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~ Memories and Mourners ~
by Rh. Black

November 2009

This is an original story. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional.

Grammar and Language Warnings: Parts of dialogue are in Russian and thus there are Cyrillic characters in this story. Also, some parts of dialogue are in non-standard English grammar.

Content warning: This is not a feel good story. There are scenes of violence and abuse, gang-related activities, racism, bad language, drugs, substance abuse and incarceration.

My sincerest thanks to Ellix for helping with the Russian. A great thank you to Chris for betareading and commenting. As usual all mistakes and miscomprehensions are my own.

Description: Barbie, Ace and Snow: a drug-dealer, a cop and a Russian mobster. Three women that should never have met and have nothing in common. Nothing but Canon: ruthless gang-leader, broken ex-con, brutal killer, kind lover and loyal friend. As Canon lies dying, the strands of her life collide in a cold hospital waiting room.

       “Was it business? ” ~Barbie





       The thud of heavy boots on the laminated floor made every eye turn to the group coming down the corridor. The four men and the single woman standing around the seated figure in their midst immediately found the weapons under their jackets. The party coming down the corridor reacted instantly, hands disappearing under oversized jumpers and t-shirts.





       “это хорошо. ”





       The low order from the woman seated on the hospital’s sickly green chair made the nervous guards stand down immediately. Still their eyes did not leave the group coming down the corridor, their hands hovering ready to dive under expensive jackets for the guns hidden underneath.





       The oncoming group stopped a good ten feet away from the foremost guard. The others tensed immediately, the only woman going so far as to finger the handle of the gun under her jacket. The tension was palpable in the suffocating air of the hospital, smelling of disease and disinfectant.





       This time the order was louder. “I said it’s alright! ”





       Jaws clenched and eyes narrowed among the guards but none of them dared gainsay the seated woman’s orders. With slow movements, they fanned out, leaving a narrow corridor leading to the woman they guarded.





       Shuffling of feet betrayed a similar manoeuvre from the group opposite them. The guards did not allow themselves to be distracted by the wild beauty of the woman that stepped forward, their eyes constantly surveying the whole of the tense group eyeing them in return.





       The woman’s oversized t-shirt was black as were the jeans underneath. The black and red bandana on her neck was the only flash of colour on her but for the white of her eyes. Her steps were slow, deliberate as she moved toward the group of towering guards.





       Her empty hands deliberately placed in front of her, in a gesture of reassurance. She entered the narrow corridor of bodies without even a flinch or second of hesitation. Her slow steps quickly brought her to stand in front of the woman sitting silently beyond the guards.





       The silence stretched and with it the tension rose as both opposing groups waited for the signal that would mean either death or truce.





       The low voice was cold. “это хорошо. они друзья. ”





       The twin reactions were immediate as one group relaxed slightly and the other tensed even further.





       The low clearing of the throat was loud in the ensuing terse silence. “I told them you are friends. друзья”





       The standing woman nodded once when red-rimmed blue eyes rose to look at her.





       “S alright, ” she said loudly enough for her voice to carry to her own people. The women that had come in with her relaxed immediately, their hands appearing once again to be greeted by slow nods from the group of Russians.





       With a shrug and a soft sigh, the standing woman sat down too. Silence stretched for a few moments. “Friends, eh? How you say it? Droo-zi-ah? ”





       “Yeah... ”





       “How you doing, Snow? ” the black woman asked after a slow nod.





       “I’m waiting, Barbie. I’m waiting for these... these physicians to come out and tell me what they got to tell me, ” Snow grated through clenched teeth.





       Barbie closed her eyes willing the tears down. Her voice was hoarse. “There’s no hope then? ”





       Snow shook her head mutely.





       A full minute passed before Barbie spoke again. “She got the guy though... She got the guy. ”





       Snow’s answer was slow. “Yeah... She did. ”





       Long moments passed before Barbie asked in a low voice. “Was it business? ”





       Snow glanced at the woman sitting beside her. Her voice held tears in its depths.





