Willa and Louie 2 страница

" Good on you. Now say after me. We are all individuals. Go on—we are all—"

Some of the audience began saying it before they realised what they were doing, then they laughed.

" Okay, just a little joke there for the third formers. Now that ticket you just tore up and threw away, that was your politically correct card. From now on you don't have to worry about it. Politics is a four-letter word in the Comedy Club vocabulary. Four letters is as much as Mo can spell anyway, but if you're hooked on being politically correct you might want to leave now. Be a geek now or forever hold your peace! " Nobody moved.

" What we want to know in the Comedy Club, is who first stuck their dirty great political boot into comedians? Humour is universal, right? It's politics that causes all the trouble. If laughter was really the international currency, we'd have no—"

" Mogadishu! " exclaimed Mo.

" Bless you, " replied Louie, and the audience laughed. " Croats, and Kurds! "

" A fabulous vegetarian dish, a traditional staple in the Middle East and Europe. "

" Rwanda! " cried Mo, in desperation.

Louie took off flitting around the stage singing, " The Famous Flying Fairy, " in a falsetto.

" Gaza Strip, " accused Mo, hands on hips.

Music to " Hey Big Spender" came over the sound system and Louie wriggled her body at the audience. " What a nightclub! "

" I mean it, everything is funny, isn't it? How many good jokes have our generation lost to political correctness? Like the one about the Irish abortion clinic—you know, the one that had a nine-month waiting list? "

The crowd laughed, and Louie continued. " We want to reclaim those jokes, reclaim the days when humour was innocent and we could say the word cripple—woops, did I say that? " She put a hand over her mouth. " I really meant physically challenged, of course. Like Mr. Wallis is follicly challenged, and Mrs. Lamont is, well, comically challenged.

" I hate all this political correctness. Don't you? It's so phony. I mean, since when, to get into a government department did you have to be a black, crippled lesbian? Woops! I should say, a physically challenged, alternatively sexually oriented, woman of colour?

" And what's wrong with a few Irish jokes, or Catholic jokes, or Jewish jokes for that matter? What is it about Jewish jokes that so gets up their noses? Oops—did I say noses? "

It went on like that for a while, and the audience laughed more and more at Louie's jokes, often spluttering at how awful they were. Willa smiled at first, but she started to go cold after a while. She wished she hadn't torn up her politically correct card. Then she was angry with Louie. Didn't she see that it wasn't going back to a more innocent time—it was going back to a more bigoted time? Didn't she see that Kevin used exactly the same jokes at Burger Giant, only they were against blondes, or women with big boobs, or just women in general? Willa shuffled her feet as Louie went on about how " Confucius say, No such thing as rape—woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down. " It was unbelievable that the audience were all laughing at that. Even Geena was howling. It stank. She'd liked Louie, but now she thought she was a real jerk.

Willa stood up and started to move out of her row. Louie was talking about Africa now, and saying something about how their stomachs looked pretty big to her. Geena looked surprised she was leaving so Willa gave her a little wave and kept going. To get to the exit she had to pass right in front of Louie, who was saying, " What's the worst selling book in the history of the world? Huh? " Halfway through it, she caught Willa's eye. Louie faltered in her words for a second, then continued. " The Rwandan cookbook'. " Willa didn't smile. She had the feeling eyes were still on her however, and as she closed the door, she saw Louie glancing that way. Tough.

Willa shoved her hands in her pockets and stomped back to her form room. In one pocket she felt a piece of paper. Blue paper. Die, bitch. She screwed it up violently and fired it into a rubbish bin.

It was only fifteen minutes later that Willa noticed girls returning to the form room who had been at the Comedy Club. But they were talking quietly and intensely, and looked very serious, nothing like the audience she had left. She was puzzled, and although she tried to keep working on her maths equations, she was keeping an eye out for Geena.

Eventually she arrived, and made a beeline for Willa.

