Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“Can you agree to that?” I asked.

His eyes drifted shut for a heartbeat, all the striking lines of his face were tense. “Always,” he whispered. “Yes.”

I reacted and pulled away from the rock. Closing the distance between our mouths, I kissed him. I knew the moment my lips touched Casteel’s, the very second his lips parted, that this was real.

I lifted my hands from the rock, looping them around his neck as I took what I wanted, tasting him on the tip of my tongue, reveling in the decadent thrill of his sharp teeth. I didn’t know what I was doing, only that instinct guided me. I moved my lips against his, nipping and exploring and learning.

And Casteel didn’t seem at all bothered by the artless inexperience. If anything, it seemed to inflame him. He gave me what I wanted. Kissing me with a wild sort of abandon that bordered on crazed.

When he ended the kiss, he was breathing just as heavily as I was. “We’re not pretending, Poppy? No more? You want me. Knowing everything, you want me.”

“What do you think?” I moved against his hand in demand.

His other hand dropped to my hip, stilling my movements. “I need to hear you say it, Princess.”

Of course, he did.

“Yes,” I nearly cursed. “I want you.”

“Good.” He slipped his hand from between my legs. “Because this is real.”

Before I could feel the loss of his wicked hand, he gripped my thighs and lifted me. I gasped, hands slipping over his shoulders as more than half of my body left the water.

“Hook your legs around my waist,” he commanded softly. “Do it.”

I did as he requested without complaint. It was rare. I hoped he recognized that.

He moved his hands back to my hips as he looked down to where my breasts were pillowed against his chest. “I would love to take my time because there are so many different ways I’d love to be real with you. Lay you out on the rocks and lick every inch of your body. Make you come that way. And then I’d want you on your knees and your mouth around my cock.”

I shuddered at the depraved images his words brought forth. That act had been in Miss Willa’s diary, and it had seemed abhorrent when I’d read it. But now? It sounded…intriguing. “I—I don’t know how to do that.”

“I don’t think you could do it wrong,” he told me, eyes flaring intently. “But I’d show you. I’d show you how to use your mouth and tongue. If we had time, we would play.” His hands tightened at my waist. “But we don’t have time, Princess.”

“No.” My heart pounded. “We don’t.”

His gaze held mine. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.” The muscles under my hands bunched as he said, “Princess?”

“Your Highness?”

Those eyes of his turned to molten amber. “I’m going to need you to hold onto me and not let go, because I’m about to fuck you like I promised.”

I gasped at his lewd—deliciously so—words. “Yes. Please.”

Casteel didn’t respond with words. He did so with action, guiding me down until I felt him nudging my entrance. I bit down on my lip.

“Lower your legs,” he demanded. “Just a little—there. That’s perfect.” His lips returned to mine. “You’re perfect.”

“I—” My words ended in a cry that he captured with a kiss. He filled me, stretching me until I wasn’t sure if this position would work. Or if I would work. We’d only done this twice. I’d only done this twice. But I held on, my fingers digging into his skin as he kept sinking into me, deeper and deeper until there was no space between us, and Casteel shook.

He dragged one hand down my back, folding his arm around me. And then he…he held me there, against his chest, buried deep inside. “You okay?” he rasped, lips brushing mine. “Poppy?”

I nodded, easing my grip on his shoulders.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” I whispered, my eyes closed. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t feel exactly comfortable, but I knew there was more. I shifted, wiggling my hips.

He groaned my name. “Poppy…”

I ignored the way my heart clenched in response to his voice. I didn’t want that. I wanted the hardness between my legs and inside me, needed what it made me feel. I didn’t want my heart getting involved.

I squirmed, gasping as pleasure sparked.

“Gods, Poppy. I’m trying—” A sound rumbled from him, vibrating through me. “I’m trying to make sure you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” I told him. I’ve been ready.

He cursed, but then he moved, thrusting his hips up as the hand on mine pulled down. My eyes went wide at the raw sensation of him moving inside me, slow and deep. I sighed, muscles I didn’t realize were even tense relaxing.

“That’s it.” His words were barely a whisper. “Gods, you feel…” The hand guiding me spasmed and then loosened as I lifted myself on his length. “You feel like all I could ever want.”

I’d never wanted to believe something more in my life, and that realization threatened everything.

“We’re being real,” I reminded him, seeking out his mouth. “Don’t lie to me now.”

He went rigid against me for a handful of seconds, and then he bit out a harsh laugh. “You’re right.” His hand fisted in my hair, pulling my head back. “We don’t need to lie now.”

