William Somerset Maugham 13 страница

very lonely. Her life had always been so full and so exciting that she

had never had the time to busy herself much with Roger. She got in

a state, of course, when he had whooping-cough or measles, but he

was for the most part in robust health, and then he occupied a ple-

asant place in the background of her consciousness. But she had al-

ways felt that he was there to be attended to when she was inclined

and she had often thought it would be nice when he was old enough

really to share her interests. It came to her as a shock now to realize

that, without ever having really possessed him, she had lost him.

Her lips tightened when she thought of the girl who had taken him

from her.

" An understudy. My foot. "

Her pain absorbed her so that she could not feel the grief she

might have felt from her discovery of Tom's perfidy. She had always

known in her bones that he was unfaithful to her. At his age, with his

wanton temperament, with herself tied down by her performances

at the theatre, by all manner of engagements which her position for-

ced upon her, it was plain that he had ample opportunity to gratify

his inclinations. She had shut her eyes. All she asked was that she

should not know. This was the first time that an actual fact had been

thrust upon her notice.

" I must just put up with it, " she sighed. Thoughts wandered thro-

ugh her mind. " It's like lying and not knowing you're lying, that's

what's fatal; I suppose it's better to be a fool and know it than a fool

and not know it. "

TOM went to Eastbourne with his family for Christmas. Julia had

two performances on Boxing Day, so the Gosselyns stayed in town;

they went to a large party at the Savoy that Dolly de Vries gave to

see the New Year in; and a few days later Roger set off for Vienna.

While he was in London Julia saw little of Tom. She did not ask Roger

what they did when they tore about the town together, she did not

want to know, she steeled herself not to think and distracted her

mind by going to as many parties as she could. And there was al-

ways her acting; when once she got into the theatre her anguish,

her humiliation, her jealousy were allayed. It gave her a sense of tri-

umphant power to find, as it were in her pot of grease paint, another

personality that could be touched by no human griefs. With that re-

fuge always at hand she could support anything.

On the day that Roger left, Tom rang her up from his office.

" Are you doing anything tonight? What about going out on the

binge? "

" No, I'm busy. "

It was not true, but the words slipped out of her mouth, indepen-

dent of her will.

" Oh, are you? Well, what about tomorrow? "

If he had expressed disappointment, if he had asked her to cut

the date he supposed she had, she might have had strength to bre-

ak with him then and there. His casualness defeated her.

" Tomorrow's all right. "

" O. K. I'll fetch you at the theatre after the show. Bye-bye. "

Julia was ready and waiting when he was shown into her dressing-

room. She was strangely nervous. His face lit up when he saw her,

and when Evie went out of the room for a moment he caught her in

his arms and warmly kissed her on the lips.

" I feel all the better for that, " he laughed.

You would never have thought to look at him, so young, fresh and

ingenuous, in such high spirits, that he was capable of giving her so

much pain. You would never have thought that he was so deceitful.

It was quite plain that he had not noticed that for more than a fort-

night he had hardly seen her.

(" Oh, God, if I could only tell him to go to hell. " )

But she looked at him with a gay smile in her lovely eyes.

" Where are we going? "

" I've got a table at Quag's. They've got a new turn there, an Ame-

rican conjurer, who's grand. "

She talked with vivacity all through supper. She told him about

the various parties she had been to, and the theatrical functions she

had not been able to get out of, so that it seemed only on account of

her engagements that they had not met. It disconcerted her to per-

ceive that he took it as perfectly natural. He was glad to see her,

that was plain, he was interested in what she had been doing and in

the people she had seen, but it was plain also that he had not mis-

sed her. To see what he would say she told him that she had had an

offer to take the play in which she was acting to New York. She told

him the terms that had been suggested.

" They're marvellous, " he said, his eyes glittering. " What a snip.

