CHAPTER 24

Archer

I stood at my kitchen sink, drinking down a glass of water in big gulps. I had just gotten back from a run on the shore with the dogs. I wouldn't be able to do that for too much longer once the weather turned.

I stood there thinking about what I was going to do today, feeling a heaviness in my gut that I wasn't sure how to handle. I had felt the same way before my run, too, and thought that the exercise would clear my head. It hadn't.

I was restless, pure and simple. And it wasn't a physical restlessness, apparently. It was mental. When I had awoken that morning, the smell of Bree all around me in the tangled sheets, I had felt happy and content. But then when I realized she had gone, I got up and tried to figure out what to do with my day. There were any number of projects I could work on, but none of them interested me. I had a vague sense that it was a topic that I needed to give some serious consideration to. What are you going to do with your life, Archer? Bree had shaken things up for me–and at the moment, all I could feel was unease. I never expected anyone to come in and open up the world for me, but that's what she had done. And now I had possibilities that I didn't think I'd had before. But they all revolved around her. And that scared me. That scared the living hell out of me.

I heard a knock on my gate and set the glass down. Was Bree off early?

I walked outside my house toward the gate and spotted Travis walking down my driveway toward me.

I stood waiting for him to approach, wondering what the hell he wanted.

He put his hands up in a 'don't shoot me' mock pose, and I cocked my head to the side, waiting.

Travis took a folded paper out of his back pocket and when he got to where I was standing, handed it to me. I took it, but didn't open it.

" Application for a learner's permit, " he said. " You'll just need to bring your birth certificate and proof of address with you. A water bill or whatever. "

I raised my eyebrows, glancing down at the paper. What did he have up his sleeve now?

" I owe you an apology for what I did with the strip club thing. It was… immature and uncool. And I'm actually glad to see that you and Bree worked it out. I think she really likes you, man. "

I wanted to ask him how he knew that–I knew she liked me, maybe more, but I longed to hear what she had told Travis about me, if anything. Of course, even if I'd been able to, it wouldn't be a good idea to ask him–he'd just mess with me, most likely. But I didn't know how to talk about all my feelings with Bree. I knew sex didn't equal love, so how would I know if she loved me if she didn't tell me? And if she wasn't telling me, did that mean that she didn't love me? I was all twisted up and I had no one to talk to.

And the hell of it was, I knew I loved her–fiercely and with every part of my heart, even the broken parts, even the parts that felt unworthy and without value. And maybe those parts most of all.

" So, " Travis went on, " can we call a truce? All's fair in love and war and all that? You win, you won the girl. Can't blame a guy for trying though, right? No hard feelings? " He held his hand out to me.

I looked at it. I trusted Travis about as far as I could throw him, but what was the point in making this some kind of ongoing war between us? He was right–I'd won. Bree was mine. With the thought alone, a fierce possessiveness roared through me. I reached out and shook his hand, still eyeing him distrustfully.

Travis rested his thumbs on his gun belt. " So I guess you already know that Bree's friends are in town–her hometown friends. "

I frowned and pulled my head back slightly and gave myself away. Travis got an 'oh shit, ' look on his face. " Shit, she didn't tell you? " he asked. He looked away and then back at me. " Well, I'm sure it's gotta be hard for her, I mean, here she is, she likes you and at some point, she's gotta go home, back to her real life. That's a tough position to be in. "

Home? To her real life? What the hell was he talking about?

Travis studied me and sighed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. " Shit man, you don't have some kind of delusion that she's going to stay here and work in a small town diner all her life, do you? Maybe come live in this little clapboard shack you call a house and have lots of babies that you'll have no way to support? " He laughed, but when I didn't, his smile drained away and a pitying look replaced it. " Oh hell, that's exactly what you hope, isn't it? "

Blood was roaring in my ears. I hadn't exactly pictured any of that, but the thought of her leaving at all had icy fear racing through my veins.

" Fuck. Listen Archer, when I said you won her, I just meant for the meantime, for a few warm nights, a couple dalliances in your truck. I mean, good for you, you deserve that, man. But shit, don't start fantasizing about more than that. She might tell you she'll stay–she'll probably even mean it for a little while. But a girl like Bree, she went to college, she wants a life eventually. She's here to get away temporarily, to heal a wound–and then she'll leave. And why wouldn't she? What do you have to really offer her? Bree's beautiful–there will always be a guy who wants her and can give her more. " He shook his head. " What can you give her, Archer? Really? "

I was standing frozen in front of this asshole. I wasn't so stupid that I didn't see what he was doing. He was playing a card. But unfortunately for me, the card he was playing was based in truth. He had a winning hand and he knew it. That's what he had come to do–destroy me with the truth. To remind me that I was nothing. And maybe it was a good reminder.

I didn't even know if he wanted her anymore. He might not. But now it was about me not having her either. He was going to win, in one way or another. I saw it–I knew. I had seen that same look on another man's face once. I remembered what it meant.

He took another deep breath, looking slightly embarrassed, or maybe pretending to. He cleared his throat. " Anyway, " he pointed to the piece of paper in my hand, " good luck with the permit. You shouldn't have to walk everywhere you go. " He nodded at me. " Take care, Archer. "

Then he turned and walked back up my driveway and out through the gate. I stood there for a long time, feeling small, imagining her gone, and trying to remember how to keep breathing.