No, said the man cooly (холодно), Don't drink (не пью). Tried it once and I didn't like it (попрoбовал раз и не понравилось). 6 страница

" That's the same with us (то же и с нами), " the American said, " only we see stars, too (только мы еще видим звезды; сравните: I saw stars = у меня звезды посыпались из глаз). "

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
" Our flag symbolizes our taxes, " he said. " We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them. "
" That's the same with us, " the American said, " only we see stars, too. "

A family was visiting an Indian reservation (семья посещала индейскую резервацию) when they happen upon an old tribesman (когда они случайно натыкаются на старика из племени; tribe – племя) laying face down in the middle оf the road (лежащего лицом вниз посреди дороги) with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop (c ухом, крепко прижатым к асфальту; blacktop – щебеночно-асфальтовое покрытие).

The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing (отец семейства спросил старика, что он делает).

The tribesman began to speak... (начал говорить /to begin-began-begun/) " woman (женщина), late thirties (под сорок лет), three kids (трое детей), one barking dog (лающая собака) in late model, four door station wagon (в четырехдверном фургоне последней модели), traveling at 65 m. p. h (едущим со скоростью 65 миль в час). "

" That's amazing! (невероятно)" exclaimed (воскликнул) the father.

" You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground? (вы можете все это сказать, просто слушая землю)"

" No, " said the old tribesman. " They just ran over me five minutes ago! (они просто переехали меня пять минут назад)"

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.
The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.
The tribesman began to speak... " woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m. p. h. "
" That's amazing! " exclaimed the father.
" You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground? "
" No, " said the old tribesman. " They just ran over me five minutes ago! "

That's amazing!

A prominent Polish scientist (выдающийся польский ученый) conducted very important experiment (проводил очень важный эксперимент; experiment [ı ks`perı ment]). He trained a flea to jump (он учил блоху прыгать) upon giving her a verbal command " Jump! " (давая ей устную команду – " прыжок" )

In a first stage (на первой стадии) of experiment he removed flea's leg (удалил блошиную лапку), told (сказал /to tell-told-told/) her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook (записал в своей " научной" тетрадке) " Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly (после удаления одной лапки все блошиные органы функционируют должным образом). "

So, he removed the second (вторую) leg, asked (попросил, скомандовал) the flea to jump, she obeyed (подчинилась), so he wrote again (снова): " Upon removing the second (второй) leg all flea organs function properly. "

Thereafter (после этого) he removed all the legs but one (все лапки, кроме одной), the flea jumped when ordered (когда ей было приказано), so he wrote again: " Upon removing the next (следующей) leg all flea organs function properly. "

Then he removed the last (последнюю) leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened (ничего не произошло). He did not want (он не хотел) to take a chance (полагаться на случай), so he repeated (повторил) the experiment several times (несколько раз), and the legless (безногая) flea never (никогда = вовсе не) jumped. So he wrote the conclusion (вывод): " Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing (теряет слух: " чувство слуха" ). "

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command " Jump! "
In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: " Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly. "
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: " Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly. "
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: " Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly. "
Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the legless flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: " Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing. "

The Irish girl knelt (ирландская девушка стала на колени /to kneel-knelt-knelt/) in the confessional (на исповеди: «в исповедальне»; to confess – признавать/ся/; исповедовать/ся/) and said, " Bless me, Father, for I have sinned (благословите меня = отпустите грехи, отче, ибо я согрешила). "

" What is it (" что это" = что ты сделала, что случилось), child? (дитя)"

The girl said, " Father, I have committed the sin of vanity (я совершила грех тщеславия). Twice a day (дважды в день) I gaze at myself in the mirror (я разглядываю себя в зеркало; to gaze – пристально глядеть) and tell myself how beautiful I am (и говорю себе, как я прекрасна). "

The priest turned (священник повернулся), took a good look (внимательно посмотрел: " взял хороший взгляд" /to take-took-taken/) at the girl, and said, " My dear (моя дорогая), I have good news (у меня хорошие новости). That isn't a sin – it's only a mistake (это не грех – это только ошибка). "

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, " Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. "
" What is it, child? "
The girl said, " Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am. "
The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, " My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin – it's only a mistake. "

What is it?

An aged farmer and his wife (фермер в возрасте и его жена) were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen (стояли, прислонившись к краю их свинарника; pen – небольшой загон для скота) when the old woman wistfully recalled (когда старая женщина грустно = с грустью вспомнила) that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary (что на следующей неделе будет золотая годовщина их свадьбы; to mark – выделять, отмечать).

