The Pickwick Papers 53 страница

The delicate nature of this commission, and the difficulty of executing it in a satisfactory manner, were by no means lessened by the voluntary companionship of Mr. Bob Sawyer. Truth to tell, Mr. Pickwick felt that his presence on the occasion, however considerate and gratifying, was by no means an honour he would willingly have sought; in fact, he would cheerfully have given a reasonable sum of money to have had Mr. Bob Sawyer removed to any place at not less than fifty miles” distance, without delay.

Mr. Pickwick had never held any personal communication with Mr. Winkle, senior, although he had once or twice corresponded with him by letter, and returned satisfactory answers to his inquiries concerning the moral character and behaviour of his son; he felt nervously sensible that to wait upon him, for the first time, attended by Bob Sawyer and Ben Allen, both slightly fuddled, was not the most ingenious and likely means that could have been hit upon to prepossess him in his favour.

“However, ” said Mr. Pickwick, endeavouring to reassure himself, “I must do the best I can. I must see him to-night, for I faithfully promised to do so. If they persist in accompanying me, I must make the interview as brief as possible, and be content that, for their own sakes, they will not expose themselves. ”

As he comforted himself with these reflections, the chaise stopped at the door of the Old Royal. Ben Allen having been partially awakened from a stupendous sleep, and dragged out by the collar by Mr. Samuel Weller, Mr. Pickwick was enabled to alight. They were shown to a comfortable apartment, and Mr. Pickwick at once propounded a question to the waiter concerning the whereabout of Mr. Winkle's residence.

“Close by, Sir, ” said the waiter, “not above five hundred yards, Sir. Mr. Winkle is a wharfinger, Sir, at the canal, sir. Private residence is not—oh dear, no, sir, not five hundred yards, sir. ” Here the waiter blew a candle out, and made a feint of lighting it again, in order to afford Mr. Pickwick an opportunity of asking any further questions, if he felt so disposed. “Take anything now, Sir? ” said the waiter, lighting the candle in desperation at Mr. Pickwick's silence. “Tea or coffee, Sir? Dinner, sir? ”

“Nothing now. ”

“Very good, sir. Like to order supper, Sir? ”

“Not just now. ”

“Very good, Sir. ” Here, he walked slowly to the door, and then stopping short, turned round and said, with great suavity—

“Shall I send the chambermaid, gentlemen? ”

“You may if you please, ” replied Mr. Pickwick.

“If YOU please, sir. ”

“And bring some soda-water, ” said Bob Sawyer.

“Soda-water, Sir! Yes, Sir. ” With his mind apparently relieved from an overwhelming weight, by having at last got an order for something, the waiter imperceptibly melted away. Waiters never walk or run. They have a peculiar and mysterious power of skimming out of rooms, which other mortals possess not.

Some slight symptoms of vitality having been awakened in Mr. Ben Allen by the soda-water, he suffered himself to be prevailed upon to wash his face and hands, and to submit to be brushed by Sam. Mr. Pickwick and Bob Sawyer having also repaired the disorder which the journey had made in their apparel, the three started forth, arm in arm, to Mr. Winkle's; Bob Sawyer impregnating the atmosphere with tobacco smoke as he walked along.

About a quarter of a mile off, in a quiet, substantial-looking street, stood an old red brick house with three steps before the door, and a brass plate upon it, bearing, in fat Roman capitals, the words, “Mr. Winkle. “The steps were very white, and the bricks were very red, and the house was very clean; and here stood Mr. Pickwick, Mr. Benjamin Allen, and Mr. Bob Sawyer, as the clock struck ten.

A smart servant-girl answered the knock, and started on beholding the three strangers.

“Is Mr. Winkle at home, my dear? ” inquired Mr. Pickwick.

“He is just going to supper, Sir, ” replied the girl.

