Short stories 1 страница

Elena Grebennikova

Short stories

Contains some obscenities

" This bird has flown"

A sudden story (a crazy beatle play)

Introduction

I like writing stories, but not in English. So it's completely not my story. Almost every word is a quote. I just got interested, what would happen, if I wrote words as they come to me.

It's 5 o'clock in the morning.

Eleanor Rigby (sitting in the sky with diamond, cloud 9) - My love, you've got to hide your love away. I don't mean to hurt you, but... Leave me alone. I feel so insecure...

Sgt. Pepper (in the same place, opening his eyes) - What goes on? Everybody's got something to hide. All I’ve got to do is thank you, girl. Wasn't it just a bad dream, number 9? Tell me what you see!?

E. - I've just seen a face. It's been Rocky Raccoon! I've seen him standing there. You may say I’m a dreamer, but it seemed so real to me... We said our goodbyes one year before. He threatened, he would rather see me dead.

P. - Oh, darling! I know, what it's like to be dead. Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream. It is not dying.

E. - But he's nicknamed Bungalow Bill. He's a jealous guy...

P. - THIS guy won't be happy, till he sees you cry. Tell that Rocky, you're not at home. I get high, when I see you...

E. - Try to see it my way! He'll come in through the bathroom window!

P. - You're making me frantic to sail across the Atlantic to get to you! I'll never leave you alone, and he's a fool on the hill. In a couple of years we'll have built a home, sweet home...

E. - How can I go home, if he knows my name. You know, he can look up the number.

P. - That's why I never give you my number and name (and money too). But there's a place, where we can go: № 9, Strawberry Fields, Nowhereland, where we're all came from.

E. - There're places I remember, but THIS one is a hole in the ocean.

P. - Well, there's another place we can be: 909, Penny Lane, Pepperland.

E. - The farther one travels, the less only knows.

P. - I know, but it's getting better! Roll up! You can drive my car.

E. - Where to?

P. - It's in my ears and in my eyes - only two thousand miles over the ocean.

E. - Happiness isn't measured out in miles. I don't know, which way I’m facing.

P. - Well, we'll follow the sun. We'll fly away somewhere...

E. - In the dead of night? I'm frightened of the dark.

P. - I'll try to make it shine. I'll make a fire.

E. - Nothing is real. You gonna lose me. Let me leave.

P. - Tell me why? We can work it out! Life is very short...

E. - I'll never be the same. He'll always be the only guy for me. And life can be long.

P. - So, now it's time to say goodbye. Let it be. Why wasting time, if we both know?!

E. - I was only waiting for this moment to be free. (gets up and flies away)

P. - A love, that should have lasted years...

The end.

06. 2005
Bird's opening - anticlassics in action

Bird's opening – one of the most ancient debuts and would have to evoke respect, admiration and sacred awe in all reasonable chess players.

But no. In practice of people from level of 2500-2800 Elo it practically doesn't occur. Books on it can be listed on fingers. For example, " Byrd's Opening",

D. Oleynikov, 14 pages of the theory, 200 games. The base of games more than 15. 000 (in reality – 214). Training base. 2002. – is the best sample of the attitude to this debut.

But why? Even to Junior (and to any other decent chess engine) promotion of a pawn down file f will never prevent winning a game against a man! So why are people afraid to apply a debut by the name of Mr. Bird?

Prejudices in relation to this unfortunate debut were rooted deeply in subconsciousness of chess players. Even the King’s gambit, Yanish's gambit, Sokolsky's debut, Grob's Attack or Owen's defense are so not pursued and oppressed as Bird's opening.

And Henry Bird was one of the strongest English chess players of the second half of the 19th century, and also a chess theorist and a writer. He made the significant contribution to development of the debut theory and developed the beginning 1. f4 (Bird's opening) and system of playing in the Spanish opening. He learned to play chess at the age of 10, watching players in one London’s cafes; by the age of 16 he became a regular player of the Divan in the Strand. He was strong enough to be invited to the first large international tournament in London in 1851. When it lost Morphy in 1858, Bird was only 28, and he had been actively playing during next 50 years. Played a match with Lasker - 3, 5: 8, 5. As the outstanding accountant, he wrote a book under the name “An Analysis of Railways in the United Kingdom” and as a chess player - several treatises.

But it just a lyrical digression.

And Bird's debut was played by Chigorin, Alekhine, Bronstein, Fischer, Tartakover, Nimtsovich, Larsen, Danielsen and the few other grand masters. But these ones are enough so far.

