A Man Could Stand Up 4 страница

Yet the idea of commanding divisional transport was like a vision of Paradise to Tietjens. For two reasons: it was relatively safe, being concerned with a lot of horses… and the knowledge that he had that employment would put Valentine Wannop's mind at rest.

Paradise! … But could one wangle out of a hard into a soft job? Some other poor devil very likely wanted it. On the other hand—think of Valentine Wannop! He imagined her torture of mind, wandering about London, thinking of him in the very worst spot of a doomed army. She would get to hear of that. Sylvia would tell her! He would bet Sylvia would ring her up and tell her. Imagine, then, writing to Mark to say that he was with the transport! Mark would pass it on to the girl within half a minute. Why… he, Tietjens, would wire. He imagined himself scribbling the wire while the general talked and giving it to an orderly the moment the talk was over… But could he put the idea into the old man's head! Is it done? … Would, say… say, an Anglican saint do it?

And then… Was he up to the job? What about the accursed obsession of 0 Nine Morgan that intermittently jumped on him? All the while he had been riding Schomburg the day before, 0 Nine Morgan had seemed to be just before the coffin-headed brute's off-shoulder. The animal must fall! … He had had the passionate impulse to pull up the horse. And all the time a dreadful depression! A weight! In the hotel last night he had nearly fainted over the thought that Morgan might have been the man whose life he had spared at Noircourt… It was getting to be a serious matter! It might mean that there was a crack in his, Tietjens', brain. A lesion! If that was to go on… 0 Nine Morgan, dirty as he always was, and with the mystified eyes of the subject races on his face, rising up before his horse's off-shoulder! But alive, not with half his head cut away… If that was to go on he would not be fit to deal with transport, which meant a great deal of riding.

But he would chance that… Besides, some damn fool of a literary civilian had been writing passionate letters to the papers insisting that all horses and mules must be abolished in the army… Because of their pestilence-spreading dung! … It might be decreed by A. C. I. that no more horses were to be used! … Imagine taking battalion supplies down by night with motor lorries, which was what that genius desired to see done! …

He remembered once or twice—it must have been in September, '16—having had the job of taking battalion transport down from Locre to B. H. Q., which were in the châ teau of Kemmell village… You muffled every bit of metal you could think of: bits, trace-chains, axles… and yet, whilst you hardly breathed, in the thick darkness some damn thing would always chink and jolt; beef tins made a noise of old iron… And bang, after a long whine, would come the German shell, registered exactly on to the corner of the road where it went down by the shoulder of the hill: where the placards were ordering you not to go more than two men together… Imagine doing it with lorries, that could be heard five miles away! … The battalion would go pretty short of rations! … The same antichevaline genius had emitted the sentiment that he had rather the Allies lost the war than that cavalry should distinguish themselves in any engagement! … A wonderful passion for the extermination of dung…! Or perhaps this hatred of the horse was social… Because the cavalry wear long moustaches dripping with Macassar oil and breakfast off caviare, chocolate and Pommery Greno they must be abolished! … Something like that… He exclaimed: “By God! How my mind wanders! How long will it go on? ” He said: “I am at the end of my tether. ” He had missed what the general had said for some time.

The general said:

“Well. Has he? ”

Tietjens said:

“I didn't catch, sir! ”

“Are you deaf? ” the general asked. “I'm sure I speak plain enough. You've just said there are no horses attached to this camp. I asked you if there is not a horse for the colonel commanding the depot… A German horse, I understand! ”

Tietjens said to himself:

“Great heavens! I've been talking to him. What in the world about? ” It was as if his mind were falling off a hillside. He said:

“Yes, sir… Schomburg. But as that's a German prisoner, captured on the Marne, it is not on our strength. It is the private property of the colonel. I ride it myself…”

The general exclaimed dryly:

“You would…” He added more dryly still: “Are you aware that there is a hell of a strafe put in against you by a R. A. S. C. second-lieutenant called Hotchkiss? …”

Tietjens said quickly:

