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Sister Carrie 5 страницаbetter if she had not secured a position so quickly, and had seen more of the city which she constantly troubled to know about.
On the first morning it rained she found that she no umbrella. Minnie loaned her one of hers, which was worn and faded. There was the kind of vanity in Carrie that troubled at this. She went to one of the great department stores and bought herself one, using a dollar and a quarter of her small store to pay for it.
" What did you do that for, Carrie? " asked Minnie, when she saw it.
" Oh, I need one, " said Carrie.
" You foolish girl. "
Carrie resented this, though she did not reply. She was not going to be a common shop-girl, she though; they need not think it, either.
One the first Saturday night Carrie paid her board, four dollars. Minnie had a quaver of conscience as she took it, but did not know how to explain to Hanson if she took less. That worthy gave up just four dollar less toward the household expenses with a smile of satisfaction. He contemplated increasing his Building and Loan payments. As for Carrie, she studied over the problem of finding clothes and amusement on fifty cents a week. She brooded over this until she was in a state of mental rebellion.
" I'm going up the street for a walk, " she said after supper.
" Not alone, are you? asked Hanson.
" Yes, " returned Carrie.
" I wouldn't, " said Minnie.
" I want to see something, " said Carrie, and by the tone she put into the last word they realized for the first time she was not pleased with them.
" What's the matter with her? " asked Hanson, when she went into the front room to get her hat.
" I don't know, " said Minnie.
" Well, she ought to know better than to want to go out alone. "
Carrie did not go very far, after all. She returned and stood in the door. The next day they went out to Garfield Park, but it did not please her. She did not look well enough. In the shop next day she heard the highly colored reports which girls give of their trivial amusements. They had been happy. On several days it rained and she used up car fare. One night she got thoroughly that evening she sat alone in the front room looking out upon the street, where the lights were reflected on the wet pavements, thinking. She had imagination enough to be moody.
On Saturday she paid another four dollars and pocketed her fifty cents in despair. The speaking acquaintanceship which she formed with some of the girls at the shop discovered to her the fact that they had more of their earnings to use for themselves than she did. They had young men of the kind whom she, since her experience with Drouet, felt above, who took them about. She came to thoroughly dislike the light-headed young fellows of the shop. Not one of them had a show of refinement. She saw only their workday side.
There came a day when the first premonitory blast of winter swept over the city. It scudded the fleecy clouds in the heavens, trailed long, thin streamers of smoke from the tall stacks, and raced about the streets and corners in sharp and sudden puffs. Carrie now felt the problem of winter clothes. What was she to do? She had no winter jacket, no hat, no shoes. It was difficult to speak to Minnie about this, but at last she summoned the courage.
" I don't know what I'm going to do about clothes, " she said one evening when they were together. " I need a hat. "
Minnie looked serious.
" Why don't you keep part of your money and buy yourself one? " she suggested, worried over the situation which the withholding of Carrie's money would create.
" I'd like to for a week or so, if you don't mind, " ventured Carrie.
" Could you pay two dollars? " asked Minnie.
Carrie readily acquiesced, glad to escape the trying situation, and liberal now that she saw a way out. She was elated and began figuring at once. She needed a hat first of all. How Minnie explained to Hanson she never knew. He said nothing at all, but there were thoughts in the air which left disagreeable impressions.
The new arrangement might have worked if sickness had not intervened. It blew up cold after a rain one afternoon when Carrie was still without a jacket. She came out of the warm shop at six and shivered as the wind struck her. In the morning she was sneezing, and going down town made it worse. That day her bones ached and she felt light-headed. Towards evening she felt very ill, and when she reached home was not hungry. Minnie noticed her drooping actions and asked her about herself.
" I don't know, " said Carrie. " I feel real bad. "
She hung about the stove, suffered a chattering chill, and went to bed sick. The next morning she was thoroughly feverish.
