CHAPTER FIVE

IT DIDN'T take him long to get the results of the DNA testing. In a way it had been an imperative irrefutable proof but he had known in his bones and his blood and his heart that Charlotte was his child. That enchanting little girl with her mother's heart-shaped face and her grandmother's iridescent eyes was the result of that one night he and Suzannah had surrendered to a passion that had grown too big for them both. It broke his heart now to think Suzannah had allowed Martin White to take his place, to raise his daughter as Martin's own.

Suzannah had a great deal to answer for. With the results of the testing on his desk he felt certain he couldn't forgive her. Six years of Charlotte's young life had gone. Six years he had missed. Six years he would yearn for for the rest of his life. He had left Ashbury telling Suzannah he would return once he had the proof he needed. Proof of paternity. Armed with this knowledge there were going to be big changes in all of their lives. This time he knew he wouldn't lose the battle.

When Adrienne all but barged into his office, smiling as she did so, Bebe behind her looking flushed, a little frantic with apology, he was holding the document in his hands. He let it fall, covering it partially with other papers. As Bebe conveyed with her mobile face, Adrienne had simply pushed her way in.

" Thank you, Bebe, " he smiled to reassure her.

" I need to see you, Nick. " Adrienne's voice had a cajoling pitch to it. " I'm sure B ebe guards you better than the secret service do the president. "

" That's my job, " Bebe said. Nothing could make her take to Nick's current lady friend. She was very glamorous, of course. Very sleek in her narrow tailored suit, her short chestnut hair like little licks of flame around her strongly modelled face, but Bebe found her a lot less than engaging. She was all over Nick, which might have had something to do with it, but Adrienne Alleman had little time to spare for her own sex or anyone who hadn't arrived in this world, Bebe thought.

As she retreated Adrienne came around Nick's desk and dropped a kiss on the high ridge of his cheek. " You haven't rung me for a week, " she said, pouting.

" I've been terribly busy, Adrienne, " he explained casually. " A program for Grantley Stables merchant bank. " Grantley, a friend of his, had taken over from his late father and was determined on making sweeping changes.

" I know how it is! " Adrienne sighed. " You work much too hard. " She touched a hand to his raven hair. " Can't we possibly have lunch? "

She leaned down and put her hand over his, thrilling to the sensation of skin on skin. Nick Konrads was the sexiest, the most exciting man she had ever known. And she had known quite a few. She was avid for him. For his time.

" Why not? " It would have been callous to say no. Callous not to wind her down gently. Give her an indication what he proposed to do with his life. He knew damned well it would hurt her. He was feeling sorry in advance, but he had been very careful not to make Adrienne any promises. They were friends. She knew he saw other women from time to time.

But never now. The flame that had burned so long, so blindly for Suzannah Sheffield endured, even though it scorched him with its heat.

" Wonderful! " Her face lit up with delighted relief. " I'm so pleased I came in now even if your Bebe was trying to chase me away, " she added archly.

" Not at all. " He stood up. " Bebe knows my workload better than anyone. I rely on her so much. "

" I'm sure, darling, " Adrienne said, glad beyond words Bebe Marshall was a plumb middle-aged frump.

" Speaking of which, there are a few things I must tell her, " Nick remembered. " Take a seat for a moment, Adrienne. I won't be long. "

Adrienne watched him walk out of his office in search of his secretary. How marvellous he looked in his clothes, so tall, broad shouldered, torso tapering to a trim waist and lean hips. How elegantly he dressed. She loved his expensive suits, the fine shirts, silk ties. The body of an athlete, a natural clothes horse. And without them! A miracle of male power and grace. Just thinking about him naked brought her out in a high heat.

As she went to move around the desk, her eyes quite inadvertently fell on some papers on his desk.

How extraordinary! She drew a deep breath, leaning forward swiftly, deliberately, to study a document tucked under a sheaf of papers. She recognised the name of the laboratory, saw the stamp Private & Confidential. It was about DNA testing, not unusual given Nick's business and the institutions he devised programs for, but she was certain they wouldn't be stamped that way. In some deep intuitive way she knew this piece of paper meant trouble. Once started she couldn't stop. She read through the document from start to finish, cold fear springing up like tendrils getting a grip on her heart. She couldn't lose Nick. Not now. That would be unbearable. She would never find anyone else remotely like him. So handsome, so brilliant, so rich. No one could hold a candle to Nick. Yet Nick Konrads had a child.