“If it's over Schomburg, sir… it's a washout. Lieutenant Hotchkiss has no more right to give orders about him than as to where I shall sleep… And I would rather die than subject any horse for which I am responsible to the damnable torture Hotchkiss and that swine Lord Beichan want to inflict on service horses…”

The general said maleficently:

“It looks as if you damn well will die on that account! ”

He added: “You're perfectly right to object to wrong treatment of horses. But in this case your objection blocks the only other job open to you. ” He quietened himself a little. “You are probably not aware, ” he went on, “that your brother Mark…”

Tietjens said:

“Yes, I am aware…”

The general said: “Do you know that the 19th Division to which your brother wants you sent is attached to Fourth Army now—and it's Fourth Army horses that Hotchkiss is to play with? … How could I send you there to be under his orders? ”

Tietjens said:

“That's perfectly correct, sir. There is nothing else that you can do…” He was finished. There was now nothing left but to find out how his mind was going to take it. He wished they could go to his cook-houses!

The general said:

“What was I saying? … I'm dreadfully tired… No one could stand this…” He drew from inside his tunic a lapis-lazuli coloured, small be-coroneted note-case and selected from it a folded paper that he first looked at and then slipped between his belt and his tunic. He said: “On top of all the responsibility I have to bear! ” He asked: “Has it occurred to you that, if I'm of any service to the country, your taking up my energy—sapping my energy over your affairs! —is aiding your country's enemies? … I can only afford four hours sleep as it is… I've got some questions to ask you…” He referred to the slip of paper from his belt, folded it again and again slipped it into his belt.

Tietjens' mind missed a notch again… It was the fear of the mud that was going to obsess him. Yet, curiously, he had never been under heavy fire in mud… You would think that that would not have obsessed him. But in his ear he had just heard uttered in a whisper of intense weariness, the words: Es ist nicht zu ertragen; es ist das dasz uns verloren hat… words in German, of utter despair, meaning: It is unbearable: it is that that has ruined us… The mud! … He had heard those words, standing amidst volcano craters of mud, amongst ravines, monstrosities of slime, cliffs and distances, all of slime… He had been going, for curiosity or instruction, from Verdun where he had been attached to the French—on a holiday afternoon when nothing was doing, with a guide, to visit one of the outlying forts… Deaumont? … No, Douaumont… Taken from the enemy about a week before… When would that be? He had lost all sense of chronology… In November… A beginning of some November… With a miracle of sunshine: not a cloud: the mud towering up shut you in intimately with a sky that ached for limpidity… And the slime had moved… following a French bombardier who was strolling along eating nuts, disreputably, his shoulders rolling… Dé serteurs… The moving slime was German deserters… You could not see them: the leader of them—an officer! —had his glasses so thick with mud that you could not see the colour of his eyes, and his half-dozen decorations were like the beginnings of swallows' nests, his beard like stalactites… Of the other men you could only see the eyes—extraordinarily vivid: mostly blue like the sky! … Deserters! Led by an officer! Of the Hamburg Regiment! As if an officer of the Buffs had gone over! … It was incredible… And that was what the officer had said as he passed: not shamefacedly, but without any humanity left in him… Done! … Those moving saurians compacted of slime kept on passing him afterwards, all the afternoon… And he could not help picturing their immediate antecedents for two months… In advanced pill-boxes… No, they didn't have pill-boxes then… In advanced pockets of mud, in dreadful solitude amongst those ravines… suspended in eternity, at the last day of the world. And it had horribly shocked him to hear again the German language, a rather soft voice, a little suety… Like an obscene whisper… The voice obviously of the damned: hell could hold nothing curious for those poor beasts… His French guide had said sardonically: On dirait l'Inferno de Dante! … Well, those Germans were getting back on him. They were now to become an obsession! A complex, they said nowadays… The general said coolly:

“I presume you refuse to answer? ”

That shook him cruelly.