So why is 1. f4 so seldom met in the games of people from 2300 Elo and is more? But this move isn't worse, for example, than Sokolsky's debut, and even much more correct.

So why is Bird's opening exposed to such " discrimination", boycott and persecutions?

The answer is one – the unknown frightens. The theory at this opening is practically absent, and from the first move you have to wander about the narrow paths of its variants on which a leg of a serious researcher didn't tread at all. Each step threatens with death.

This poor debut has only several decent websites 1. f4: (http: //www. geocities. com/drawyah/, http: //simnet. is/hdanielsen/polarbear/ and http: //www. chess-theory. com/enva0299a02_links_chess_theory_eco_codes_base. php)

They, of course, don't give a complete idea of this remarkable opening.

IMHO, benefits at 1. f4 has a lot of advantages. The early attack on the line f, first of all. The main shortcoming – the weakness of the royal flank.

From my geometrical point of view, the piece of f2-f4 is parallel to f7-f5 piece. To check it, you only have to mentally fold a chessboard in half from top to bottom (or from bottom to top).

And the Dutch defense - quite correct debut. By the way, if to fold a board in the direction from left to right (or from right to left), then we will find out that the piece of f2-f4 coincides with c2-c4 piece! (The English defense - not a debut from a garbage can too).

And from the linguistic point of view, Bird's debut is suitable for a game. It is necessary to think only of his name – it’s not " attack" and not " defense", but namely an opening. I. e., very balanced debut.

The chess engine point of view was already mentioned.

The conclusion asks for it: further studying of a debut of Bird, without hasty conclusions, is necessary.

to be continued: )

Monday, May 12th, 2008
Why chess is harmful. Philosophical view of a dupe.

To play chess normally (2600-2700), few things are needed: money and free time. Money – about 100 thousand rubles a year in the village, time – at least 6 hours a day. It is understood that health and technical and information equipment by the first two conditions are most often reached.

And how to earn money by chess, if there is no free time on them?

After all, without the corresponding theoretical and psychological training it is impossible to achieve serious progress.

On the other hand, if not earning money by chess, then there won’t be free time on them.

From this it is possible to draw a conclusion that chess, for all its visible availability, is a sport game for the elite, and all in all – a logical deadlock. : -)

Let's consider, for example, dynamics of my development as it is to a large extent caused by the factors of time and money.

For illustration of importance of time factor – it is possible to compare my quality of playing during diploma practice, i. e. when I wasn’t so busy, and in April. I don't know such people who could at the same time write the diploma and reports for 7 hours a day, to ride the bus for 4 hours a day, and to attend lectures sometimes hour 2-3, plus to watch Kasparov's games for 2 hours, moreover, to play as a gross master. Even I can't do that...

For illustration of importance of money factor – it is enough to compare my results in blitz when I had money to spend the night in St. Petersburg and when I didn’t.

So, it is possible to come to a conclusion that if you live in the village, it is necessary to make a career and retire after all first, or to get on disability, or to find the rich husband, and then to play chess. What’s immoral in it, if it is logical...

Absolutely unprofitable occupation, in my opinion. To pay the admission fee, hotel, food, an insurance, and after all that also to play quietly – it is necessary to have strong nerves. And where do women find money, is just unclear... ; -) Likely, they play poker...

Generally, it looks strange from the outside: take, for example, 50 people playing, prizes (sufficient not to starve for about two months) are given to 3-5 people. But, nevertheless, the same crowd of 50 comes to the next tournament though, logically, 45 would have to already starve to death and get confused in debts. But it doesn't occur. Therefore, they have some other sources of income. It can't be a full-day job, as you can’t retire every two months. : -) It’s suspicious, for all that...

I have an idea - to f*ck for money, and then to play chess on it, but somehow it doesn’t look nice to me. Well, no, I don't think that such activity which makes you to f*ck for money can be good... Therefore, chess is a bad game. : -)

And in general the meaning of participation in tournaments is lost. To earn money by it is unreal, and to receive any rank – even more senseless. Chess rank is necessary, first, for increase in the status (so that IM and IG weren’t squeamish and disdainful to speak and play blitz). It is pleasant, for example, when the guest on a chess server loses, calls me names, and I just tell him: do you know who you’re attacking, ***, I am an ai-dgi! : -) Secondly, not to pay money for participation.

Thus, chess as an occupation is a waste of time. : -) And love to them means nothing here. I, for example, would now eat pita bread directly from an underground oven: -), but I have no such opportunity.