His mouth covered mine, and one of his fangs scraped my lip, dragging a husky moan from me. A staggered heartbeat later, we were back at that rock, one of his arms around me and the other hand in my hair, the only things between the hard surface and my skin as he rolled into me, pinning my hips.

And then he did what he promised.

Casteel fucked.

His hips slammed into mine, and the way I was held there, all I could do was whatever he demanded. I held on as the frothy water foamed and bubbled violently around us. Each thrust of his hips felt as greedy as the strokes of my tongue against his. Every plunge of his hips felt more like an act of possession than the one before. My head fell back but never reached the rock because of his hand, and the world was a kaleidoscope of broken sunlight, slate-colored walls, and vibrant petals. I tightened—everything in me tightened as his head dropped to my shoulder, his body grinding into mine. I curled myself around him, pressing my face into his neck, tasting the sweet water and the salt of his skin. My pulse thundered through me, his just as strong against my cheek. Our bodies moved in a frenzy, and it felt like he was everywhere at once, stealing my breath. There was no hesitation. No slowing down or coming up for air. We were both swept away in the madness, lost in the tension coiling tighter and tighter. I thought it would shatter me, shatter us both, but he gave me what I wanted so badly.

The feel of his skin against mine crowded out the world until there was only us. The touch of his lips against my neck, my cheek, had already chased away any protests. His mouth found mine once more as his hands held me so tightly to him, so carefully, preventing the sting of guilt from even forming. He moved so deeply inside me that I couldn’t feel anything but him, and when release found me, it also found him, devouring us both, leaving no room to fear what awaited and making what seemed impossible, possible.

I felt weightless in Casteel’s arms, cheek resting on his shoulder and feet floating several inches above the pool’s floor. I’d attempted to move away earlier, after the last of the pleasure abated and reality started to seep in with the fading sunlight. I didn’t make it far, though. Casteel didn’t let me. He kept his arms around me.

“Not yet,” he’d said as he guided my cheek to his shoulder.

It felt like permission. I didn’t fight him. I blamed a lot of things for this, even though I had no desire to fight him then. The warmth of the pool and his skin for starters. The way he moved his hand up and down my spine was entirely too soothing. The languidness in my body was also at fault, and so was the truth that it felt lovely to be held, especially like this, with no barriers between us.

After being forbidden human touch for so long, his nakedness was like being offered a platter of the most decadent chocolates and sweets. I traced tiny circles on his other shoulder, wishing I had the courage to explore the hardness, the indents and scars. Instead, I satisfied my curiosity with the way his skin felt under my fingers and how his body felt like steel wrapped in satin.

And I…gods, I soaked in every moment, my eyes glued to the side of his neck, the damp curl of his hair. In the secret chambers of my heart, I cherished these moments.

I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, nothing but the sound of the water and the calls of the birds outside around us. Casteel seemed to know exactly when someone neared the cave.

“It’s Kieran. He’s the only one who would know to find me here.” He gently disentangled himself from me, and I thought I felt his lips brush over the crown of my head. “I’ll be right back.”

I sank to my shoulders as he glided through the water and then rose. I got an eyeful, one that shouldn’t have heated my face as much as it did given what we’d done. He stopped to grab his pants, but didn’t pull them on.

Casteel walked out of the cavern as naked as the day he was born, and if he didn’t stop to put on those pants, Kieran was about to get one hell of an eyeful.

“Okay, then,” I whispered and then laughed, the sound echoing in the chamber.

My head fell back as I stared at the slivers of sunlight, searching for remorse or shame. Like before, I only found uncertainty. Not for what we’d shared, but for what it meant. We hadn’t been pretending.

What we’d shared had been real. No games. No pretenses. No half-truths.

I dragged my teeth over my lower lip. It felt swollen from his kisses. I lifted my fingers to my mouth, shivering as I thought of how he’d claimed it just as thoroughly as he’d done with the rest of my body.

I turned at the sound of Casteel’s footsteps. Thank all the gods, he was halfway clothed. The flap of buttons was undone, though, and I had no idea how the pants stayed on his hips. He carried a white bundle in his hands, which he laid carefully on the floor of the cave.

“Kieran figured we were headed here. He brought some fresh clothes for both of us and a towel.”

I couldn’t even fathom how Kieran had been that intuitive, and I probably didn’t want to know.

He extended a hand, offering a thick, white towel. “It goes without saying that I prefer the naked, wet version of you. But it’s time to dry off and be presentable.”