He said desperately:

“I had to end what I took to be an unbearable position for both parties. In the interests of my son! ” Why in the world had he said that? … He was going to be sick. It came back to him that the general had been talking of his separation from Sylvia. Last night that had happened. He said: “I may have been right: I may have been wrong…”

The general said icily:

“If you don't choose to go into it…”

Tietjens said:

“I would prefer not to…”

The general said:

“There is no end to this… But there are questions it's my duty to ask… If you do not wish to go into your marital relations, I cannot force you… But, damn it, are you sane? Are you responsible? Do you intend to get Miss Wannop to live with you before the war is over? Is she, perhaps, here, in the town, now? Is that your reason for separating from Sylvia? Now, of all times in the world! ”

Tietjens said:

“No, sir. I ask you to believe that I have absolutely no relations with that young lady. None! I have no intention of having any. None! …”

The general said:

“I believe that! ”

“Circumstances last night, ” Tietjens said, “convinced me suddenly, there on the spot, that I had been wronging my wife… I had been putting a strain on the lady that was unwarrantable. It humiliates me to have to say it! I had taken a certain course for the sake of the future of our child. But it was an atrociously wrong course. We ought to have separated years ago. It has led to the lady's pulling the strings of all these shower-baths…”

The general said:

“Pulling the…”

Tietjens said:

“It expresses it, sir… Last night was nothing but pulling the string of a shower-bath. Perfectly justifiable. I maintain that it was perfectly justifiable. ”

The general said:

“Then why have you given her Groby? … You're not a little soft, are you? … You don't imagine you've… say, got a mission? Or that you're another person? … That you have to… to forgive…” He took off his pretty hat and wiped his forehead with a tiny cambric handkerchief. He said: “Your poor mother was a little…”

He said suddenly:

“To-night when you are coming to my dinner… I hope you'll be decent. Why do you so neglect your personal appearance? Your tunic is a disgusting spectacle…”

Tietjens said:

“I had a better tunic, sir… but it has been ruined by the blood of the man who was killed here last night…”

The general said:

“You don't say you have only two tunics? … Have you no mess clothes? ”

Tietjens said:

“Yes, sir, I've my blue things. I shall be all right for to-night… But almost everything else I possessed was stolen from my kit when I was in hospital… Even Sylvia's two pair of sheets…”

“But hang it all, ” the general exclaimed, “you don't mean to say you've spaflled all your father left you? ”

Tietjens said:

“I thought fit to refuse what my father left me owing to the way it was left…”

The general said:

“But, good God! … Read that! ” He tossed the small sheet of paper at which he had been looking across the table. It fell face downwards. Tietjens read, in the minute handwriting of the general's:

“Colonel's horse: Sheets: Jesus Christ: Wannop girl: Socialism? ”

The general said irritably:

“The other side… the other side…”

The other side of the paper displayed the words in large capitals: WORKERS OF THE WORLD, a wood-cut of a sickle and some other objects. Then high treason for a page.

The general said:

“Have you ever seen anything like that before? Do you know what it is? ”

Tietjens answered:

“Yes, sir. I sent that to you. To your Intelligence…” The general thumped both his fists violently on the army blanket:

“You…” he said. “It's incomprehensible… It's incredible…”

Tietjens said:

“No, sir… You sent out an order asking commanders of units to ascertain what attempts were being made by Socialists to undermine the discipline of their other ranks… I naturally asked my sergeant-major, and he produced this sheet, which one of the men had given to him as a curiosity. It had been handed to the man in the street in London. You can see my initials on the top of the sheet! ”

The general said:

“You… you'll excuse me, but you're not a Socialist yourself? ”

Tietjens said:

“I knew you were working round to that, sir. But I've no politics that did not disappear in the eighteenth century. You, sir, prefer the seventeenth! ”

“Another shower-bath, I suppose, ” the general said.