“Give him that card if you please, ” rejoined Mr. Pickwick. “Say I am sorry to trouble him at so late an hour; but I am anxious to see him to-night, and have only just arrived. ” The girl looked timidly at Mr. Bob Sawyer, who was expressing his admiration of her personal charms by a variety of wonderful grimaces; and casting an eye at the hats and greatcoats which hung in the passage, called another girl to mind the door while she went upstairs. The sentinel was speedily relieved; for the girl returned immediately, and begging pardon of the gentlemen for leaving them in the street, ushered them into a floor-clothed back parlour, half office and half dressing room, in which the principal useful and ornamental articles of furniture were a desk, a washhand stand and shaving-glass, a boot-rack and boot-jack, a high stool, four chairs, a table, and an old eight-day clock. Over the mantelpiece were the sunken doors of an iron safe, while a couple of hanging shelves for books, an almanac, and several files of dusty papers, decorated the walls.

“Very sorry to leave you standing at the door, Sir, ” said the girl, lighting a lamp, and addressing Mr. Pickwick with a winning smile, “but you was quite strangers to me; and we have such a many trampers that only come to see what they can lay their hands on, that really—”

“There is not the least occasion for any apology, my dear, ” said Mr. Pickwick good-humouredly.

“Not the slightest, my love, ” said Bob Sawyer, playfully stretching forth his arms, and skipping from side to side, as if to prevent the young lady's leaving the room.

The young lady was not at all softened by these allurements, for she at once expressed her opinion, that Mr. Bob Sawyer was an “odous creetur; ” and, on his becoming rather more pressing in his attentions, imprinted her fair fingers upon his face, and bounced out of the room with many expressions of aversion and contempt.

Deprived of the young lady's society, Mr. Bob Sawyer proceeded to divert himself by peeping into the desk, looking into all the table drawers, feigning to pick the lock of the iron safe, turning the almanac with its face to the wall, trying on the boots of Mr. Winkle, senior, over his own, and making several other humorous experiments upon the furniture, all of which afforded Mr. Pickwick unspeakable horror and agony, and yielded Mr. Bob Sawyer proportionate delight.

At length the door opened, and a little old gentleman in a snuff-coloured suit, with a head and face the precise counterpart of those belonging to Mr. Winkle, junior, excepting that he was rather bald, trotted into the room with Mr. Pickwick's card in one hand, and a silver candlestick in the other.

“Mr. Pickwick, sir, how do you do? ” said Winkle the elder, putting down the candlestick and proffering his hand. “Hope I see you well, sir. Glad to see you. Be seated, Mr. Pickwick, I beg, Sir. This gentleman is—”

“My friend, Mr. Sawyer, ” interposed Mr. Pickwick, “your son's friend. ”

“Oh, ” said Mr. Winkle the elder, looking rather grimly at Bob. “I hope you are well, sir. ”

“Right as a trivet, sir, ” replied Bob Sawyer.

“This other gentleman, ” cried Mr. Pickwick, “is, as you will see when you have read the letter with which I am intrusted, a very near relative, or I should rather say a very particular friend of your son's. His name is Allen. ”

“THAT gentleman? ” inquired Mr. Winkle, pointing with the card towards Ben Allen, who had fallen asleep in an attitude which left nothing of him visible but his spine and his coat collar.

Mr. Pickwick was on the point of replying to the question, and reciting Mr. Benjamin Allen's name and honourable distinctions at full length, when the sprightly Mr. Bob Sawyer, with a view of rousing his friend to a sense of his situation, inflicted a startling pinch upon the fleshly part of his arm, which caused him to jump up with a shriek. Suddenly aware that he was in the presence of a stranger, Mr. Ben Allen advanced and, shaking Mr. Winkle most affectionately by both hands for about five minutes, murmured, in some half-intelligible fragments of sentences, the great delight he felt in seeing him, and a hospitable inquiry whether he felt disposed to take anything after his walk, or would prefer waiting “till dinner-time; ” which done, he sat down and gazed about him with a petrified stare, as if he had not the remotest idea where he was, which indeed he had not.

