2. Alone. 3. Challenge

2. Alone

Brother Colin, I shall not prevaricate to you, who are my flesh and blood as well as a fellow servant of God. I have only begun my work here and shall be content if it takes me until the end of my days to reach the people of Barra Head. But it has been a surprise to discover how the populace resists the Good Word. There is a handful of devout souls, to be sure, but everywhere the old religion pervades. Where I look, I see ancient Sigils chipped into rock faces, painted on the crude sod and stone houses: even herb gardens grown in heathen patterns. Surely God has sent me here to save these people, these so called Wodebaynes.

–Brother Sinestus Tor, to his brother Colin, November 1767

Hours later I lay in bed, watching the interplay of shadows on my recently painted bedroom walls. I'd thought I was exhausted, but sleep hadn't come. Now I let my senses float out into the house. Mary K., separated from me by a bathroom, was deeply asleep. She's come home shortly after my parents had, completely excited by the prospect of eleven days at her friend Jaycee's house: an uninterrupted slumber party. Her three suitcases were already packed and by the front door.

My parents, too, where asleep: my mother lightly, fitfully, my dad more deeply. They where nervous about the trip, about being away from us.

I turned on my side. Tonight I'd made objects levitate. It had been amazing and even a little frightening. If I weren't so distraught, it would have been joyful, beautiful. Well, that was Wicca: light and dark at the same time and part of the same thing. Day turning into night. Beauty and ugliness, good and bad. The rose and the thorn.

Morgan. As the voice echoed in my head, I blinked, sending my senses out more strongly. Oh my God, Hunter was right outside the front door: It was one‑ thirty in the morning. I had two thoughts: I can't face him. And: I hope he doesn't wake my parents.

Morgan. I bit my lip and got of bed, knowing I had no choice. Despite my unhappiness, my traitorous heart skipped a beat in anticipation of seeing Hunter. Very quietly I pushed my feet into my bear claw slippers and padded downstairs as silently as I could.

He stood there, his fine hair glinting with winter moonlight. His face was in darkness, but I saw the hard line of his jaw, the sculpted curve of his cheekbone. It had been only a few days, but I longed for him with a physical ache.

" Hi, " I said, looking away from him. My hair was unbrushed, and my face felt tired and drawn.

" You missed a circle, " he said evenly, tilting his head back to see me. The cold January air made his words come out like a dragon's breath. " Why? "

Experienced witches can lie and deceive each other fairly successfully. But if I lied to Hunter, he would know it. " I didn't want to see you. " I tried to sounds strong, but I'm sure my body language was screaming anguish.

" Why? " His expression didn't change, but I could sense the hurt and anger I caused him. " Am I repellent now? "

I shook my head. " Of course not, " I said. " But I wanted more time alone since we just broke up. "

" Part of Wicca is making the commitment to observe the turning of the Wheel, " Hunter said. " The weekly circle is just as important as your personal life. "

Count to ten before you speak, I reminded myself. He made it sound like I missed the circle because I had a zit. But he had seen how upset and shocked and freaked out I had been after what had happened in New York–after finding out that my father wasn't gentle Angus Bramson, the man who had loved and lived with my mother for several years, but Ciaran MacEwan, the evil and destructive witch who had eventually killed her. Hunter had seen for himself how ruthless Ciaran was, so much a pure Woodbane, dedicated to acquiring power at any costs. With a father like that, did I have a chance of turning out okay? I was pure Woodbane myself. Was it just a matter of time before I was lured by dark magick? And how could I stand to see the look on Hunter's face if and when I finally went bad? His horror and disillusionment?

" I know the circle is important, " I said stiffly. " But I wanted some time alone. "

" I guess it's a matter of priorities, " he said in a tone he knew infuriated me.

Knowing that he was trying to goad me didn't stop me from reacting as if he had thrown a match onto a puddle of gasoline.

" My priorities are to keep you and everyone else in Kithic away from a potentially evil influence! " I hissed into the night air.

