CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER TEN

Everything was dark and still when Caroline hobbled down the darkened path- some distance from her house. The swelling in her foot had lessened and now she was left with only a dull ache whenever she put pressure on it. She hoped her heart would heal as fast. This was the last time she'd be able to wander aimlessly on the cliffs like this and listen to the soothing rhythm of the sea. The night breeze drifted past her, carrying the unmistakable scent of seaweed. It gently lifted her hair away from her face and carved her flowered voile dress to the slender curves of her body.

She shifted her suitcase to her other hand, sighing restlessly. In a little while she'd be in Penzance and it would be the beginning of a whole new life for her. If she couldn't find work there, maybe she'd try to venture as far as London. Her favourite author always made it sound like such an exciting place in many of her books. Girls were always going there, combining their resources and sharing flats and bedsitters and making a go of it. They even fell in love and found their happily ever afters. Nothing said it only had to happen in fiction. She could try her luck there in real life as well.

If she began to think of how much she'd miss her family and this slower paced part of the country, she resolutely put it out of her mind. It was time to go on, time for a change. She'd allow herself no regrets. She told herself that eventually she'd be able to think of David and Steven without this sick misery tearing her to pieces.

The sky was beginning to blaze on the horizon, the darkness rapidly giving way to glorious hues of pink and gold and violet. Caroline stopped and set her case down in the blowing grass and stood watching the sun slowly rise in a spectacular silent burst of glory from the water's far distant edge.

'Beautiful, isn't it? But it's too silent. At the very least, such splendour should have a crashing symphony orchestra accompanying it.'

They were her thoughts exactly but she hadn't voiced them.

Stiffening, she whirled around with a sudden jerk and looked up into David's handsome face. He was standing behind her dressed in a dark business suit and looking very much at ease. She began to tremble and tried to look away but his bright blue eyes caught and held hers and she couldn't move. The gentle line of his mouth curved in a warm smile, making her weak with the sudden longing to throw herself into his arms. She could actually feel every nerve .ending screaming to reach out and put her hands on his tall pulsing body. The clean warm scent of him was all around her, driving her mad. How could she feel this way? She was running away from him, for heaven's sake. A sudden mindless heat and embarrassment swept through her.

David's smile deepened knowingly before he tore his eyes away from her and bent down to pick up her case, gesturing for her to continue walking in the same direction she had been going. 'May I walk a little of the way with you?' he asked huskily, completely throwing her into a panic. She expected him to be angry, not gentle. Why wasn't he forcing her to turn around and go back? She hesitated, not knowing what to do, and her legs began to quiver into a painful stiff awkwardness.

He smiled again, more gently this time, and she nearly burst into tears. 'Caroline?'

She swallowed and forced her gangly legs to move.

At her first hobbling step, he put out an impersonal hand and caught her elbow in his warm gentle grip. 'Is your foot hurting you?'

Her whole arm seemed to flame when he touched her and she didn't even know she had a foot. Her attention was forced to the rocky sloping path in a struggling attempt to appear indifferent and aloof and self sufficient but her pulse was pounding wildly, giving her away. 'It's not hurting really,' she whispered jerkily. 'Just a little tender when I walk on it.'

He nodded and they went on together in silence. It was an awkward silence but Caroline couldn't seem to break it. How did she deal with him? She wished she knew what he was thinking. His face was set in impassive but pleasant lines that told her nothing. The lack of expression only made her heart beat faster.

Warily watching him sideways through her lashes, she tried not to be drawn to him but his nearness brought a warm rush of feeling sweeping through her. Lots of men had sand-coloured hair and thick winged brows but why did his nose have to have that fascinating bump on the bridge of it? Or his cheeks those deep slashing grooves? Or his mouth such a definite slant of sensuality? Tremors of longing shook her when she added up all his features to this handsome wholeness that she had to resist.

He moved easily beside her, his long loping strides shortened to keep pace with her. He didn't remove his hand from her elbow and with a subtle pressure, he was letting her lean more and more of her weight on him.

They could have been two lovers walking hand in hand watching the sunrise. Only she was on her way out of his life and he had her case in one hand and her elbow in the other and the silence between them was awkward not companionable. She couldn't relax. Everything about him made her overcharged emotions tingle with breathless awareness. She began to falter, struggling with everything churning inside her. Vague Confusion began to crystallise into outright pain.

The wind whipped at her hair when she stopped and turned to look him full in the face. Her shimmering green eyes were glazed with hurt. 'Why are you here, David?'

He didn't seem surprised by her question. Glancing sideways, he made a helpless little movement with his mouth before setting her case on the ground and turning to her, reaching out to brush back the hair blowing in her face, becoming wholly absorbed in the task. His touch was a caress, over and over again. His eyes ran over her face as if memorising every feature. 'It took me all my life to find you,' he said bleakly. 'How could I let you leave me?'

Unexpected tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't utter a sound.

'No one ever loved me before,' he murmured, his fingers moving to smooth the blowing neckline of her dress. 'I was needed but never loved.'

