ArtisticLicense 3 страница

He had heard the song a single time, the night previous, no doubt while consuming a reasonable amount of alcohol, and he could reproduce it with apparently effortless ease.

Something like that could actually be described as a kind of genius.

He has wit and a linguistic fluidity that I admire greatly, it is unappreciated in the world at large but that only increases its value in my eyes.

Others may argue he is lacking in what is usually called common sense, but I would ask them to speak with just about any of his friends. In doing so you would discover that for his age group and peerage, Mr. Wooster is actually the epitome of reason.

I suppose I would term what he has as uncommon sense. I've seen him find the bright side of just about everything. I've heard him describe things in ways I never would have imagined. I've heard him make observations that honestly are frightfully apt.

No, Mr. Wooster does not lack for intelligence at all. He is merely in a world that doesn't understand him. Although, he does find a kinship here in the artistic sect. Washington Square is one of his favourite places in New York and he has many, many friends there.

And as clearly illustrated by the exhibition we had just been to, they appreciate him and understand him much better.

And that thought brought me to Rockmetteller Todd.

I'll admit I had some very dark thoughts about our host just then. If I'd had any inkling of what he was after, Mr. Wooster would have never come here alone. I would have found a way to resolve the matter of Lord Pershore much more quickly.

I very idea of his hands (probably filthy considering his kitchen) on my beloved Mr. Wooster… it doesn't bear thinking about. I glanced at the clock to discover it frozen at a quarter past eleven. I pulled out my pocket watch, there, it was after two o'clock and he still hadn't dressed! Not a suitable mate for my employer by any means.

Something needed to be done. I was certain of the outcome I desired but not how to bring it about. I was out of my depth of experience.

If there is one thing Mr. Wooster does not have it is the ability to deal with the unusual situation, which is really very distressing because he finds himself in them so very often.

I have always prided myself on how well I could think on my feet, on how quickly I could solve even the most convoluted of circumstances. The fact that I felt lost and foolish when it mattered the very most alarmed me.

XXXXX

" I am aren't I? " I replied after a lengthy silence. Rocky and I have always had long silences.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye to see him shake his head with a sad sort of smile, " It will make a wonderful narrative poem if I can word it just right. It could be the next 'Highwayman'! "

" Stop bally well writing poetry about me! " I retorted, " It really doesn't help me when you arrange my problems into verse. "

" But that one I wrote when we-"

" I read it! I know! Please stop talking about it and for God's sake don't publish it, it's practically obscene! " It really was, too. There were a lot of fluids described… and certain parts were praised very highly. Which is nice to hear from a lover, I suppose, just not so nice when you think of the public also hearing it.

" I could call it 'The Secret Sorrow of the English Songbird! "

I lifted a throw cushion threateningly, " You are asking for a visit from the Smack Fairy. "

This made him lose his composure completely and he dissolved into laughter, I had no choice but to follow. It felt very good actually, I hadn'trealised I was as tense as a piano wire.

" There once was a young man named Bertie…"

" I'm going to hurt you, Rocky, I mean it! "

" Whose thoughts were incredibly dirty…"

" That's it! "

" Perverted and naughty, also a bit mad and dotty…"

" That's the absolute limit, Todd! "

" He shouldn't be allowed out 'til he's thirty! "

I pulled out the secret weapon: my knowledge of how ticklish his sides were.

" Gah! No! Stop! Please! I'll do anything! "

I sat back and gazed down at him with a certain smug satisfaction. Then I realisedI'd actually ended up straddling him. There was a frozen moment where we just sort of looked at each other and I felt my face heat.

I heard something on the stairs and I shot off him as though compelled to by several sticks of dynamite set off beneath the posterior. Jeeves!

There was a polite knock at the door. Servants never knock within their own households but he probably considered it prudent in Rocky's as Rocky certainly wouldn't be used to it.

I voiced a hoarse 'come in' and in he came.