Minnie was truly distressed at this, but maintained a kindly demeanor. Hanson said perhaps she had better go back home for a while. When she got up after three days, it was taken for granted that her position was lost. The winter was near at hand, she had no clothes, and now she was out of work.
" I don't know, " said Carrie; " I'll go down Monday and see if I can't get something. "
If anything, her efforts were more poorly rewarded on this trail than the last. Her clothes were nothing suitable for fall wearing. Her last money she had spent for a hat. For three days she wandered about, utterly dispirited. The attitude of the flat was fast becoming unbearable. She hated to think of going back there each evening. Hanson was so cold. She knew it could not last much longer. Shortly she would have to give up and go home.
On the fourth day she was down town all day, having borrowed ten cents for lunch from Minnie. She had applied in the cheapest kind of places without success. She even answered for a waitress in a small restaurant where she saw a card in the window, but they wanted an experienced girl. She moved through the thick throng of strangers, utterly subdued in spirit. Suddenly a hand pulled her arm and turned her about.
" Well, well! " said a voice. In the first glance she beheld Drouet. He was not only rosy-cheeked, but radiant. He was the essence of sunshine and good-humor.
" Why, how are you, Carrie? " he said. " You're a daisy
Where have been? "
Carrie smiled under his irresistible flood of geniality.
" I've been out home, " she said.
" Well, " he said, " I saw you across the street there. I thought it was you. I was just coming out to your place.
How are you, anywhere? "
" I'm all right, " said Carrie, smiling.
Drouet looked her over and saw something different.
" Well, " he said, " I want to talk to you. You're not going anywhere in particular, are you? "
" Not just now, " said Carrie.
" Let's go up here and have something to eat. George! but I'm glad to see you again. "
She felt so relieved in his radiant presence, so much though with the slightest air of holding back.
" Well, " he said, as he took her arm-and there was an exuberance of good-fellowship in the word which fairly warmed the cockles of her heart.
They went through Monroe Street to the old Windson dining-room, which was then a large, comfortable place with an excellent cuisine and substantial service. Drouet selected a table close by the window, where the busy route of the street could be seen. He loved the changing panorama of the street-to see and be seen as he dined.
" Now, " he said, getting Carrie and himself comfortably settled, " what will you have? "
Carrie looked over the large bill of fare which the waiter handed her without really considering it. She was very hungry, and the things she saw there awakened her desires, but the high prices held her attention. " Half broiled spring chicken-seventy-five. Sirloin steak with mushrooms-one twenty-five. " She had dimly heard of these things, but it seemed strange to be called to order from the list.
" I'll fix this, " exclaimed Drouet. " Sst! waiter. "
That officer of the board, a full-chested, round-faced negro, approached, and inclined his ear.
" Sirloin with mushrooms, " said Drouet. " Stuffed tomatoes. "
" Yassah, " assented the negro, nodding his head.
" Hashed brown potatoes. "
" Yassah. "
" Asparagus. "
" Yassah. "
" And a pot of coffee. "
Drouet turned to Carrie. " I haven't had a thing since breakfast. Just got in from Rock Island. I was going off to dine when I saw you. "
Carrie smiled and smiled.
" What have you been doing? " he went on. " Tell me all about yourself. How is your sister? "
" She's well, " returned Carrie, answering the last query.
He looked at her hard.
" Say, " he said, " you haven't been sick, have you? "
Carrie nodded.
" Well, now that's a blooming shame, isn't it? You don't look very well. I thought you looked a little pale.
What have you been doing? "
" Working, " said Carrie.
" You don't say so! At what? "
She told him.
" Rhodes, Morgenthua and Scott-why I know that house. Over here on Fifth Avenue, isn't it? They're a close-fisted concern. What made you go there? "
" I couldn't get anything else, " said Carrie frankly.
" Well, that's an outrage, " said Drouet. " You oughtn't to be working for those people. Have the factory right back of the store, don't they? "
" Yes, " said Carrie.