'Morwenna told ‑'

'No,' he cut in gently. 'Morwenna didn't have to tell me. You told me yourself. With everything but words.' His hands strayed to her neck, lightly curling into the long warm curve and his voice sank to a whisper. 'And I was telling you I love you with every kiss we shared, every look, every touch.'

Caroline struggled for composure, desperately trying not to listen to the passion throbbing in his voice. He was standing so close she could feel the heat of his body and smell his clean earthy scent. His breath stirred her hair, making her shiver. Why did he have to say this now? How was she ever going to live without him after hearing him say he loved her? She swallowed jerkily.

'I couldn't understand why you kept turning hot and cold,' he went on. 'When you were in my arms, you were so full of passion. I was sure you loved me. But whenever you were with your family, you could barely stand to look at me. And then that one time when we were so close, you pulled away and said you remembered who I was.'

'Oh, David,' she choked, 'I thought ‑'

He laughed softly and bent his head, helplessly burying his mouth in the side of her neck where her pulse beat wildly. His lips pushed the soft material of her dress aside and lightly rubbed against the creamy texture of her shoulder. His restless hands idly caressed the long pliant length of her spine, pulling her closer. 'Yes, my love, I finally realised what you thought—when you said you were going to dance at my wedding. But I never loved Sharon.'

She could feel his heart pounding heavily under the hand she convulsively pressed to his chest and when he raised his head she saw grave blue eyes glittering in his face.

'I was afraid it was something totally different,' he murmured.

A frown creased her forehead at the strangeness of his expression and she leaned back to put a little distance between them. 'What else could there be?'

His arms fell away from her and dropped defeatedly to his sides. She noticed the sudden involuntary clenching of his fists when he deliberately took a step away from her. 'I almost asked you several times to marry me,' he said tautly, looking out to the restlessly moving water at his side, 'but in the end, I couldn't. It wasn't time yet. I had to wait. I was torn between you and Steven. I didn't want to lose either of you.'

'Steven?' Her eyes became huge. What had Steven to do with it? He'd already told her about not being his real father. He knew it didn't make any difference to her.

'That's why I was so angry when your grandfather told me you deliberately led me into compromising situations so I would have to marry you,' he said unsteadily. 'You were forcing me to choose when there could be no choice.'

'But Grandy lied to you,' she whispered, her lips white and shaking. 'I never planned any of those moments together. He saw us by his accident, not my design.'

'I know. He finally admitted as much to me yesterday. His conscience was bothering him and he told me it was all his doing. I think deep down I knew it all along. I was hateful to you but I was more angry with myself. I didn't know what to do. And then I heard you leave this morning and I knew I had to come after you. You're my life, Caroline. Without you, there's no meaning to it.'

She watched all the colour slowly leave his face and a sudden shiver ran down her spine. A sense of foreboding seemed to fill the air about them and little darting thrills shot through her arms and legs and made the hair at the back of her neck stand on end. She had the strangest impulse to cry. 'But why?' she asked in a wobbly voice. 'Why would you have to choose between Steven and me? You told me you aren't his real father but that doesn't make any difference to the way I feel about him. Why do you think you can't have us both?'

He looked at her sombrely for a long minute and his mouth moved as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't force the words out. He closed his eyes on a spasm of pain and abruptly turned away, violently pounding one fist into the other. 'Oh, God!' he muttered grimly.

And then quite suddenly she knew.

Like a blinding light abruptly flooding a darkened room, she understood what it was that was so familiar about Steven. All of a sudden she could see it. Certain little mannerisms, the lift of his head, the flash of a smile, the lilting cadence in his voice, all of them were Philip Tregenna's.

Her mouth lost its pale flush and became as hard and fixed as stone. The emerald green of her eyes was the only colour in her face. Even the wind seemed to die down and the crashing sound of the waves beating against the rocks lessened. She stood beside him tall and white and still, alone and untouchable, with utter calm. The knowledge didn't wound her as once it might have done. She hadn't really loved Philip so all she could feel was a profound pity for him. She was more surprised at David's reluctance to tell her.

'You should have told me, David,' she said quietly, standing there in inflexible stillness. 'Steven is Philip Tregenna's son, isn't he?'

David was the image of shattered astonishment. Hardly breathing, not moving, he stared incredulously with wide blue eyes. 'You knew?'

'No, but I should have done. I'm more surprised that you found it so hard to tell me. I almost stumbled on it the day you told me why you married Judith. Why didn't you tell me then? It would have been the perfect time.'

He looked at her for a long leaden moment and his expression saddened. 'I didn't know then. I suspected as much but all I knew for sure was that you loved Philip and you didn't know he and Judith might have, been lovers. I couldn't hurt you by telling you that.'

Her heart twisted. 'I only thought I loved him,' she cried. 'But I didn't. I didn't love him at all! I only thought I did. I let him ruin my life because I thought love had betrayed me. Is it such an elusive mystery that a person can't really tell if it's real or not?'

'Yes,' he murmured passionately. 'That's one of the things that makes it so tantalising and so wretched.'