" You missed it. You missed the most amazing thing, Willa. "

" What? "

Behind her a group of girls followed. " You walked out, didn't you? " asked one of them, Vika.

" Yeah, I did, " replied Willa, cautiously. She didn't want to get into an argument about it.

" Wow. I didn't even think about it. "

" It was spooky, " said another.

" What? What? " Willa demanded of Geena.

Geena sat down on a chair. " Not long after you left, Louie Angelo got really carried away, and the jokes started getting worse and worse. And just when everyone began to feel uncomfortable about them—"

" I was still laughing! " admitted one of the others.

" —these pictures started rolling on the big screen behind her. Really ugly things like the bodies of dead Jews at Auschwitz and stuff, and soldiers ransacking villages in Africa. It was gross. "

" And then, " jumped in Vika, " there was this awful silence, like not a word, except for Louie saying 'A joke's a joke, right? ' and this soundtrack started up, of us laughing. It was us, they must have been taping us laughing at Louie before, and it was revolting, these pictures and the sound of all our laughter. There was him of child prostitutes in Asia and all these mental patients left behind in war zones. I thought I was going to be sick. "

" It was brilliant, " said Geena, simply. " Just brilliant. "

Willa smiled down at her page. The maths equations smiled back.

It was after school before she saw Louie again. Willa was in the library looking for some information on John McKenzie for her New Zealand history assignment. It was confusing changing schools halfway through the year—some topics she'd missed altogether, while others she was doing for the second time. And since she was repeating most of her sixth form subjects, there were some, like those in New Zealand Studies, that she was on for the third time. Ms. Rosen had given her a separate assignment to do, and to her surprise, Willa was enjoying it.

Louie came in with Mo and another prefect called Julie. Willa didn't know why, but she watched Louie out of the corner of her eye, and wasn't surprised to see her slip away from the others almost immediately.

" Hi. "

Willa looked up and feigned surprise. " Oh, hi. "

" That looks heavy, " Louie pointed to the History oj New Zealand Willa had picked out. " What's it for? "

" History. John McKenzie and the breaking up of the Great Estates. "

" Uhuh. Umm, Willa, I know you were at the performance at lunchtime—" she began.

Willa didn't help her out. It was cruel, letting her do this, but she wanted to hear what Louie would say.

" I noticed you walked out. Before the end. "

" The jokes stank. "

" Yeah, they were meant to! " she exclaimed. Louie grabbed a chair and sat beside Willa at the library table. " I mean, that wasn't for real. It was like an experiment, you know, about the politics of humour. To get everyone laughing at awful stuff, and then we turned it on them. We had this him footage of concentration camps and child prostitutes—"

" And soldiers in Africa? Mental patients? " Willa decided to put her out of her misery.

" Yeah! " Louie's face changed. " You knew. "

Willa looked at her. " So you just want to make sure I know that you're not an ignorant bigot like everyone else who laughed at the jokes, eh. "

Louie's face hushed. She was wearing a loose-necked sweater and Willa watched the pink spread up her neck and ears, against her dark hairline until her cheekbones were fiery red. It gave Willa a fright.

" I'm sorry. It was great what you did. " In horror Willa felt her own face begin to heat up. " But really, I could hardly have missed it. It was all anyone talked about all afternoon. "

Louie shrugged. " Well, anyway. " She picked at something invisible on the table. " For what it's worth, I thought it was great that you had the guts to walk out. You were the only one. "

Willa squeezed the edge of the history book and ran the pages between her thumb and forefinger. It made a squirty, fluttery noise.

" I better let you get back to your history, " Louie said, pushing back her chair.

" Did you know Ms. Rosen is Jewish? " Willa asked her. Louie stopped, startled. " She was in the audience, apparently. We spent nearly all history period talking about it. "

" Really? "

" Uhuh. She said that's what theatre is all about. Challenging ourselves, scaring us. " Willa smiled. " You've got another fan, I reckon. "

Louie made some really odd movements then and scratched her ankle or something. Willa could only see the back of her curly head and shoulders. Then she stood up abruptly, and looked all around Willa.