You can't lose and you may make a packet. "

" The only thing is, I don't much care for leaving London. "

" Why on earth not? I should have thought you'd jump at it. The

play's had a good long run, for all you know it'll be pretty well thro-

ugh by Easter, and if you want to make a stab at America you co-

uldn't have a better vehicle. "

" I don't see why it shouldn't run through the summer. Besides, I

don't like strangers very much. I'm fond of my friends. "

" I think that's silly. Your friends'll get along without you all right.

And you'll have a grand time in New York. "

Her gay laugh was very convincing.

" One would think you were terribly anxious to get rid of me. "

" Of course I should miss you like hell. But it would only be for a

few months. If I had a chance like that I'd jump at it. "

But when they had finished supper and the commissionaire had

called up a taxi for them he gave the address of the flat as if it were

an understood thing that they should go back to it. In the taxi he put

his arm round her waist and kissed her, and later, when she lay in

his arms, in the little single bed, she felt that all the pain she had

suffered during that last fortnight was not too great a price to pay

for the happy peace that filled her heart.

Julia continued to go to the smart supper places and to night

clubs with Tom. If people wanted to think he was her lover, let them;

she was past caring. But it happened more than once that he was

engaged when she wanted him to go somewhere with her. It had

spread around among Julia's grander friends that Tom was very cle-

ver at helping one with one's income-tax returns. The Dennorants

had asked him down to the country for a week-end, and here he had

met a number of persons who were glad to take advantage of his

technical knowledge. He began to get invitations from people whom

Julia did not know. Acquaintances would mention him to her.

" You know Tom Fennell, don't you? He's very clever, isn't he? I

hear he's saved the Gillians hundreds of pounds on their income-

tax. "

Julia was none too pleased. It was through her that he had got as-

ked to parties that he wanted to go to. It began to look as if in this

respect he could do without her. He was pleasant and unassuming,

very well-dressed now, and with a fresh, clean look that was enga-

ging; he was able to save people money; Julia knew the world which

he was so anxious to get into well enough to realize that he would

soon establish himself in it. She had no very high opinion of the mo-

rals of the women he would meet there and she could name more

than one person of title who would be glad to snap him up. Julia's

comfort was that they were all as mean as cat's meat. Dolly had sa-

id he was only earning four hundred a year; he certainly couldn't live

in those circles on that.

Julia had with decision turned down the American offer before

ever she mentioned it to Tom; their play was playing to very good

business. But one of those inexplicable slumps that occasionally af-

fect the theatre now swept over London and the takings suddenly

dropped. It looked as though they would not be able to carry on long

after Easter. They had a new play on which they set great hopes. It

was called Nowadays, and the intention had been to produce it early

in the autumn. It had a great part for Julia and the advantage of one

that well suited Michael. It was the sort of play that might easily run

a year. Michael did not much like the idea of producing it in May,

with the summer coming on, but there seemed no help for it and he

began looking about for a cast.

One afternoon, during the interval at a matinee, Evie brought a

note in to Julia. She was surprised to see Roger's handwriting.

DEAR MOTHER,

This is to introduce to you Miss Joan Denver who I talked to you

about. She's awfully keen on getting in the Siddons Theatre and wo-

uld be quite satisfied with an understudy however small.

Your affectionate son,

ROGER

Julia smiled at the formal way in which he wrote; she was tickled

because he was so grown up as to try to get jobs for his girl friends.

Then she suddenly remembered who Joan Denver was. Joan and Jill.

She was the girl who had seduced poor Roger. Her face went grim.

But she was curious to see her.

" Is George there? " George was the doorkeeper. Evie nodded and

opened the door.

" George. "

He came in.

" Is the lady who brought this letter here now? "

" Yes, miss. "

" Tell her I'll see her after the play. "

She wore in the last act an evening dress with a train; it was a

very grand dress and showed her beautiful figure to advantage. She

wore diamonds in her dark hair and diamond bracelets on her arms.

She looked, as indeed the part required, majestic. She received Joan

Denver the moment she had taken her last call. Julia could in the

twinkling of an eye leap from her part into private life, but now wit-

hout an effort she continued to play the imperious, aloof, stately and

well-bred woman of the play.

