area, before slowly pushing myself up his body, ensuring maximum contact between us. As my face passes his groin, I run my nose up the fly of his jeans, feeling him shudder and jerk before he reaches down, grabs my arms and hauls me up the rest of the way. My heart is hammering as he breathes in my ear – long, hot, heavy breaths.

‘I should bend you over here and fuck you until you scream. That dress is absurd. ’

I don’t have time to say, yes, please! I’m spun out, and I watch as Jesse makes a mockery of Mister JT himself. I’m completely astonished at what’s unfolding before me. Jesse Ward can dance - and dance well.

How old is he?

He moves around me, his rhythm flawless, drawing the attention of many delighted women. I snatch quick glances at the others, all sharing in Jesse’s delight, and I laugh. I laugh at the sexy, confident, fluid movements that have come as such a pleasant surprise. This man doesn’t only have moves in the bedroom. Does he do anything badly? Leaning into me, he gives me a teasing circle of his hips before he sends me on a full three sixty spin under his arm, pulling me back into his chest and thrusting his hips into my lower stomach. His erection is still evident. I cheekily reach down to stroke his jean clad crotch, raising my eyebrows when he shakes his head in warning. Clearly, his boldness is rubbing off on me.

He proceeds to lower himself down my body, grinning as he clasps my hips and I jerk. I look at him watching me as he drifts down, landing on his knees in front of me, and moving his glorious hips in time to the beat.

I’m being flung around the dance floor, worshipped and adored. All of his attention is on me and me alone, and nothing or no one else exists, just me and him. I like it. I love that he has no misgivings; he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He’s confident, masculine and unashamed. It’s refreshing, and I’m not ignorant to the fact that I’m falling. I’m falling really hard for this man. And I don’t think there’s much I can do about it, especially when he won’t let me walk away. Do I even want to?

I glance at the others, to see Sam flinging Kate around the floor – I’ll deal with that conniving cow later – and Drew is homing in on Victoria. Drew, in all his smart finery, seems a bit too up his own backside for sassy – sometimes a bit dense – Victoria, but drink has clearly loosened him up because he’s laughing and the suit jacket’s been removed. Tom is just being Tom, throwing himself around like a deranged maniac.

I turn my attention back to Jesse when he grasps my hips. He plants a long languid kiss on my stomach, gazing straight into my eyes before springing to his feet in front of me and dropping his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, sighing into his mouth.

‘It seems I have competition, ’ he mumbles against my lips.

‘No, you win. ’

He pulls back, hitting me with his roguish grin. ‘I’ve won all right, lady. ’ He releases me and I toss my hair over my shoulder, letting him take me on the floor. We move in complete harmony together. It’s perfect. He’s perfect. I can’t even remember why I’m mad - am I mad?

But then the energetic beat slows down, drifting into the smooth, powerful drones of violins and a slow intense beat. I’m short of breath and swathed in Jesse’s body. He thrusts his thigh between my legs and sways us both to the echoes of the extended piece.

I look up at his beautiful face as he sings to me, and I have a frightening moment of pure lucidity. I’ve already fallen.

Holy shit, I think I love this man.

He has a flashing, neon sign the size of London on his forehead, saying, RUN. But I can’t. He won’t let me, for a start. Besides, I don’t think I want to. He disappeared for four days but he’s back, and I’m really glad. Good Lord, with a stomach full of wine, this is not the time to be contemplating such complex and risky issues. I feel like I’m navigating very dangerous waters here. I know nothing about this man. Well, apart from his extreme wealth, extreme intensiveness and the fact that he owns a massively plush hotel, but other than that…nothing. I don’t even know how old he is. But despite my lack of knowledge, he’s completely taken me.

I lean up and place my lips on his, and within a few seconds, when he’s moaned into my mouth and tightened his grip on me, we’re entwined in a deep, passionate embrace.

Oh dear, he’s trampled into my life and stole my heart, and there is nothing I can do about it.

The music starts to fade out, drifting into another track, and I start leaning back in his arms. He bends with me, supporting my back and refusing to break the contact of our lips. Moaning disapprovingly, he reluctantly releases me but keeps me suspended in his arms. It’s not uncomfortable; he’s holding all of my weight, like I’m no more than a feather.

His sludgy green eyes twinkle as they penetrate my heart and soul, and he lowers his face to mine so our lips brush lightly.

‘You’ve got me, baby. ’

Well…that statement is just playing havoc with my drunken mind.

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