" Are you on tonight? At work? " she asked.

Willa shook her head. " Na, I've got fencing on Monday nights. "

Louie shuffled a bit longer then said, " Well, I'll see you then, " and smiled quickly at the chair beside Willa. And she left.

Willa stared at the History oj New Zealand blindly. She likes me, she thought. She likes me. And something grabbed in her stomach.

Louie

She didn't even know her last name. Willa. Willa who? And was she a sixth former or a seventh? She'd said she was repeating mostly sixth form subjects, but if she was a sixth, she should be wearing uniform like the rest. Willa had been wearing purple jeans, a long green jersey that fell almost to her knees and a coloured scarf tied into her hair. Louie had felt scruffy and unimaginative in a sweatshirt and plain blue Levis. She didn't usually worry about clothes, but Willa had looked so chic. Louie thought about winding a scarf through her black woolly hair then laughed out loud at the image.

She pushed her bike further up the hill. Even a mountain bike had difficulty getting up Fulton Road, but the rest of the valley was flat for biking to school and it was a rush coming down. This morning, thinking of Willa's comment about speed, Louie had flown down without brakes.

What was it Willa went to on Monday nights—fencing? Louie guessed Willa wasn't the type to spend her spare time stringing number eight wire along farm posts, which meant it must be the other type of fencing. Swords and things. Weren't they on horses? It seemed very romantic and medieval. Whoso pulleth out this sword from this stone and anvil is the true-born king of all Britain. Somehow Louie had the feeling that Willa wouldn't be a royalist either. It was intriguing.

There was something else Willa had said to Louie that stayed in her mind. Something that she was saving up for when she got to the top of the hill. Louie strode faster, pumping her legs and leaning heavily on the handlebars. The top of the rise was a favourite place, where the road bent towards the new housing. Before that bend you could look down across the dark gully of bush to the hills on the far side. When it was quiet and Louie's breathing eased, she could hear the birdsong rise from the bush and float up to where she stood. There was mist hanging about the bush, and despite the occasional flutter of wings it seemed still and primeval. The furthest away hills had a purplish look today, their edges fading in the pale winter light. Louie sucked in the frosty air and felt it caustic in her throat and lungs, then blew out a slow funnel of white breath.

" You've got another fan I reckon, " Willa had said. Another fan. Did that mean that Willa was the first? Louie let a smile spread on her lips as the call of a tui pierced the air and everything—the bush, the gully, the hills, the blue dome of the sky—seemed to stand still.

Antonio Angelo ran a travel agency in town, imaginatively named Angelo Travel. In business dealings its owner was known as Tony, a man's man who drove a hard bargain, a fair dinkum Kiwi despite his rather poofy surname; when dealing with women or exhorting the beauty of Europe he became Antonio, complete with hand gestures and the edge of an Italian accent. This combined effect made Angelo's the most popular travel agency in town for people who liked to talk with intelligent cosmopolitan men and get a good deal at the end of the day. Louie often met her father in town at the agency and watched him in action, greeting people at the door and ushering them to a seat with his impeccable manners, then telling them how terribly sorry he was not to be able to attend to them personally today, but that his marvellously capable right hand woman would look after them admirably and of course he would ensure they got the very best package going and how is your delightful daughter Mrs. Dennison he saw her in La Boheme and he could honestly say that he had never seen Mimi played with such feeling, what a voice and how proud they must be.

In fact, Tony Angelo had been born and bred in New Zealand and never visited Italy until he was twenty-eight. But his love for his parents' homeland was genuine and he and his wife Susi had made numerous trips back since that first one. Susi, like Tony, was from Invercargill, and was determined to show the world, or at least Dunedin, that Invercargill girls could be as cultured and cosmopolitan as any. The Angelos' house in Garden Village was a statement in architecture, a corrugated iron and glass masterpiece designed for them by a prominent architect, and decorated by Susi according to all the latest trends, complete with stainless steel kitchen and exposed plumbing. This feat didn't mark an end to the interior decorating magazines scattered through the house however. Susi lived in fear of deconstruction going out of fashion.