" I've kept you waiting so long I thought I wouldn't keep you till I'd

got changed. " ..

Her cordial smile was the smile of a queen; her graciousness kept

you at a respectful distance. In a glance she had taken in the young

girl who entered her dressing-room. She was young, with a pretty lit-

tle face and a snub nose, a good deal made-up and not very well

made-up.

" Her legs are too short, " thought Julia. " Very second-rate. "

She had evidently put on her best clothes and the same glance

had told Julia all about them.

(" Shaftesbury Avenue. Off the nail. " )

The poor thing was at the moment frightfully nervous. Julia made

her sit down and offered her a cigarette.

" There are matches by your side. "

She saw her hands tremble when she tried to strike one. It broke

and she rubbed a second three times against the box before she co-

uld get it to light.

(" If Roger could only see her now! Cheap rouge, cheap lipstick,

and scared out of her wits. Gay little thing, he thought she was. " )

" Have you been on the stage long, Miss - I'm so sorry I've forgot-

ten your name. "

" Joan Denver. " Her throat was dry and she could hardly speak.

Her cigarette went out and she held it helplessly. She answered

Julia's question. " Two years. "

" How old are you? "

" Nineteen. "

(" That's a lie. You're twenty-two if you're a day. " ) " You know my

son, don't you? "

" Yes. "

" He's just left Eton. He's gone to Vienna to learn German. Of cour-

se he's very young, but his father and I thought it would be good for

him to spend a few months abroad before going up to Cambridge.

And what parts have you played? Your cigarette's gone out. Won't

you have another? "

" Oh, it's all right, thanks. I've been playing on tour, but I'm fright-

fully anxious to be in town. " Despair gave her courage and she utte-

red the speech she had evidently prepared. " I've got the most tre-

mendous admiration for you, Miss Lambert. I always say you're the

greatest actress on the stage. I've learnt more from you than I did

all the years I was at the R. A. D. A. * My greatest ambition is to be in

your theatre, Miss Lambert, and if you could see your way to giving

me a little something, I know it would be the most wonderful chance

a girl could have. "

" Will you take off your hat? "

Joan Denver took the cheap little hat off her head and with a qu-

ick gesture shook out her close-cropped curls.

" What pretty hair you have, " said Julia.

Still with that slightly imperious, but infinitely cordial smile, the

smile that a queen in royal procession bestows on her subjects, Julia

gazed at her. She did not speak. She remembered Jane Taitbout's

maxim: Don't pause unless it's necessary, but then pause as long as

you can. She could almost hear the girl's heart beating and she felt

her shrinking in her ready-made clothes, shrinking in her skin.

" What made you think of asking my son to give you a letter to

me? "

Joan grew red under her make-up and she swallowed before she

answered.

" I met him at a friend's house and I told him how much I admired

you and he said he thought perhaps you'd have something for me in

your next play. "

" I'm just turning over the parts in my mind. "

" I wasn't thinking of a part. If I could have an understudy - I mean,

that would give me a chance of attending rehearsals and studying

your technique. That's an education in itself. Everyone agrees about

that. "

(" Silly little fool, trying to flatter me. As if I didn't know that. And

why the hell should I educate her? " ) " It's very sweet of you to put it

like that. I'm only a very ordinary person really. The public is so

kind, so very kind. You're a pretty little thing. And young. Youth is so

beautiful. Our policy has always been to give the younger people a

chance. After all we can't go on for ever, and we look upon it as a

duty we owe the public to train up actors and actresses to take our

place when the time comes. "

Julia said these words so simply, in her beautifully modulated vo-

ice, that Joan Denver's heart was warmed. She'd got round the old

girl and the understudy was as good as hers. Tom Fennell had said

that if she played her cards well with Roger it might easily lead to

something.

" Oh, that won't be a for a long while yet, Miss Lambert, " she said,

her eyes, her pretty dark eyes glowing.

