Chapter 34

We burst through the door of the penthouse in a tangled embrace. I’ve waited all day for this. I’m about to explode with lust. I need him all over me, right now.

He removes my bag from my shoulder, throwing it to the floor and grabs me around my waist so I straddle his hips. He walks us into the kitchen, flicks a few buttons on the remote control and my ears are soon flooded with Placebo’s Running up that Hill. This only serves to spike my desperation for him more. He’s a man of his word.

‘I want you in bed. ’ he says urgently as he takes the stairs at an alarming rate.

I kick my ballet pumps off on the way up, in an attempt to reduce the time constraints of undressing when we get upstairs. The door to the master suite is kicked open, and I’m placed on my feet at the end of the bed.

‘Turn around. ’ he says softly. I oblige, giving him access to the back of my dress. ‘Please tell me that you have lace on, ’ he pleads, unbuttoning my dress. ‘I need you in lace. ’

‘I have lace on. ’ I confirm quietly. I wear nothing but these days. I hear him exhale a long, satisfied breath as he pulls my dress over my head and let’s it fall to the floor.

I turn back around to face him, finding a lax mouth and hooded eyes. He’s as desperate as I am. He reaches forward, slowly pulling down a cup on my bra, brushing his knuckles over my nipple. My heart starts a relentless sprit in my chest. He’s in gentle mode – I love gentle Jesse.

I watch him reach over his back and grasp his t-shirt, pulling it forward over his head. The leanness of him will never cease to have me panting. There’s not a scrap of fat on him.

‘Have you had a nice day? ’ he asks softly. He doesn’t touch me. He just stands in front of me removing his shoes and socks, while I’m mentally begging for him to hurry up. He wants to have a chat?

‘I’ve had a lovely day. ’ I say, trying my hardest to ignore the passionate beats of the music surrounding us, especially if he’s set on chatting for a while.

‘Me too, ’ He’s all serious and pensive. I don’t know what to make of it. ‘Shall we make it even better? ’

Oh God. ‘Yes. ’ I breathe.

‘Come here. ’

There will be no countdown necessary this time. I step forward, placing my hands on his solid chest and tipping my face up to meet his stare. We spend a few silent moments gazing at each other before his lips fall to mine, instantly catapulting me to Central Jesse Cloud Nine – my most favourite place in the universe.

I moan, moving my hands up in his hair to hold on to him as he lifts me and secures me against his body, our tongues lapping and circling slowly. He takes me to the bed, laying me beneath him, my hands placed above my head. He doesn’t hold them there, but I know that’s where they’ve got to stay.

He releases my mouth and sits up, leaving me hot, dazed and panting short, sharp breaths.

He looks down at me, the cogs going into overdrive in that beautiful mind of his. I want to know what he’s thinking. He’s been slipping in and out of thoughtfulness for days now.

‘I could sit and watch you writher under my touch all day. ’ he murmurs as he plays with my breast, yanking down the other cup and lavishing it with equal attention.

My nipples twinge, being pulled and elongated by his fingers as he watches himself work me into a crazy wreck, his lips parted and moist. I want them on me now!

‘Stay where you are. ’ He gets up from the bed pulling my knickers off as he goes. I whimper slightly at the loss of his weight from me. Where’s he going? I watch him slowly unbutton the fly on his jeans and drag them down his thighs, kicking them off calmly before drawing his boxer shorts down his legs. I clench my thighs together to control the dull pulse at my core that’s just advanced into a steady throb at the sight of him bared naked and stunningly spectacular in front of me. He crawls back on the bed, parts my thighs and runs his tongue straight up the centre of my sex.

‘Oh God, God God! ’ I cover my face with my palms, sinking my teeth into my own hand as he plunges his tongue into me, withdrawing and circling slowly before dipping back in. I might pass out.

My hips rotate in time to his tempo, seeking further friction, his palm spanning my stomach to keep me from bucking under him. Why did I ever run? Of all the stupid things I could do, running away from this man would get the gold.

He lifts his mouth and blows a cold stream of air across my flesh before returning to his inexorable pattern of torturous pleasure. When my head start thrashing and I make a grab for his hair, he increases the power and I detonate around him, pushing my hips up on reflex and shouting out on a rush of desperate breath. He closes his mouth around my core, literally sucking the pulses out of me as I shake like a leaf and my back arches to breaking point.

Jesse moans in pure gratification. ‘Hmmm, I can feel you throbbing against my tongue, baby. ’

I can’t even talk. The influence he has over my body is extraordinary. I don’t think I’m weak, I think he’s too powerful – he definitely holds the power.