Louie liked the new house, which she nicknamed the Metal Petal because of the rounded shape of the corrugated iron design. But she missed her childhood home with its well—walls. The new house was so open, with the living areas divided only by wide steel pillars, and huge windows capturing the view across the valley. Susi talked a lot about the house's flow—it has extraordinary flow, she'd say—but Louie felt like she might flow right out the window one day and her mother would simply glance up from her magazine and say, " Look at that. What flow. " To combat this irrational fear Louie would move around the house following her outstretched arm like a sleepwalking ballerina saying, " I'm flowing, I'm flowing, I can't stop... "

Louie left her bike in the garage and headed for the kitchen. She found a bag of nacho chips and dip in the fridge and settled down in front of the telly. Since Nic had left home it was much quieter round the place, but Louie could hear Marietta playing upstairs on her computer. She grinned. Her mother adored Italian names. Nic had been named after Tony's father Niccolo, she had been named after his grandmother Luisa, but Susi had really gone overboard with her youngest daughter. Marietta loathed her name so much that she had gone for days at a time not answering her family if they used it. She'd been Mary for a while, but hated that now; then she was Marie, but that didn't last a year; now she was insisting that everyone call her Ettie, which Susi refused to do. Marietta had gone off to sulk over the computer for most of the weekend, and Louie guessed she was still punishing them.

Marietta stayed up there until Susi came home and began making the dinner. Then hunger drove her down and as usual an argument about her name followed. When Tony arrived he quietened it down, but it erupted again over the meal and in the midst of the wailing and shouting Marietta knocked over an open bottle of Chardonnay and it broke on the tiles. Louie made her move.

" Dad, " she said in her quiet, older and reasonable daughter voice, " I've got to go to work. Could I borrow your car? I think it might rain. "

Tony had a second's hesitation before Marietta started up again about her rights as an individual and then he reached into his suit pocket and drew out the keys. This he could deal with. He raised a cautionary finger at Louie. " Nowhere else, and don't speed. "

Louie smiled reassuringly and popped the keys in her own pocket. Then she stood up and put a hand on Marietta's shoulder. " You know, arguing while the argu-ee is cleaning up your mess is not very smart, " she murmured.

Marietta looked in surprise to where her mother was picking up the shards of glass from under the table, and took her sister's advice. As she left the room, Louie heard her mother say, " Never mind, the tiles needed a good clean anyway. "

It was always quiet on a Monday night and Louie and Joan chatted while they packed the few orders and pretended to wipe the cupboards Kevin had told them to clean. Simone was on the counter and another new kid was clearing the tables.

Joan was like the camp mum of Burger Giant. She wasn't super-efficient and sharp-tongued like Deirdre, but she got the work done quickly and laughed at just about anything you said. Louie loved to entertain her and they cackled so loudly a couple of times that Simone poked her head around the divider and told them to shut up. Kevin hung about for a while and tried to get them to come for a drink at his place after work, but Louie thought of Willa and grinned broadly. " Are you serving chicken nibbles? " she said, and after he disappeared Joan doubled up and laughed so hard she had to rush cross-legged to the loo. About ten o'clock Kevin came back in and told Louie in his best managerial voice that she could get away now if she wanted. Louie knew that would mean she didn't get paid for the last half hour, and Kevin was only doing it to get back at her, but she smiled and thanked him all the same.

It hadn't rained. In fact, the stars were sparkling so much in the frosty air that they really did appear to be jumping about in the sky. Louie cruised down George Street in her father's smooth car, listening to the stereo and playing with the electric windows. As she approached the Duke, she slowed and looked inside. There were people in the front bars and lights behind the long-toothed windows upstairs as well.