" Pardon me for interrupting, sir. A trip to the market is necessary and I was wondering if you wished to accompany me. You remarked about the lack of reading material on the drive down and I thought there might be a book shop in town. "

As it happens it is a long way into town, and though I was entertained at the moment I knew by tomorrow I would be kicking myself if I had nothing to do. Rocky kept trying to catch my eye. I knew he wanted me to stay while Jeeves went off to do the shopping.

A small… well, not so small part of me wanted to stay as well. But if I did I'd have no excuse at all and what would happen would happen. And then I'd feel as though I hadn't been faithful.
It didn't really make any sense to anyone but me. But it just wasn't worth it.

" Yes, Jeeves, I'll think I will tag along. We'll see you in a few hours, Rocky. "

XXXXX

When we finally came to the main road (although it didn't resemble anything more than a slightly wider dirt path) I began to put my plan in motion. The first item to be dealt with was Mr. Wooster's misapprehension about the exhibit. It needed to be addressed by the most delicate means possible, as he was obviously sensitive about it.

" Sir, are you going to allot time for Mr. Corcoran in your schedule when we return to the city? " I inquired in a tone of complete innocence. From the corner of my eye I could see him goggling at me.

" Make time? What, to kill him and dispose of the body, you mean? "

Over the years I'd mastered the art of hiding any semblance of a smile from my visage, and in no other position had I more use for it than Mr. Wooster's employment, " Sir? Did you not like his rendering of your form? I thought the entire display to very well done. "

There was complete silence from the other side of the car.

" You thought it was funny, too, then. "

I had to strain to hear it and the defeat in his voice made any amusement I had felt vanish, " Funny, sir? I'm sorry, I don't understand. I don't think any of the paintings were done in jest. "

There was another silence.

" But- I mean to say- Corky's- You mean it wasn't a wheeze? "

I affected surprise, going as far as to raise both eyebrows and take my eyes off the road to regard him, " No, sir. I don't believe it was ever Mr. Corcoran's intention to make sport of you. The portraits, though candid and often whimsical, were professionally done and with no mean skill. "

I watched him absorb this in my peripheral vision.

" Are you sure, Jeeves? " He asked finally.

" Quite, sir, am I correct in assuming Mr. Corcoran did not inform you of his intentions to sell your image? If so I would imagine you would be entitled to a portion of the proceeds. "

And predictably he replied, " Oh, I don't want his money. I… I'm glad he's doing well, I suppose. "

" Yes, I had heard each piece went for a substantial sum. What is possibly more important, however, is his now established reputation in the artistic community. His work will now be held in high esteem and be much sought after. "

" All because he painted me? I don't understand very much about art, Jeeves, but doesn't that seem a bit rummy to you? "

" Have you ever heard of the concept of a muse, sir? " I asked, knowing I was on thin conversational ice. It would be very easy to say too much and fall through. I glanced over at him and my heart skipped a beat when he cocked his head and looked back at me with big blue eyes, full of both trust and confusion.

" Those Greek beazels? Calliope and… no, that's the only one I remember. What do they have to do with Corky? Is he Greek? I thought he was Irish. "

" Indubitably you recall Calliope best because she was the mother of Orpheus. "

" Yes! That's the bird! He went into Hades after his girl but I don't think it ended well. "

My employer has a gift for understatement, " Indeed not, sir. However, the term 'muse' has come to mean 'one who inspires'. I believe you served this function for Mr. Corcoran. "

There was a pause, " So I helped, then? "

" Indeed, sir. "

I could practically follow the lines of his thoughts then, he was most likely thinking of all the times he'd tried to help his friends and had not been successful.

" You know, I think I will make some time for those other pictures when we go back to New York, " he said finally, " Except, I want all my clothes to stay on this time. "

" Indeed, sir. " I replied with feeling.

XXXXX

Everything in the world of Wooster, B. was oojah-cum-spiff when we arrived in town. Ever since Jeeves had explained that Corky hadn't been having a jolly laugh at my expense, all was right with the world.

I tagged along when Jeeves went to market, I'd never been before and it seemed like a new adventure. Jeeves didn't quite smile, but then he never really does.