Blitz – senseless too. First, I don't like it. Secondly, after day of hard work it is difficult to expect victories. And for me the main thing is the game quality. If I make the move which wouldn't be approved by a chess engine or opposite to my beliefs, I am upset. Why experiencing negative emotions? : -) Why skiving? What pleasure can be there from a low-quality game and yawns? The main thing as R. Spielmann told, is the belief in the position. And I can’t really make such a belief appear somehow in my brain, if I don’t study chess theory for an hour, don’t get enough sleep, don’t have a rest and don’t eat. Therefore, personally for me chess in any kind is harmful. : -)

2008-2009

From the bottle

don't drink at the wedding they always try to make you tipsy we will sit by the river and then two “Baltica” beer the problem of gender relations but who will teach you f*ck you don't call me anymore my sweetie you like slender ones with short light well you are schmuck I… at first sight would kill you not so not so more softly call him wait for three years I… you very much let’s met with a girlfriend move away the dog Shagane well I can't…her it well you’re a bore-bore-bore my little sunshine why are you music supports orgasm how dribbling it she is so unhappy the water is near do you want I might acquaint why so slow and will you come you are afraid of me all of them love you hurry again even Camel you never it can’t be so wow and others are allowed to the bathroom is on the right well somehow I didn’t have to f*ck so you’re there will be no way back met before do you hurt I can't today a guerrilla girl eat some more you …to me at once but where is f*ck off what is your smell I like ten rubles each close the window enough for three liters well you are such a… yes both to the army I love well don't yawn chess pieces you won't come I know a thirty-year-old virgin boy she… me and I… you and who is that girl on the last row we will drink for the grandmother to rest in peace in the cafe and to kiss? such textbooks should be thrown out forget and never mind you will be the last find an eraser on the window so we four gathered together do you listen you just don't see “to call” – emphasis on " a" some students three wenches and me all of them get drunk after the lectures woke up there’s a guy near who is in the old blouse don't wait for excellent marks hide the can under the chair I learned your phone number from… the dialectics of being an unfamiliar flat why such a small and not hard I must she the shop nearby the old and young assh*les well but I am sick a sausage sandwich so you don’t… me what children cranberry liqueur’s not enough but at the wedding don't drink

2008
Emptiness

… Having taken off a green rubber cap and boot covers, I went out into a dazzlingly white corridor. It was hard to walk because of unusual distances between objects. The walls and the floor formed accurate straight lines, the bright bulbs lit the rough ceiling. It seemed to me that I am standing at the door to another world.

The first that caught my eye when I opened a door into the visitors’ lobby – a bright red grand piano in the dining room and squares of tile on the floor. Then I have suddenly saw my parents who rushed to me with shouts of joy. They had amusing faces. Absolutely not like what I expected to see. Mother's shoes and father's boots brought me into mute delight. Parents’ wrinkles made their faces too real and alive – and unexpectedly close to me, more than ever.

– Well, how has the surgery passed? – the father asked me. The mother couldn't speak because of emotions.

– Great. There was was such a smell as if they drilled my teeth. Also it was very difficult not to worry and not to move a pupil. And then I saw red, green and yellow ringlets from the laser. As though I looked into the kaleidoscope at surprising tracery. I don't understand what is happening to me.

– And do you see me?

– Of course, I do. And mother too. And the room. It seems to me, I got into some wonderful country, and I want to stay here!

– Now we will wait for the doctor, and then we will go home …

… There were three more hours before the bus’s arrival. I left the waiting room, took cigarettes from the handbag and found a lighter in my pocket. It was possible to wander a little more on the railway station and to think. The memories never end … especially when you badly want to get home quicker. Suddenly from around the corner there appeared a girl in a short crimson jacket and jeans. I haven’t recognized her at once. It was my friend Natasha whom we boozed and listened to the Pink Floyd with.

– Let's go and sit in the park! – she offered me.

– Of course. If I’ll have enough money for two liters.

– I will add some.

I had only two hundred rubles with me. But we were lucky. Soon came some more people, the students from another faculty who decided to leave the periods a bit earlier. There is nothing more boring, than to sit and listen to the tedious chatter of a lecturer narrating about his private life. It would be much more useful to stay home and read a book or a good workbook of the lecture. And it was even more useful to drink some beer.

– Look who is coming!

At the distance the local teacher of a certain useless subject appeared. We knew that he is drinking vodka right after the end of periods and is hanging out near University in such a state. And that he had several turtles at home.

– Hehe, this is nothing… there is one professor from our department. So we found him in the most distant resting room yesterday, on a sofa, and there was a bottle with something tasty in his hand.