Impulsively, Louie pulled the car over and parked. A part of her was surprised, and another part was enjoying her own surprise. She was still wondering what on earth to say as she pushed open the door to the public bar.

There had been a rugby match that day, and the room was full of ecstatic rugby supporters. They had been ecstatic, rather—now they were drunk, bored and maudlin. Dreadful, mournful singing erupted every few minutes, which usually descended into the famous dreary " Otaaaaa-goh, Otaaaaa-goh, " cry of the Otago rugby supporter.

Louie was rather overwhelmed by the smoke, the smell of beer and the number of men in the room, but she weaved her way around groups until she reached the bar. There was a big red-faced man with a completely bald head serving someone, and a collection of men sitting around on stools. Her mother would have described them as " under the weather. " A couple of them noticed Louie and seemed to brighten up.

" What have we got here, eh? Gidday love, have a seat, " slurred the guy closest to her.

" Oh, Jeez, here we go! " laughed one of his mates.

The first one leaned over to her. He was in his twenties and had wavy brown hair and his lips looked wet. " Don't take any notice of him. Here, honestly, have a stool. " He pushed a spare wooden stool behind her so that Louie sort of fell onto it. " I'm Jason, " he said, and put out his hand.

" Umm, Louie, " she answered and took his hand because she didn't know what else to do. The barman hadn't noticed her yet.

" Louie? " he asked, still holding her hand in his own warm, soft one.

She nodded. There was a lot of noise. " Louie, " she said, louder, " As in the kings of France? No? Okay, how about short for Louise? " and then she felt annoyed with herself because she had given him something private.

" Louise, " he repeated, nodding in reply. " That's a nice name, it's a lovely name. Now, Louise, can I get you a drink? " he asked, moving his stool closer to her own. He still held her hand and she wished he'd let it go. His friends were groaning and calling out, but he ignored them and fixed his heavy eyes on Louie.

" No—thanks, " she added, leaning away from his beery breath, and finally extracting her hand. " I'm just visiting someone. " just then the bald man from behind the bar came over and said, arms folded on his chest, " I. D? "

Louie paused in confusion and before she could answer, the men around the bar began yelling and booing. " Oh, come on, Sid! She's all right! "

" Best looking thing in the bar all night for godsake! "

" Leave her alone you big bully! You're just too old to remember, you bloody geriatric. "

Sid smiled wryly and looked back at her. " Come on, kid, you're too young for here. "

This was met with more cat calls and carrying on. Louie tried to say, " I just wanted to see Willa, " but nobody heard her and then Jason took her arm and tried to lead her away.

" Come on, it's all right, we'll sort it out. You just sit down here at a table and I'll get you a drink. " He pulled a chair out for her and Louie took hold of the back of it but didn't sit down. " She's my daughter! " Jason yelled out to Sid, and the whole place erupted into laughter and banter again.

Sid pointed at her from behind the bar and called, " Out! " very firmly. Suddenly Louie decided that was exactly what she wanted to do, and she turned and headed straight for the door. She had to push her way through a group of men laughing around the entrance. None of them moved for her. As the door closed behind, she heard an aggrieved voice yell, " Ohh, ref!! " and another roar of laughter.

Louie took a couple of breaths of the night air, and savoured the relative quiet outside. Then she walked quickly away from the bar door in case Jason came out following her. She glanced at her fathers car, but didn't go to it. Instead, she investigated around the corner of the pub, where she saw a corrugated iron fence and a wooden gate. As she waited for her eyes to adjust there was an explosion of ferocious barking and Judas appeared, paws on the top of the gate, his head snapping at her.

" Judas, Judas, it's all right, " Louie tried to calm him, and herself, down. " You know me, remember? I smell good, yeah, sure I do. "

He did quieten down a bit, but ruffed a couple more times, and he wouldn't let Louie touch him or come inside the gate. Above, Louie heard a window slide open heavily.

