ArtisticLicense 4 страница

It was a series of hills and valleys; he would bring me up to the brink of implosion and then gently ease me back again until I thought I would literally go mad.

But the next hill turned out to be the precipice he allowed me to leap from, swallowing my release as if it were something desirable. I have heard this state described in the French as le petit mort and I now truly understand what they meant. Climax reached by one's own hand does not even compare.

I came back to myself after spending some amount time in the outer stratosphere among the heavenly bodies. Mr. Wooster crawled up to me with a distinctly predatory air and kissed me again. I could taste a hint of the musky residue of what he'd just been doing. It was oddly exciting. I found myself clutching him almost desperately. A reminder that he had had no real enjoyment yet was pressed against my thigh.

A bolt of fear struck me then, I'd utterly lost my senses for a time while Mr. Wooster lavished his considerable attention on me. Was I now expected to reciprocate?

But Mr. Wooster made no such insistences, instead he resumed rubbing up against me in that most pleasurable way and kissing my neck. Feeling a bit bolder I let my hands explore the form on top of me, massaging and squeezing his perfect posterior. He mewled in my ear and his hips sped up their ancient motion.

" Let's- let's go back to New York tomorrow, Jeeves. " He breathed into my ear.

" V-Very good, sir. " I was unhappy with the hitch in my voice but my interest in the proceedings had increased much more quickly than I had anticipated.

Mr. Wooster reached between us, paused to give me several encouraging strokes, and freed himself from his own trousers. He then took to matters at hand with an intensity that had me lifting us both off of the seat involuntarily.

I realised some time later that every drop of moisture in the car had converted itself to steam from the duel efforts of our writhing bodies and the car's heater. The windows were all heavily fogged but I could see the growing darkness outside. In fact, I was only then made aware once more that there was a world outside of this car.

Mr. Wooster was sprawled across me, his shirt completely undone, pants lowered nearly to his knees. I was in no better shape. We were sticky and covered in sweat.

It was the most glorious state I could imagine.

XXXXX

Mr. Wooster shifted and I realised I was holding him against me quite tightly. I reluctantly released him, missing his solid warmth almost immediately. He grinned and kissed my nose before flinging himself over the seat.

This presented me with a very attractive view of his bare lower regions, I was so distracted by it that I missed him turning off the heater, then the engine. He rolled down a window in the front and I heard him shifting things in the glove compartment.

He hefted himself back over the seat with two cigarettes in his mouth and one of his engraved lighters. He lit both and held one out to me. I took it with fingers that were still trembling slightly. I hoped that he didn't notice.

XXXXX

There is nothing better than a good Turkish cigarette after engaging in amorous activities. I offered one to Jeeves; he doesn't often smoke so I was pleased that he accepted.

I was wondering several things in those quiet moments (I realise now that they were all rather ridiculous, but they say things like that about behindsight, don't they) I was wondering how I compared with Jeeves' other lovers, for one. I was always told at this particular activity I had no peers whatsoever.

But lovers say a lot of things, that doesn't make them true. I always thought Jeeves might be a bit more honest about it. If Wooster, B. had any room for improvement, Jeeves would certainly sort it out.

I was also wondering if he'd mind if I lay up against him again, and that at least I was bold enough to try.

" Shove me off if you want, Jeeves old thing. " I said lightly, sprawling back across his frame. And what a delicious frame it was, let me tell you. It had exactly the right mix of hard and soft and it was plenty large enough to accommodate me, and they make Woosters tall.

Jeeves did no shoving, on the contrary one strong arm came encircling once more. It was jolly cosy. If we weren't so sticky I'd almost never have wanted it to end.

We spent some time blowing smoke in the silence.

" I hope Rocky doesn't think we were both eaten by bears or something. " I remarked after a while, " Unless he's writing. In which case I doubt he's even noticed we'd gone. "

" I believe Mr. Todd was in his study when I left the house, sir. "

" Oh, please don't 'Sir' at me here, Jeeves. It makes me feel like I'm in one of those rummy German stories with- Never mind. " I flushed; Jeeves would certainly not want to hear about that. I hadn't wanted to hear about that. The things they get up to in the Drones Club, I swear.