He produced a list from somewhere and we entered the first shop.

" Let's get coffee as well as tea, Jeeves. Rocky likes it and it can't be more than… what? Ten dollars? " I suggested looking at the list over his shoulder.

There was a strange note in his voice when he answered me, almost as if he were suppressing laughter. But that's impossible as Jeeves never laughs.

" I believe the price of coffee is forty-eight cents a pound at the moment. How much coffee did you plan on buying, sir? "

" How much does it take to make a pot? " I glanced up at him. His face was impassive as usual, despite the odd tone.

" I believe a pound would more than suffice. "

XXXXX

Marketing was certainly an interesting experience but I was glad when we finished and packed all our bounty into the boot of the car.

The book shop was a small but well stocked establishment. In fact, some of the shelves were so packed one had to brace oneself against something sturdy to remove the desired volume.

" You pick out some improving books for yourself, Jeeves, on me. It's only fair, I know country living isn't your idea of a vacation. " I offered, feeling a bit guilty for dragging him away from the metrop for what seemed like no good reason now.

" Thank you, sir. You are most generous. " And he shimmered off to the intimidating looking shelves that brainy coves favour.

The stuck to the popular fiction section and tried to dig up a new whodunit. I had spent a lot of time reading these at Corky's, though, so my search wasn't going well.

Then I stumbled across a pile of books by a cove named Zane Grey who seemed to have written an endless number about the American Old West. They looked dashed exciting, I picked up a short stack.

Staring at the bookshelves I remembered that a boy I had known very well (rather as well as I know Rocky, if you catch my drift) at Eton by the name of Smith had suggested I become a writer once. I thought he was having me on but he insisted that the story I had written for some class or other had real potential.

But I look at the Agatha Christies and Rex Wests of the world and boggle. How could I ever do that? I mean to say, they must be almost as clever as Jeeves! They come up with this detective sharp who can look at you and tell you what you have for breakfast, and there's a murder in a village somewhere and no one can figure out who did it, and then in the end it's the vicar or the groomsman or whoever you least suspected. And the murder is never your run of the mill stabbing, it's always some Brazilian spider poison or a dagger made out of ice.

No, I could never be a writer.

Come to think of it, when I wrote that boy, after he left Eton I mean, he'd changed his name a bit. How did it go? Smithy maybe? No, Shmith? Oh, never mind.

Jeeves appeared next to me politely holding two books, as though I might want to inspect them.

" Is that all, Jeeves? Have you read ever other book here? " I wouldn't be surprised if he had.

" No, sir, I didn't want to take advantage of your generous nature. "

" By all means, Jeeves, take advantage of me. "

He paused for a few seconds and had the rummiest look on his face, " Thank you, sir. Perhaps I will find one more. "

XXXXX

It was tea time when we arrived back at Rocky's; we'd stopped at the bakery so Jeeves had a spread in very short order.

Rocky himself was still sulking a bit, but he certainly didn't turn down the é clairs.

Afterward, he biffed off upstairs to write and Jeeves started dusting the sitting room. I decided to get out of the way and took a walk down by the lake.

It was warm for April, even approaching dusk as it was now. I saw all manner of wildlife including the loon family. I remembered what they were from 'A Child's Book of American Birds'. I'd paid to have the bally thing written and published so I felt justified in keeping my copy.

This made me think of Corky again, of course, and I felt the familiar sting of sympathy. It felt better than the sick sort of angry feelings I'd had for him just that morning.

I felt more than a bit foolish for having thought the worst of a chum. It's just that when you're Bertram W. Wooster, you end up being laughed at most of the time.

I came to the little dock Rocky had on the beach. There was a rowboat tied to it and it made a convenient seat. The rocking of the water was soothing and the sounds of frogs, crickets, and the loons made me feel welcome.

" Sir? "

I looked up, shielding my eyes a bit as the sun hadn't gone down yet. Jeeves, as lovely and impeccable as always, stood on the dock gazing down at me.