All this was most embarrassing to Mr. Pickwick, the more especially as Mr. Winkle, senior, evinced palpable astonishment at the eccentric—not to say extraordinary—behaviour of his two companions. To bring the matter to an issue at once, he drew a letter from his pocket, and presenting it to Mr. Winkle, senior, said—

“This letter, Sir, is from your son. You will see, by its contents, that on your favourable and fatherly consideration of it, depend his future happiness and welfare. Will you oblige me by giving it the calmest and coolest perusal, and by discussing the subject afterwards with me, in the tone and spirit in which alone it ought to be discussed? You may judge of the importance of your decision to your son, and his intense anxiety upon the subject, by my waiting upon you, without any previous warning, at so late an hour; and, ” added Mr. Pickwick, glancing slightly at his two companions—“and under such unfavourable circumstances. ”

With this prelude, Mr. Pickwick placed four closely-written sides of extra superfine wire-wove penitence in the hands of the astounded Mr. Winkle, senior. Then reseating himself in his chair, he watched his looks and manner: anxiously, it is true, but with the open front of a gentleman who feels he has taken no part which he need excuse or palliate. The old wharfinger turned the letter over, looked at the front, back, and sides, made a microscopic examination of the fat little boy on the seal, raised his eyes to Mr. Pickwick's face, and then, seating himself on the high stool, and drawing the lamp closer to him, broke the wax, unfolded the epistle, and lifting it to the light, prepared to read. Just at this moment, Mr. Bob Sawyer, whose wit had lain dormant for some minutes, placed his hands on his knees, and made a face after the portraits of the late Mr. Grimaldi, as clown. It so happened that Mr. Winkle, senior, instead of being deeply engaged in reading the letter, as Mr. Bob Sawyer thought, chanced to be looking over the top of it at no less a person than Mr. Bob Sawyer himself; rightly conjecturing that the face aforesaid was made in ridicule and derision of his own person, he fixed his eyes on Bob with such expressive sternness, that the late Mr. Grimaldi's lineaments gradually resolved themselves into a very fine expression of humility and confusion.

“Did you speak, Sir? ” inquired Mr. Winkle, senior, after an awful silence.

“No, sir, ” replied Bob, With no remains of the clown about him, save and except the extreme redness of his cheeks.

“You are sure you did not, sir? ” said Mr. Winkle, senior.

“Oh dear, yes, sir, quite, ” replied Bob.

“I thought you did, Sir, ” replied the old gentleman, with indignant emphasis. “Perhaps you LOOKED at me, sir? ”

“Oh, no! sir, not at all, ” replied Bob, with extreme civility.

“I am very glad to hear it, sir, ” said Mr. Winkle, senior. Having frowned upon the abashed Bob with great magnificence, the old gentleman again brought the letter to the light, and began to read it seriously.

Mr. Pickwick eyed him intently as he turned from the bottom line of the first page to the top line of the second, and from the bottom of the second to the top of the third, and from the bottom of the third to the top of the fourth; but not the slightest alteration of countenance afforded a clue to the feelings with which he received the announcement of his son's marriage, which Mr. Pickwick knew was in the very first half-dozen lines.

He read the letter to the last word, folded it again with all the carefulness and precision of a man of business, and, just when Mr. Pickwick expected some great outbreak of feeling, dipped a pen in the ink-stand, and said, as quietly as if he were speaking on the most ordinary counting-house topic—

“What is Nathaniel's address, Mr. Pickwick? ”

“The George and Vulture, at present, ” replied that gentleman.