I shook my head as I moved forward, slowing when the bubbling water started to drop below my chest. Why was I hesitating? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen my breasts, the scars, and everything else. He was waiting, watching me, and hadn’t I done the same earlier? Watched him undress unabashedly? Shoring up courage, I continued on, and the strangest thing happened. Each step became easier, even as the water dropped to my ribcage and then to my navel. Even as Casteel’s gaze followed the water level. His lips parted slightly, and I was confident that Nyktos himself could arrive, and Casteel wouldn’t look away from me. I realized there was power in that, in being a source of distraction for him. The edges of his fangs dragged over his lower lip as the water fizzed around my inner thighs and then lower. Pretending or not, he enjoyed what he saw as I climbed the earthen steps.

“I’ll help.” He spread the towel wide. “I know you don’t need it, but I want to.”

I said nothing as I stood in front of him, bare as he’d been. He stepped in behind me, rubbing the towel over my wet hair.

“This should be dried first,” he explained, and I was fully aware that he was staring down at me as he squeezed the excess water from my hair. I knew he saw the tips of my breasts pucker and could see the flush I felt tinting my skin.

“Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold,” he said, voice rough. “That’s what I hear about wet hair.”

“Uh-huh.” My jaw worked as a smile tugged at my lips.

“I’m just being thorough.” He slid the towel down my arms, all the way to the tips of my fingers and then across my back. “You’ll thank me later.”

“For being thorough?”

“Among other things.” He dragged the cloth over my stomach and then up, catching the water between my breasts. His hands lingered there before he turned me to him.

He knelt before me, sending my stomach tumbling as he drew the towel up my left leg, then my right, and finally between them. I sucked in a sharp breath, swaying slightly.

“Just being thorough,” he reminded me, his eyes hooded. “I wouldn’t want you unnecessarily wet, Princess.”

I had a feeling he meant something else.

The towel smoothed over my backside. “I think you’re all dry now.” His gaze slowly made its way to mine. “Mostly.”

Yes.

Mostly.

Grinning, he leaned his head down and kissed the faded, jagged scar on my inner thigh. The act startled me out of the pleasant haze. I watched him rise, a thousand different thoughts racing through my head as he wrapped the towel around me.

I grabbed hold of the edges. “Casteel—”

“I know.” He placed a finger over my lips. “What we’ve done here stays here.”

I blinked, stung at once by words I wasn’t sure I even understood. I wasn’t going to say that. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to say.

He turned, picking up the white shirt, which was such a contrast against his tan skin. A lock of dark hair toppled over his forehead, softening his features as he bent his head, buttoning his pants. There was a curl low in my stomach. How could he make such an ordinary act as dressing appear so sensual?

I honestly didn’t need to stand there and watch him dress. Dropping the towel, I quickly put on my clothes.

“Here.” Casteel fixed my sleeves again.

I didn’t know exactly what it was about that moment that made me think of the consequences of what we’d just done. The fact that it hadn’t even crossed my mind until now showed that I needed to make better life choices.

“You said that you took prevention for pregnancy,” I said, recalling that he’d taken an herb that rendered both males and females temporarily infertile. “Are you still covered?”

“Yes. I’m careful, Poppy,” he said without hesitation, gathering up our clothing and my boots. “I wouldn’t risk a child.”

Between us.

He hadn’t said that, but it hung in the air nonetheless. And there was another odd, irrational bite. One which made no sense because of the idea of having a child with anyone was more terrifying than finding an actual creature with fins for legs and tails for arms under my bed.

There was something obviously wrong with me because it still hurt.

Because what was real to him wasn’t the same for me.

Word of what I’d done to Beckett had spread. I knew this because everyone stared as I lifted a spoonful of thick herbal soup.

Well, not everyone.

Two Atlantians had commandeered Casteel’s attention. So had Kieran. I had no idea where Delano and Naill had disappeared to, and it could literally be anywhere since we were in one of the larger buildings in the town center. But the rest were either sneaking peeks in my direction or outright staring.

The mortals and Atlantians who sat at the table before us. The wolven interspersed throughout the rest of the tables. They all stared. Not that I could blame them. I had glowed silver, and I had healed someone with my touch. I’d be staring at someone who I’d heard or seen do that, too. But it was what was behind those stares that unnerved me. The air fairly vibrated with emotion, and like before, I hadn’t needed to concentrate, to open myself to feel the near hostility of most around me.