" German stories, s-? " I heard him catch himself and smiled against his chest.

" You really don't want to know. Call me Bertie. Or Bertram. Or some soppy pet name. I'll answer to just about anything, you know me. Just 'sir' officially has connotations… is that the word I want, Jeeves? "

When he nodded, I continued, " Has connotations ever since Oofy Prosser brought in these German magazines… It was enlightening stuff, anyway. Not quite my cup of tea, though. "

" Am I correct in assuming these… magazines involved women? "

" Oh! Yes, of course. Not everyone in the Drones is like me, of course. Yes, women and, well, there was a lot of chappies being tied up and caned and that sort of thing. "

" S-Bertram, " I shivered suddenly at his use of my first name. Something about it thrilled me, " When you say 'not everyone at the Drones' is that implying that some are? Like you, as it were? "

Of course, he would latch onto that bit. Jeeves doesn't miss a tick.

" Well, a few are like me. A few sort of go both ways. Did you want names? You wouldn't be putting in that club book of yours, would you? "

" No, certainly not, s- Bertram. I merely wish to ascertain which of your friends I happen to be competing with. "

This rather threw me for a loop, as you may imagine.

" Competing? You aren't competing with anyone, Jeeves! You are in a class by yourself! "

" Then am I to assume that I will be your only… paramour in the immediate future? "

" Of course! Jeeves, what do you take me for? I'll admit I've bedded my share of fellows but I'm certainly not a… scarlet man! Is that even the right word? " I paused my impassioned self-defense.

" Anyway, I've had former flames and I'm sure you have as well so they have no bearing whatsoever on the here and now do they? " I asked, looking up to search his gaze.

" Of course, I apologize, s-Bertram. I meant no offense, I find myself feeling rather possessive of you. "

I smiled, " I feel the same way for you, love. Anyway, if you want a list: Rupert Huxley, Bingo Little, Ginger Winship, Rupert Smith, Michael Hawkins, Rocky Todd, and you. One I haven't seen since he left Eton in our fourth year and two…" My throat closed up suddenly, " Two of them are dead. "

" I'm sorry, s-Bertram. " His arms tightened around me and I felt the pressing weight on my chest ease.

" It was a long time ago, now. Anyway, there you have it. As far as I know Bingo Little hasn't even glanced at another man since Eton and Ginger is firmly set on marrying and forgetting what he actually wants. Rocky is really the only one remotely recent and I've already told him where I stand and who I want. "

XXXXX

When he called me 'love' I nearly stopped breathing.

Mr. Wooster's bold listing of former lovers made my heart pound, but as he didn't seem to be expecting a list from me I managed to calm it. Indubitably I could make up such a list if need be, but that would actually be a lie. So far I had managed lying only by omission. Taking the next step seemed much worse.

When he told me two them had died I felt rather ashamed of my earlier censure, I had been beginning to wonder about Mr. Wooster's ability to be monogamous. From what I experienced earlier, he possessed a great deal of skill in the bedroom. I realised now this did not necessarily mean he'd had a great many lovers, but rather he'd spent a great deal of time with lovers he'd had.

I wanted to ask about the two who had died, but the catch in his voice let me know how much such a conversation would upset him. There were other ways of finding these things out, after all, and Mr- Bertram need not know about any of it.

" Anyway, Lord knows I'm in love with you, Jeeves! Do you really think I could even look at anyone else? " He raised himself up to look at me and my eyes began to sting.

It has been a great while since I have wept but it was a very near thing just then.

When I was sure my voice would remain steady I asked him to repeat what he had said, I needed to hear those words.

" What? That I love you? You must know that, Jeeves! Though how you manage to walk down the street without people flinging themselves in your path and saying the same, I'll never know. " He gazed at me and seeing something in my eyes repeated, " I love you. "

XXXXX

I wasn't really expecting to hear him say anything back. In truth, I was kind of worried that I was overstepping myself and blurting out words he didn't want to here at all.