– Well, they should relax somehow after their heavy job. Especially that they should drive long hours to our petty branch…

The weather was good, and no one wanted to be choking in the apartment. And therefore we bought several liters of beer and occupied two benches in the park, having driven a couple of local bums from there. Natasha with one more late student stepped aside – to smoke weed and to chat about their married affairs. Alcohol already began to work …

… It was five o’clock in the morning, and gentle-pink rising sunrise foreshadowed a windy summer day. I was standing by the window and watching how two crows flew from a tree to a tree. Their legs and small beaks were so real that it was strange to believe in their existence. There was a small sticker with a drawn dragon, for exercises from short-sightedness, on the inside part of the glass. I tore off the sticker and wiped the glass.

Outside not only birds, but also people already began to wake up. The janitor was sweeping the street, and I could even remember his face. But I never saw faces earlier and wasn't able to remember them. The branches on the trees were shaking from the light breeze. I could have drawn them now, but I had already forgotten to draw a long-long time ago, moving the easel closer and closer to the still life. The world in spectacles is absolutely not the same as it actually is…

– Hi, and what are you doing here? – one more fellow student who was accidentally passing by. Lida was from those who found pleasure to drive me by the hand. She compared me with her short-sighted sister and advised me to read Norbekov. Sometimes we were crossing the road crossed the road together. Now I could walk by myself, and our topics for a talk were exhausted.

I departed from the company to chat with her. Lida began in her usual style:

– Why do you communicate with that Natasha? It has such heredity, it is no wonder that she is drinking much. And what will her child grow up to be, it is terrible to imagine.

– Why do you care?

– Well, I just have pity for you. She can't study, so she clings to you. And that boyfriend of her, Vasya, he is courting you to copy the ready answers from your textbook.

I recalled all disks and books that disappeared without a trace in Natasha’s apartment, and inwardy agreed with that. And about the rest too. But then I recalled that Lida was always copying my answers too.

– So that? I just want to have a good time. Well, I don't disturb you. It’s not so easy, in the end, to find a person who likes to listen to the Beatles. Most of people aren't similar to me at all.

– Well, nothing, that is your business. A fellow teacher told me confidentially that if you drink much, you will become a janitor, but not a teacher.

– And I was never going to be a teacher, and I don't give a damn for your acquaintances. I will pass all examinations better than you all the same.

– Well, I don't doubt it.

Lida took out a mobile phone and looked at her wristwatch. Probably, she took offense that her taunts are passing by my ears, I thought. But I didn't want to apologize at all. There is no difference whom to communicate to, if there is nothing to talk about anyway.

– See you tomorrow.

I felt that people around me were telling something, moving. But I was already plunging into my world where there was nothing superfluous – only the sky over my head and the leaves on the park trees …

… There was no mirror in the hospital hotel room, so I ad to go into the corridor. An unfamiliar face was looking at me from the mirror. I peered into it, trying to convince myself that it was me. Then returned to my room and turned on the radio. Strangely enough, the Beatles’ song " Let it be" was playing. Outside the window, as far as the eye catches, multystoried buildings were stretching out, people were hurrying on the street – some were returning home from work, some, like me, for their new eyes. The light was switched on in many windows, and it was possible to discern how someone was walking behind the lowered curtains. Each trifle in this world was unfamiliar and frightening to me. I lay down on the bed, dripped the drops in both eyes and closed them. Perhaps, it is much easier to live in the dark, only imagining what it is – this world …

… When my pal friends went away, I got on the bus and drove home. It was already darkening, and the glaring light of lanterns hurt my eyes. A pleasant beery feeling of nonchalance was spreading inside my entrails, and life seemed not so frightful.

2012
Vanitas

I woke up from the morning light that was pushing through the curtains. On the bed there was some unfamiliar guy. I didn't remember neither how he happened to be nor what we were doing at night. I took out the mobile phone. Six am. Carefully treading on the dirty floor, I went to the kitchen. The smell of cigarettes and beer hadn’t disappeared yet. A cat was lazily washing herself on the window sill. There were the old faded John Lennon's photo and a poster of Nirvana hanging on the wall. Dirty mugs stayed in the sink, pizza remains were seen on the table. There were some more people sleeping in the corridor, some on sofas, and others just on the floor. Trying not to wake anyone, I splashed out the remains of beer into a glass, took a sip, left the apartment and closed the door …

That morning me and my fellow student were drinking on the bench near the university. The next useless double periods which could be shirked. Having tried to keep cans with gin tonic under the desks and to drink right during the classes through a tubule, we decided that it is funny, but a bit complicated. And we were kicked out from the porches by spiteful grannies and dogs.