       “No. No. She just went out for some milk. He was... ублюдок изнасилование та девочка... He was raping her. That girl. She’s восточная девушка... oriental something. She’s here, too. Canon... ”





       Snow covered her eyes with her hands to hide the tears that threatened to spill. Her voice was so low that Barbie had to lean in to hear.





       “Canon ran in to stop him. He had a gun. He shot her. Three times. She put a knife in his gut. ублюдок - здесь также. They’re saving his fucking life. They’re saving the bastard’s life. ”





       Barbie leaned in further. Her whisper was too low to be overheard by anybody. “We’ll get him. We’ll get him, Snow. ”





       Snow’s eyes burned as she turned to look fully upon Barbie. Her voice was cold. “No! I will. I will! ”





       Barbie leaned back her eyes searching Snow’s face. Her own face hardened imperceptibly. It was too easy sometimes to forget who Snow was. Barbie nodded slowly. “That your right. ”





       Snow nodded back curtly before turning away.





       The minutes passed slowly with only the distant sounds of the ER intruding. Barbie cleared her throat. “Ah... Snow? Ah... There’s someone... Canon would have wanted... ”





       “I called her. She was in DC. She should be arriving quickly, ” Snow cut in harshly.





       Barbie nodded slowly. Her sigh was heavy as she leaned back against the hard hospital chair. Her eyes travelled listlessly from Snow to the group of Russians guarding her to her own girls standing in a tight group just beyond.





       ***********



       “Ya got your sights on big game” ~Raw





       Slowly her gaze went to the doors to the ER, barely visible through the bodies standing tensely. Barbie closed her eyes, willing the tears that rose unbidden to subside. Her discipline was too great to allow tears to fall, to show such weakness.





       She had to keep strong. For her image. And for the Kats. But most of all for the woman probably already dead behind the ER’s swinging doors. Barbie bit her tongue to keep the bitter laugh from her lips.





       She was who she was. No one would dare dispute her. People feared and respected her. But Barbie was no fool, nor was she one of those people who forgot. The past shaped the present.





       She was who she was. She was who Canon had made.





       Like a scene from some old movie, faint and grainy, the memory rose, as Barbie clenched her jaw to keep the sobs in.











       Raw’s voice was like honey laced with poison. “Listen, girl, you fucked up tonight. That all there is. ”





       “But... ” Barbie barely managed a word when Raw cut her off.





       “Fucking listen! You run your mouth like that, girl, and you gonna get fucked up too. ”





       “Yes, ma’am, ” Barbie replied stiffly.





       Raw growled deep in her chest. “Don’t be doing that ‘yes ma’am’ shit to me, girl. Fuck it! You ain’t worth the spit of me talking. ”





       The anger in Raw’s words made Barbie stiffen. She had gone too far. Raw had no patience with fools. Everyone knew that. “No, Raw, please. I’ll shut up. Word! ”





       A moment passed and then another as Raw sized up the girl in front of her. “You what girl? Fourteen? ”





       “Eighteen! I’m eighteen, ” Barbie replied quickly.





       “Girl... ” Raw said warningly.





       Barbie swallowed haltingly. “Sorry... six... ah... fifteen. ”





       “Hm... ” Raw looked at her speculatively.





       “For real, Raw. Swear! ” Barbie protested immediately.





       Raw barked a laugh. She shook her head once before taking a deep breath. Her voice mellowed as she looked at Barbie. “Alright. Alright. I ain’t saying this again. Hear me, girl? ”





       Barbie was nodding even before Raw’s last word had left her mouth. “Yeah... most def... ”





       Raw waited a moment, making certain that she had the girl’s attention. Her voice was conversational but her eyes betrayed the seriousness of her words. “Now... Canon’s muscle. There two type of muscle. Dogs and rocks. Dogs yap. Rocks ain’t. Feel me? ”





       “Yeah... ” Barbie replied, even though her eyes betrayed her puzzlement.