Adrienne guessed without an instant's hesitation who the mother might be.

Nick as good as confirmed it over lunch. Though it angered her greatly, Adrienne gave him the lead to reveal what was going on in his life. If Nick was going to turn his back on her, someone was going to be made to suffer.

" It's wonderful what we have together, " she told him, looking through her heavy lashes. " We enjoy each other's company. You're a glorious lover but somehow I've always had the feeling you won't trust me with your deepest confidence. " She kept her voice low, rich, sympathetic. " There was someone you didn't marry, Nick. Someone who hurt you dreadfully. Is it so hard for you to tell me? "

He smiled that magical smile everyone waited for. " We all have our little secrets, Adrienne. Things we keep locked away. " Just faintly he lifted his chiselled chin. A warning perhaps to keep off?

In an excess of jealousy, Adrienne decided to carry on. " That woman you were speaking to at the funeral. It was her husband, wasn't it? "

" Come on, Adrienne, " he said. " I thought we'd been over that. "

" You were in love with her, weren't you? Don't freeze me out, Nick. I promise you, I'm only trying to help. "

" I don't know that I need your help, Adrienne, " he said mildly, lifting his wineglass to his mouth.

" Everyone needs help, " she assured him in a caring voice. " I would miss you dreadfully, Nick, if you went out of my life but somehow I think that is about to happen. "

He felt deeply for her then. " I hope not. Isn't it possible for us to remain friends? There has never been any talk of marriage betweenn us, Adrienne. "

She made a small sound of regret. " I know that. But doesn't it strike you the longer we're together how right it seems? "

The moment couldn't be put off any longer. He leaned forward, taking her hand. " Adrienne, I never did mean to lead you on or waste your time. I enjoy your companionship. It's meant a lot. "

She couldn't help making a harsh, exasperated sound. " It was simply the sex, wasn't it, Nick? " Her jealous face said it all.

He shook his head emphatically. " More than that, Adrienne. There's no need to put yourself down. You're an attractive, intelligent experienced woman. You're worldly enough to take our affair in your stride. "

" Which presupposes I have no intention of remarrying? " she retorted, feeling an urgent desire to scream.

" I imagine you will. You have a lot to offer the right man. I'm so sorry if it hurts you, but I'm not that man, Adrienne. "

" Because you're in love with someone else? " she said emotionally. It was something she would have to deal with. " That young woman. She's the barrier. " She'd damn well check her out.

" It was a terribly sad funeral, wasn't it. " He looked away, a sombre expression on his striking face. " Sad to see a man die long before his prime. "

" How come you didn't marry her? " Adrienne wanted to return to her theme. " It's obvious to me now she's the one you wanted. "

" Do you really want to know? " His black gaze was ironic.

" Try me? "

" It's something I never talk about, Adrienne, " he said shaking his head. " It was a profoundly unhappy time in life. "

" So why did you go back? " She wasn't exactly sure she understood.

" Because, my dear, it's not over yet. "

Wasn't that as good as an admission? Adrienne thought. What she really needed was inside information and that could be gained for a price.

For days Suzannah agonised over telling her father the truth: Charley was Nick's child. She had known that all along. Before her pregnancy had been confirmed. That one time they had been together was simply too glorious, too full of the fever and intensity that produced life. Her father's and Martin's actions had cost them all dearly. She had thought to get help from Charlotte Konrads, a woman already seared by grief and the added torment of what had happened to her son. She should have told Charlotte of the sickness that wasn't going away. It seemed preposterous to her now but without a mother, no serene female relative to turn to, what was happening to her came as a kind of terror. That was Nick's baby growing inside of her and Nick had gone away. Never abusing her but grim and silent, refusing to meet her. There was no way, it seemed, that Charlotte Konrads had considered the young woman she had known from childhood was now pregnant to her son. Suzannah Sheffield had brought him enough trouble. Charlotte would not think of ever trusting her again. Suzannah, in her way, had been rejected.

So she married Martin. Indeed her father had propelled her into it so swiftly it was as though their lives depended on it. There was no way he could have known she was pregnant. She didn't tell a soul. She hadn't in fact even " shown" until her seventh month. By then Martin and her father had settled happily into waiting for the arrival of the Sheffield White heir. Her father had adored Charley from the moment she was put into his arms. Martin, very strangely, believing this perfect little girl to be his own had made no real connection with her in the deep nurturing way one would expect of a loving father. During her whole childhood he rarely played with Charley, seemingly unable to reach out to her or show his affection. Not that he was ever unkind or reprimanded her harshly. That in any case would never have been tolerated with Suzannah and Marcus Sheffield obviously doting on this sweet and beautiful child. It was as though Martin knew in his heart the child his wife lived for wasn't his. Just as he knew his suspicion was unspeakable. His own family lavished love on Charley, welcoming her visits. Far too many reasons for the truth ever to be known.