" Funny how you can decide what's best for us all. " Hunter, of all people, knew exactly how to get to me. " You'd do well to remember just how little training you have. Perhaps we can make our own decisions about who we want to associate with. Who we want to make magick with. "

I looked at Hunter, trying to control my anger. I knew that he was angry with me for missing the circle, but it was infuriating that he could ignore what had happened between us so easily–that my being a powerful witch meant I wasn't allowed to have human emotions. I had spent the last few days in absolute misery; how could I just go back to the circle like nothing had happened to me?

" Plus there's the fact that I don't love you, " I said finally, praying for the conversation to end. " That had something to do with it. "

Hunter's green eyes were shaded gray by the pale light. But they seemed to look right through my eyes into me psyche, into the innermost me. He knew I was lying.

" We should be together. " His words sounded like they cost him.

" We can't. " My throat felt thick.

He looked up at the night sky. " You should come to the circles. If not with Kithic, then with another coven.

My heart hurt. I wanted so much to tell him about my levitating experience. But it was better for him if I didn't share myself with him at all. Suddenly exhausted, I turned to the front door:

" Goodnight Hunter. "

" So you say. "

His voice rang in my ears as I slipped into the house.

" Morning! " Mary K. sang, unnaturally perky as usual. All of the Rowlandses were morning people, wide awake with the sunrise and ready to go long before my natural biorhythms had kicked me into a vertical position. Before Mary K. and I knew I was adopted, it had been a family joke that I stood out so much. No one mentioned it anymore.

" Morning Honey, " my mom said briefly, then turned to me. " Morgan, Dad and I are still concerned about you staying in the house alone. But I understand that if you stayed at Eileen's and Paula's, you would have a longer commute to and from school. "

" Much longer, " I said. " like forty‑ five minutes. "

" Not that it would kill you to get up earlier, " Mom went on. " But your father and I have discussed it, and we trust you to stay here because we know that you would never want to let us down or make us feel that trust was misplaced. "

" Uh‑ huh, " I said. Behind Mom, Mary K. watched us with interest.

" But to be on the safe side, " Mom went on, " I've jotted down a few house rules. I'd like you to read them and make sure you understand everything. "

My eyes went wide as she handed me a sheet of notepaper. I took it from her and slowly read it while Mary K. hovered, barely disguising her curiosity.

It was about behavior they expected me to display while they where out of town. Display? I thought. As if I would be doing everything out on the front lawn. I read further. It basically said no boys in the house, I couldn't miss school, I had to do my homework, call Aunt Eileen every day and check in, I couldn't have parties…

My response was crucial here–I was awake enough to recognize that.

" Well, it looks like you covered everything, " I began.

My dad came in then and headed for the coffeemaker. He glanced over at us and made the strategic decision to take his coffee into the living room.

" I mean, it seams fair, " I told her. " Pretty much common sense. "

" So all this seems okay? " Mom asked.

" Well, sure, " I said. " I mean, I wouldn't be having parties anyway. "

" Or boys in the house? Hunter? "

I tried not to wince. " We broke up remember? "

" Oh, honey, I'm sorry for mentioning it. " Mom said, looking concerned. " Will you be all right alone? "

" Of course I will, Mom. I'm fine. "

She hesitated, but I waved her off, plastering a cheerful smile in my face. After Mom went upstairs, I sat with my tea while Mary K. perched on a chair across from me, her big brown eyes asking for details. " What were all those rules about? "

" Oh, about being straight and narrow while they where gone, like a saint. "

" Really? So no orgies? "

I groaned. " So funny. "

She giggled. " I can't believe they gave you a list of rules. It's not like your Bree. "

Bree Warren had been my best friend for eleven years, until Cal Blaire had moved to Widow's Vale. When she first laid eyes on Cal, she knew that she wanted him, but he wanted me, and Bree did not take that well. The story got more complicated from there. She and Cal had slept together before Cal became my boyfriend, and Cal tried to kill me when I refused to practice dark magick with his mother's coven. It had all come to a close one horrible night in his mother's library, when both Cal and his mother Selene, were killed as she tried to steal my powers. Bree and I had been trying to forge an new friendship, but we were moving slowly.