" Judas! " It was Willa. She looked down and there was a pause as she realised who was there. " Louie, " she said finally, " —hey. "

" Hey. " Louie stood and stared at the black figure of Willa outlined against the bright window. " I, um, I was just cruising in the car, you know, getting RSI from electric windows overdose and I remembered you're a night freak too. I figured you'd still be up. "

" Logarithms. I've done two in an hour, " she replied. " You want some company on your cruising? "

Louie's heart stopped thumping quite so much, and she grinned. " Can your logarithms spare you? "

" Can a bird fly? " She disappeared without waiting for an answer.

Louie patted Judas who was trying to make friends with her again. " A fly can't bird but a bird can fly, " she sang softly, and he cocked his head to one side.

Louie had forgotten all Tony's instructions about the car—or if she hadn't altogether forgotten, they just didn't figure suddenly. Was she imagining it, or did Willa seem to know ahead of time what Louie was going to ask? Perhaps it was fate. Louie smiled to herself and opened the gate as Willa appeared out of a lower storey door. Judas acted as if a gigantic bone had just walked into the yard. He whined in excitement and leapt about, his front legs splayed playfully.

" We'll have to take Judas, he'll make a fuss if I leave him, " Willa explained.

" Sure. " Louie tried not to think what Tony would say about that.

As his mistress approached the gate, Judas rushed in front and tripped her up. Louie grabbed Willa to steady her, only for a second, and it was only on the arm. But it was like a great yell in her head. Willa was wearing a woollen jersey, and it was heavy and warm to touch. Louie let go and rushed to the car where she fumbled with the doors. She felt stupid again, like this afternoon in the library, and her hands still tingled with rough wool.

" Dipstick, Judas, " Willa was grumbling at him. " Why d'you always have to go first, huh? "

Willa loved Tony's flash car. " Oh, it's beautiful, " she said, running her hand along the leather seat. " What's the engine? "

" Engine? " Louie shrugged, changed gears jerkily and followed the road north, her heart still scudding. From behind Judas panted happily in her ear. He had terrible breath and was fogging up the windscreen. " I wouldn't have a clue. " She looked at Willa in the passenger seat. " Would you? "

Willa smiled in reply and turned on the demister. " A bit. " Louie watched her hands on the dashboard. Willa had very small, fine hands with milky fingernails, and on her right ring finger she wore a plain gold band. Louie wanted to ask her about it.

" How come? Engines, I mean, " said Louie, wondering suddenly if Willa had a boyfriend.

" My father taught me. He's dead, " she said, looking at Louie briefly. " He used to be a truckle. He drove them, and he raced them, and he didn't have any sons. So I spent half my childhood under the chassis of the Buffalo. That was his home town, " she explained. " Buffalo, New York. "

The car headed up Opoho Road almost by itself. Louie had no idea where she was heading. " American? "

" Even liked apple pie, and cried at the anthem. He left when he was a teenager. Came to the big time in Dunedin instead. "

Willa laughed and shrugged. " He was a hippie. And he met Jolene. "

The road narrowed and veered steeply uphill, leaving the suburban houses behind. It was perfect. Louie swung the car round a bend to the right and felt the tyres grip beneath her. Everything ahead was blackness and bush.

Willa opened her window and tucked her legs up onto the seat. The air blew in the cool, deep smells of the native forest. " Faster, " she said quietly, almost as if to herself. Louie paused for a moment then put her foot down and something wild shot through her limbs. The engine surged and gravel spat out to each side of the car. They both leaned to the left and right as the car swung up the winding road, its high beam lighting up the bush ahead.

As they rounded the final corner they saw the road widened into a circle of grass and a carpark, and to the right rose the dark shape of a monument. Louie put on the brakes and some loose stones clattered under the car.

Beyond the monument were the lights of the city. Everything else was black. As Louie opened her door, it swung beyond her hand with the force of the wind on the hilltop. She got out and was knocked a pace backwards—" Wo! " —then she grabbed the car door and heaved it shut again. Willa let Judas out from the back and he leapt away into the darkness.

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