My over worked heart starts to steady its beats, as I weave my fingers through his hair, relishing in his attentive mouth dropping tender kisses down the insides of my thighs, nibbling and sucking as he goes. We’re in tender lover mode, but for how long could be anyone’s guess. I’m not going to try and kid myself that I’ve heard the last of my contraventions from last night, but I’m quite content to lay here with Jesse nuzzling between my legs for as long as he’ll allow. And that’s another thing: it’s always on his terms.

His teeth clamp lightly onto my clitoris and I shudder, hearing him laugh lightly as he kisses his way up my body until he finds my lips, sharing my release with me, brushing his soft lips over mine as he gazes down at me. My arms find his shoulders and accept his weight as he buries his face in my neck and sighs, his raging arousal thumping lightly against my thigh. I shift my hips so it falls to my opening.

‘You make me so crazy mad, lady. ’ he breathes into my neck, lifting himself and slowly driving into me on a stifled moan. I whimper, gripping every muscle around him. ‘Please don’t do that again. ’ He reaches down and snakes his arm under my knee, pulling it up to drape my leg over his shoulder before bracing his upper body on his forearms. Slowly, he withdraws and lazily works his way in again, his eyes fixed on me.

‘I’m sorry. ’ I murmur, circling my hands in his hair.

He pulls back, driving forward on a moan. ‘Ava, everything I do, I do to keep you safe and to keep my sanity. Please listen to me. ’

I moan on another deep, delightful plunge. ‘I will. ’ I confirm, but I’m aware I’m raging with pleasure and, once again, he can make me say anything he wants. I don’t need keeping safe – except, perhaps, from him.

He gazes down at me. ‘I need you. ’ He looks despondent, throwing me out completely. ‘I really need you, baby. ’

I’m mindless on pleasure, totally swallowed up by him, but he can’t keep saying things like that – at least not without elaborating. He’s making my brain a knotted mess of coded statements. Is he getting confused with needing and wanting? I’m past the wanting stage and only mildly afraid that I’ve let myself fall into the realms of really needing this man

‘Why do you need me? ’ My voice is broken and husky.

‘I just do. Please, don’t ever leave me. ’ He plunges forward again, enticing a collective moan.

‘Tell me. ’ I all but groan, clenching at his shoulders, but ensuring I keep my eyes fixed on his. I need more than his confounding brainteasers. These shallow waters are becoming muddy as well.

‘Just accept that I need you and kiss me. ’

I look up at him, torn by my body’s need for him and my brain’s need for information. He’s leisurely working his way in and out of me at the most dreamy pace, gradually encouraging another buildup of pressure to begin. I can’t control it.

‘Ava, kiss me. ’

My body wins. I pull his face down to mine, worshipping his wonderful mouth, as he sinks in and out, rolling his narrow hips each time. The mechanical tense of my body sets in as my pleasure peaks and I start to wobble on the edge of release, short sharp breaths escaping as I try and reign in my impending climax.

‘Not yet, baby. ’ He warns softly, grinding hard on another drive forward.

How does he know? I concentrate hard, but with this music and Jesse working my mouth so delicately, I’m really struggling. I claw my fingers into his shoulders, a wordless signal that I’m tipping the edge. He groans, biting my lip and jerking forward.

‘Together. ’ he mumbles against my mouth. I nod my acceptance as he increases his strokes and carries us both closer to ultimate ecstasy, all the time maintaining his controlled, accurate drives.

‘Nearly there, baby. ’ he moans.

‘Jesse! ’

‘Hold on, just hold on. ’ he says calmly, plunging forward again, executing a painfully deep, delicious rotation of his hips, pushing himself forward as far as he can get.

We both cry out.

‘Now, Ava. ’ He withdraws, driving forward again, harder.

I let it go, feeling him throb and jerk inside me as we swallow each others moans and both roll over, descending into a calm, unhurried fall into nothing. My flesh trembles around his beating cock and my heart is hammering in my chest.

I kiss him adoringly as he relaxes on me, holding my leg over his shoulder and pushing his body further into me, releasing everything he has, moaning in pure, raw pleasure.

The unwelcome invasion of moisture creeps into my eyes, and I fight real hard to prevent them from falling and ruining the moment. He continues to accept my reverent kiss, meeting my slow, sweeping tongue, stroke for stroke. I’m trying to tell him something with this kiss. I’m desperate for him to recognise it.

I love you!