" Let's have a party, Homer (давай устроим вечеринку, Гомер), " she suggested (она предложила). " Let's kill a pig (давай убьем = зарежем свинью). "

The farmer scratched his grizzled head (поскреб свою седую голову). " Gee, Ethel, " he finally answered (" Но Этель", он наконец ответил), " I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago (я не понимаю, почему свинья должна расплачиваться: " взять вину” за то, что случилось 50 лет назад). "

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
" Let's have a party, Homer, " she suggested. " Let's kill a pig. "
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. " Gee, Ethel, " he finally answered, " I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago. "

Let's have a party.

A man is driving down a country road (человек едет по проселочной дороге), when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass (когда он замечает фермера, стоящего посреди большого поля травы). He pulls the car over to the side of the road (он направляет машину к обочине дороги) and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing (и замечает, что фермер просто стоит там, не делая ничего, смотря " ни на что" ).

The man gets out of the car (выходит из машины), walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him (проходит весь путь к фермеру = доходит до фермера, подходит прямо к фермеру и спрашивает его), " Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? (простите, мистер, но что вы делаете)"

The farmer replies (отвечает), " I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize (я пытаюсь получить Нобелевскую премию; to win – выиграть). "

" How? (как)" asks the man, puzzled (озадаченный).

" Well, I heard they give (ну, я слышал /to hear-heard-heard/, что дают) the Nobel Prize … to people who are out standing in their field (игра слов: out standing – стоящий " снаружи", " на улице" и outstanding – выдающийся; field: 1) поле, 2) область /знаний, деятельности и т. д. /)".

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, " Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? "
The farmer replies, " I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize. "
" How? " asks the man, puzzled.
" Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field. "

Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation (техасский фермер едет в Австралию в отпуск). There he meets an Aussie farmer (там он встречает австралийского фермера) and gets talking (и начинает разговаривать). The Aussie shows off (показывает, хвастается) his big wheat field (своим большим пшеничным полем) and the Texan says (говорит), " Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large (у нас пшеничные поля, по крайней мере, вдвое больше). "

Then they walk around the ranch a little (потом они немного проходят по ферме) and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle (свое стадо скота). The Texan immediately (тут же) says, " We have longhorns (– порода коров, первоначально разводившаяся в Англии, теперь преимущественно в США, в юго-западных штатах: long – длинный + horn – рог) that are at least twice as large as your cows (по крайней мере, вдвое больше твоих коров). "

The conversation (беседа) has, meanwhile (к тому времени), almost died (почти угасла) when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos (стадо кенгуру) hopping through the field (прыгающих через поле). He asks, " And what are those? "

The Aussie asks with an incredulous look (с недоверчивым взглядом; incredulous [ı n`kredjul∂ s]), " Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas? (Разве у вас в Техасе нет кузнечиков)"

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, " Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large. "
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows. "
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, " And what are those? "
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, " Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas? "

We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.

A bus load of politicians (автобус, полный политиков; load – груз; to load – грузить) were driving down a country road one afternoon (ехали по сельской дороге однажды после полудня), when all of a sudden (когда вдруг), the bus ran off the road (съехал с дороги /to run-ran-run/) and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field (и врезался в дерево на поле старого фермера).

Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate (видя, что случилось, старый фермер подошел " исследовать" /to go-went-gone/). He then proceeded (затем он принялся; proceed [pr∂ `si: d]) to dig a hole and bury the politicians (рыть яму и хоронить политиков).

A few days later (несколько дней спустя), the local sheriff (местный шериф) came out (появился, выехал на место происшествия), saw the crashed bus (увидел врезавшийся автобус /to see-saw-seen/), and asked the old farmer, " Were they all dead? (они все были мертвы)"

The old farmer replied (ответил), " Well, some of them said they weren't (ну, некоторые из них сказали, что нет = что не были), but you know (но вы знаете) how them politicians lie (как врут эти политики). "

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.
Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, " Were they all dead? "
The old farmer replied, " Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie. "

But you know how them politicians lie.

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday (дедушка отмечал свой 100-й день рождения) and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared (и каждый делал ему комплименты по поводу того, каким спортивным и хорошо сохранившимся он предстал; to appear – появляться, оказываться).

" Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success (господа, я скажу вам секрет моего успеха), " he cackled (прокудахтал). " I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now (я был на открытом воздухе день за днем вот уже около 75 лет). "

The celebrants (собравшиеся гости: «празднующие») were impressed (были впечатлены) and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime (как он сумел сохранить такой строгий режим занятий зарядкой, спортом; fitness – пригодность; хорошая форма).

" Well, you see, my wife and I were married 75 years ago (видите ли, моя жена и я поженились 75 лет назад). On our wedding night (в нашу брачную ночь), we made a solemn pledge (мы дали торжественное обещание; pledge – обет, обещание). Whenever we had a fight (когда бы мы ни поссорились; fight – бой; спор, ссора), the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk (тот, кто окажется: «будет доказан» неправым, выходит из дому прогуляться). "

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
" Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success, " he cackled. " I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now. "
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
" Well, you see, my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk. "

I’ll take a walk.

