A Sad Story

A friend of mine, Simon, has been having terrible problems recently. His girlfriend left him not long ago, and he was so upset that he decided to go out and get drunk. After drinking about half a bottle of whisky, the idiot tried to drive home and crashed into the nearest lamppost. Fortunately, he wasn’t going very fast, so he wasn’t injured, but there was a police car behind him, so they arrested him for drunk driving. He thought he was going to have to spend the night in the police station, but then he phoned me — at 3 in the morning — and I went along and paid the fine and took him back to his house. He had drunk so much that he felt terrible in the morning, so he went back to sleep when his alarm clock rang. He woke up 15 minutes later, though, because he suddenly remembered that he had an important meeting with his boss that morning. He jumped out of bed and had breakfast while he was getting dressed. He was in such a hurry that he spilt coffee all over his shirt, but he didn’t notice, so he left the house without changing. Of course, he had missed the bus, so he had to run all the way to the office. He ran so fast that he fell and cut his face. He finally arrived at the office twenty minutes late, sweating, with blood on his face and coffee on his shirt. His boss was very angry and told him to go home again and clean himself up. Unfortunately, Simon then lost his temper and shouted at his boss, who gave him the sack on the spot. That was too much for poor Simon —he walked out of the office in a daze and crossed the road without looking where he was going, and he was immediately knocked down by a car. They took him to hospital, and he spent three weeks there. Still, all’s well that ends well; he met a very nice nurse there and now he’s forgotten all about his ex-girlfriend.