I mean to say, who would blame him? Bertram Wilberforce is gifted between the sheets but there aren't many who consider him much good for anything else. Lust and love are two different things.

But then he asked me to repeat it and there was something behind his eyes… I just threw all caution to the wind, as it were.

" I love you, too. I love you very much. "

And suddenly everything got a great deal brighter, I threw myself back down on him and kissed him soundly. I'd noticed earlier his kissing style was a bit odd, but now he'd obviously changed it to suit me so it was bally fantastic.

Everything was copasetic until I remembered Rocky again. I owed him a conversation and the guilt made me break away. Part of me wanted to biff off to New York this very night without a word. But the Code of the Woosters is firm on these things.

" I have to tell Rocky. " I said finally.

Jeeves raised one perfect eyebrow, " Yes, s-Bertram. "

I had to smile then as I wondered if he'd ever be able to do that without correcting himself. Then I promptly decided I didn't care. He could call me Sibertram forever if he liked.

XXXXX

When Mr-Bertram mentioned telling Mr. Todd I was both nervous and pleased. Nervous because it could leave us open to blackmail, though Mr. Todd hardly had a leg to stand on in that case. Pleased because it would now be quite clear to whom Bertram Wooster belonged.

I'm ashamed to say I did not feel any sympathy for Mr. Todd, fortunately Bertram felt enough for the both of us.

I was especially irked about the matter of the poetry. Mr. Todd sells his wares and clearly designs them specifically for that purpose. But he is a talented young man and expresses himself well. The unpublished poetry was probably quite good.

And all about a man who was now my lover.

Admittedly, if the poems had not succeeded in securing Bertram's heart by now, they were unlikely to but I wanted to take no chances. I wanted the lines and boundaries drawn and clear.

XXXXX

We came in as quietly as possible, separating to bathe and change clothes for dinner. That was hard going, let me tell you. I wanted to drag Jeeves in with me and make good use of the bed, but a preuxchavelier does not engage in amorous acts with a new lover under the old lover's very roof, now does he? No, he certainly does not.

Rocky was still shut in his study so I knocked at the door. I could hear Jeeves below us preparing dinner, my stomach made itself known. You burn quite a few calories in the backseat of a Studebaker.

I heard a sulky mutter and opened the door. Rocky was sprawled on the chaise lounge like someone dying of tuberculosis in a French novel. His arm was thrown over his brow, obscuring his features. Although I assume they were sufficiently tortured.

" Go away, Bertie. Haven't you done enough? Casting me aside to drive off with your valet… and you can't even have him! I just don't understand it! "

Now that was the crux of the matter. If 'crux' is the word I mean. I'll ask Jeeves later.

" Well, now. About that actually…" I bit my lip; there was really no good way to phrase this.

The arm came down with a thump and he glared at me, " Don't tell me! Don't tell me! "

" Alright! " I started to back out of the room.

" Bertie, don't you dare leave! Get back in here and tell me what happened! "

" But you just said…"

" I don't care what I just said! Banish my last words from your mind! What happened? "

I edged in carefully and sat down on the end of the lounge, I took it as a good sign that he scrunched up a bit and made room, " Well, it turns out that Jeeves is a like us. Spiffing, what? "

You've heard the phrase 'if looks could kill', haven't you? Good. Though thankfully they can't, as it turns out, still Rocky gave it the old college try.

" Oh, yes. Spiffing. That's exactly what I'd call it. "

I shrewdly detected a note of sarcasm here.

" I'm sorry, Rocky old thing. You know we never worked, did we? That wasn't my fault or your fault. We're just too different. "

" Oh, and you and Jeeves are just two peas in a pod? "

" No, but we can both live in the same clime and all that. "

" So this is all about the fact that I won't come to New York and be a part of that filthy, degenerate rat race? Because I'll go! I'll go right now and live there with you! "

" And then you'd be miserable! And I'd be miserable here! We've tried this before, haven't we? We've played this tune a half dozen times and it's still off key. "

" I can think of ways we aren't off key. "

" Well, there's more to it than that. You'll find someone else, Rocky. Someone much better than me. "

" There is no one better than you! " He shouted that and made me jump.