       Raw sighed. Her eyes moved away from her girl standing contritely in front of her, roaming lazily along the quiet street. Finally she spoke. “Hm... Now you came up this ‘ere day to yap, girl. ”





       Raw put her hand up, stopping the denial that was on Barbie’s lips. “Nah... don’t be saying nothing. You yap like a little dyke doggie. Fuck! Now, girl, you yap on the corner, fuck it. Who give a shit? But here? You show some real disrespect this night, Barbie doll. ”





       Raw paused, her eyes returning to Barbie. Slowly she searched the girl’s face. The shame there told her she was being heard.





       Slowly Raw spoke on. “That girl you were all big about, that girl one o’ yours. Feel me? You stick it to her, so the fuck what. But you fuck her like that to anyone who listens. That disrespect, girl. Plain an’ simple. ”





       “But... ” Barbie managed to utter only the single word before a burning glare from Raw silenced her.





       Anger was once more clear in Raw’s voice. “Shut up, girl! Ya got your sights on big game, big fucking game! ”





       Barbie blushed, her eyes falling to the concrete between her feet.





       Raw grunted once before continuing. “That kinda game don’t be falling for yer yapping. ”





       Barbie looked up, the hurt clear in her eyes. Raw’s stern countenance brought a choking tightness to her throat. Tears sprung unbidden in her eyes but she blinked them back valiantly.





       Raw’s voice was soft, even as her words seemed made of steel. “Ya don’t get respect, girl. You fucking earn respect. You yap around. You fuck your own. You ain’t gonna get no respect ‘ere. Feel me? ”





       “Yeah, Raw. Yeah... ” Barbie looked down once more to hide her tears.





       Raw grunted before punching Barbie lightly on the shoulder. “Well, I said ma piece. See ya when I see ya, Barbs. ”





       The sound of heavy steps moving away from her made Barbie looked up. “Yo, Raw! ” She called out panicky.





       Raw turned back slowly. “What? ” she asked testily.





       Barbie’s voice was small, for once devoid of her usual cockiness. “I fucked up. How do I be going making it right? ”





       Raw sighed. She looked at the girl. Maybe there was some potential there after all. “Work your corner, girl. Work it right. And when Canon come round again... ”





       “Yeah? ” Desperate hope was clear in Barbie’s voice.





       “We’ll see, Barbie-doll. We’ll see... ” Raw replied as she turned once more to leave.



       **************



       “This be real for me” ~Canon





       Snow looked at Barbie before her eyes returned listlessly to the ER door. She could feel Barbie’s agitation, her worry.





       Snow could understand. She was feeling much the same. It was that tiny flame of hope that could not let her rest, could not let her simply mourn. If the doctors managed a miracle...





       Snow did not believe in miracles. She had never seen one. And belief in something unseen was not something that Snow had in herself.





       But still that tiny flame of hope flared deep in her chest. It was not a grand hope, nothing extraordinary, although most people would not believe it.





       Snow hoped to come back from another day and night in the streets to a warm home. And her lover’s never-quite-tasting-right Bolognese sauce. Not a grand hope, nothing grand about it at all.











       “Hey... That smells good, ” Snow said with a smile as she entered the spacious kitchen.

       Canon smiled back as she glanced at Snow before returning to stirring the sauce on the stove.





       Snow went to fridge and took out the vodka and two cold glasses. “Want one? ” she asked as she poured a shot.





       “Sure, ” was Canon’s answer as she carefully put the lid on the saucepan.





       “Your head ok? ” Snow asked, glancing quickly at Canon, the shot-glass cradled in her hand.





       “It a good day today, ” Canon answered, a sad smile on her lips.





       Snow drank up her shot quickly before pouring another one for herself and one for Canon. “Here, ” she said with a tired sigh as she handed one glass to Canon.





       “Rough night? ” Canon asked quietly before sipping from her glass.





       Snow nodded wordlessly before drinking the second shot with a gulp.





       “Whassup? ” Canon asked as she put the glass down and turned back to the stone.





       Snow sighed once more and poured another shot. Canon looked at her once but did not press. Snow was grateful for it. That was something she had learnt early on about Canon. Canon never pressed, not about anything that had to do with the game.