(" You're right there, my girl, dead right. I bet I could play you off

the stage when I was seventy. " )

" I must think it over. I hardly know yet what understudies we shall

want in our next play. "

" I hear there's some talk of Avice Crichton for the girl's part. I tho-

ught perhaps I could understudy her. "

Avice Crichton. No flicker of the eyes showed that the name me-

ant anything to Julia.

" My husband has mentioned her, but nothing is settled yet. I don't

know her at all. Is she clever? "

" I think so. I was at the Academy with her. "

" And pretty as a picture, they tell me. " Rising to her feet to show

that the audience was at an end, Julia put off her royalty. She chan-

ged her tone and became on a sudden the jolly, good-natured act-

ress who would do a good turn to anyone if she could. " Well, dear,

leave me your name and address and if there's anything doing I'll let

you know. "

" You won't forget me, Miss Lambert? "

" No, dear, I promise you I won't. It's been so nice to see you. You

have a very sweet personality. You'll find your way out, won't you?

Good-bye. "

" A fat chance she's got of ever setting foot in this theatre, " said

Julia to herself when she was gone. " Dirty little bitch to seduce my

son. Poor lamb. It's a shame, that's what it is; women like that

oughtn't to be allowed. "

She looked at herself in the glass as she slipped out of her beauti-

ful gown. Her eyes were hard and her lips had a sardonic curl. She

addressed her reflection.

" And I may tell you this, old girl: there's one person who isn't go-

ing to play in Nowadays and that's Miss Avice Crichton. "

BUT a week or so later Michael mentioned her.

" I say, have you ever heard of a girl called Avice Crichton? "

" Never. "

" I'm told she's rather good. A lady and all that sort of thing. Her

father's in the army. I was wondering if she'd do for Honor. "

" How did you hear about her? "

" Through Tom. He knows her, he says she's clever. She's playing

in a Sunday night show. Next Sunday, in point of fact. He says he

thinks it might be worth while to go and have a look-see. "

" Well, why don't you? "

" I was going down to Sandwich to play golf. Would it bore you aw-

fully to go? I expect the play's rotten, but you'd be able to tell if it

was worth while letting her read the part. Tom'll go with you. "

Julia's heart was beating nineteen to the dozen.

" Of course I'll go. "

She phoned to Tom and asked him to come round and have a

snack before they went to the theatre. He arrived before she was re-

ady.

" Am I late or were you early? " she said, when she came into the

drawing-room.

She saw that he had been waiting impatiently. He was nervous

and eager.

" They're going to ring up sharp at eight, " he said. " I hate getting

to a play after it's begun. "

His agitation told her all she wanted to know. She lingered a little

over the cocktails.

" What is the name of this actress we're going to see tonight? " she

asked.

" Avice Crichton. I'm awfully anxious to know what you think about

her. I think she's a find. She knows you're coming tonight. She's

frightfully nervous, but I told her she needn't be. You know what the-

se Sunday night plays are; scratch rehearsals and all that; I said

you'd quite understand and you'd make allowances. "

All through dinner he kept looking at his watch. Julia acted the

woman of the world. She talked of one thing and another and noti-

ced that he listened with distraction. As soon as he could he brought

the conversation back to Avice Crichton.

" Of course I haven't said anything to her about it, but I believe

she'd be all right for Honor. " He had read Nowadays, as he read, be-

fore they were produced, all Julia's plays. " She looks the part all

right, I'm sure of that. She's had a struggle and of course it would be

a wonderful chance for her. She admires you tremendously and

she's terribly anxious to get into a play with you. "

" That's understandable. It means the chance of a year's run and a

lot of managers seeing her. "

" She's the right colour, she's very fair; she'd be a good contrast to

you. "

" What with platinum and peroxide there's no lack of blondes on

the stage. "

" But hers is natural. "

" Is it? I had a long letter from Roger this morning. He seems to be

having quite a good time in Vienna. "

Tom's interest subsided. He looked at his watch. When the coffee

came Julia said it was undrinkable. She said she must have some

more made.

" Oh, Julia, it isn't worth while. We shall be awfully late, "

" I don't suppose it matters if we miss the first few minutes. "

His voice was anguished.