It was three o'clock in the morning (было три часа утра), and the receptionist (дежурная, портье) at a posh hotel (в шикарном отеле) was just dozing off (дремала, засыпала), when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming (когда маленькая старушка подбежала к ней, крича). " Please come quickly! (пожалуйста, идите быстрее)" she yelled (она вопила), " I just saw a naked man outside my window!!! (я только что видела голого мужчину за своим окном /to see-saw-seen/)"

The receptionist immediately (немедленно) rushed up (помчалась наверх) to the old lady's room (в комнату старой леди).

" Where is he? (где он)" asked the receptionist.

" He's over there (он вон там), " replied (ответила) the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel (показывая на жилой дом напротив отеля). The receptionist looked over (поглядела туда) and could see a man with no shirt on (и " смогла увидеть" мужчину без рубашки), moving around his apartment (передвигающегося по своей квартире).

" It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed (это, вероятно, человек, готовящийся пойти спать: «в кровать»), " she said reassuringly (она сказала успокаивающе). " And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up? (а как вы узнали, что он голый, вы можете видеть его только выше пояса)"

" The dresser, honey! (туалетный столик, дорогая)" screamed the old lady. " Try standing on the dresser! (попробуйте встать на туалетный столик)"

It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. " Please come quickly! " she yelled, " I just saw a naked man outside my window!!! " The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room.
" Where is he? " asked the receptionist.
" He's over there, " replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment.
" It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed, " she said reassuringly. " And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up? "
" The dresser, honey! " screamed the old lady. " Try standing on the dresser! "

I’m going to bed.

An airline captain (командир самолета) was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess (обучал очень хорошенькую блондинку – новую стюардессу; to break in – дрессировать, укрощать; дисциплинировать). The route they were flying (маршрут, по которому они летели) had a stay-over in another city (имел остановку в другом городе), so upon their arrival (так что, по их прибытии), the captain showed (показал) the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat (лучшее место для персонала, где поесть), shop (сделать покупки) and stay overnight (и остановиться на ночь).

The next morning (на следующее утро) as the pilot was preparing the crew (когда пилот готовил экипаж) for the day's route (к дневному маршруту), he noticed (заметил) the new stewardess was missing (не хватает новой стюардессы). He knew which room she was in at the hotel (он знал, в каком номере она была /to know-knew-known/) and called her up (позвонил ей) wondering what happened to her (недоумевая, что с ней случилось).

She answered the phone (она взяла трубку: «ответила по телефону»), sobbing (всхлипывая), and said she couldn't get out of her room (и сказала, что не может выйти из своего номера).

" You can't get out of your room? " the captain asked, " Why not? (" почему нет" )"

The stewardess replied, " There are only three doors in here (здесь только три двери), " she cried (плакала), " one is the bathroom (одна – ванная), one is the closet (одна – /стенной/ шкаф), and one has a sign on it that says (а на одной вывеска, табличка, которая гласит),

'Do Not Disturb'! (не беспокоить)"

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
" You can't get out of your room? " the captain asked, " Why not? "
The stewardess replied, " There are only three doors in here, " she cried, " one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says,
'Do Not Disturb'! "

Do Not Disturb!

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work (молодой человек, нанятый супермаркетом, явился для своего первого дня работы; to report – доложить, рапортовать; явиться, предстать). The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile (менеджер встретил его теплым рукопожатием и улыбкой), gave him a broom (дал ему метлу) and said (и сказал), " Your first job will be to sweep out the store (твое первое задание будет подмести в магазине). "

" But I'm a college graduate (но я выпускник колледжа), " the young man replied indignantly (ответил возмущенно).

" Oh, I'm sorry (сожалею). I didn't know that (я этого не знал), " said the manager. " Here, give me the broom (давай-ка мне сюда метлу) – I'll show you how (я покажу тебе, как). "

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, " Your first job will be to sweep out the store. "
" But I'm a college graduate, " the young man replied indignantly.
" Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that, " said the manager. " Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how. "

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that.

I'll show you how.

Little Susan was mother's helper (крошка Сьюзан была маминой помощницей). She helped to set the table (она помогала накрывать на стол) when company was due for dinner (должны были обедать). Presently everything was on (вскоре все было на /столе/), the guest came in (вошел гость), and everyone sat down (и все сели /to sit-sat-sat/). Then mother noticed (заметила) something was missing (чего-то недостает).