I shook my head, " You've been in this place too long. You've forgotten what the rest of the human race is like. I'm what they call a 'wastrel' and a 'blot on the landscape'. I have no redeeming features at all! There are millions of coves better than me; you just need to meet one. "

" You just don't get it, do you? " He shook his head at me and I was alarmed to see his eyes were suspiciously bright.

" No, but I never do. See above about 'no redeeming features'. The Wooster intellect is severely lacking. I never get it. This is why you need to find someone better. " I put a supportive hand on his shoulder.

He just looked incredibly sad, " Bertie, that's not it at all. "

I drew him into a hug and he gripped me with an almost painful intensity. I was a bit worried about the old ribs, to tell you the truth.

" I'm going to miss the way you smell. " He said suddenly.

Which I thought a bit strange, I wasn't even wearing my usual spritz of that cologne I picked up in Cannes. I took a sniff of Rocky to see if the same was true. He smelled of books and coffee like always.

" And the way you…" He said some extremely dirty things just then. Americans are like that sometimes.

" Rocky! "

" Well, I will! "

" It isn't like you're never going to see me again! I'm sure Jeeves won't mind if you… sniff me. The other is completely out, though! I imagine he'd have some things to say about that. "

I felt him sigh and he kissed my neck once before pulling back and wiping his eyes.

" Yes, I'm sure he will. "

" We're still good friends, aren't we? " I asked, actually starting to wonder now.

" Of course, you'll always be my friend, Bertie. "

I wished suddenly that there were two of me. And one despised the metrop the same way Rocky did and wasn't in love with Jeeves. It didn't seem fair at all, did it?

But even I learned that life was not fair a long time ago.

XXXXX

I paused while stirring the sauce, paying careful attention to what was going on above me. Their words were clear enough; I was a little more concerned about their actions.

I trusted Bertram, naturally. Mr. Todd was another matter.

Listening to the conversation did invoke a small amount of sympathy on my part, I don't, after all, possess a heart of stone. I could put myself in Mr. Todd's place.

The idea of losing Bertram was unfathomable. I know logically that I would survive it as no emotional blow can actually take a life. But I don't think I would want to, especially now that I had him in the way I had always wished.

Several of Mr. Todd's remarks were particularly poignant and it was clear Bertram did not completely understand the meaning behind them. For that I was grateful because with his natural compassion it would cause him no end of distress.

That Mr. Todd also made note of his smell surprised me, the poet was both more observant and more attached then I originally thought.

Dinner was finished and I toyed with the idea of knocking on the study door. Both parties were aware now that I knew the exact nature of their conversation, even if they didn't know I could hear every word. This could produce certain awkwardness in any situation.

Regardless, we were all going to be in the same room sooner or later. Unless Mr. Todd continued to avoid us until we left the next morning. As much as such a circumstance could be desired, my hopes were dashed when both men descended the stairs.

It was clear Bertram thought everything had been aired and was now 'copasetic' as he would put it.

But every time his eyes were diverted, Mr. Todd glared at me in a way that suggested my impalement on the serving fork would suit him completely. And then he would very much enjoy dancing upon my grave.

I gritted my teeth and made my gaze as cold as I possibly could. I owed him a certain amount of respect as he was Bertram's friend, but short of vague verbal acknowledgment he was getting nothing else from me.

Bertram had insisted I join them but I honestly can't recall what the food tasted like and I doubt Mr. Todd could either.

Neither of us was good for much in the line of conversation as we were occupied with our private battle of wills, fortunately Bertram has never faltered in the art of chatter and most often requires no response from the listener.

" And the Irishman says, 'I'll do it for my country! ' and he stabbed the Englishman! "

Mr. Todd cut into his chicken savagely with knife and fork, glowering at me the entire time, " Very funny, Bertie. "

" Most amusing, sir. "

Bertram chuckled and took a sip of wine, " I thought so, too. Did you hear the one about the vicar and the chorus girl? "

" No, sir. "

" Why don't you tell us, Bertie? "

I speared a cherry tomato, letting the juice splatter onto the plate. I was imagining rather violent things, it was most cathartic.