“George and Vulture. Where is that? ”

“George Yard, Lombard Street. ”

“In the city? ”

“Yes. ”

The old gentleman methodically indorsed the address on the back of the letter; and then, placing it in the desk, which he locked, said, as he got off the stool and put the bunch of keys in his pocket—

“I suppose there is nothing else which need detain us, Mr. Pickwick? ”

“Nothing else, my dear Sir! ” observed that warm-hearted person in indignant amazement. “Nothing else! Have you no opinion to express on this momentous event in our young friend's life? No assurance to convey to him, through me, of the continuance of your affection and protection? Nothing to say which will cheer and sustain him, and the anxious girl who looks to him for comfort and support? My dear Sir, consider. ”

“I will consider, ” replied the old gentleman. “I have nothing to say just now. I am a man of business, Mr. Pickwick. I never commit myself hastily in any affair, and from what I see of this, I by no means like the appearance of it. A thousand pounds is not much, Mr. Pickwick. ”

“You're very right, Sir, ” interposed Ben Allen, just awake enough to know that he had spent his thousand pounds without the smallest difficulty. “You're an intelligent man. Bob, he's a very knowing fellow this. ”

“I am very happy to find that you do me the justice to make the admission, sir, ” said Mr. Winkle, senior, looking contemptuously at Ben Allen, who was shaking his head profoundly. “The fact is, Mr. Pickwick, that when I gave my son a roving license for a year or so, to see something of men and manners (which he has done under your auspices), so that he might not enter life a mere boarding-school milk-sop to be gulled by everybody, I never bargained for this. He knows that very well, so if I withdraw my countenance from him on this account, he has no call to be surprised. He shall hear from me, Mr. Pickwick. Good-night, sir. —Margaret, open the door. ”

All this time, Bob Sawyer had been nudging Mr. Ben Allen to say something on the right side; Ben accordingly now burst, without the slightest preliminary notice, into a brief but impassioned piece of eloquence.

“Sir, ” said Mr. Ben Allen, staring at the old gentleman, out of a pair of very dim and languid eyes, and working his right arm vehemently up and down, “you—you ought to be ashamed of yourself. ”

“As the lady's brother, of course you are an excellent judge of the question, ” retorted Mr. Winkle, senior. “There; that's enough. Pray say no more, Mr. Pickwick. Good-night, gentlemen! ”

With these words the old gentleman took up the candle-stick and opening the room door, politely motioned towards the passage.

“You will regret this, Sir, ” said Mr. Pickwick, setting his teeth close together to keep down his choler; for he felt how important the effect might prove to his young friend.

“I am at present of a different opinion, ” calmly replied Mr. Winkle, senior. “Once again, gentlemen, I wish you a good-night. ”

Mr. Pickwick walked with angry strides into the street. Mr. Bob Sawyer, completely quelled by the decision of the old gentleman's manner, took the same course. Mr. Ben Allen's hat rolled down the steps immediately afterwards, and Mr. Ben Allen's body followed it directly. The whole party went silent and supperless to bed; and Mr. Pickwick thought, just before he fell asleep, that if he had known Mr. Winkle, senior, had been quite so much of a man of business, it was extremely probable he might never have waited upon him, on such an errand.

CHAPTER LI IN WHICH Mr. PICKWICK ENCOUNTERS AN OLD

ACQUAINTANCE—TO WHICH FORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCE

THE READER IS MAINLY INDEBTED FOR MATTER OF

THRILLING INTEREST HEREIN SET DOWN, CONCERNING

TWO GREAT PUBLIC MEN OF MIGHT AND POWER

The morning which broke upon Mr. Pickwick's sight at eight o'clock, was not at all calculated to elevate his spirits, or to lessen the depression which the unlooked-for result of his embassy inspired. The sky was dark and gloomy, the air was damp and raw, the streets were wet and sloppy. The smoke hung sluggishly above the chimney-tops as if it lacked the courage to rise, and the rain came slowly and doggedly down, as if it had not even the spirit to pour. A game-cock in the stableyard, deprived of every spark of his accustomed animation, balanced himself dismally on one leg in a corner; a donkey, moping with drooping head under the narrow roof of an outhouse, appeared from his meditative and miserable countenance to be contemplating suicide. In the street, umbrellas were the only things to be seen, and the clicking of pattens and splashing of rain-drops were the only sounds to be heard.