" That isn't a good house, " said Drouet. " You don't want to work at anything like that, anyhow. "
He chattered on at a great rate, asking questions, explaining things about himself, telling her what a good restaurant it was, until the waiter returned with an immense tray, bearing the hot savory dished which had been ordered. Drouet fairly shone in the matter of serving. He appeared to great advantage behind the white napery and silver platters of the table and displaying his arms with a knife and fork. As he cut the meat his rings almost spoke. His new suit creaked as he stretched to helped Carrie to a rousing plateful and contributed the warmth of his spirit to her body until she was a new girl. He was a splendid fellow in the true popular understanding of the term, and captivated Carrie completely.
That little soldier of fortune took her good turn in an easy way. She felt a little out of place, but the great room soothed her and the view of the well-dressed throng outside seemed a splendid thing. Ah, what was it not to have money! What a thing it was to be able to come in here and dine! Drouet must be fortunate. He rod on trains, dressed in such nice clothes, was so strong, and ate in these fine places. He seemed quite a figure of a man, and she wondered at his friendship and regard for her.
" So you lost your place because you got sick, eh? " he said. " What are you going to do now? "
" Look around, " she said, a thought of the need that hung outside this fine restaurant like a hungry dog at her wheels passing into her eyes.
" Oh, no, " said Drouet, " that won't do. How long have you been looking? "
" Four days, " she answered.
" Think of that! " he said, addressing some problematical individual. " You oughtn't to be doing anything like that. These girls, " and he waved an inclusion of all shop and factory girls, " don't get anything. Why, you can't live on it, can you? "
He was a brotherly sort of creature in his demeanor. When he had scouted the idea of that kind of toil, he took another tack. Carrie was really very pretty. Even then in her commonplace garb, her figure was evidently not bad, and her eyes were large and gentle. Drouet looked at her and his thoughts reached home. She felt his admiration. It was powerfully backed by his liberality and good-humor. She felt that she liked him-that she could continue to like him ever so much. There was something even richer than that, running as a hidden strain, in her mind. Every little while her eyes would meet his, and by that means the interchanging current of feeling would be fully connected.
" Why don't you stay down town and go to the theatre with me? " he said, hitching his chair closer. The table was not very wide.
" Oh, I can't, " she said.
" What are you going to do to-night? "
" Nothing, " she answered, a little drearily.
" You don't like out there where you are, do you? "
" Oh I don't know. "
" What are you going to do if you don't get work? "
" Go back home, I guess. "
There was least quaver in her voice as she said this. Somehow, the influence he was exerting was powerful. They came to an understanding of each other without words-he of her situation. she of the fact that he realized it.
" No, " he said, " you can't make it! " genuine sympathy filling his mind for the time. " Let me help you. You take some of my money"
" Oh, no! she said, leaning back.
" What are you going to do? " he said.
She sat meditating, merely shaking her head.
He looked at her quite tenderly for his kind. There were some loose bills in his vest pocket-greenbacks They were soft and noiseless, and he got his fingers about them and crumpled them up in his hand.
" Carrie on, " he said, " I'll see you through all right. Get yourself some clothes. "
It was the first reference he had made to that subject, and now she realized how bad off she was. In his crude way he had struck the key- note. Her lips trembled a little.
She had her hand out on the table before her. They were quite alone in their corner, and he put his larger, warmer hand over it.
" Aw, come, Carrie, " he said, " what can you do alone? Let me help you. "
He pressed her hand gently and she tried to withdraw it. At this he held it fast, and she no longer protested. Then he slipped the greenbacks he had into her palm, and when she began to protest, he whispered:
" I'll loan to you-that's all right. I'll loan it to you. "
He made her take it. She felt bound to him by a strange tie of affection now. They went out, and he walked with her take it. She felt bound to him by a walked with her far out south toward Polk Street, talking.
" You don't want to live with those people? " he said in one place, abstractedly. Carrie heard it, but it made only a slight impression.
" Could down and meet me to-morrow, " he said, " and we'll go to the matinee. Will you?
Carrie protested a while, but acquiesced.