He pulls back, breaking our kiss and frowns at me. ‘What’s the matter? ’ he asks softly, his voice full of concern.

‘Nothing, ’ I reply too quickly, mentally cursing my wretched hand for shifting on the back of his head. He searches my eyes, and I relent on a sigh. ‘What is this? ’ I ask. He’s still moving slowly inside me.

‘What’s what? ’ The confusion in his voice is quite clear. I kick myself for opening my big mouth.

‘I mean me and you. ’ I feel stupid all of a sudden, wanting to retreat under the covers.

His eyes soften and he swivels his hips slowly. ‘This is just you and me. ’ he says simply, like it really is that simple. He kisses me gently, releasing my leg. ‘Are you okay? ’

No, I’m shit! ‘Fine, ’ I reply, more harshly than I intended. Is the man so thick skinned that he can’t see a woman in love when she’s lying underneath him?

You and me, me and you, that much is bloody obvious. I don’t see anyone else in bed with us. I wriggle a little underneath him, and he narrows his sludgy eyes on me.

‘I need a wee. ’ I say in the most convincing I’m-not-pissed tone. I fail miserably.

He latches onto his bottom lip, eyeing me suspiciously, but he pulls out, reluctantly freeing me from beneath him. I reach around to unclasp my bra before I make my way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

Why can’t I just say it? I need to rid my mouth of the words that are causing me so much bloody agony. I mentally slap my sorry arse around the luxurious bathroom and flush my head down the toilet before I go for a wee. I’m such a loser. He must know how I feel. I drop to the feet of this man like a slave, giving my mind and body up to him at the drop of a hat. I don’t believe, not for a moment, that he doesn’t recognise all these signs.

I finish up, presenting my naked form to the mirror. I stare at my reflection. My deep brown eyes are bright again, my olive skin fresh and clear. I brace my hands on the vanity unit, letting out a long sigh. This is not where I planned to be, but I’m here. I’ve been ram-raided in every sense of the word by this man, and I’m skirting precariously close to a broken heart. The thought of my life without him in it… I reach up and rub my chest. The very thought has my heart constricting. Even with all of his challenging ways, I’m hopelessly in love with him – it just is.

I jump when the door opens and he strolls in, all naked and stunningly glorious. He positions himself behind me, resting his hands on my waist, his chin on my shoulder. Our eyes lock together for the longest time.

‘I thought we made friends? ’ he questions on a slight pucker of his beautiful brow.

‘We did. ’ I shrug. I had expected far more retribution than what I just received. Yes, he shredded the taboo dress, but all things considered, he’s been quite reasonable today. It’s quite funny that I can play down a clothes massacre as quite reasonable.

‘Then, why are you sulking? ’

Because you’re thick skinned! ‘I’m not sulking. ’ I say oversensitively. It’s bloody obvious that I am.

He shakes his head on a long tired sigh. What has he got to be tired about? He circles his hips against my lower back. He’s hard again. He’s going to distract me from my sulks with his unreasonable, sexual manipulation. I know it.

‘Ava, you’re the most frustrating woman I’ve ever met. ’ he grumbles.

My eyes widen at his cheek. He thinks I’m frustrating? His mouth clamps onto my neck, penetrating me with heat.

‘Are you holding out on me for a reason, lady? ’

‘No. ’ I breathe. What’s he talking about? I never hold out on him. I give myself up to him, unreservedly and willing, every time. A little gentle persuasion is sometimes required, but he gets what he wants in the end. Holding out?

He reaches down and slowly starts rubbing his palm, up and down, between my thighs. It’s the perfect amount of friction at the perfect tempo. I hold his eyes in the mirror. Fucking hell, I’m gagging for him again. I drop my head back, giving him perfect access to my neck, his tongue working a firm, heavy trail up the column of my throat, circling at the sensitive hollow under my ear.

‘You want it again? ’ he teases in my ear as he works my core.

‘I need you. ’

‘Baby, those words make me so happy. Always? ’

‘Always, ’ I confirm.

He growls his approval. ‘Fuck, I need to be inside you. ’ He yanks my hips forward and positions himself at my entrance before hammering into me on an ear piercing yell that echoes around the vast bathroom.

‘Oh, shit, Jesse! ’ I support myself on the vanity unit, bracing myself for the onslaught.

He crashes forward. ‘Watch…your…mouth! ’

I’m subjected to a relentless, desperate round of punishing blows as he yells like a man possessed, yanking me back, impaling me to the most excruciating depths. My head is spinning, my body abused, and I’m out of my mind on the most intense, painful and pleasurable drug that is Mr Challenging himself. I drop my limp head.