XXXXX

I excused myself to clear the table and wash the dishes. I lifted the plate from Mr. Todd's place with particular care, using it as an excuse to make further threats using only the power of my gaze.

His right eye twitched and I could see the muscles tense in the line of his jaw.

Bertram merrily suggested we all play a game of cards.

Mr. Todd muttered something about being worn out and retired, despite the fact that it was only seven o'clock. And he had in fact slept until nearly one thirty that afternoon.

Apparently being conscious for more than six hours was a strain.

Bertram followed me into the kitchen and watched me do the washing up while perched on the counter smoking, " Do you think Rocky's alright, Jeeves? He was upset earlier. "

" I'm sure Mr. Todd will recover, s-Bertram. "

" Yes, he seemed alright at dinner. He's probably just tired. "

Naturally, lying about and attempting to assault one's friends would exhaust anyone.

" Of course, sir. Bertram. I apologize; I'm finding it difficult to adjust. Perhaps it's for the best. We are going to need to maintain appearances once we return to the city. "

" Don't worry, Jeeves. We can handle it. Do you want me to call you by your first name? I just realised I don't even know it! "

" It is Reginald, s- Bertram. And no, I'd rather you didn't. I've never been particularly fond of it and inevitably you would use a diminutive that I would find even less palatable. "

I then was treated to the amusing sight of Bertram attempting to absorb the new information. He made a face and mouthed 'Reginald' in an incredulous way. His nose was still delightfully wrinkled when he turned back to me.

" Well, you know best, I suppose. You don't like 'Reggie', then? "

I made no effort to keep the disgust I have for that particular sobriquet off of my face, " No, sir. Bertram. I do not. "

" I like 'Jeeves' better anyway. It suits you. "

I allowed the smile, " Thank you, Bertram. "

XXXXX

When Jeeves finished the washing up, we settled into the sitting room with our freshly bought books. I really would rather have been getting up to something else, but the Code of the Woosters was firm.

After awhile, Mr. Grey's story carried me away and I finally remarked to Jeeves that we should take a trip to the west, after I finished a particularly riveting chapter.

" Perhaps, s- Bertram. Louisiana and Florida might be of more interest. "

I raised an eyebrow (I learned this from Jeeves, it does take practice, though), " That wouldn't have anything to do with the fishing in those parts, would it, Jeeves? "

I can be as clever as the next chap sometimes.

" Admittedly, yes the fishing is excellent. But the southern states also offer the benefit of a warm climate, boating opportunities, unusual foods, and a different culture. "

Well, you can't argue with logic like that. Besides, if it would make him happy what was stopping us?

" You're right, Jeeves. We should pop down there sometime soon. "

" I'll make the arrangements when we return, s-. Perhaps if I simply omit the 'sir' from my speech when we are alone? "

XXXXX

The Swan of Avon wrote in Romeo and Juliet, 'Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow. '

I'd never really understood that speech until my own Romeo was going to his own bed and I to mine. Such lamenting is truly appalling considering that it would only be for a single night, but it seemed nearly unbearable.

Sweet sorrow, an oxymoron implying the kind of masochistic agony that separation brings. Anything and everything involving him was sweet, being apart was a sorrow measured in the volume of oceans.

I tried to content myself with the fact that the very next day I would have him all to myself in the apartment. Of course, this also brought with it the performance anxiety I had managed to forget.

I had an idea of what might be expected of me. It was not a comforting one.

I tried to run various scenarios through my mind in an effort to achieve some sort of blasé attitude to the entire thing. If I behaved like I knew what I was doing, Bertram would not suspect otherwise.

If had only managed to pay closer attention in the car I might at least be able to fake my way through at least one sexual act. Unfortunately the very nature of that act rather discourages one from any kind of concentration.