" You're not doing anything. Get yourself a nice pair of shoes and a jacket. "
She scarcely gave a though to the complication which would trouble her when he was gone. In his presence, she was of his own hopeful, easy- way-out mood.
" Don't you bother about those people out there, " he said at parting. " I'll help you. "
Carrie left him, feeling as though a great arm had slipped out before her to draw off trouble. The money she had accepted was two soft, green, handsome ten dollar bills.
Chapter VII THE LURE OF THE MATERIAL: BEAUTY SPEAKS FORITSELF
The true meaning of money yet remains to be popularly explained and comprehended. When each individual realizes for himself that this thing primarily stands for and should only be accepted as a moral due-that it should be paid out as honestly stored energy, and not as a usurped privilege-many of our social, religious, and political troubles will have permanently passed. As for Carrie, her understanding of the moral significance of money was the popular understanding, nothing more. The old definition: " Money: something everybody else has had and I must get, " would have expressed her understanding of it thoroughly. Some of it she now held in her hand-two soft, green ten-dollar bills-and she felt that she was immensely better off for the having of them. It was something that was power in itself. One of her order of mind would have been content to be cast away upon a desire island with a bundle of money, and only the long strain of starvation would have taught her that in some cases it could have no value. Even then she would have had no conception of the relative value of the thing; her one thought would, undoubtedly, have concerned the pity of having so much power and the inability to use it.
The poor girl thrilled as she walked away from Drouet. She felt ashamed in part because she had been weak enough to take it, but her need was so dire, she was still glad. Now she would have a nice jacket! Now she would buy a nice pair button shoes. She would get stockings too, and skirts, and, and-until already, as in matter of her desires, twice the purchasing power of her bills. She conceived a true estimate of Drouet. To her, and indeed to all the world, he was a nice, good-hearted, as in the matter of her prospective salary, she had got beyond, in her desires, twice the purchasing power of her bills.
She conceived a true estimate of Drouet. To her, and indeed to all the world, he was a nice, good-hearted man. There was nothing evil in the fellow. He gave her the want. He would not have given the same amount to a poor young man, but we must not forget that a poor young man could not, in the nature of things, have appealed to him like a poor young girl. Femininity affected his feelings. He was the creature of an inborn desire. Yet no beggar could have caught his eye and said, " My God, mister, I'm starving, " but he would gladly have handed out what was considered the proper portion to give beggars and though no more about it. There would have been no speculation, no philosophizing. He had no mental process in him worthy the dignity of either of those terms. In his good clothes and fine health, he was a merry, unthinking moth of the lamp. Deprived of his position, and struck by a few of the involved and baffling forces which sometimes play upon man, he would have been as helpless as Carrie-as helpless, as nonunderstanding, as pitiable, if you will, as she.
Now, in regard to his pursuit of women, he meant them no harm, because he did not conceive of the relation which he hoped to hold with them as being harmful. He loved to make advances to women, to have them succumb to his charms, not because his inborn desire urged him to that as a chief delight. He was vain, he was boastful, he was as deluded by fine clothes as any silly-headed girl. As truly deep-dyed villain could have hornswaggled him as readily as he could have flattered a pretty shop- girl. His fine success as a salesman lay in his geniality and the thoroughly reputable standing of his house. He bobbed about among men, a veritable bundle of enthusiasm-no power worthy the name of intellect, no thoughts worthy the adjectives noble, no feelings long continued in one strain. A Madame Sappho would have called him a pig; a Shakespeare would have said " my merry child; " old, drinking Caryoe thought him a clever, successful business man. In short, he was as good as his intellect conceived.
The best proof that there was something open and commendable about the man was the fact that Carrie took the money. No deep, sinister soul with ulterior motives could have given her fifteen cents under the guise of friendship. The unintellectual are not so helpless. Nature has taught the beasts of the field to fly when some, unheralded danger threatens. She has put into the small, unwise head of the chipmunk the untutored dear of poisons. " He keepeth His creatures whole, " was not written of beasts alone. Carrie was unwise, and, therefore, like the sheep in its unwisdom, strong in feeling. The instinct of self- protection, strong in all such natures, was roused but feebly, if at all, by the overtures of Drouet.