Holy mother fucking GOD!

His hands move to my shoulders. ‘Look at me! ’ he yells, pounding me with a purposeful blow at his demand. I draw in a sharp breath, drag my heavy head up and find him in the mirror, but it’s hard to focus. I’m being thundered forward, my arms struggling to hold me as he slaps against my backside on continuous groans. His frown line is so deep, his neck muscles strained. The demanding, brutal sex Lord has returned.

‘You’ll never hold out on me, will you, Ava? ’ he barks through laboured grunts.

‘No! ’

‘Because you’re never leaving me, are you? ’

Oh, here we go again. All the coded sex talk scrambles my brain more than the formidable assault my body is under. ‘Where the fuck am I going? ’ I scream in frustration on another merciless blow.

‘Mouth! ’ he roars urgently. ‘Say it, Ava! ’

‘Oh God! ’ I cry. My knees buckle and his hands move quickly to my waist, capturing me.

My world goes completely silent as I ride out the vibration of waves that piston through me, so harshly, I think my heart might have ceased from shock.

‘Jesus! ’ He falls to the floor, rolling onto his back so I’m lay across him, my back to his front, his arms sprawled out at his side. I’m being heaved up and down on top of him.

My mind is a foggy, churned up mess and my poor body is wondering what the hell just happened. That was a sense fuck if ever there was one. But for what purpose?

‘I’m fu…’ I snap my mouth shut before I earn myself another scorn, but he still lifts an arm and finds my hip to have a little dig ‘Hey! ’ I complain. I suppressed the urge. It’s an improvement.

He engulfs me in his arms and inhales into my neck. ‘You didn’t say it. ’

‘What? That I won’t leave you? I won’t leave you. Happy? ’

‘Yes, I am, but that’s not what I meant. ’

‘What did you mean? ’

He makes a meal of exhaling deeply into my ear. ‘Never mind, want to go again? ’

I splutter on a laboured breath. He’s joking, right? I know I won’t be able to say no – for a start, he won’t let me, but seriously? I feel the slight jerk of a hushed chuckle under me.

‘Absolutely, I can’t get enough of you. ’ I keep my voice steady and serious.

He freezes under me, but then increases his vice hold on me. ‘I’m glad. I feel exactly the same. But my heart has been through enough in the last twenty four hours, what with your defiance and lack of obedience. I don’t know how much more it can take. ’

There we are; lack of obedience. Control freak! ‘It must be your age. ’ I mutter.

‘Hey, lady, ’ He rolls us over so I’m face down on the bathroom floor and he’s blanketing me. He bites my ear, blowing hot breath into it. ‘My age has nothing to do with it. ’ He chomps at my lobe a bit more as I writher under him. ‘It’s you! ’ he says accusingly, grabbing my hip.

‘No! ’ I scream, making a futile attempt to free myself. ‘Okay, I give in! ’

‘I wish you fucking would. ’ he grumbles, releasing me.

‘Old man, ’ I mutter on a grin.

I’m hoofed to my feet in lightning speed and pushed up the wall, my arms pinned above my head. I purse my lips to suppress my laugh. He narrows his eyes fiercely. ‘I prefer God. ’ he notifies me, hitting me with a heart stopping kiss, thrusting his body against mine and pushing me up the wall.

‘You can be my God. ’

‘I really can’t get enough of you, lady. ’

I smile. ‘Good. ’

‘You’re my ultimate temptress. ’ He swaths my face with his lips, and I sigh against him. ‘Are you hungry? ’ he asks.

‘Yes. ’ I’m famished, actually.

He picks me up and walks over to the vanity unit, placing me gently down. ‘I’ve fucked you, and now I’m going to feed you. ’

My brow knits at his tactlessness. Why not, made love to me and make me a meal?

He leaves me on the unit to turn the shower on. I fall into a daydream, just watching the muscles of his back ripple with his movements.

‘In you get. ’ He holds his hand out. I slide off the unit, taking his hand and letting him lead me into the shower. ‘It kills me to do this. ’ he sighs, taking the natural sponge.

‘What? ’ I hold his shoulder as he kneels in front of me, working up my legs to the insides of my thighs in slow, soapy circles.

‘I hate washing myself off of you. ’ His face is sorrowful. He really means it?