Then as now.

The shock of finding out might precipitate another stroke, Suzannah thought in agony now. There seemed no way she could share her burden. There was even a possibility her father might turn on Charley if he knew whose child she really was. Her father had a deadly habit of turning on people as he had turned on her own mother who had run away. Marcus Sheffield was a very bad loser.

These were Suzannah's thoughts as she rode her beautiful mare, Gypsy, through the cool rustling woods by the river. She loved this horse so much it quietened her mind just to be up on her back. Finally they were out from under the trees and she huddled over Gypsy's neck and let her do what she loved best. Gallop. The wind streamed past them, fragrant, sun polished, offering little resistance to horse and rider. Once a long, low branch whipped Suzannah's back but nothing could detract from the matchless pleasure of streaking across the gilded grasslands. Gypsy's flying hooves kicked up tussocks decorated with a crush of wild flowers. There was nothing the mare wouldn't do for her. Take fences with soaring leaps, obey her every command. Gypsy was a great horse. There was no way she could sell her, though a few people knowing their reduced circumstances had made substantial offers. She would sell every piece of jewellery she possessed before she would part with that mare. The Schroeders, good people that they were, were keeping Gypsy on their farm, putting her out to soft spring pasture, refusing all payment.

" You looked out for us. Now it's our turn to look out for you, " Mrs. Schroeder had told her quietly. Suzannah truly didn't know what she had done, not realising the warmth and friendliness of her manner all through the years. The Easter and Christmas gifts she arranged compensated for Marcus Sheffield's patronising attitude with everyone in his employ. Many people in the town weren't that unhappy when Marcus Sheffield " came a cropper". He was too much the snob, too highhanded in his dealings. Suzannah was different. Brimming through with the joy of life. Until her marriage when she seemed to quiet down, the old vitality dimmed. It was pretty much evident to most people that her father had pushed her into marriage with one of their own kind. A devil's bargain when the young Nick Konrads had disappeared from the town overnight. No one knew, as yet, he was the new owner of Bellemont, but gossip fairly crackled since he had been spotted at Martin White's funeral, then a short time later talking to Suzannah and her little girl outside Charlotte's school. Hans Schroeder, never slow-witted, had his own theories, which he discussed with his wife. In his opinion Nick Konrads, a clever young man Hans had admired openly, treated so badly by Marcus Sheffield, had returned like an avenging angel. It wasn't an extravagant fancy, either.

Adrienne wasted no time putting a private investigator to work. It took two days for the investigator, a woman, to come up with a great deal of information. All through their high school days and later when they were at university, Suzannah Sheffield and Nick Konrads had been inseparable. Suzannah and Nick was the way it went. Most people doubted Suzannah's father was happy about it, but the whole town felt marriage between the two of them was inevitable at some stage. Everyone knew as well that Martin White was in love with Suzannah. Martin, too, was a part of her life, always running whenever she beckoned. They had grown even closer after Suzannah had returned home leaving Nick Konrads still studying in Sydney. Not that Suzannah had ever really turned to Martin. It was simply that he and his sisters were her close childhood friends. There was a strange episode shortly after Nick Konrads returned to town after gaining a brilliant degree. In his absence battle lines had been drawn. Marcus Sheffield and his hand-picked prospective son-in-law, Martin, on one side, the migrant boy made good on the other. An old friend of Suzannah's through high school told the investigator Suzannah was often in tears about the complete alienation between her father and Nick. She said once in a moment of despair her father was " running her life". Very few people had been coerced to speak. The whole story came tumbling out as though people were anxious to get the story straight in their own minds. The town had never forgotten Nick Konrads's strange disappearance, then shortly afterwards Suzannah Sheffield's marriage to Martin White. That was the part that really mystified everyone. The whole town knew she had given her heart to Nick. He had never been an ordinary sort of boy or young man. No one was surprised when he became so marvellously successful in a highly competitive world. They were proud. The investigator found out a great deal without arousing too many suspicions. That came later. She heard about the enormous party Marcus Sheffield threw to celebrate the birth of his first grandchild, Charlotte Marie-Louise Sheffield White. She heard about Martin White's tragic death. Adrienne pored over the dossier, absorbed in it totally. Afterwards it seemed to her the best person to act as catalyst would be the father. Marcus Sheffield had hated Nick once. God knows how he would react when he found out Nick Konrads and not Martin had fathered his grandchild. It meant nothing to Adrienne that Marcus Sheffield was ill. Her agenda was to create as much trouble as she could.