“Of course, ” Tietjens said, “if it's Sylvia that called me a Socialist, it's not astonishing. I'm a Tory of such an extinct type that she might take me for anything. The last megatherium. She's absolutely to be excused…”

The general was not listening. He said:

“What was wrong with the way your father left his money to you? ”

“My father, ” Tietjens said—the general saw his jaw stiffen—”committed suicide because a fellow called Ruggles told him that I was… what the French called maquereau… I can't think of the English word. My father's suicide was not an act that can be condoned. A gentleman does not commit suicide when he has descendants. It might influence my boy's life very disastrously…”

The general said:

“I can't… I can't get to the bottom of all this… What in the world did Ruggles want to go and tell your father that for? … What are you going to do for a living after the war? They won't take you back into your office, will they? ”

Tietjens said:

“No, sir. The Department will not take me back. Every one who has served in this war will be a marked man for a long time after it is over. That's proper enough. We're having our fun now. ”

The general said:

“You say the wildest things. ”

Tietjens answered:

“You generally find the things I say come true, sir. Could we get this over? Ruggles told my father what he did because it is not a good thing to belong to the seventeenth or eighteenth centuries in the twentieth. Or really, because it is not good to have taken one's public-school's ethical system seriously. I am really, sir, the English public schoolboy. That's an eighteenth-century product. What with the love of truth that—God help me! —they rammed into me at Clifton and the belief Arnold forced upon Rugby that the vilest of sins—the vilest of all sins—is to peach to the head master! That's me, sir. Other men get over their schooling. I never have. I remain adolescent. These things are obsessions with me. Complexes, sir! ”

The general said:

“All this seems to be very wild… What's this about peaching to a head master? ”

Tietjens said:

“For a swan song, it's not wild, sir. You're asking for a swan song. I am to go up into the line so that the morals of the troops in your command may not be contaminated by the contemplation of my marital infelicities. ”

The general said:

“You don't want to go back to England, do you? ” Tietjens exclaimed:

“Certainly not! Very certainly not! I can never go home. I have to go underground somewhere. If I went back to England there would be nothing for me but going underground by suicide. ”

The general said:

“You see all that? I can give you testimonials…”

Tietjens asked:

“Who couldn't see that it's impossible? ”

The general said:

“But… suicide! You won't do that. As you said: think of your son. ”

Tietjens said:

“No, sir. I shan't do that. But you see how bad for one's descendants suicide is. That is why I do not forgive my father. Before he did it I should never have contemplated the idea. Now I have contemplated it. That's a weakening of the moral fibre. It's contemplating a fallacy as a possibility. For suicide is no remedy for a twisted situation of a psychological kind. It is for bankruptcy. Or for military disaster. For the man of action, not for the thinker. Creditors' meetings wipe the one out. Military operations sweep on. But my problem will remain the same whether I'm here or not. For it's insoluble. It's the whole problem of the relations of the sexes. ”

The general said:

“Good God! …”

Tietjens said:

“No, sir, I've not gone off my chump. That's my problem! … But I'm a fool to talk so much… It's because I don't know what to say. ”

The general sat staring at the tablecloth: his face was suffused with blood. He had the appearance of a man in monstrous ill-humour. He said:

“You had better say what you want to say. What the devil do you mean? … What's this all about? …”

Tietjens said:

“I'm enormously sorry, sir. It's difficult to make myself plain. ”

The general said:

“Neither of us do. What is language for? What the hell is language for? We go round and round. I suppose I'm an old fool who cannot understand your modern ways… But you're not modern. I'll do you that justice… That beastly little McKechnie is modern… I shall ram him into your divisional-transport job, so that he won't incommode you in your battalion… Do you understand what the little beast did? He got leave to go and get a divorce. And then did not get a divorce. That's modernism. He said he had scruples. I understand that he and his wife and… some dirty other fellow… slept three in a bed. That's modern scruples…”

Tietjens said:

“No sir, it's not really… But what is a man to do if his wife is unfaithful to him? ”

The general said as if it were an insult:

“Divorce the harlot! Or live with her! …” Only a beast he went on, would expect a woman to live all her life alone in a cockloft! She's bound to die. Or go on the streets… What sort of a fellow wouldn't see that? Was there any sort of beast who'd expect a woman to live… with a man beside her… Why, she'd… she'd be bound to… He'd have to take the consequences of whatever happened. The general repeated: “Whatever happened! If she pulled all the strings of all the shower-baths in the world! ”

Tietjens said:

“Still, sir… there are… there used to be… in families of… position… a certain…” He stopped.