The breakfast was interrupted by very little conversation; even Mr. Bob Sawyer felt the influence of the weather, and the previous day's excitement. In his own expressive language he was “floored. ” So was Mr. Ben Allen. So was Mr. Pickwick.

In protracted expectation of the weather clearing up, the last evening paper from London was read and re-read with an intensity of interest only known in cases of extreme destitution; every inch of the carpet was walked over with similar perseverance; the windows were looked out of, often enough to justify the imposition of an additional duty upon them; all kinds of topics of conversation were started, and failed; and at length Mr. Pickwick, when noon had arrived, without a change for the better, rang the bell resolutely, and ordered out the chaise.

Although the roads were miry, and the drizzling rain came down harder than it had done yet, and although the mud and wet splashed in at the open windows of the carriage to such an extent that the discomfort was almost as great to the pair of insides as to the pair of outsides, still there was something in the motion, and the sense of being up and doing, which was so infinitely superior to being pent in a dull room, looking at the dull rain dripping into a dull street, that they all agreed, on starting, that the change was a great improvement, and wondered how they could possibly have delayed making it as long as they had done.

When they stopped to change at Coventry, the steam ascended from the horses in such clouds as wholly to obscure the hostler, whose voice was however heard to declare from the mist, that he expected the first gold medal from the Humane Society on their next distribution of rewards, for taking the postboy's hat off; the water descending from the brim of which, the invisible gentleman declared, must have drowned him (the postboy), but for his great presence of mind in tearing it promptly from his head, and drying the gasping man's countenance with a wisp of straw.

“This is pleasant, ” said Bob Sawyer, turning up his coat collar, and pulling the shawl over his mouth to concentrate the fumes of a glass of brandy just swallowed.

“Wery, ” replied Sam composedly.

“You don't seem to mind it, ” observed Bob.

“Vy, I don't exactly see no good my mindin” on it “ud do, sir, ” replied Sam.

“That's an unanswerable reason, anyhow, ” said Bob.

“Yes, sir, ” rejoined Mr. Weller. “Wotever is, is right, as the young nobleman sweetly remarked wen they put him down in the pension list “cos his mother's uncle's vife's grandfather vunce lit the king's pipe vith a portable tinder-box. ” “Not a bad notion that, Sam, ” said Mr. Bob Sawyer approvingly.

, Just wot the young nobleman said ev'ry quarter-day arterwards for the rest of his life, ” replied Mr. Weller.

“Wos you ever called in, ” inquired Sam, glancing at the driver, after a short silence, and lowering his voice to a mysterious whisper—“wos you ever called in, when you wos “prentice to a sawbones, to wisit a postboy. ”

“I don't remember that I ever was, ” replied Bob Sawyer.

“You never see a postboy in that “ere hospital as you WALKED (as they says o” the ghosts), did you? ” demanded Sam.

“No, ” replied Bob Sawyer. “I don't think I ever did. ”

“Never know'd a churchyard were there wos a postboy's tombstone, or see a dead postboy, did you? ” inquired Sam, pursuing his catechism.

“No, ” rejoined Bob, “I never did. ”

“No! ” rejoined Sam triumphantly. “Nor never vill; and there's another thing that no man never see, and that's a dead donkey. No man never see a dead donkey “cept the gen'l'm'n in the black silk smalls as know'd the young “ooman as kep” a goat; and that wos a French donkey, so wery likely he warn't wun o” the reg'lar breed. ”

“Well, what has that got to do with the postboys? ” asked Bob Sawyer.