Less than a week later Marcus Sheffield walked down to the letter box to collect the morning's mail. Suzannah, who usually did it, had gone into town to do some shopping so he had the house to himself until around one, when Suzannah had promised to return to get his lunch. They'd had to let Dorothy, their long-time housekeeper at Bellemont, go. Suzannah did everything now but she appeared to be taking it easily in her stride. He didn't like all this talk about her going off to find a job. The Sheffield women had never worked except to chair committees in town. Besides he was afraid of what he might do if Suzannah weren't around. He was frustrated beyond belief with his reduced state.

He collected the mail, mostly for Suzannah. Sympathy cards were still coming in from all over. One letter for him. He waited until he was back on the porch to read it. The porch had slender white columns wreathed with jasmine. He wasn't quite sure he liked it. The scent in the bright sunshine was almost overpowering. Marcus Sheffield opened the letter tentatively, which was far from his way, but for some reason he sensed something dire in the contents.

It was short. Very short really. All set down in black and white. His perfect grandchild, the very image of her mother, was what he had always shrunk from. The skeleton in the closet. Charlotte was Nick Konrads's child. The writer, anonymous of course, gutless wonder, he felt sure he knew the gender, had seen proof positive. DNA testing. He, Marcus Sheffield, could delve into the rest.

He felt none of the red rage he once might have experienced. For the first time he began to feel horror at himself. Horror at what he had done. His beloved Suzannah had loved Konrads so much yet he had wrecked her chance of happiness by removing Konrads from her life. He could never begin to make it up to her. And Martin! Poor weak Martin who had allowed himself to be used so that at the end of the day he would win Suzannah for his own. Charley with her radiant presence and huge blue-green eyes. The truth be known he had always felt a little discomfited by those eyes. The one feature he couldn't readily identify in either family. Now he remembered the small, quiet woman who had been Nick Konrads's mother. For all Suzannah had been in and out of the Konrads' house as a child, he had usually sent someone to pick her up in the Rolls or on occasions gone himself giving Mrs. Konrads on the verandah a casual wave. Now he remembered the light-filled eyes. Eyes one saw even from a distance.

He had tried to play God.

Marcus Sheffield felt a great rush of physical nausea. He stumbled back into the house, feeling a peculiar sensation start up in his head. A kind of terrible meltdown like his brain was turning to treacle. He really didn't know if he was going to see Suzannah and Charley again. He desperately needed to wash away his sins.

He broke the speed limit driving to Ashbury, taking the quiet country backroads, handling the big car with his usual skill even as he felt pierced through with remorse. Suzannah had rung him, hysterical as he had never heard her, accusing him of pure cruelty. Her father had suffered another stroke after reading his letter. While his heart lunged in perplexity and shock, thinking Marcus Sheffield dead, Suzannah told him in a broken-hearted voice he had been taken to hospital and was now in intensive care.

" How could you do it, Nick? " she cried. " Is your hate so implacable? "

It had been useless trying to deny all knowledge of what she was saying. He had sent no letter. That wasn't his way. But she was too far gone to hear. Instead he told her he was coming.

" There's nothing you can do. Nothing! You've done it all. " She hung up on him.

This time, feeling queer and upset, he decided he wasn't going to take the blame. Someone was playing a dangerous game. Someone, it seemed, who knew all about the DNA report. Incredible to think it could be anyone on his staff, though all of them had access to his office. No one really knew anything about his background. He trusted Bebe with his life. As he worked his way through names he came to consider Adrienne. Adrienne drowning in jealousy, letting herself believe she was the classic scorned woman. It was a bit rich to think Adrienne could have done such a thing. And yet! He had seen an awful lot in his life. Furious emotions that changed people, forcing them into making terrible mistakes.

When he arrived at the cottage, just on dusk, a strange woman part-opened the door to him, a hesitant half smile on her motherly face.