The general said:

“Well…”

Tietjens said:

“On the part of the man… a certain… Call it… parade! ”

The general said:

“Then there had better be no more parades…” He said: “Damn it! … Besides us, all women are saints… Think of what child-bearing is. I know the world… Who would stand that? … You? … I… I'd rather be the last poor devil in Perry' lines! ”

He looked at Tietjens with a sort of injurious cunning: “Why don't you divorce? ” he asked.

Panic came over Tietjens. He knew it would be his last panic of that interview. No brain could stand more. Fragments of scenes of fighting, voices, names, went before his eyes and ears. Elaborate problems… The whole map of the embattled world ran out in front of him—as large as a field. An embossed map in greenish papier mâ ché —a ten-acre field of embossed papier mâ ché : with the blood of O Nine Morgan blurring luminously over it. Years before… How many months? … Nineteen, to be exact, he had sat on some tobacco plants on the Mont de Kats… No, the Montagne Noire. In Belgium… What had he been doing? … Trying to get the lie of the land… No… Waiting to point out positions to some fat home general who had never come. The Belgian proprietor of the tobacco plants had arrived, and had screamed his head off over the damaged plants…

But, up there you saw the whole war… Infinite miles away, over the sullied land that the enemy forces held: into Germany proper. Presumably you could breathe in Germany proper… Over your right shoulder you could see a stump of a tooth. The Cloth Hall at Ypres: at an angle of 50° below… Dark lines behind it… The German trenches before Wytschaete!

That was before the great mines had blown Wytschaete to hell…

But—every half-minute by his wrist-watch—white puffs of cotton-wool existed on the dark lines—the German trenches before Wytschaete. Our artillery practice… Good shooting. Jolly good shooting!

Miles and miles away to the left… beneath the haze of light that, on a clouded day, the sea threw off, a shaft of sunlight fell, and was reflected in a grey blue… It was the glass roofs of a great airplane shelter!

A great plane, the largest he had then seen, was moving over, behind his back, with four little planes as an escort… Over the vast slag-heaps by Bethune… High, purplish-blue heaps, like the steam domes of engines or the breasts of women… Bluish purple. More blue than purple… Like all Franco-Belgian Gobelins tapestry… And all quiet… Under the vast pall of quiet cloud! …

There were shells dropping in Poperinghe… Five miles out, under his nose… The shells dropped. White vapour rose and ran away in plumes… What sort of shells? … There were twenty different kinds of shells…

The Huns were shelling Poperinghe! A senseless cruelty. It was five miles behind the lines! Prussian brutality… There were two girls who kept a tea-shop in Poperinghe… High coloured… General Plumer had liked them… a fine old general… The shells had killed them both… Any man might have slept with either of them with pleasure and profit… Six thousand of H. M. officers must have thought the same about those high-coloured girls. Good girls! … But the Hun shells got them… What sort of fate was that? … To be desired by six thousand men and smashed into little gobbets of flesh by Hun shells?

It appeared to be mere Prussianism—the senseless cruelty of the Hun! —to shell Poperinghe. An innocent town with a tea-shop five miles behind Ypres… Little noiseless plumes of smoke rising under the quiet blanketing of the pale maroon skies, with the haze from the aeroplane shelters, and the great aeroplanes over the Bethune slag-heaps… What a dreadful name—Bethune…

Probably, however, the Germans had heard that we were massing men in Poperinghe. It was reasonable to shell a town where men were being assembled… Or we might have been shelling one of their towns with an Army H. Q. in it. So they shelled Poperinghe in the silent grey day… That was according to the rules of the service… General Campion, accepting with equanimity what German airplanes did to the hospitals, camps, stables, brothels, theatres, boulevards, chocolate stalls and hotels of his town, would have been vastly outraged if Hun planes had dropped bombs on his private lodgings… The rules of war! … You spare, mutually, each other's headquarters and blow to pieces girls that are desired by six thousand men apiece…

That had been nineteen months before! … Now, having lost so much emotion, he saw the embattled world as a map… An embossed map of greenishpapier mâ ché . The blood of 0 Nine Morgan was blurring luminously over it. At the extreme horizon was territory labelled White Ruthenians! Who the devil were those poor wretches?