" I promised we wouldn't be late. She's got a very good scene al-

most at the beginning. "

" I'm sorry, but I can't go without my coffee. "

While they waited for it she maintained a bright flow of conversa-

tion. He scarcely answered. He looked anxiously at the door. And

when the coffee came she drank it with maddening deliberation. By

the time they got in the car he was in a state of cold fury and he sta-

red silently in front of him with a sulky pout on his mouth. Julia was

not dissatisfied with herself. They reached the theatre two minutes

before the curtain rose and as Julia appeared there was a burst of

clapping from the audience. Julia, apologizing to the people she dis-

turbed, threaded her way to her seat in the middle of the stalls. Her

faint smile acknowledged the applause that greeted her beautifully-

timed entrance, but her downcast eyes modestly disclaimed that it

could have any connexion with her.

The curtain went up and after a short scene two girls came in,

one very pretty and young, the other much older and plain. In a mi-

nute Julia turned to Tom and whispered:

" Which is Avice Crichton, the young one or the old one? "

" The young one. "

" Oh, of course, you said she was fair, didn't you? "

She gave his face a glance. He had lost his sulky look; a happy

smile played on his lips. Julia turned her attention to the stage. Avi-

ce Crichton was very pretty, no one could deny that, with lovely gol-

den hair, fine blue eyes and a little straight nose; but it was a type

that Julia did not care for.

" Insipid, " she said to herself. " Chorus-girly. "

She watched her performance for a few minutes. She watched in-

tently, then she leant back in her stall with a little sigh.

" She can't act for toffee, " * she decided.

When the curtain fell Tom turned to her eagerly. He had comple-

tely got over his bad temper.

" What do you think of her? "

" She's as pretty as a picture. "

" I know that. But her acting. Don't you think she's good? "

" Yes, clever. "

" I wish you'd come round and tell her that yourself. It would buck

her up tremendously. "

" I? "

He did not realize what he was asking her to do. It was unheard-of

that she, Julia Lambert, should go behind and congratulate a small-

part actress.

" I promised I'd take you round after the second act. Be a sport,

Julia. It'll please her so much. "

(" The fool. The blasted fool. All right, I'll go through with it. " ) " Of

course if you think it'll mean anything to her, I'll come with pleasu-

re. "

After the second act they went through the iron door and Tom led

her to Avice Crichton's dressing-room. She was sharing it with the

plain girl with whom she had made her first entrance. Tom effected

the introductions. She held out a limp hand in a slightly affected

manner.

" I'm so glad to meet you, Miss Lambert. Excuse this dressing-ro-

om, won't you? But it was no good trying to make it look nice just for

one night. "

She was not in the least nervous. Indeed, she seemed self-assu-

red.

(" Hard as nails. And with an eye to the main chance. Doing the

colonel's daughter on me. " )

" It's awfully nice of you to come round I'm afraid it's not much of

a play, but when one's starting like I am one has to put up with what

one can get. I was rather doubtful about it when they sent it me to

read, but I took a fancy to the part. "

" You play it charmingly, " said Julia.

" It's awfully nice of you to say so. I wish we could have had a few

more rehearsals. I particularly wanted to show you what I could do. "

" Well, you know, I've been connected with the profession a good

many years. I always think, if one has talent one can't help showing

it. Don't you? "

" I know what you mean. Of course I want a lot more experience, I

know that, but it's only a chance I want really. I know I can act. If I

could only get a part that I could really get my teeth into. "

She waited a little in order to let Julia say that she had in her new

play just the part that would suit her, but Julia continued to look at

her smilingly. Julia was grimly amused to find herself treated like a

curate's wife to whom the squire's lady was being very kind.

" Have you been on the stage long? " she said at last. " It seems

funny I should never have heard of you. "

" Well, I was in revue for a while, but I felt I was just wasting my ti-

me. I was out on tour all last season. I don't want to leave London

again if I can help it. "

" The theatrical profession's terribly overcrowded, " said Julia.