       Snow watched, drinking her vodka slowly, as Canon drained the pasta carefully and took the sauce off the stone. It was not until Canon had taken two plates down from the cupboard that Snow sighed once again and spoke in a low voice. “She killed herself. ”





       Canon stilled for a moment before turning slowly. “Who? ”





       Snow shook her head. “One of the girls. The... ah... the whores. ”





       “Killed ‘erself? ” Canon asked, her eyes narrowing in question.





       Snow nodded affirmatively before knocking the remainder of her vodka back. Her voice was toneless. “It’s a regular thing. Or so they tell me. ”





       Canon cocked her head to the side. “Regular? Like common? ”





       Snow nodded again. “Yeah. It has been... ah... the third one since the beginning of the year. ”





       Canon whistled through her teeth. “Three earners dead in what? Four month? That bad, man. That real bad. ”





       Snow smiled bitterly. “It’s not a problem. There are many girls... back home. Just a few more to get in. ”





       “Nah, girl. That ain’t the way. Them imports. They be costing ya. That ain’t good, ” Canon said with a shake of her head.





       “Yeah? Well what do you want me to do? ” Snow asked testily. The words had barely left her mouth when she bit her lips. It was not Canon’s fault and the last thing Snow wanted was to get into a fight over business.





       Snow’s birth caught as she saw the flash of anger in Canon’s eyes. And as it had happened more than once, she watched the flash fade as Canon closed her eyes and took a breath. When she opened them again, the green depths were calm once more.





       Canon’s voice was low. “I used to run girls. Back in the day, ya know? ”





       Snow nodded silently waiting for Canon to continue. It was not common that Canon spoke about her years in the game and Snow would not chance her clamming up again over an ill-received comment.





       Canon smiled and shook her head, more to herself than to Snow. “Part o’ the game. Dope and pussy. Money makers. ”





       Snow waited patiently for Canon to go on. Canon shook her head once again. “Old shit. Let’s get some grub into ya, huh? ”





       Snow bit her lip. She did not want to waste this opportunity. Getting Canon to open up was not easy and she wanted that. She wanted to know everything about Canon.





       Snow’s hand gripped Canon’s before she turned back to the plates. “Talk to me. Please, ” Snow said quietly.





       Canon looked at Snow for long moments before sighing once. A quick gesture asked for more vodka, which Snow expertly provided.





       Canon leaned on the counter, the vodka warming in her hand. “Twas back in the day. Raw ya know... she got a thing for faggots. There was this boy, real beautiful. His pimp fuck ‘im up though. Regular like. ”





       Canon paused and sipped from the glass as Snow waited. She had never heard of the Kats being involved with that part of the game.





       “Raw... she got tired of it all. Gave me the nod, ya know, ” Canon continued, looking at Snow questioningly.





       Snow nodded immediately. She understood.





       “That pimp, he ain’t nothing. Twas a bitch after though. Him gone ‘n I got a stable. What the fuck do I do with a fucking stable? ” Canon stopped laughing quietly to herself.





       Canon looked at Snow, smiling full of remembered mirth. “Raw... she tole me go on. Ain’t none of ma business. What the fuck do I do, ya know? ”





       Snow smiled back and nodded. She could understand. Canon was muscle, she had always been. Pimping needed another kind of person. She knew that well. After all she found herself in a very similar circumstance.





       Canon sighed, a smile still playing on her lips. “Walked ‘em boys ‘n a dozen girls. Ever see colours on fishnet? Even the popo rolling was laughing their lily white asses off. Almost a year I walked ‘em. Till I found Snot. Snot’s good. Still walk with ‘em. Different boys, different bitches, same old Snot though. ”





       Snow laughed quietly. She could just imagine it. A young Canon decking out whores and go-go boys in gang colours.





       Her mirth left quickly as her mind flashed the image of a girl, her wrists slashed almost to the bone, cockroaches walking unmindful over her dead body.





       “I don’t have a Snot, Canon, ” Snow said heavily.