I stand, letting him clean all the traces of him away from me, working carefully, lovingly and flicking me small smiles when he catches me watching him. My hair is shampooed and conditioned, and I take the sponge to return the favour. It takes me a lot longer with his body being a lot bigger than mine, my task hindered further by my need to kiss every square inch of him. He lets me have my way, smiling down at me and squirting more shower gel on the sponge when I hold it out. As normal, I linger over his scar, hoping he will open up to me, but he doesn’t… again. One day, I tell myself – when, I don’t know. Perhaps this will all be over before I ever do know. The thought depresses me. I never want this to be over.

I’m wrapped up in a soft, white towel, showered with light kisses all over my face before he tucks me under his arm and walks us into the bedroom.

‘Put lace on. ’ he says softly, making his way into the wardrobe and appearing a few minutes later in some green, striped lounge pants. I smile. I love him in sludgy green. ‘I’ll meet you in the kitchen. Deal? ’

‘Deal, ’ I confirm quietly. He winks, striding out of the bedroom, leaving me to find my lace. I was actually thinking more along the lines of big knickers and a cosy sweatshirt, but he’s in too good a mood to break it over such a minor detail. Where would my underwear be, anyway? And would Kate have packed lace?

I look around the room for any signs of my bags, seeing nothing. Wandering into the wardrobe, I only find my dresses and shoes. He said a few days. There’s more than a few days’ worth of clothes in here, all hanging neatly in their own little space. I smile at the thought of Jesse making a little gap for me in his vast wardrobe. Did he unpack my things?

I pad back out to one of the two chests of drawers I had made in Italy. Pulling open the first drawer, I find three neat piles of boxer shorts, in black, white and grey – all Armani. They look brand new. I work my way to the next drawer, finding dress socks. Does he have them ironed? I open another to discover belts – all coiled neatly, in every shade of black and brown leather you could imagine.

He’s a neat freak. Oh, this is bad news! I’m shockingly untidy at home. I shut the drawer, opening the last one, but all I find are sports socks and various caps. I proceed to open every drawer on the other chest – all occupied with an array of running shorts and vests.

Giving up and with my towel still wrapped around me, I make my way downstairs to the kitchen, finding Jesse with his head in the fridge.

‘I can’t find my stuff. ’ I inform the fridge door.

His head pops up from behind the fridge, his eyes running up and down my towel clad body. ‘I’ll take naked. ’ he says, shutting the door and sauntering over to me with a jar of peanut butter. ‘Cathy’s off and the fridge is empty. I’ll order in, what do you fancy? ’

‘You, ’ I grin.

He smiles, reaches forward and whips the towel off, throwing it to the side and running his appreciative gaze down my naked body. ‘Your God needs to feed his temptress. ’ He flashes his dancing eyes to mine. ‘The rest of your stuff is in that dirty great big wooden truck that you had dumped in my bedroom. What do you want to eat? ’

I ignore him and shrug. I could eat anything. ‘I’m easy. ’

‘I know, but what do you want to eat? ’

I must stop saying that. ‘I’m only easy with you. ’ I grumble. He thinks I’m easy?

‘You fucking better be. Now, tell me, what do you want to eat? ’

‘I like anything, you choose. What time is it, anyway? ’ I’ve lost all concept of time. In fact, I lose all concept of everything when I’m with him.

‘Seven, go and dry your hair before I abandon dinner and take you again. ’ He turns me around, smacking my backside to send me on my way.

I take my naked body back up the stairs to fulfill his instructions. When I reach the top and take a left to the Master suite, I glance down and see Jesse stood by the archway to the kitchen, quietly watching me. I blow him a kiss as I disappear into the bedroom, just catching a glimpse of his knee trembling smile as he vanishes from view.

Forty five minutes later, my hair’s received the blow-dry it deserves, I’ve cleansed, toned and moisturised, and I’ve got a clean set of lace underwear on. Kate’s forgotten to pack any comfy chill out clothes – of all the things she could forget. But then, Jesse did hijack her at some God forsaken hour this morning, so she probably just shoved in whatever she could lay her hands on. I have my new Thai fisherman pants but no top.

I go to the wardrobe and grab a white shirt. I don’t pick the most expensive one this time, although I’m sure they’re all pretty costly.

‘I was just coming to find you. ’ He pauses from forking various dishes onto two plates. ‘I like your shirt. ’

‘Kate didn’t pack me any slobby clothes. ’

‘She didn’t? ’ He raises an eyebrow, and I know instantly, Kate did pack me some slobby clothes. That or she didn’t pack at all – I suspect it’s the latter. ‘Where do you want to eat? ’

‘I’m e…’ I snap my mouth shut on a shrug.