When Carrie had gone, he felicitated himself upon her good opinion. By George, it was shame young girls had to be knocked around like that. Cold weather coming on and no clothes. Tough. He would go around to Fitzgerald and Moy's and get a cigar. It made him feel light of foot as he thought about her.
Carrie reached home in high good spirits, which she could scarcely conceal. The possession of the money involved a number of points which perplexed her seriously. He should she buy any clothes when Minnie knew that she had no money? She had no sooner entered the flat than this point was settled for her. It could not be done. She could think of no way of explaining.
" How did you come out? " asked Minnie, referring to the day.
Carrie had none of the small deception which could feel one thing and say something directly opposed. She would prevaricate, but it would be in the line of her feelings, at least. So instead of complaining when she felt so good, she said:
" I have the promise of something. "
" Where? "
" At the Boston Store. "
" Is it sure promised? " questioned Minnie.
" Well, I'm to find out to-morrow, " returned Carrie disliked to draw out a lie any longer than was necessary.
Minnie felt the atmosphere of good feeling which Carrie brought with her. She felt now was the time to express to Carrie the state of Hanson's feeling about her entire Chicago venture.
" If you shouldn't get it-" she paused, troubled for an easy way.
" If I don't get something pretty soon, I think I'll go home. "
Minnie saw her chance.
" Sven thinks it might be best for the winter, anyhow. "
The situation flashed on Carrie at once. They were unwilling to keep her any longer, out of work. She did not blame Minnie, she did not blame Hanson very much. Now, as she sat there digesting the remark, she was glad she had Drouet's money.
" Yes, " she said after a few moments, " I thought of doing that. "
She did not explain that the though, however, had aroused all the antagonism of her nature. Columbia City, what was there for her? She knew its dull little round by heart. Here was the great, mysterious city which was still a magnet for her. What she had seen only suggested its possibilities. Now to turn back on it and live the little old life out there-she almost exclaimed against the thought.
She had reached home early and went in the front room to think. What could she do? She could not buy new shoes and wear them here. She would need to save part of the twenty to pay her fare home. She did not want to borrow of Minnie for that. And yet how could she explain where she even got that money? If she could only get enough to let her out easy.
She went over the tangle again and again. Here, in the morning, Drouet would expect to see her in a new jacket, and that couldn't be. The Hansons expected her to go home, and she wanted to get away, and yet she did not want to go home. In the light of the way they would look on her getting money without work, the taking of it now seemed dreadful. She began to be ashamed. The whole situation depressed her. It was all so clear when she was with Drouet. Now it was all so tangled, so hopeless-much worse than it was before, because she had the semblance of aid in her hand which she could not use.
Her spirits sank so that at supper Minnie felt that she must have had another hard day. Carrie finally decided that she would give the money back. It was wrong to take it. She would go down in the morning and hunt for work. At noon she would meet Drouet as agreed and tell him. At this decision her heart sank, until she was the old Carrie of distress.
Curiously, she could not hold the money in her hand without feeling some relief. Even after all her depressing conclusions, she could sweep away all thought about the matter and then the twenty dollars seemed a wonderful and delightful thing. Ah, money, money, money! What a thing it was to have. How plenty of it would clear away all these troubles.
In the morning she got up and started out a little early. Her decision to hunt for work was moderately strong, but the money in her pocket, after all her troubling over it, made the work question the least shade less terrible. She walked into the wholesale district, but as the thought of applying came with each passing concern, her heart shrank. What a coward she was, she thought to herself. Yet she had applied so often. It would be the same old story. She walked on and on, and finally did go into one place, with the old result. She came out feeling that luck was against her. It was no use.
Without much thinking, she reached Dearborn Street. Here was the great
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