       Canon looked at Snow seriously for a moment before taking the two steps that brought her in front of Snow. Her voice was low. “You taking care o’ ‘em? ”





       Snow shook her head. “Sort of. It was Grigory’s business, ” she said heavily, her accent showing through immediately at mentioning her cousin.





       Canon grunted at her to continue and Snow could see the coldness in her eyes at the mention of Grigory.





       “Grigory, huh? ” Canon asked slowly.





       “Yeah... ” Snow nodded, her eyes leaving Canon to land on the floor.





       Canon sighed. Snorting she took a cigarette pack out of her pocket, lighting up quickly. “He fuck up? ” she said finally.





       Snow shook her head, still refusing to look at Canon. “I don’t know. I don’t know, ” she said slowly.





       Canon puffed on the cigarette, her irritation clear. “It be five years, Snow. Ya just getting this shit now? ”





       Snow passed a weary hand through her hair. “Nah... It’s more... complicated. ”





       “Huh? ” Canon looked at Snow questioningly as she was blew smoke toward the ceiling.





       Snow sighed. She spoke slowly, carefully, trying to get the words right. “Back when I was a kid, still new at this, my uncle, he... well, he didn’t want me to work that side of the business... ”





       “What? Working the girls make ya a dyke? ” Canon’s disbelief was clear in the tone of her voice.





       Snow shook her head, glancing at Canon dejectedly. “I don’t know. He is old fashioned and... ”





       Canon took a deep puff of her cigarette. Her words slowed. “What? He got a problem? ”





       “Well... ” Snow shrugged, her lips pursed into a frown.





       Canon shook her head as she put out the half-smoked cigarette. “What you telling me, Snow? Your boys gonna holler at ‘im. Come ‘ere whoop my ass? ”





       Snow was quick to deny that accusation. “No! Canon, no. He knows. It’s fine. He doesn’t like it but it’s fine. It’s just that... I didn’t want to get involved. I keep... how do you say it? Discreet. ”





       Canon guffawed immediately. “Lemme get this straight. You been letting your earners kill thesselves cause ya wanna be discreet? ”





       “It’s not that simple, ” Snow said, glaring at Canon.





       Canon snorted contemptuously. “Simple, yo? How ‘bout plain stupid? Wake up, girl. Them that care, know. And them that don’t, they don’t. Business is business. Green talks, man. Who gives a fuck about you eating pussy? ”





       “So? What do you... fuck it. ” Irritation made Snow’s words seem like a razor’s edge.





       “Nah, girl. Talk to me, ” Canon was quick to reply, her voice no longer irritated. Her movement was slow and gentle as she took Snow’s hand in her own.





       Snow shrugged off Canon’s hand, turning to pour another shot of vodka.





       “Yo, Snow, ” Canon said quietly.





       “Yeah, ” Snow answered after downing another shot of vodka.





       “Talk to me, girl, ” Canon said gently, her hands carefully kneading Snow’s shoulders.





       Snow shook her head. Slowly she turned until she faced Canon, feeling the strong hands around her waist. “I don’t know what to do, Can. I don’t know about this part of the business. ”





       Canon smiled gently before planting a quick kiss on Snow’s vodka-painted lips. “Your boy, Grigory, how he set it up? ”





       The agitation was clear in Snow’s movement away from Canon. “He fucked it up, Canon. Just like he fucked up everything. ”





       Canon was not dissuaded by the apparent rejection. Her voice was quite, her words gentle. “Yo... he your cuz. What’s done is done. Let it go. ”





       That brought a swift flash of anger to Snow, colouring her face in a light shade of pink. “Let it go? He landed you in jail for four years! And for what? Because he was jealous? Hell, Vladimir thinks he was the one that set up the whole thing, ” she growled, spitting the words out.





       “What? ” Canon asked immediately.





       “You know. That he tipped the police, ” Snow explained without delay.





       Canon’s eyes narrowed, as she took a step backwards. “Your boy snitching? ”





       Snow shook her head quickly. “No. He just tipped them about the meet. He knew I’d be there. ”





       “Fuck... ” Canon hissed.





       Snow nodded, her eyes closing for a moment. “Yeah... ”