" Susan, " she said (сказала), " You didn't put a knife and fork (ты не положила нож и вилку) at Mr. Smith's place (на место мистера Смита). "

" I thought he wouldn't need them (я подумала, они не будут ему нужны), " explained (объяснила) Susan. " Daddy (папа) says he always eats like a horse! (он всегда ест, как лошадь)"

Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped to set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then mother noticed something was missing.
" Susan, " she said, " You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place. "
" I thought he wouldn't need them, " explained Susan. " Daddy says he always eats like a horse! "

Something is missing.

A blonde was walking along a river (блондинка шла вдоль реки) when she noticed (когда она заметила) another (другую) blonde on the opposite bank (на противоположном берегу).

She yells (она кричит), " How do I get to the other side of the river? (как мне попасть на другую сторону реки)"

The second (вторая) blonde replies (отвечает), " You are on the other side... (ты на другой стороне)"

A blonde was walking along a river when she noticed another blonde on the opposite bank.
She yells, " How do I get to the other side of the river? "
The second blonde replies, " You are on the other side... "

How do I get to the other side of the river?

Two women were in a hair salon (две женщины были в парикмахерской) talking about their home lives (разговаривая о своих домашних " жизнях" ) when the subject of flighty husbands came up (когда возникла тема ветреных мужей).

" It's unbelievable (это невероятно), " one woman said. " I can never figure out where he goes at night (я никогда не могу разгадать, куда он ходит ночью, вечером). "

" I know exactly what you mean (я в точности знаю, что ты имеешь в виду), " said the other woman. " One second he's in the house (в одно мгновенье он дома), and the next he's gone without a trace (а в следующее он исчез без следа). "

" Well, " says a woman eavesdropping nearby (подслушивающая рядом). " I always know where my husband is (я всегда знаю, где мой муж). "

" How do you manage that? (как вам это удается)" the other two women ask (спрашивают).

" Easy (легко), " she replies (отвечает). " I'm a widow (я вдова). "

Two women were in a hair salon talking about their home lives when the subject of flighty husbands came up.

" It's unbelievable, " one woman said. " I can never figure out where he goes at night. "
" I know exactly what you mean, " said the other woman. " One second he's in the house, and the next he's gone without a trace. "
" Well, " says a woman eavesdropping nearby. " I always know where my husband is. "
" How do you manage that? " the other two women ask.
" Easy, " she replies. " I'm a widow. "

It's unbelievable!

I know exactly what you mean.

How do you manage that?

When I was a youngster (когда я был юнцом), " complained the frustrated father (жаловался расстроенный отец), " I was disciplined (я был наказываем; disciplin [`dı sı plı n]) by being sent to my room without supper (" отсыланием", тем, что меня отсылали в мою комнату без ужина /to send-sent-sent/). But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player (но у моего сына есть его собственный цветной телевизор, телефон, компьютер, и СD плеер). "

" So what do you do? (и что же ты делаешь)" asked his friend (спросил его друг).

" I send him to MY room! (я посылаю его в мою комнату)"

When I was a youngster, " complained the frustrated father, " I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player. "
" So what do you do? " asked his friend.
" I send him to MY room! "

So what do you do?

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant (посетитель надоедал официанту в ресторане). First (во-первых), he asked that the air conditioning be turned up (он попросил увеличить работу кондиционера; to turn – поворачивать) because he was too hot (потому что ему было слишком жарко), then he asked it be turned down (уменьшить) ‘cause he was too cold (слишком холодно), and so on for about half an hour (и так /продолжалось/ около получаса).

Surprisingly (неожиданно; вопреки ожиданиям; to surprise – поражать, удивлять), the waiter was very patient (официант был очень терпеливым; patient [`peı ∫ (∂ )nt]), he walked back and forth (он ходил взад-вперед) and never once got angry (и ни разу не разозлился: " не стал сердитым" ). So finally (в конце концов), a second customer asked him (другой: " второй" посетитель спросил его) why he didn't throw out the pest (почему он не выгонит: «не выбросит» этого зануду; pest – мор, чума; бич, язва).

" Oh, I really don't care or mind (о, я совершенно не беспокоюсь и не забочусь), " said the waiter with a smile (с улыбкой). " We don't even have an air conditioner (у нас вообще: " даже" нет кондиционера). "

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down ‘cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
" Oh, I really don't care or mind, " said the waiter with a smile. " We don't even have an air conditioner. "

Oh, I really don't care or mind.

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home (человек навещает свою тетушку в доме для престарелых; to nurse – нянчить; ухаживать за больным). It turns out that she is taking a nap (при этом оказывается, что она дремлет; nap – короткий сон, дремота), so he just sits down in a chair in her room (так что он просто садится на стул в ее комнате), flips through a few magazines (просматривает несколько журналов; to flip – щелкать, ударять слегка; смахнуть /пепел с сигареты/), and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table (жует понемногу арахис, находящийся в вазочке на столе).

⇐ Предыдущая 1 2 3 4 567 8 9 10 Следующая ⇒