XXXXX

After testing him in such a way, I did feel a bit ashamed of myself for doubting the veracity of his professed affection for me. Mr. Wooster is many things, but insincere is certainly far from one of them.

The need for marketing had been merely a convenient excuse to remove myself from the house and offer him the option of available and easy sexual release or simple companionship. I honestly don't know what I would have done had he chosen to stay with Mr. Todd.

When he left for his walk I found myself gazing anxiously out the windows every few moments as I put the sitting room to rights. Not well acquainted with the area and by no means an experienced woodsman, Mr. Wooster could easily get lost or run afoul of a wild animal.

At last I could stand it no more and went in search of him, the vague excuse of the dinner menu would suffice. Though, it is doubtful that he would question my presence, or indeed care what I chose to prepare for evening repast.

I found him seated in a row boat tied to a small wharf, " Sir? "

" Jeeves! Have a seat, all that dusting takes a lot out of one, I'm sure. "

I availed myself of the bench across from him, " Thank you, sir. It is a very pleasant evening. "

" Fancy a row? It's been a few years but I think the old blood can be stirred up. "

I raised my eyebrows, the implication seemed to be that he would be the one propelling the small vessel, " I was not aware you engaged in that particular sport, sir, but I do believe a short trip would be most enjoyable. "

Mr. Wooster untied the rope and used an oar to push off. Within two strokes I could see him come into his own and I could also tell he must have been quite the champion once upon a time. Powerful, practiced motions carried us quickly across the water.

" We won every single year I competed at school, did you know that? " He asked me between breaths. I was so distracted by the surprising display of athletic prowess; it took me a few moments to absorb what he'd said.

" Indeed, sir? "

" Yes, 1910, 1911, 1912, and 1913. All went to Oxford. Jolly good fun, too. In 1912, both bally boats sank, if you can believe it! It was too rough and they had to start everything over. I had several blues, but my rowing blue was the one that really meant something. "

I had not realised he had been part of this proud English tradition. But then, I had noticed Boat Race night always precipitated a very high level of carousing. In fact, it had been the day after that I had first come into his employ and he had spent the previous evening in a jail cell after stealing a policeman's helmet. And last year he'd climbed the statue of Lord Nelson. Thankfully he hadn't been 'pinched', as he would put it, on that occasion.

Mr. Wooster does drink, but rarely to excess. Certain things can trigger a binge, however, and I now realised it was not merely the misfortune of one of his friends and consequent commiseration.

He slowed and stopped and I realisedwe'd come to the center of the lake.

XXXXX

Rowing always puts me in bally good mood, I had a feeling I was going to be a bit stiff tomorrow but I'd gladly pay my dues.

Being out here alone with Jeeves rather made up for a lot of sore shoulders, I should think.

My friends the loons were calling to one another and the breeze was soft and fragrant. It was absolutely perfect. You know how you get those moments every once in awhile? Like when the horse you bet your chemise on at Goodwood takes the lot, or you take the first bite of something chocolate and gooey?

It was like that.

As I passed my gaze over to the glorious sunset that the heavens were putting on, just for us I'd swear it, I thought someone should preserve it somehow, " See now, Jeeves, THAT'S the kind of thing Corky should have painted, something beautiful. "

When he didn't answer right away, I looked over at him to find him looking at me, " Jeeves? "

He blinked finally and looked at the setting sun, " In that wild throb when all existences, Seemed narrowed to one single ecstasy. "

I opened my mouth without even thinking, " Which dies through its own sweetness and the stress, Of too much pleasure, ere Persephone. "

It's not often I can finish one of Jeeves quotes which is why I actually took a few seconds to wonder why I could on this occasion.

And it hit me then, why I knew the poem and so very well.

Because it was Oscar Bloody Wilde! Jeeves had read Wilde?

That probably meant he wouldn't turn me in if he found out. This was the best news I'd had all year!

I turned to him again and found him looking at me intently. My heart dropped to the bottom of the lake. Had I just overplayed my hand? Jeeves knows I'm not the sharpest cove, he'd find it awfully odd that I'd know this poet so well, wouldn't he?