We were saying something, but it was unimportant. Music, acquaintances, food, the injustice of life and small pleasures. The main thing was – to feel the smack of freedom which alcohol gave. Everything – both bad and good – was forgotten, there remained only a feeling of infinite peace and the joy of life. It seemed, any pain will depart before a sip of light beer. We felt ourselves the strongest and most courageous people in the world.

– And have you tried to f*ck in the ass? – Masha asked me.

– Sure. – I said, so that to say something. The world narrowed to the sizes of a beer can, but my brain, it seemed, widened to the globe size.

– My ex didn't satisfy me at all. It like the Earth and the sky.

– Mine too.

– Except he drinks much. And even in the mornings. He still hadn’t paid for the broken car, and already managed to break the new one somewhere …

– Why dating him?

– Only sex. Well and I, of course, love him very much.

Suddenly I noticed a familiar face. By the bench there an elderly person walking a dog was passing. His face rumpled from alcohol gave away sleepless nights and some worry. " It couldn’t be worse. " – I thought.

– And are you still dating that guy? – The question took me unaware. I couldn't tell with confidence what guy Masha means. Whether those two whom we drank last week with, or that whom I was kissing in the park a month ago. Or perhaps someone else. You never know what you will tell a friend, when drunk. But the specific bozo who was passing by worried me more than the others. It is unknown how a person leading a double life would behave. Married men are d*cks on legs. Besides, the behavior of those who were not given sex is unpredictable.

– No, I’ve been dating another for a long time already. – The man has greeted me, more precisely, he mooed something, and left. Excellent. It is so disgusting when it is necessary to yell at people so that they left you alone and stopped trying to paw you.

I took a sip of beer and felt as though some shadow from the past had flashed passing by. It happens when you see a face reminding someone else. Or not reminding. But it is very easy to pretend that a person reminds someone, and it is enough to like that person, though for a short time. Life seems to be deflecting through the dream prism.

– And I saw Anton yesterday. – I tried to recall what relation Anton has to me, but couldn't. Then I thought out that Anton's face seemed familiar to me, and during the next bender I told Masha that I like him.

– I’m bored with him.

– Me too. My boyfriend is going to take care of him and Fedya. He doesn’t like that we are drinking with them. As though to drink – means to f*ck. Why does he treat me this way … I drink with him too …

And that was a beginning... It is hard to stop a drunk person’s stream of consciousness. But alcohol makes any moment brighter. And we had been sitting on the bench for three hours already.

– And have you ever loved somebody? Truly? – Masha asked me. I took thought. As far as I knew, all people whom I used for draining of my thoughts, gradually ceased to talk to me and disappeared.

– Not yet.

– You will find still somebody. You are even half a year younger than me.

– I don’t care.

The words slid past my ears. And there was enough things to think over, without words. It was a fine summer day, the sun was heating the bench and the beer, so we decided to look at the periods’ schedule for tomorrow and to continue drinking at home, in cozier environment.

… It was a warm summer morning on the street. To get to the next bus stop –more than a kilometer. Holding back the nausea, I dragged myself forward, as usual, promising myself not to get drunk so again. The deserted quiet town didn't pay any attention to me, and only the singing of birds said that he will soon wake up and plunge into eternal vanity for a next working day.

As always, there was no place to sit in the bus. I understood that it was time to look for a bag for burping. Fortunately, some kind woman, having seen that I make suspicious sounds, has palmed off a package to me.

After an hour of almost continuous vomiting I, at last, reached home and went to sleep at once.

2012
Non-existence

She was standing by the window and watching spring flies tapping on the window. It was cozy and warm in the room. In the computer – the video of " Juno and Avos", on the shelves – books on sexology, on walls – the pictures reproductions and icons. The bra was hanging from the back of the bed, and there was an empty box from from condoms laying on the floor.

– Do you want some more wine? – Igor asked.

– No, it’s already enough for me.

She recalled how many times she came into this room and dreamed of this to happen. And so, it finally came true. The feeling of joy overwhelmed her. It seemed to her that the rays of light are penetrating all of her body, warming her by its heat. Now she was the same as everyone, and his awkward disgusting caress were left behind.

– Why have you left that time? – Igor came around and embraced her. They kissed.

How ridiculously he expressed his thoughts, when she refused him – " let's stay friends". Never before did she met that phrase. She had to look for its meaning on the Internet. An incredibly silly phrase. As well as him, incredibly silly and boring.

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