Swallowing the rich, flavorful soup, I lifted my gaze to the banners that hung on either side of the door. They rippled softly in the breeze coming through the open windows, which caught the blades of several fans, keeping the packed room cool.

A soft touch to my arm drew my attention to my right, where Alastir sat. “Would you like to take your dinner in your private quarters?” he asked quietly. “If so, I can escort you back to the fort.”

I lowered my spoon as I glanced to where Casteel sat at the head of the table. He was listening to an Atlantian as he rooted around on a plate of cheeses, inspecting each one as if he were looking for the perfect one or flaws. I refocused on Alastir. “Do I look that uncomfortable?”

A tight, worried smile appeared. “You’ve barely touched your food.”

It was hard to eat while people stared. My gaze flickered over the crowded room. Part of me wanted to excuse myself and return to my bedchamber, but this was only one of many dinners or events where I would be the object of interest. Plus, hiding in my quarters may be the easier option, but it would also be more cowardly. And besides, no one was projecting their emotions. There wasn’t a screamer among them, so I could ignore them. Mostly.

“I’m fine,” I decided.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I know it must be hard to be around so many who aren’t welcoming of you and know how they feel. I would not think ill of you if you don’t want to expose yourself to that. And just know that anyone who has spent even a few minutes in your presence does not feel that way. The rest will come to know you, I’m sure. But until then, I apologize for their behavior.”

He squeezed my arm gently. “Did you know that this was once a very busy trading post?”

I swallowed the knot his words formed in my chest.

“When Atlantia ruled over the entire kingdom, this was the first and last major city before you crossed the Skotos Mountains. There used to be…thousands that once passed through here,” he said, sighing as his gaze coasted over the bare walls. “It was such a shame to see what became of this place, but Casteel and these people are slowly restoring it and bringing new life.”

Quentyn strode out from an area where the food had been prepared, carrying a large pitcher. Another trailed behind him, shorter and younger with a slight limp. It took me a moment to recognize the boy with the black hair and tan skin. I’d only seen him in his wolven form and very briefly as a mortal, but his skin had been pale and clammy then.

Beckett.

I watched him refill the glasses at the end of the table and make his way toward us. As he refilled his great-uncle’s glass, he finally looked at me.

“We already met,” he whispered. “Kind of.”

“Beckett,” I said. “How are you feeling?”

“Almost perfect.” He poured water into my glass as he glanced back at Alastir before dipping his chin. “Thank you. I can’t say that enough.”

“You already have.”

A wide, toothy grin broke out across his face but quickly faded, and I felt a sharp spike of…of fear before he moved on to the other side of the table.

Was he now afraid of me?

I sat back as the knot in my chest expanded. I couldn’t understand why. I’d healed him—how I’d done that, I had no idea—but Beckett had to know that I wasn’t someone to fear.

“Penellaphe? Are you all right?”

A ragged breath left me as I looked at Alastir. “Yeah. Yes.” I smiled as I turned my attention back to him. “They seem very helpful. Beckett and Quentyn.”

“Respecting your elders is drilled into the young from a very early age. You will often find the youngest helping to serve food and drink at many dinner tables throughout Atlantia,” Casteel explained, having overheard me.

Alastir snorted. “Except for you. You always had your nose in a book at the dinner table.”

Surprise distracted me from Beckett’s response. “What were you reading?”

“Usually history books or my studies,” he answered, one side of his lips tipping up. “I was an utterly boring child most of the time.”

My eyes connected with Kieran’s briefly, reminding me of what he’d shared about Casteel being the serious one.

“Well, your brother made up for that,” Alastir said, shaking his head. “You didn’t want Malik serving you anything at dinner.”

My gaze flew back to Casteel, and I watched his smile grow. I didn’t know what I expected, but it was so rare that anyone spoke of his brother.

“Malik would often…experiment with the drinks and food,” Casteel said when he caught my gaze. “And you did not want to be on the receiving end of those experiments.”

“I’m half afraid to ask,” I said.

“But you will,” Kieran murmured.

I ignored the wolven.

So did Casteel. “He would add lemon and pepper to juice, salt to dishes meant to be sweet, and generally ruin whatever it was that you were excited to eat.”

“That’s terrible,” I said, laughing.

He leaned over, lashes lowering as he said. “And yet, you laugh.”

“Yes.”

Casteel lifted his gaze, and the heat in it sent a shiver dancing over my skin. “Probably because it sounds like something you’d do.”

“Possibly.”