" Yes? "

" I'd like to speak to Mrs. White, " he said pleasantly. " Is she at home? "

" I'm afraid she isn't. " The woman broke off to look back over her shoulder as small footsteps clattered in the hallway. " It's all right, Charlotte, I'll attend to this, dear. "

" But it's Mr. Konrads, " a child's voice piped. " Mummy would want him to come in. He's a good friend of ours. "

" Really? " The woman, a relative newcomer to the town who lived only a few doors down, opened the door further so Charlotte could run to the strikingly handsome man standing on the porch. He looked enormously respectable, very tall as he stood framed in the doorway, the aura of money and power clinging to him.

" Charlotte, how are you? " Nick broke into a smile, the giant weight around his heart easing at the sight of his child.

" I'm all right but Mummy's terrible, " Charley whispered confidentially, moving to take himm sweetly by the hand. " Won't you come in and wait? "

" Yes, please do. " Suzannah's neighbour murmured, feeling somewhat outmanoeuvred by the child. She moved away so their visitor and Charlotte could come through the doorway. " Mrs. White should be on her way home from the hospital now, " she told him. " Could I get you something? "

He looked at her gratefully. He hadn't eaten since breakfast. " Coffee would be nice. Black. "

" I'll get it. " She left them both sitting in the living room.

" Grandpa is sick again, " Charley confided, moving closer. " They had to take him to hospital in an ambulance. I was at school. "

" I'm sorry to hear that, Charlotte. " He responded with tenderness, not wanting to stare at her, his heart lifting with pride. She spoke beautifully. She was clearly very intelligent.

" I get lots of little taunts at school, " she said, distress in her voice.

He frowned. " What about? "

This time the distress was evident in her small heart-shaped face. " Did you hear we've lost all our money? "

He found himself taking her hand. " Money isn't everything in the world, Charlotte. It's what's in your mind and your heart that really counts. The nicest people, the ones I've liked most, haven't had a lot of money like your grandfather. But I know it makes you sad to be away from Bellemont. "

She nodded, not pulling away but sitting comfortably hand in hand. " Mummy told me you own it now. "

" And I promise you I'll look after it, " he said gently. " It would mean a lot to me, Charlotte, if you would come visit me. We could go riding, I know you own a pony. "

" Lady. " Charley's face was wreathed in smiles. " Do you know Mr. Schroeder? "

" Yes, I do. I used to do lots of jobs for him. "

" He's keeping Gypsy, " Charley said. " That's Mummy's horse, and Lady on his farm. He's a very nice man and Mrs. Schroeder is lovely. Are you going to live at Bellemont? " She looked at him with absolute pleasure in her eyes.

" I can't live there, Charlotte, " he said. " I have a business in Sydney to run. It takes up most of my time. But I'm hoping to get away at weekends. "

" I'm hoping you'll want to stay. Are you going to give Mr. Schroeder his job back? "

" You think I should? " He sat on the sofa, just drinking her in.

" Oh, yes! Mr. Schroeder knows all about growing grapes and making wine. Kurt, his son, has to work for the town council now when he should be making wine. That's what Mummy said. I know Mummy hated it when they lost their jobs at Bellemont. "

" You leave it to me. " Nick smiled into his daughter's eyes.

" I knew you'd help, " Charley said earnestly.

Beverley, Charley's minder, returned with a tray, setting it down on the coffee table. The wonderful aroma of coffee, still in the plunger, pervaded the air; a cup and saucer, sugar in a silver bowl, a glass of chocolate milk for Charley, a selection of homemade biscuits. Beverley, a good cook, had made them for Suzannah.

" Gosh,, this is like a party. " Charley gave a little giggle. " Aren't you going to have anything, Beverley? "

" No, thank you, dear. " Beverley smiled at the child, showing her affection. " I'll wait until Mummy comes home, then I'll go. "

Suzannah pulled into the driveway a short time later, the blood surging against her eardrums as she recognised Nick's car.

So he had come. Wasn't that Nick's way? When he said he was going to do something, he did it. Like making her and her father pay. Hurriedly she got out of the car, slamming the door shut. It was obvious he was making himself comfortable inside. Such was his incredible power he had won over his daughter at first sight. The tender-hearted Beverley wouldn't have stood a chance. She'd have let him in. Keeping herself together was critical. She couldn't upset Charley, or let her nice neighbour become aware of her seething emotions. Nick had handed down his vengeance in full measure. Her father was in a coma in intensive care. The shocking letter Nick had sent him was crushed up in her handbag.