But if he read Wilde, surely he couldn't be all that disapproving? I mean, you should hear him on the subject of that German bird with all those silent letters in his name. You should never trust someone with that many silent letters.

I wonder what he'd do if I started in with some Whitman. If I just began reciting 'I Sing the Body Electric' or something. I realised suddenly how close we were, it wasn't a very big boat. Our knees were brushing together.

Then I wondered an absolutely insane wonderment. What if I just leaned forward right now and kissed him?

For a brief terrifying moment I thought I might actually do it. Like when you pass a policeman and just have a mad urge to do something illegal. No? Perhaps that's just me then.

It occurred to me then that we'd been sitting there staring at each other so long the sun was nearly down completely. I thought he was probably waiting for me to row us back to shore, he was just too polite to hurry the young master along.

But then I got a good look at his eyes in the fading light and there was something in them I'd seen before. Of course I'd seen it before; I'd seen it in the mirror after he had left the room.

I'd seen it in eyes looking at me before, eyes that wanted something.

And I was leaning forward before I'd had time to think better of it again.

XXXXX

It was ridiculous to be so shocked; I'd watched him lean forward, after all. But shock is what it was, the shock of contact, the shock of warmth, and the shock of his sheer courage and nerve.

Because I realise now I would have never had the ability to do what he did, to take that leap and cross the physical boundary.

Our lips were the only parts of us that were touching, but I felt this contact through my entire body. He skated the tip of his tongue along my lower lip and my mouth fell open for him to claim.

I'm afraid I don't recall very much beyond this point, I became lost in sensation and lost awareness of anything beyond his lips, his tongue, and my own. I have vague memories of making sounds that, at first, I thought came from Mr. Wooster.

Then he climbed onto my lap and there was glorious, glorious pressure and friction. I marvelled at the fact that I had gone through my entire life having never felt anything like this.

He was actually nibbling on my jaw, my neck, my ears and I was trying desperately to keep up, afraid he'd find me lacking.

Our lower halves had apparently gotten a bit too enthusiastic because this was the point that we overturned the boat.

I surfaced to Mr. Wooster bright, ringing laughter and had to smile myself despite the cold water. He flipped the vessel back over and swam after the oars, and then levered himself back in over the side with the ease of one whom had done this many times before.

Then he offered me a hand, I took it as I was uncertain whether or not I'd simply flip the boat again with my heavier weight. Mr. Wooster is stronger than he looks.

He kissed me again, for much shorter duration, as the breeze was now growing cooler. My ardour recovered itself in an incredibly short period of time.

And he began rowing us back to shore at easily three times the pace he had us moving at previous. I sat back and attempted regain my composure and come to terms with the sudden change in… the sudden change in absolutely everything.

XXXXX

When we came aport of the wharf, Mr. Wooster grabbed my hand to keep me from rising. As I was merely going to secure the rope, I was puzzled by his grip.

" We can't do anything in the house, Jeeves. " He said earnestly, " Rocky and I once had an understanding and it wouldn't be right to throw it in his face, what? "

Absolute honesty is what I've come to expect from my employer, but it still manages to startle me from time to time. I was pleased that he thought it right to tell me of his past dalliances, but also rather annoyed that more of the highly pleasurable activity we had indulged in on the lake could not resume until we returned to New York.

And very small part of me was slightly relieved. As of yet we had not done anything I hadn't done before with women. Admittedly, it was an entirely different experience with Mr. Wooster, but it hadn't yet threatened my position as the resident expert on every subject.

It is important to me to be held in some esteem by Mr. Wooster, as of that moment I had yet to disappoint him. My lack of knowledge and experience in sexual matters would most likely bring about that very result.

" Now, you'll notice I didn't say anything about the car. "

I blinked in confusion at his conspiratorial grin. It took me a few moments to ascertain what he had meant and my cheeks grew hot. Both for my slow comprehension and for the suggestion he had made, I felt no little embarrassment.