“This here, ” replied Sam. “Without goin” so far as to as-sert, as some wery sensible people do, that postboys and donkeys is both immortal, wot I say is this: that wenever they feels theirselves gettin” stiff and past their work, they just rides off together, wun postboy to a pair in the usual way; wot becomes on “em nobody knows, but it's wery probable as they starts avay to take their pleasure in some other vorld, for there ain't a man alive as ever see either a donkey or a postboy a-takin” his pleasure in this! ”

Expatiating upon this learned and remarkable theory, and citing many curious statistical and other facts in its support, Sam Weller beguiled the time until they reached Dunchurch, where a dry postboy and fresh horses were procured; the next stage was Daventry, and the next Towcester; and at the end of each stage it rained harder than it had done at the beginning.

“I say, ” remonstrated Bob Sawyer, looking in at the coach window, as they pulled up before the door of the Saracen's Head, Towcester, “this won't do, you know. ”

“Bless me! ” said Mr. Pickwick, just awakening from a nap, “I'm afraid you're wet. ”

“Oh, you are, are you? ” returned Bob. “Yes, I am, a little that way, Uncomfortably damp, perhaps. ”

Bob did look dampish, inasmuch as the rain was streaming from his neck, elbows, cuffs, skirts, and knees; and his whole apparel shone so with the wet, that it might have been mistaken for a full suit of prepared oilskin.

“I AM rather wet, ” said Bob, giving himself a shake and casting a little hydraulic shower around, like a Newfoundland dog just emerged from the water.

“I think it's quite impossible to go on to-night, ” interposed Ben.

“Out of the question, sir, ” remarked Sam Weller, coming to assist in the conference; “it's a cruelty to animals, sir, to ask “em to do it. There's beds here, sir, ” said Sam, addressing his master, “everything clean and comfortable. Wery good little dinner, sir, they can get ready in half an hour—pair of fowls, sir, and a weal cutlet; French beans, “taturs, tart, and tidiness. You'd better stop vere you are, sir, if I might recommend. Take adwice, sir, as the doctor said. ”

The host of the Saracen's Head opportunely appeared at this moment, to confirm Mr. Weller's statement relative to the accommodations of the establishment, and to back his entreaties with a variety of dismal conjectures regarding the state of the roads, the doubt of fresh horses being to be had at the next stage, the dead certainty of its raining all night, the equally mortal certainty of its clearing up in the morning, and other topics of inducement familiar to innkeepers.

“Well, ” said Mr. Pickwick; “but I must send a letter to London by some conveyance, so that it may be delivered the very first thing in the morning, or I must go forwards at all hazards. ”

The landlord smiled his delight. Nothing could be easier than for the gentleman to inclose a letter in a sheet of brown paper, and send it on, either by the mail or the night coach from Birmingham. If the gentleman were particularly anxious to have it left as soon as possible, he might write outside, “To be delivered immediately, ” which was sure to be attended to; or “Pay the bearer half-a-crown extra for instant delivery, ” which was surer still.

“Very well, ” said Mr. Pickwick, “then we will stop here. ”

“Lights in the Sun, John; make up the fire; the gentlemen are wet! ” cried the landlord. “This way, gentlemen; don't trouble yourselves about the postboy now, sir. I'll send him to you when you ring for him, sir. Now, John, the candles. ”

The candles were brought, the fire was stirred up, and a fresh log of wood thrown on. In ten minutes” time, a waiter was laying the cloth for dinner, the curtains were drawn, the fire was blazing brightly, and everything looked (as everything always does, in all decent English inns) as if the travellers had been expected, and their comforts prepared, for days beforehand.

Mr. Pickwick sat down at a side table, and hastily indited a note to Mr. Winkle, merely informing him that he was detained by stress of weather, but would certainly be in London next day; until when he deferred any account of his proceedings. This note was hastily made into a parcel, and despatched to the bar per Mr. Samuel Weller.

Sam left it with the landlady, and was returning to pull his master's boots off, after drying himself by the kitchen fire, when glancing casually through a half-opened door, he was arrested by the sight of a gentleman with a sandy head who had a large bundle of newspapers lying on the table before him, and was perusing the leading article of one with a settled sneer which curled up his nose and all other features into a majestic expression of haughty contempt.