Mary K. was referring to the fact that Bree's parents were divorced, and she lived with her dad. Mr. Warren was a lawyer with tons of money and not much time for Bree. She often stayed by herself in their big house for weeks at a time, which gave her a lot of opportunity to experiment. Bree wasn't really wild, but she was rich and unsupervised.

" No, I'm not Bree, " I agreed.

" Are you going to follow the rules or blow them off? "

My sister's sweet expression and innocent demeanor always made me forget that she was very shrewd for a fourteen‑ year‑ old.

" Ugh. " I put my head down on the table. " They make me feel like I'm ten years old. "

Mary K. giggled and put down her mug. " It'll be good for you, Saint Morgan, " she said, standing up. " Like penance. "

" Good‑ bye, honey, " my mom said an hour later. " Be careful. And if you need anything, call Eileen. "

" Sure, " I said. " Don't worry. "

" I will worry, " she said, looking into my eyes. " That's what mothers do. "

All at once I got that awful feeling in my throat that signaled that I was about to cry. I reached over and hugged the only mother I had ever known, and she hugged me back.

" I love you, " I said, feeling embarrassed and sad. I realized I would miss them while they were away.

" I love you too, honey. " Then she turned and got into Dad's car, and Mary K. waved at me from the backseat. I waved back and watched the car until they went around the corner and I couldn't see it anymore. Then I realized I was freezing, standing out here, and went into the house that would be mine alone for the next eleven days.

It was extremely quiet inside. Casting my sensed, I picked up only Dagda, sleeping deeply as usual. The refrigerator hummed in the kitchen; the grandfather clock my dad had built from a kit ticked loudly. With irrational panic, I suddenly felt like every ax murderer in the area was picking up his ears, knowing he should home in on this address right away.

" Stop it, " I told myself in disgust, plopping down in front of the TV.

When the doorbell rang half an hour later, I jumped a foot in the air. I hadn't perceived anyone coming up the walk, and that realization made my heart kick into overdrive.

I cast my senses strongly as I crept to peer through the peephole. I sensed a blood witch right before I saw the small, red haired woman on the front porch. A witch, but no one I knew. I didn't feel any danger, but I might not, if she was powerful enough.

I opened the door. A strong witch who wanted to come into the house could probably do it despite the ward‑ evil and boundary spells I had set all around the house.

" Hello Morgan, " she said. Her eyes were a light, warm brown, like caramel. " My name is Eoife McNabb. I'm sub elder of the council. I want to talk to you about Ciaran MacEwan. Your father. "

3. Challenge

Winter has set upon us, Brother Colin, and it is a raw one, compared to Weymonth's mildness. It does not freeze, not yet snow, but it is cold with a wetness that chills one's bones to the marrow. Brother Colin, I have not wavered in my devotion to these people and my blessed calling of spreading God's Word. But I tell you, the people of Barra Head have a deep suspicion of me, the other brothers (there are five), and even our blessed Father Benedict, who is as holy as a man as I have known. Heads turn away as we walk through the village, dogs bark, children run and hide. Today I found a marking drawn on the abbey door. It was a star encircled. The sight of this devil's mark made my blood run cold.

– Brother Sinestus Tor, to Colin, January 1768

I stood in my doorway for a moment, blinking stupidly at Eoife McNabb. I felt like she'd just somehow sucked all the air out of my lungs.

At last I realized I was being rude. " Um–do you want to come in? " I asked.

" Yes, thank you. " She stepped in and looked around our hallway and living room with interest. From what I could pick up, she was worried, a little tense, and unsure about coming here. I guess she felt me scanning her senses because she blinked and looked at me more closely.