‘Only for me, yes? ’ He grins, shoving a bottle of water under his arm and picking up the plates. ‘We’ll slum it on the sofa. ’ He leads me into the colossal open space and nods at the gigantic sofa. I sit in the corner section, accepting the plate he hands me. It smells delicious and it’s Chinese. Perfect.

The doors on the massive television cabinet start sliding across, revealing the biggest, frameless, flat screen T. V I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

‘Do you want to watch television or would you prefer music and conversation? ’ He looks at me on a small smile. My fork is hanging out of my mouth. I didn’t realise how hungry I was.

I chew and swallow as soon as I can. ‘I’ll take music and conversation, please. ’ That was an easy choice. He nods, like he knew that would be my answer, and the next thing I know, the room is swamped in the calming tones of Mumford and Sons. This is a surprise. I cross my legs and sit back. I made a good choice with this sofa.

‘Good? ’

I glance over and find him facing me, one knee up and his arm resting on the back of the sofa holding his plate. ‘Very, you don’t cook? ’

‘I don’t. ’

I smile around my fork. ‘Why, Mr Ward, is that something you don’t do well? ’

‘I can’t be amazing at everything. ’ he says, completely straight faced, studying me closely. He really is an over-confident arse.

‘Your housekeeper cooks for you? ’

‘If I ask her to, but most of the time I eat at The Manor. ’

I suppose it makes sense that he’d take advantage of the lovely food at his disposal. I know I would. ‘How old are you? ’

He pauses with his fork midway to his mouth. ‘Thirty-ish, ’ He takes his forkful of food, watching me as he chews.

‘-ish, ’ I mouth.

‘Yes, ish, ’ A smile plays on the corners of his lips.

I return to my food, not in the least bit bothered by his vague answer. I’ll keep asking; he’ll keep evading. Maybe I should try with my own versions of persuasion – maybe a truth fuck or a countdown? What would I do to him on zero? I drift into musing over exactly what I could do on zero, between mouthfuls of my Chinese dinner. I can think of plenty, but nothing I could carry out with ease. He’d overpower me, very easily. The countdown is off the menu, so it’s a truth fuck then. I need to invent the truth fuck. What could I do?

‘Ava? ’

I look up, finding Jesse and his frown line studying me. ‘Yes? ’

‘Dreaming? ’ he asks, his voice laced with concern.

‘Sorry. ’ I put my fork down. ‘I was miles away. ’

‘You were, ’ He takes my plate and slides it onto the coffee table. ‘Where were you? ’ He reaches over to pull me into his lap.

I snuggle happily. ‘Nowhere. ’

He shifts up the sofa, taking my place in the corner, positioning me under his arm. I rest my cheek on his bare chest, throw my leg over his groin and inhale him in his entire fresh water splendor. I sigh, letting the soft music and the feel of Jesse ease me into a peaceful rest.

‘I love having you here. ’ he says quietly, playing with a lock of my hair.

I really love being here too, but not as a puppet. Would it always be like this? I could do exactly this, day in, day out – it’s been a lovely day. But could I live with the controlling, unreasonable side of him? I run my finger along the line of his scar.

‘I love being here too. ’ I whisper. I really do, especially when he’s like this.

‘Good. So you’ll stay? ’

What? Tonight? ‘Yes. Tell me how you got this. ’

He reaches down, clasping my hand to prevent any further touching of the area. ‘Ava, I really don’t like talking about it. ’

Oh? ‘I’m sorry. ’ I feel bad. That was a plea. Something terrible happened to him, and it makes me feel sick to know that he was hurt in some way.

He pulls my hand up to his face and kisses my palm. ‘Please, don’t be. It’s not something that’s important to the here and now. Dragging up my past serves no purpose other than to remind me of it. ’

His past? So, he has a past? Well, everyone has a past, but the way he said it and the fact that we’re talking about a vicious scar here makes me really nervous. I look up at him. ‘What did you mean when you said that things are easier to bear when I’m here? ’

He looks down and places his hand on the back of my head, pushing my cheek back down to his chest. ‘It means I like having you around. ’ His tone is dismissive. I don’t believe him for a minute, but I leave it anyway. Does it matter?

I push my lips into the void between his pecs, nuzzling into him, while giving myself a mental ticking off. I’m basking in the sun on Central Jesse Cloud Nine, and I’m loving every minute of it, until the need for another countdown or a sense fuck.

And it will come – I have no doubt.

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