“Hollo! ” said Sam, “I ought to know that “ere head and them features; the eyeglass, too, and the broad-brimmed tile! Eatansvill to vit, or I'm a Roman. ”

Sam was taken with a troublesome cough, at once, for the purpose of attracting the gentleman's attention; the gentleman starting at the sound, raised his head and his eyeglass, and disclosed to view the profound and thoughtful features of Mr. Pott, of the Eatanswill GAZETTE.

“Beggin” your pardon, sir, ” said Sam, advancing with a bow, “my master's here, Mr. Pott. ”

“Hush! hush! ” cried Pott, drawing Sam into the room, and closing the door, with a countenance of mysterious dread and apprehension.

“Wot's the matter, Sir? ” inquired Sam, looking vacantly about him.

“Not a whisper of my name, ” replied Pott; “this is a buff neighbourhood. If the excited and irritable populace knew I was here, I should be torn to pieces. ”

“No! Vould you, sir? ” inquired Sam.

“I should be the victim of their fury, ” replied Pott. “Now young man, what of your master? ”

“He's a-stopping here to-night on his vay to town, with a couple of friends, ” replied Sam.

“Is Mr. Winkle one of them? ” inquired Pott, with a slight frown.

“No, Sir. Mr. Vinkle stops at home now, ” rejoined Sam. “He's married. ”

“Married! ” exclaimed Pott, with frightful vehemence. He stopped, smiled darkly, and added, in a low, vindictive tone, “It serves him right! ” Having given vent to this cruel ebullition of deadly malice and cold-blooded triumph over a fallen enemy, Mr. Pott inquired whether Mr. Pickwick's friends were “blue? ” Receiving a most satisfactory answer in the affirmative from Sam, who knew as much about the matter as Pott himself, he consented to accompany him to Mr. Pickwick's room, where a hearty welcome awaited him, and an agreement to club their dinners together was at once made and ratified.

“And how are matters going on in Eatanswill? ” inquired Mr. Pickwick, when Pott had taken a seat near the fire, and the whole party had got their wet boots off, and dry slippers on. “Is the INDEPENDENT still in being? ”

“The INDEPENDENT, sir, ” replied Pott, “is still dragging on a wretched and lingering career. Abhorred and despised by even the few who are cognisant of its miserable and disgraceful existence, stifled by the very filth it so profusely scatters, rendered deaf and blind by the exhalations of its own slime, the obscene journal, happily unconscious of its degraded state, is rapidly sinking beneath that treacherous mud which, while it seems to give it a firm standing with the low and debased classes of society, is nevertheless rising above its detested head, and will speedily engulf it for ever. ”

Having delivered this manifesto (which formed a portion of his last week's leader) with vehement articulation, the editor paused to take breath, and looked majestically at Bob Sawyer.

“You are a young man, sir, ” said Pott.

Mr. Bob Sawyer nodded.

“So are you, sir, ” said Pott, addressing Mr. Ben Allen.

Ben admitted the soft impeachment.

“And are both deeply imbued with those blue principles, which, so long as I live, I have pledged myself to the people of these kingdoms to support and to maintain? ” suggested Pott.

“Why, I don't exactly know about that, ” replied Bob Sawyer. “I am—”

“Not buff, Mr. Pickwick, ” interrupted Pott, drawing back his chair, “your friend is not buff, sir? ”

“No, no, ” rejoined Bob, “I'm a kind of plaid at present; a compound of all sorts of colours. ”

“A waverer, ” said Pott solemnly, “a waverer. I should like to show you a series of eight articles, Sir, that have appeared in the Eatanswill GAZETTE. I think I may venture to say that you would not be long in establishing your opinions on a firm and solid blue basis, sir. ” “I dare say I should turn very blue, long before I got to the end of them, ” responded Bob.

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