" Um, sit down, Eva, " I said, waving a hand at the couch. " Do you want something to drink? Some tea? " Since she had (I thought) a Scottish accent, I figured tea was a safe bet.

" It's Eoife, " she corrected. " E‑ o‑ i‑ f‑ e. Tea would be lovely thanks. "

" Eef‑ uh? "

She gave a slight smile. " Close enough. " She stepped into the living room and took off her heavy wool coot. Underneath she was dressed in black pants and a pink turtleneck that clashed amazingly with her carrot‑ colored hair. Her image stayed with me as I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. She had no freckles to go with that hair. Her face was smooth and unlined, but she gave the impression of being older then she looked. In her forties, maybe? It was impossible to tell.

I brought the tray out a few minutes later. Eoife waited until we had our cups in front of us, and then she looked at me, as if I were an exhibit she's heard a lot about and was finally seeing. I looked back at her.

" How do you know me? " I asked.

She took a sip of her tea. " There are very few council members who don't know about you, " she said. " Of course we'd been watching Selene Belltower for years, and anyone who came into contact with her. From the very beginning, the council has found you very interesting. Then recently we learned that you were the daughter of Ciaran MacEwan and Maeve Riordan. As you can imagine that heightened our interest. "

I could feel my eyes widening. " You mean the council has been spying on me? "

For a moment Eoife looked almost uncomfortable, but the expression passed so quickly that I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not.

" No, not spying, " she said, in her melodic Scottish accent. " But surely you of all people understand that there are dark forces out there. The council tries to protect all witches: especially those who practice only bright magick, who understand the dangers of the dark. "

Then where were you when I was in danger of having my power sucked out in New York? I thought angrily.

" We know, of course, what happened to you in New York, " Eoife said, and I wondered if she was aware of my thoughts. It was incredibly irritating. " It was appalling, " she went on quietly. " It must have been horrific for you. Someday the council would like to hear the whole story–not just what Hunter knows. "

A cold fist gripped my heart. Hunter. Of course. He was a seeker for the council. What else had he told them? He knew more about me than anyone else. I felt sick.

I took a sip of tea, trying to calm down. It didn't have the life‑ affirming jolt that Diet Coke had, but I was getting used to it. It was a very witchy drink.

" Okay, so Hunter's been reporting on me. " I tried to sounds casual. " Fine. But why, exactly, are you so interested in me now? " Three months ago I would have been too insecure and intimidated to be this direct. Almost being killed more than once had put insecurity into perspective.

" Hunter is your loyal friend, " Eoife said. " And we're interested in you for several reasons. First, because you've impressed several of out contacts with your remarkable power. Some of the things you're apparently capable of are simply unfathomable, coming from an uninitiated witch who's been studying only three months. Second, because you're the daughter of two extremely powerful witches–a daughter we didn't know either of them had. Bradhadair was the strongest witch Belwicket had seen in generations. "

Badhadair had been Maeve's coven name. It meant " Fire Fairy. "

" We know about Ciaran's other children, of course, " Eoife went on. " To tell you the truth, none of them has caused waves of excitement. "

Ciaran had three children with is estranged wife, back in Scotland. I had met one of them, Killian, in New York. My half brother. Ciaran and Maeve had been lovers, and I was the illegitimate result. Ciaran hadn't even known I existed until a few days ago.

" The council needs you to find Ciaran. "

Eoife dropped this bomb right after I had taken a sip of tea, and almost spit it out all over her. I gulped and swallowed, trying not to cough.

" What? " I asked.

" Do you know what a dark wave is? " Eoife asked.

" It's… devastation, " I said. " I read about it in my mother's Book of Shadows. A dark wave can kill people, level houses, destroy whole villages, whole covens. "

" You have Maeve's of Belwicket's Book of Shadows? " Eoife's eyes practically gleamed.