He chuckled as he straightened, turning back to the other table as he returned to picking through the cheese.

“How many—?” I stopped as Casteel’s hand brushed mine. He placed a hunk of cheese on my plate, one that had been thinly sliced. I glanced over at him. He was now listening to another mortal from the table behind ours. “Thank you.”

He nodded.

I picked up the cheese, smiling slightly before eating a piece of it. A sudden burst of laughter drew my attention. Kieran had risen, moved to sit with a few men at the end of the table. The laugh had come from where Beckett and Quentyn sat with Emil and some other men who’d traveled with Alastir. Wondering what had made Emil laugh so loudly, I tugged my attention away.

My gaze collided with that of two mortals. They were older. Males. One of them spoke in the other’s ear. The second man with neatly trimmed blond hair curled his lip. His disgust soured the cheese.

I took a drink, washing away the taste. That wasn’t the first unfriendly stare or mannerism I’d received, all done when Casteel was distracted—like now, since he’d risen to speak with a woman who was all bones and wrinkled skin. My grip tightened on the glass. Each time I caught one of their looks or stares, I wanted to ask if they needed assistance with something. I wanted to hold their stares until they grew as uncomfortable as I felt, but I said nothing. I did nothing. Just like when the Priestess scolded me, or the Duke lectured me.

“Don’t pay them any mind,” Alastir murmured quietly.

I placed my glass on the table.

“They just don’t know you,” he repeated. His smile was as false as the one I often wore as the Maiden. “Their distrust or even dislike of you is something you must get used to as their Princess and soon-to-be Queen.”

Queen.

My entire body seized. That wasn’t going to happen, I reminded myself. Even if the impossible happened and Casteel and I—well, I couldn’t even finish that thought. Casteel didn’t want to become King.

“If you don’t wish to step back and remove yourself from this situation, then you can’t let it show that their feelings are getting to you. You can’t let Casteel know, lest we have another Landell situation on our hands,” he continued. “I don’t know for sure what he feels for you, but one thing is evident. He will act upon any perceived insult to your honor. There is power there, Penellaphe. You are the neck that turns the head of the kingdom.”

I stared at him.

“I’m sorry. You probably don’t understand any of that. You weren’t prepared for this. That’s not your fault,” he said, and yet, it sort of felt like it was. “None of this is. His engagement to you is utterly unexpected.”

“I’m sure their dislike of me has more to do with who I was and not that I’m marrying their Prince.” I thought about that. “Or it’s an equal combination of the two.”

“That, and they have all heard that he originally planned to use you for ransom. They don’t understand how love has blossomed from that. Neither do I, even after his claims of love.”

“Stranger things have happened,” I muttered as Casteel moved toward the entryway just as the door opened. A tall man walked in, black ink swirling over the swarthy skin of both arms, all the way up to his shoulders. His hair was shaggy, a silvery hue that had nothing to do with his age. There were only faint lines at the corners of his eyes when he smiled upon seeing Casteel.

“I’m sure they have,” Alastir said, lowering his voice as Casteel clasped hands with the silvery-haired man. Was that Jasper? He was too far away for me to see his eyes. “But I’ve known him his entire life. More importantly, I’ve seen him in love, Penellaphe.”

By an act of sheer will, I kept my face blank as I looked at Alastir. I couldn’t…I couldn’t believe he’d said that. But all I felt from him was concern.

“They were expecting someone else as their Princess,” he went on. “It’s not just you.”

“Someone who was not the Maiden?” I surmised.

“Well, of course. But as you know, he was expected to marry upon his return—” He snapped his mouth shut as his brows lowered. “He didn’t tell you?”

A strange thumping started in my body. “Didn’t tell me what?” Alastir started to look away, but I grabbed his arm. “Didn’t tell me what?” I demanded.

“Good gods, that idiotic boy.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, and I felt the flare of annoyance in him. “One of these days, I will learn to keep my mouth shut.”

I sure hoped not, since it was clear there was a lot I’d never hear if it weren’t for him.

“Why do I have a feeling I’m the idiotic boy you speak of?” Casteel asked as he returned to his seat. The smile on his face faded as he took in Alastir’s and my expressions. “What have you two been whispering about?”

“I don’t think now is the time—” Alastir started.

“I think now is the perfect time,” I cut in, well aware that those around us were starting to pay attention.

“As do I.” Casteel eyed Alastir. “Speak.”

That one command demanded a response. Alastir shook his head, jaw tight as he said, “You didn’t tell her that you were already promised to another.”

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