All I could say is that my dear Bertram is incredibly good at it. And try very hard not to think about how he managed to get that way.

Thinking about these things made being separated rather more difficult as one has certain physical reactions to memory and fantasy. I found myself glaring idiotically at the wall that kept us apart. It glared back as if mocking me with its opaqueness.

I finally fell asleep sometime after midnight, but it was not a peaceful rest.

XXXXX

I woke Rocky to say goodbye before we left, Jeeves was packing up the car.

I sat on the edge of his bed and gave him a few shakes. This had no discernible reaction.

So I called his name a few times. A loud snore was my answer.

I'm a fairly heavy sleeper, but I am absolutely nothing compared to our friend the poet.

I was almost tempted to wake him the way I used to, it had always worked after all. But it would be rather a tease, wouldn't it?

I finally blew in his ear and nearly got swatted for my trouble.

He sat up looking rather grouchy, " You're off, are you? "

" Rather. Don't I get a hug? " I gave him my best pleading expression and held out my arms.

It worked, but then it always did.

He laid his head on my shoulder, " If you ever get sick of that Jeeves… mind you, I don't see what you see in him in the first place…"

" Rocky! Jeeves is-"

He sighed, " I know, lots of things. All sorts of things you want. "

" Precisely. I really am sorry, old chap. "

" I know you are. I'm glad you came anyway. I missed you, you know? "

I didn't know actually, but it was nice to hear. I don't think anyone's ever said they missed me before. Most people of my acquaintance can't wait to get rid of me.

" Come visit me in New York some time soon. " I offered as he let me go and kissed my cheek.

" Oh, I'm sure I will sometime. You'd better get a move on, that Jeeves doesn't seem like he wants to be kept waiting. "

As I left the room, I turned as I closed the door to see him face down on the bed. His shoulders were moving suspiciously and I paused in the hall.

Surely he couldn't have been that upset?

It was a dispirited Bertram that descended the stairs. It was very difficult to be happy when a member of one's nearest and dearest was not.

" Are you ready to depart? "

Jeeves stood in the doorway, wreathed in sunlight and looking majestic and calm as usual.

" That's life, isn't it, Jeeves? " I asked suddenly inspired, " Sunlight and shadow. You can't ever seem to have one without the other. "

" Very profound, s-Bertram. Your own? "

" I think so, " I put on my hat and attempted a smile. It wasn't as painful as I'd thought it would be, " Let's be off, then.

XXXXX

Most of the drive back to the city had Bertram explaining the plot of the book he was reading to me. This is a frequent occurrence but previously had involved mystery novels almost exclusively.

On one hand I was pleased he was branching out from his favourite genre, on the other I wasn't entirely sure these new 'Westerns' were an improvement.

" And then everyone stares at him when he comes into town because he's a stranger and they don't like his kind in those parts. And then he's trying to have a drink in peace and this large man with a scar on his face picks a fight.

And the whole town lives in fear of this cattle rustling gang- Jeeves, what's 'cattle rustling'? "

" I would imagine it to be some kind of theft, most likely of cattle. "

" That makes sense. Anyway, he has this mysterious dark past he's running from but every time he tries to get away from gun slinging and fights and such, they pull him right back in.

And the town Sheriff is crooked and in league with the nasty cattle rustlers. And finally there's going to be something called 'a reckoning'. Jeeves, what's a reckoning? "

" I would imagine it to be some sort of act of vengeance or retribution on the part of the aggrieved party towards these 'cattle rustlers' and quite possibly the corrupt sheriff, s- Bertram. "

" That makes sense. Anyway, it's an awfully exciting read. Do you want to read it when I'm finished? "

I tempered my smile, " No, I think I will be satisfied by your excellent synopsis. "

Well, at least he was less likely to have nightmares about these Westerns. Some of the mystery stories, however, caused a few sleepless nights. I'd taken to reading them before hand and hiding the ones I knew might cause him some upset.

XXXXX

When we arrived back at the flat, Jeeves began unpacking and setting everything to rights. I sort of watched him incredulously for a few minutes.

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