" Yes, " I said quietly, feeling a little resentful of her excitement. " But it's private. "

She sat back and looked at me. " You're very… interesting, " she said, as if speaking to herself. " Very interesting. " The she remembered where we were in the conversation. " Yes. In essence, a dark wave is destruction. Utter destruction. Belwicket was obliterated by one. Until recently, no one knew Maeve and Angus had survived. "

Angus Bramson had been Maeve's lover also. They had know each other since childhood and had lived together after they had fled to America. But Angus wasn't her mù irn beatha dà n. Maeve loved him, but she never felt the connection to him that she did to Ciaran. Maeve had never married Angus, and he wasn't my father. But he had died by Maeve's side in a barn in upstate New York. Ciaran had locked them inside the barn and set on fire.

" Belwicket isn't the only coven that had been decimated by a dark wave, " Eoife went on. She took a picture out of her black leather brief case. " This was Riverwarry, " she said, handing me the photograph. It was a black‑ and‑ white shot of a charming village. I couldn't tell if it was Irish, English, Scottish or Welsh.

" This is Riverwarry now, " she went on, handing me another photograph.

My heart filled with sadness as I saw what had happened to Riverwarry. It looked like a bomb had gone off right in the center village. Only rubble remained: bits of wall, shiny, melted lumps of glass that had once been windows, blackened remains of trees and shrubs. I was afraid to look too closely–in Maeve's BOS, she had described how she had seen the body of her cat among the ruins and her mothers hand beneath a crumpled wall.

" There are many others, " Eoife said, gesturing to a stack of photographs in her briefcase. " Chip Munding, Bett's Field, The MacDouglas, Knifewind, Crossbrig, Hollysberry, Incdunning. Among others. "

" Why were these covens destroyed? "

" Because they had knowledge and power, " Eoife said simply. " They had books, spells, tools, charts, or maps that Amyranth wanted. Amyranth gathers knowledge at any price. As you know, they are willing to steal power from witches outside their coven to make themselves stronger. We call them old Woodbanes because they conform more closely to the traditional Woodbane tenets: knowledge is power, and power above all. "

Of course she knew I was Woodbane. Belwicket had been a coven of «new» Woodbane, those who had renounced dark magick and sworn to make only good an positive magick. Ciaran was one of the old Woodbanes. Yet he and Maeve had slept together and made me, a Woodbane who had one foot in darkness and one foot in light.

" These pictures are awful. But what do they have to do with me? " I asked.

" We've recently received information that Amyranth is planning on calling another dark wave, " Eoife said. She tucked the photographs back into her briefcase. " Here, in Widow's Vale. They plan to wipe out the Starlocket coven. "

My mouth dropped open. Whatever I had expected, it wasn't this. Starlocket had once been Selene Belltower's coven. When Selene had fled Widow's Vale, her most loyal Woodbane followers had disappeared with her. But not all of Starlocket had been Woodbane or dark Woodbanes. The members that had been from the other great clans–Leapvaughn, Brightendale, Vikroth, Rowanwand, Burnhide or Wyndenkell–and also those who were not blood witches had continued on under the leadership of my friend Alyce Fernbrake. Alyce owned Practical Magick, a store in the next town over that specialized in Wiccan necessities. Ever since I first discovered my powers, Alyce had been a kind of adviser, and after our tà th meà nma brach, in which we shared one another's knowledge and experiences, I felt a special closeness to her.

Now my birth father and his coven were planning to plunder Starlocket for its books, tools, spells, star charts–anything they could find. Not only that. I knew from bitter firsthand experience that Amyranth could actually steal people's magick, their power and their knowledge, in a dark ritual. Unfortunately, the person didn't usually live through it. That was what had almost happened to me in New York before Ciaran had helped Hunter stop the ritual.

" How do you know about this? " I asked faintly.

" We had an agent who infiltrated the San Francisco cell of Amyranth. It was the last message she sent us, " Eoife said. " Right before she died. "

I was startled. " Died? "

" She was killed, " said Eoife sadly. " Found drowned in the bay, with the Amyranth sigil burned into her skin. "

" Oh, Goddess. " My brain began piecing together ideas.