She looked at him in caught out surprise. He knew. He understood everything she was feeling. Thin shards of ice trickled down her spine. How could he always be walking around in her mind like that? 'You said you didn't find out about Philip until yesterday. How‑?'

He heaved a small sigh. 'Sir James rang me when Mrs Trerhyn told him we were getting married. I went and saw him last night.'

She unconsciously held her breath.

'He always blamed me for ruining Judith's life,' he said dispassionately, 'and I never denied it. Maybe I should have done something different when she came to me and asked for help. Maybe I shouldn't have made it so easy for her. Maybe I should have made her talk to her father or to Jason, but she said she didn't want them to know so it was the only other thing we could think of to do.'

'But at what cost to yourself?'

'It was nothing,' he said softly. 'I wasn't hurt. I could only have been hurt if I'd loved her. I didn't love Judith that way. Oh, she was sweet and good and kind. But she was never my wife. She loved' Steven's father to the end of her life. I knew that. She never told me who he was. I thought it was Philip but I respected her privacy and never asked. She never told Philip about his son. I don't know why she thought he wouldn't marry her—I found out last night that he was killed in a road accident on his way to see Steven. The only person who knew was Judith's father. She told him all about it in a letter a month before she died. He didn't tell Philip until the morning you and he were to be married. He didn't want Philip ruining your life as well.'

She put a stricken hand to her face and her breath rattled harshly in her throat. 'Why didn't Philip tell me?' she whispered brokenly. 'Why did he leave me at the church waiting for him, wondering what went wrong? Why didn't he have the decency to tell me?'

David watched her, the lines of his face carved with compassion. 'Who can say why he chose to do it that way? He did tell your father, though, and look what it did to him. Maybe he was afraid it would kill you.'

Her head jerked back and all her breath left her and she began to shake. 'All this time Daddy knew? Oh David! He never told me!'

He took an involuntary step towards her, opening his arms wide. She kept looking at him, not daring to move or speak or breathe. Then somehow she was in his arms and he was crushing her to him. His hands were warmly running up and down her spine, stilling her shudders. Burying his face in the side of her neck, his voice was low, almost contemplative. 'In one way or another, Philip's life is entwined with ours: you loved him, he loved Judith, I love their son. I couldn't help but see the way you watched Steven. I was always afraid one day you'd see Philip in him and then I'd lose you.'

'Oh, David.' She clung to him, pressing herself to his length. 'Philip was never the problem. He wouldn't have come between us. I thought I had no right to love you because of Sharon. The smiles you shared— the soulful looks she gave you—you took her places ‑' she made them sound like accusations.

He leaned back a little and looked at her flaming face. 'I always asked you but you wouldn't come with us.' Then he chuckled softly. 'Were you jealous, my love?'

Hot tears sprang to her eyes and she buried her face in his chest. 'Insanely,' she whispered.

'Good.' His grin was self-satisfied as he tightened his arms around her, shaping her softness to the hard length of him. 'But you don't ever have to be jealous again. I want to marry you, Caroline. Not because I'm being forced into it but because I choose to make the most beautiful woman in the world mine. Will you marry me and make my life complete?'

'Oh, David!' she whispered fiercely, quivering, clinging to him. 'I already made one mistake. I thought I loved Philip but I was wrong. What if I find I don't really love you either?'

He squeezed her so tightly he nearly cut off her breathing. 'There are no guarantees but I'm willing to take a chance that what we have is something rare and very special. I've opened my heart to you. Won't you open yours to me? I promise I'll never hurt you. If you trust me, together we can find out what love is all about.'

She leaned back and looked at this tall blond giant of a man, feeling an indescribable something running between them, binding them together. It could have been desire but it was so much more than that. She knew she could trust him completely. That was the part she never wanted to admit before. Philip had destroyed her trust in men. She looked at David now and knew if he asked her, she would go to the ends of the earth for him, do anything he wanted, be everything he desired because he was who he was: a most tender, gentle, loving man.

'Yes, David.' She gave him a rosy, full-blown smile. 'Oh, yes! I want to marry you, to be your wife and Steven's mother.'

His expression had been apprehensive but it slowly cleared and he expelled a short breath and kept looking at her as if he couldn't believe she actually said yes. 'Oh, Caro. My Caro!'

The passion flaring between them was a palpable thing and with a stifled groan his mouth helplessly covered her lips, kissing her deeply, hungrily, restlessly, over and over again. His roaming hands moved on the softness of her body, following the curve of her back and spine and hips, making her tingle with pleasure in a hundred different places. 'I've wanted you forever,' he murmured into her mouth, 'and now you're mine!'

She arched herself into the hard strength of him, holding nothing back, wanting to give him everything with all her generous nature. Nothing else existed but this moment. The past was gone. All the lonely emptiness they both had known was replaced by a togetherness that would last a lifetime.

Later that morning they floated hand in hand to the village church where their family had gathered earlier on Grandy's assurance that his granddaughter wasn't a total ninny.

With a smug twisted smile, he watched Caroline and David walk down the middle aisle together and make their vows to love, honour and cherish each other for the rest of their lives.

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