Wildness ran in her veins. Wildness and frustration. By the time she reached the front door Charley was there, Beverley hovering behind her. Charley was incandescent with pleasure, her small face animated by the need to give her mother the good news.

" Mummy, Mr. Konrads is here, " she announced, sounding thrilled. " He's come to see how Grandpa is. Is Grandad a lot better? "

How could she frighten her`? Charley had had enough frights in her short life. " Grandpa is in intensive care, darling, " she said gently. " He's being well looked after but there has been no change. "

Though Suzannah was striving for composure, Beverley, too recently a widow, saw through to the underlying anxiety. " Is there anything more I can do for you, Suzannah? " she said. " I'm quite happy to take Charley down to my place while you have a talk to your friend. " There could be serious things that had to be said without upsetting the child, Beverley reasoned. Mr. Sheffield could well die. Like her Neville.

It was a way out. Suzannah whirled about as Nick walked into the hallway, the overhead light shimmering over his black hair and his strong bone structure. His eyes seemed to blaze with high emotion and danger.

" Suzannah, " he said in a grave voice, " I had to come. "

Charley hugged her mother's hips tightly. " Grandpa is all right, isn't he? "

What could she say. Grandad didn't have a chance? " We must say our prayers, " she answered, her face softening as she looked down at her child. " Would you mind going with Beverley for ten minutes, darling, while I speak to Mr. Konrads? " She kept her voice calm while inside she was shivering with nerves.

" Can't I stay? " Charley started to look worried.

" I'll come down and fetch you, " Nick promised, moving closer. " Your mother and I have grown-up things to discuss, Charlotte. Nothing at all for you to worry about. "

He flashed her his quite wonderful smile so Beverley wasn't surprised when the little girl caught her hand. " You can tell me all about the stars, " Charley suggested. " I love to look up at them twinkling in the sky. "

" They've been twinkling for many billions of years, " he told her lightly. " The same stars we look at tonight shone down on Cleopatra, Alexander the Great, Darius of Persia, the infant Jesus at Bethlehem. I'll point out the constellation Orion, the mighty hunter, where new stars have come to life in the last fifty years. I'll explain to you how a star takes shape, if you like. "

" That will be wonderful! " Charley breathed, her cheeks flaming with rose colour.

Suzannah stood very quietly until the footsteps had died away, then she burst into desperate speech. " What are you trying to do, Nick? Take my daughter from me? I know all about your charm. "

" Make that our daughter, " he said, catching hold of her by the arm as she tried to whirl past him. " I didn't send any letter to your father, Suzannah. I won't say that one more time. But I know exactly what was in it. You can't get away with any more lies. " He ignored her moan. " I have irrefutable proof Charlotte is my child. You know it. I know it. Now your father knows it. Plus the person who devoted their time to exposing the truth for their own ends. "

" I'm supposed to believe that? " The breath shook in Suzannah's throat. She jerked her arm away and moved into the living room, turning to confront him.

" Above all you believe what you want to believe, " he said harshly. " It's a handy trick hiding from the truth. Keeping quiet. Saying nothing. Ultimately, however, the truth will out. Charlotte is my child and I'm here to claim her. "

She was certain of it. " And what about me? "

" " You're not denying it then? " His black gaze whipped over her.

" How could I in the face of your evidence. It broke my father. He couldn't face it. I came home to find him unconscious on the floor. " Her willowy body was bowed by pain.

The sight shafted him. " I'm sorry, Suzannah. I'm sorry that had to happen but it was none of my doing. Your father can't really love Charlotte if he can reject her because she's my child. Charlotte is a little person in her own right. She has her own personality and character. "

Suzannah moved blindly into an armchair. " He probably won't want to see he again. That's if he survives. "

Nick took a moment to get his own feelings under control. " You're only surmising that. I well remember how he adored you. That feeling would have extended to your child. "

" So why did he have another stroke? " she asked urgently, raising her violet eyes to him.

He moved to sit near her, wrapped around by her scent and her presence. " Suzannah, you must know follow-up strokes are common. I'm not saying the news wouldn't have been a shock. "

" So where did the informant get this information from? " she asked in bitter challenge. " Surely it's highly confidential? "

" It is. " He fisted his hand so he wouldn't touch her. " I received confirmation at my office. I thought it was safe. "

" Are you trying to tell me it was someone in your office? " she asked with barely suppressed fury.