" But if she was killed because of passing on that message, then surely Amyranth knows the council is onto them. Surely they'll change their plans. " I said.

" We thought of that. But it's not necessarily true. After all, " Eoife went on, her voice turning bitter, " we've been singularly ineffectual in finding out anything about most cells of Amyranth–especially the New York one. And even having this bit of information doesn't really help us. Alyce and some of the other Starlocket members have been having disturbing visions. Some of their spells have gone terribly awry. They have bad dreams. It all feels like a noose closing around their necks. "

" But why can't the council help? Isn't it made up of the strongest witched alive? "

Eoife looked at me with anger. " Yes. But we're not gods or goddesses. Simply knowing about a dark wave doesn't help us stop it. Frankly, we have no idea to stop it. "

" So what can I do? " I asked carefully.

My guest took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. Her fingers trembled almost imperceptibly as she sipped tea that by now must be cold.

" We want you to help us stop the dark wave, " she said.

My world went white in an instant. Jagged images of what had almost happened to me in New York crashed into my mind, and my breath went shallow. With tunnel vision I stared at Eoife, sure that the horror and panic were written on my face.

" Eoife, " I breathed. " I'm seventeen years old. I'm not initiated. I don't see how I can help with anything …"

" We know about your situation. But you have a great deal of power. " She tried to keep defeat out of her voice but didn't succeed. " And you're our only hope. "

" Why? "

She looked at me. " You're Ciaran's daughter. His daughter by the woman he loved. And you're very, very powerful. He would be intensely attracted to that. You could get close to him. "

" And then what? " I was trying not to sound hysterical. Inside my thoughts were running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

" We need information, " Eoife said. " We have strong evidence that Amyranth is planning a strike on Starlocket during its Imbolic celebration. There's a possibility we could stop them if you could learn something–anything–of the spell they plan to use to call the dark wave. Knowing even a few of these words would help us fight it. If Ciaran were to make you his confidante, you might be able to get us this information. "

I looked at Eoife in disbelief. " And what if he tries to kill me? "

" He's your father, " she said. " He didn't let his coven kill you in New York. "

I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed. " Okay. Get close to Ciaran. Discover what I can of the dark‑ wave spell. God, this is so surreal. "

Eoife gave me a level glance. " There's more. "

" Why am I not surprised? " I muttered.

Eoife shifted in her chair. " If you planted a watch sigil on him, it would help us track his movements. We'd have a better chance of knowing where he was. "

" How am I supposed to plant a watch sigil on him? He's a thousand times stronger than me! " I was frightened now and running out of patience with this crazy conversation. What this woman was suggesting could easily get me killed.

" We don't believe he's a thousand times stronger than you, " Eoife said, but her gaze dropped from mine. " Anyway, we would teach you how to do it. We would cover you with deception spells, with protection, with every weapon we have. With luck, you could even attend an Amyranth circle. Any information you pick up there would be useful. The more we know about them, the more chance we have of being able to dismantle their coven, remover their power, scatter them so they could never again call on a dark wave to obliterate a clan, to pillage their knowledge, to destroy their homes. With your help, we can save Starlocket. Without you help, they are surely lost. "

" The witches in Amyrant would recognize me, " I pointed out.

" But now they know you're Ciaran's daughter. " Eoife said. " They would believe you'd want to be close to him. "

This was all just too incredible, too absurd. " You must have someone more qualified, " I said.