His grin softened then and he kissed me once more, a tantalizingly slow dance of lips and tongue. I realized then I would follow him anywhere he chose to lead me. Even down the Primrose Path, as it were. And I would do it all gladly.

He winked and climbed onto the dock with the soggy rope, leaving me to arise with shaky knees and racing thoughts. I was very aware of my heart beat; it seemed to be echoing across the valley.

As we approached the car, a Studebaker Big Six that, unlike our car in England, was enclosed and heated. I opened the passenger side door with nerveless fingers, I was breathing rather quickly already.

Mr. Wooster touched my arm and it was like an electric charge, I nearly jumped.

" The backseat is probably better, old thing. That gear shift is murder on the small of the back. " He was regarding me strangely, I know he wondering why I hadn't thought of that.

" Yes, sir. " I moved over to one of the back doors and slid inside, highly conscious of so many things that I marvelled at my own apparently limitless capacity.

Mr. Wooster started the car and turned on the heat. The sudden warmth made me finally realise how cold I had previously been.

And then he joined me in the backseat.

XXXXX

I'm not ashamed to say the idea of finally being with someone I had longed for rather made me less sharp than usual. And that is very dull indeed, isn't it?

If he had only told me then what I finally figured out later, I wouldn't have been moving at Kentucky Derby pace. But Jeeves insists he would not change a single thing so I suppose regrets are rather foolish, what?

I did notice he was sitting rather stiffly, and there was a bit more white of the eye visible than one would like in one's backseat companion. I just figured that Jeeves was simply one of those coves that take a bit to really relax with a new person. The aforementioned w. of the e. was perfectly understandable then. One doesn't know what an untested lover might do.

It's not like I hadn't had more than one nasty surprise on that front.

So I decided he needed to be put at ease and I knew just the trick.

It happens to be something I'm especially good at, a hidden talent if you want. I was pleased to finally show Jeeves the young master was good at something, as I'm sure he's had plenty of doubts over my usefulness in our days together.

I shucked off my sodden jumper and offered it to him, " Why don't you lay back on this? "

If I was going to do something, it was going to be done right. He took the jumper automatically but his gaze was devoid of understanding. That baffled me, let me tell you. I'd never seen Jeeves at a loss before.

I chalked it up to getting intimate with his employer and the havoc that must be wreaking on his feudal spirit. I gently pushed him down and tugged his lower half over. I briefly got distracted just then by his lovely, bowed lips and we spent a short duration continuing the sort of thing we'd been up to before the boat, or rather, the lake ruined the mood.

When I reminded myself of my task and pulled away he looked so absolutely debauched I had to pause and admire the effect. It took a minute for him to open his eyes again and they were very dark. A shiver went down my spine and with no small amount of smug satisfaction at having reduced him to this state, I descended towards my goal.

My goal was straining against the confines of wet valet's trousers. The Wooster digits were eager as they unbuttoned the buttons and otherwise removed the constricting fabric. I was treated to several gasps from Jeeves as I did this, and they caused me to glance up at observe him observing me closely.

XXXXX

His hands on my trouser fastenings made me tremble, whether it was fear or anticipation or a combination of both, I cannot say. I had been placed in a very passive role and I was more than willing to stay there.

What he truly intended to do didn't fully penetrate until he was on the brink of actually doing it. I had heard of such goings on, I had even witnessed them once walking into the bedroom of a former employer. But never had I associated the act with myself, somehow.

My flesh was heated with arousal and his hands were cool from the lake water. But his mouth was so hot it nearly burned. I arched off the seat and let out a sound I could have never guessed would ever emerge from my vocal cords.

I cannot describe this accurately because I don't believe I was lucid throughout the experience at all. All I knew was pleasure; there was nothing outside the sensation.

Mr. Wooster kept a firm grip on my hips after the initial bout of helpless thrusting on my part. He did allow it a few more times, though it made him sound a bit hoarse later that evening. His hands were by no means idle, they moved about my nether regions with a skill and enthusiasm that left me in awe.

⇐ Предыдущая 1 2 345 6 Следующая ⇒