He exclaimed to himself: “By heavens! Is this epilepsy? ” He prayed: “Blessed saints, get me spared that! ” He exclaimed: “No, it isn't! … I've complete control of my mind. My uppermost mind. ” He said to the general:

“I can't divorce, sir. I've no grounds. ”

The general said:

“Don't lie. You know what Thurston knows. Do you mean that you have been guilty of contributory misconduct? … Whatever it is? And can't divorce! I don't believe it. ”

Tietjens said to himself:

“Why the devil am I so anxious to shield the whore? It's not reasonable. It is an obsession! ”

White Ruthenians are miserable people to the south of Lithuania. You don't know whether they incline to the Germans or to the Poles. The Germans don't even know… The Germans were beginning to take their people out of the line where we were weak: they were going to give them proper infantry training. That gave him, Tietjens, a chance. They would not come over strong for at least two months. It meant, though, a great offensive in the spring. Those fellows had sense. In the poor, beastly trenches the Tommies knew nothing but how to chuck bombs. Both sides did that. But the Germans were going to cure it! Stood chucking bombs at each other from forty yards. The rifle was obsolete! Ha! ha! Obsolete! … The civilian psychology!

The general said:

“No, I don't believe it. I knew you did not keep any girl in any tobacco-shop. I remember every word you said at Rye in 1912. I wasn't sure then. I am now. You tried to let me think it. You had shut up your house because of your wife's misbehaviour. You let me believe you had been sold up. You weren't sold up at all. ”

… Why should it be the civilian psychology to chuckle with delight, uproariously, when the imbecile idea was promulgated that the rifle was obsolete? Why should public opinion force on the War Office a training-camp course that completely cut out any thorough instruction in the rifle and communication drill? It was queer… It was of course disastrous. Queer. Not altogether mean. Pathetic, too…

“Love of truth! ” the general said. “Doesn't that include a hatred for white lies? No; I suppose it doesn't, or your servants could not say you were not at home…”

… Pathetic! Tietjens said to himself. Naturally the civilian population wanted soldiers to be made to look like fools: and to be done in. They wanted the war won by men who would at the end be either humiliated or dead. Or both. Except, naturally, their own cousins or fiancé es' relatives. That was what it came to. That was what it meant when important gentlemen said that they had rather the war were lost than that cavalry should gain any distinction in it! … But it was partly the simple, pathetic illusion of the day that great things could only be done by new inventions. You extinguished the Horse, invented something very simple and became God! That is the real pathetic fallacy. You fill a flower-pot with gunpowder and chuck it in the other fellow's face, and heigh presto! the war is won. All the soldiers fall down dead! And You: you who forced the idea on the reluctant military, are the Man that Won the War. You deserve all the women in the world. And… you get them! Once the cavalry are out of the way! …

The general was using the words:

“Head master! ” It brought Tietjens completely back. He said collectedly:

“Really, sir, why this strafe of yours is so terribly long is that it embraces the whole of life. ”

The general said:

“You're not going to drag a red herring across the trail… I say you regarded me as a head master in 1912. Now I am your commanding officer—which is the same thing. You must not peach to me. That's what you call the Arnold of Rugby touch… But who was it said: Magna est veritas et prev… Prev something! ”

Tietjens said:

“I don't remember, sir. ”

The general said:

“What was the secret grief your mother had? In 1912? She died of it. She wrote to me just before her death and said she had great troubles. And begged me to look after you, very specially! Why did she do that? ” He paused and meditated. He asked: “How do you define Anglican sainthood? The other fellows have canonizations, all shipshape like Sandhurst examinations. But us Anglicans… I've heard fifty persons say your mother was a saint. She was. But why? ”

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