" We don't Morgan, " Eoife said. " The San Francisco cell of Amyranth is the only one we've been able to infiltrate–and that was unsuccessful. It's only because we're so desperate, so without options, that we even considered asking you to take this risk. Amyranth has been gaining power for the last thirty years, and we've made hardly any progress in fighting them. But know we have you, the daughter of one of the one of the main leaders. Ciaran is incredibly charismatic. Anyone would believe you would want to be closer to him. "

" What about you? " I asked. " I'm Ciaran's daughter after all. Do you believe I'd want to get closer to him? Do you believe I might actually turn to the darkness? "

The older witch gazed at me steadily. " It's true that great witches have fallen before this. But many have resisted, too, Morgan. "

But which will it be? I thought desperately. " Oh, God, " I said, standing up and lifting my hair off my neck. I walked around the living room, stretching, not really seeing anything. I realized it was chilly and knelt before the fireplace to make a small tepee of kindling. I looked around for matches, but I didn't see any. I thought, Fire, and a tiny spark of flame leapt into existence, catching the dry sticks of fatwood, chewing them eagerly. When the kindling was well on its way, I added two small logs, then stood up and brushed off my hands.

" I didn't believe them when they said you could kindle fire, " Eoife said. Once again her gaze fixed on me, measuring me, examining me.

I shrugged self‑ consciously. " I like fire. "

" One of my teachers studied with her teacher for more than three years to learn how to kindle fire, " said Eoife.

Startled, I glanced at her. " How can you even teach it? It's just there. "

" No, my dear, " she said, softening for the first time since she'd come in. " It isn't. Not usually. "

I sat down again and twisted my fingers together. Get close to Ciaran. The idea made my stomach clench. He was my blood father, and he was the epitome of evil, guilty of hundreds of horrible crimes: unaccountable devastation. He was the very image of everything bad that Woodbanes had ever been accused of. He had killed my mother and tried to kill me. Yet…Yet, before I had known who he was, I had felt a strange connection to him, a sort of bond or kinship. I could tell he was very powerful, and I wanted him to teach me what he knew. Then so many things had happened, and I was still sorting out the pieces. Now Eoife wanted me to pretend to have a relationship with him on order to give me the council information. Information that would lead to his being stripped of his powers, certainly. I'd watched Hunter perform the spells that wrested a witch's magick from him, and I still shuddered at the memory. I had heard that most witches who had their magick taken away never really recovered. They lived a kind of half life–more a pale grey existence than a real life. Eoife and the council wanted to do that to Ciaran, and they wanted me to help them.

" I won't lie to you, " Eoife said. " This will be very hard, perhaps impossible, and very dangerous. You'll be tempted by darkness, as we all are at times. How well you resist is up to you. You probably know what's likely to happen to you if you are found out, if you fail. " She looked down at her hands in her lap. " But if you succeed–you will have saved not only Starlocket, but all the covens and clans after them, the ones who will in the future be targeted for a dark wave. And… you would have more power. "

I looked at Eoife. " Magickal power? "

" Perhaps, though that isn't what I meant. I meant the power that comes from doing something profoundly good and selfless, the power that comes from putting good out into the world. Remember, what you send out is thrice returned. "

" Does Hunter know about this? What you're asking? "

" Yes, he's against it. But the decisions is yours. "

" What makes you so sure Ciaran will trust me? " I asked.

" We're not, " Eoife admitted. " But you're our only hope. "

I paced the room. I noticed it was dark outside–hours had passed since Eoife had come. My parents might be boarding their cruise ship by now.

What if I failed? Not only would Alyce and the rest of Starlocket die, but I would be forever corrupted. If I wasn't strong enough to resist Ciaran, I would become as evil as he was. On the other hand, where was I now? I had lost Hunter, I was afraid to make magick with my coven…What did I have left to lose? How strong was I? Think, think.

Eoife waited patiently, just as her teacher who was trying to kindle fire must have waited patiently for three years, trying to learn it. I wasn't patient. I didn't have their inner calm that most witches had, the inner compass that allowed them to stay on track, stay focused yet completely connected with the world. I didn't know if I would ever have it.

Could I do it?

Oh, Goddess, help me.

I don't know how much time passed. Finally I turned to look at Eoife, so small and still, like a garden statue.

" I'll do it, " I said.