He shook his head. " None of them is capable of such treachery. "

" So who? " she demanded. The pain would never be wiped away.

" I have my suspicions, Suzannah. " His voice was taut. " I'll take care of it. "

She gave a scathing laugh for reply. " Do you think that gives me any feeling of security, of privacy? You didn't take care of it last time. Someone read your confidential correspondence, Nick. Someone had the cruelty to pass on the news. Rattle the cage as it were. Someone who didn't care about the consequences. "

" I regret it profoundly, " he said, fighting the compulsion to go to her and pull her into his arms. Whether he wanted it or not his need for her was endless.

" My father might die. " Tears welled like jewels in her eyes.

" I don't think he would care to live in a badly diminished state, " he offered quietly, grieved by everything that had happened.

She stood up and took tempestuous steps away from him, her breasts moving in agitation against the thin dark blue silk of her blouse. " I wish we'd never met, " she said fiercely, all her senses soaring out of control. " I wish we'd never grown up together. I wish I'd never loved you. "

He stood up, went to her, then pulled her body back against him, the cloud of her hair tickling his chin. " Everyone I know of has regrets, Suzannah. You're not alone. There was no good reason my mother should have died in her mid-fifties. Does one die of a broken heart? Don't look at it from your own point of view. Your father engineered his own ruin. Maybe Martin's, too. You said yourself Martin had to confess to what he'd done to me. I might never have known Charlotte is my daughter had not Martin been killed. Things might have been very different if you'd shown a little guts. "

She spun in his arms so alight with anger her eyes sparkled like sapphires. " I think you'd better check that out. Like you've checked out everything else. I've had plenty of guts. What do you think it's been like for me these past years? "

He stared down into her lovely overwrought face. " You married Martin, " he said grimly. " You made no attempt to get away. "

" I was pregnant with your child, damn you. " A passionate fury ran through her.

" You couldn't tell me? " he demanded. " You couldn't face me? God Almighty, Suzannah, I loved you with all my heart. I would never had abandoned you. I would have adored it to know you were with child. Do you understand? " He took her delicate shoulders beneath his strong hands and shook her.

" And what would we have done for money? How would we have lived? You were only just out of university, remember? " She realised she feared him every bit as much as she loved him. Nick was quite capable of instigating a custody battle.

" I've always known how to earn money, " he answered with contempt. " We could have gone to my mother for support. She would never have refused whatever help she could give us. Can't you fathom what a crime it was to deprive her of her grandchild? A child, moreover, with her own eyes. And there's something about Charley's laugh, the way she spreads her fingers over yours. "

She tried to ease back, straining the curve of her neck but he held her fast. " All right, I was a coward, " she flared. " I should have told your mother I was pregnant but I was crazy with worry. My father would have been shocked out of his mind. He was always so proud of me he could have shown me the door. Your mother didn't really want to see me again. She made it plain. It was my fault you were banished from the town. "

" What was she supposed to do? " He gripped her more tightly, listening to her ragged little breaths. " You abused her trust. What your father and Martin did was vile. "

" But you got to have your revenge. " Her voice was so brittle she didn't recognise it as her own.

" And the revenge isn't done. " His eyes narrowed. " I may not be able to take Charlotte from you. I care too much about her, but you're not going to be able to take her from me, either. "

" So what are you going to do? " She stared up into his eyes. " Ruin my reputation in this town? Take it out on Charley? Already some of the children make little taunts. "

" I think you know the answer, " he said.

" No, tell me. " She threw up her gleaming head.

" In another six or seven months-I'm not prepared to wait any longer-you're going to marry me, Suzannah, " he said, with a fierce desire that had nothing to do with love.

" Oh, please, and bring more unhappiness into my life? " she jeered, desperately wishing things were different.

" Charlotte is mine and so are you. " His dominant dark face was set. " Your protestations make no difference. 4 want you both. "

Along with the implacability ran a deep sensuality. " Is this what you call hammering out a deal? " she gasped.

" It's as much for Charlotte as anyone else. She barely knows me but already I'm important to her. I love her pure and simple and I want to protect and enfold her. I want to give her all the good things in life. I want to give her back Bellemont. For herself and her heirs. I want her to make her home with both her parents. I won't stand by and allow you to remarry some time in the future. A woman as young and beautiful as you would surely do that. '" You can't force me into any of this. "

Suzannah said, her seeming anger offset by longings. " You may be able to prove you're Charlotte's father but there's no court in the world that would say I have to marry you to keep her. "

" Suzannah, I'm not a man to be trifled with. You know what you must do. If poor Martin had serious feelings of guilt, so must you. You surely don't want me to tell Charlotte she's my daughter? "

She could feel the heat rise under her skin. " There's no way she would understand. She's only a baby. "

" She'd understand all right, " he rasped, " but I would never tell her until the time is right. Think carefully before you answer. You will marry me. "

" I don't see that as a question. " Her voice almost broke.

" It isn't, but I'd be obliged if you'd answer. "

" When you're going to punish me for the rest of my life? "

" On the contrary. I intend to take good care of you and of course my daughter. Your father, too, if he survives. "

This was all her own fault. Retribution. " Damn you, Nick, " she muttered, her throat working. " Damn you for going off and leaving me. "

" And damn you for lying to me, " he replied. " Curses aren't terribly comfortable, are they? Shall we seal our agreement with a kiss? "

The hard mockery of his tone further infuriated her. " Why would you want a woman who no longer loves you? " she said bleakly, hoping no part of her heart showed in her eyes.

" I think I can handle it. " His voice was suave. " I know there's a difference between love and sex but there's still plenty of that on both sides. Maybe I should prove it. "

She thought she would have broken away, only his arms held her so tightly. She felt terribly vulnerable, defenceless against his male strength and strong will. Worse, she wouldn't have him know how much she wanted him, how life without him had been wasted.

He parted her lovely full mouth easily with his, his own fevered with a powerful desire he didn't bother to hide. He wanted her to understand once and for all she was his. His hands slid deeply, rhymically, possessively, over her back, arching her to him. How many times had he dreamed of this? How many times had he tossed and turned in his dream-clogged sleep longing for one traitorous woman who invaded his mind? A woman Martin White had tricked into his bed. How had he let that happen? Anger and frustration increased his desire, heating his blood. He wanted to swoop her up, tumble her into his car, drive madly through the night overtaking all others until he was home again in his own apartment doing all the things to her he had done in his sleeping fantasies.

Her breasts swelled beneath his questing hand, even the silk seemed electrified by his touch. He could feel the shivery ripples run through her body, reinforcing his own enormous desire. In a moment, he felt he would reach a point too close to the edge.

Lifting his mouth from hers was a strangely ravishing agony. " Convinced? " His voice mocked when he knew a painful yearning for all he had lost.

" So? You always had the capacity to drive me off the deep end. " She shook her head sadly.

" Isn't it odd then that I didn't take it? I could have had you from the day you turned thirteen and gave off femininity like some wonderful erotic scent. I didn't touch you. I couldn't. Not for all the temptation, because I would have despised myself. I cared about you too much. I wanted to marry you. There was never anyone else. " .

Her heart broke over. " And you made me pregnant that one time when we were alone in the house. It doesn't seem possible. I took no steps to prevent it but I could never conceive with Martin. "

A terrible jealousy caught him exposed. " I don't want to talk about Martin and your marriage. That's the past. Lock it away like you locked me out of your heart. " He drew away from her abruptly and turned to the door. " I'd better go collect Charlotte, then I'll drive out to Bellemont. Ring me if you hear from the hospital overnight. I don't care what time it is. If he gets through the night I'll call in tomorrow. I've got to go back. I'm finishing off a very important program. When that's accomplished we have to talk further. I don't want you and Charlotte here when Bellemont is standing empty. "

She fixed her lustrous stare on him. " Wouldn't that ensure a lot of talk? Charley and I would have to confront it. "

" You can dream up the right response, " he countered. " There are very many things you can do for me, Suzannah. You said you needed a job. You're the ideal person to run Bellemont in my absence. I'm reopening the vineyard, modernising the winery, extending the planting. Maybe Chardonnay, Semillon, we can discuss that. The Schroeders will come back. We'll need staff. For the house, the vineyard, the winery, the gardens. You can attend to all that. I have plans for the stables, too. I want the ordinary kids of this district, not just the rich kids, to be taught how to ride properly. We can run a school. I know you'd like to get started on that. Hire the right people. We can provide quality horses for accomplished riders, get Gypsy and Lady back from Hans. Bellemont will return to being a working farm. "

" And you'd put all this in my hands? " She tried to keep the incredulous note out of her voice.

" Why not? " he said tersely. " You've had plenty of training. Life with me won't be so bad, Suzannah. That's if you don't mess it up. "

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