Contents 2 страница

Sebastian led me upstairs and round the corner to a plainly made up bedroom. " There's a bathroom if you want a shower, and something to change into. "

" Thanks, " I said. That strange sense of hesitation was still there in his demeanour, like he was dealing with a distant cousin he only saw at family get-togethers. The desperation, the burning need I'd felt when he first burst into my prison, was nowhere in sight.

" Is there something else going on? " I asked.

" What do you mean? "

I nodded towards the foyer. " I'm not stupid enough to think they're all here for me. "

He paused. " Things have been a bit crazy around here. Your disappearance... well, it wasn't an isolated event. "

I wanted to ask more, but the way his brow furrowed and his voice shook when he spoke told me that perhaps the other situations hadn't turned out so well. There would be time to discuss it later.

He moved to leave, but paused in the doorway. " Like I said, this place is as secure as possible. You saw the guards as we came in, and nobody outside of us even knows it exists. You're safe here, Sophia. "

I nodded, although it felt like a lie. In spite of the virtual fortress around me, I wasn't sure I'd ever really feel safe again.

* * * * *

In the past, I'd always considered sleep a sanctuary. A lot of people in high powered jobs struggle to get enough rest, but no matter how stressed or strung out I was, it had always come easily for me. I love that sense of complete escape, of just shutting down and blocking it all out for a few hours.

But tonight was different. Every time I closed my eyes, it was like being plunged into biting water. I kept remembering the way it had felt that morning, in my house, fading out as the drugs took hold. The brief explosion of dread like a hand closing around my heart as I realised, too late, what was coming. Suddenly the darkness of sleep wasn't soothing, it was terrifying.

And every time I did manage to drift a little, I always woke in a cold sweat, just minutes later, a montage of terrifying images playing through my head. I hated that sense of powerlessness. I was the one in charge of my mind, dammit. The experience had been horrifying, but now it was over. There was no reason to let it affect me anymore. But logic didn't seem to be relevant. This was beyond rationality. Something had broken inside me.

The third or fourth time I woke, it was with a sob. Moonlight cast the room as a series of jagged silhouettes, and despite knowing I was somewhere safe, the unfamiliarity of my surroundings sent something sharp skittering through my chest. Suddenly, it felt like everything was closing in around me. I let out another cry and burrowed deeper under the covers, feeling fresh tears welling in my eyes. I didn't want to be this person, this person who cried at shadows, but I didn't know how to deal with the emotions that were roaring up inside me.

I felt another bolt of fear as I heard the door open, but in a moment there was a familiar weight on the bed, and then Sebastian's arms were circling my body from behind.

" It's okay, " he said, his voice soft. " Let it out. "

I have no idea how he knew I was in distress, but in spite of everything that was still unresolved between us, I loved that he'd come. The sheer strength of his presence dwarfed everything else, dulling the fear. He was my rock and I clung on for dear life, lest I slip back below the surface again.

He didn't say anything else and so neither did I, but just the act of being together was enough. I lay there, listening to the sound of his breathing, enjoying the sensation of that solid chest rising and falling against my back. Gradually, my turmoil began to dissipate. I had no idea how he had such a calming effect on me. When we were together, nothing else seemed to matter.

He felt like home, and for just that night, I pretended like he still was.

CHAPTER THREE

Sebastian

I hadn't expected Sophia to sleep at all, not after what she'd been through. Trauma like that can break a person. But somehow she'd drifted off. I had no idea where she found the strength to be that tough. She never ceased to amaze me.

For a while I lay there, trying to get some rest myself, but the events of the last two days had thrown my whole world into chaos. It was all happening again. The fact that I'd averted the worst didn't make the situation any better. I was an asshole. I should never have let it get to this point, but I was weak, and it had nearly cost the woman I love her life. How the hell could I sleep, knowing that?

To make matters worse, even now I couldn't stay away. She was as secure here as anywhere, but the moment she'd left my sight I began to feel agitated. I still hadn't managed to shed the mindless terror that had seized me when I first heard she'd been taken. The urge to go to her, to simply hold her and never let go, had been almost overpowering.

I'd tried to distract myself. There was certainly no shortage of work to be done — most of my colleagues were holed up together in the board room, planning well into the night — but I was useless there. My mind only wanted to focus on one thing, and soon I found myself sitting, propped up against the wall outside her room, nursing several fingers of scotch in a heavy crystal tumbler. I didn't know why, but just being close to her helped. I made myself vow not to enter. It had taken an immense level of control to cut her off the first time, and every moment in her presence stretched my willpower just a little more. I would keep her safe and solve all this, and then when it was all over, I'd let her go again. It was the only way.

But the moment I heard her sobbing through the door, all sense of self-control fled. Before I knew it, I was on my feet and in her bed. I expected her to fight, after all, I had to be the last person she wanted to see, but she didn't. Instead she just burrowed into me without a word. I hated how perfect that felt, the way her body fit like a missing puzzle piece against mine. I still didn't understand how such simple contact could make me so content, but it did.

And now she slept. I couldn't help but run my eyes over her again. Truth be told, I'd barely been able to stop staring since the moment I entered the room. She looked so fucking beautiful lying there, her face utterly peaceful, her curves perfectly accentuated by the thin cotton sheet. She'd taken the T-shirt I left her, but not the pants, and now in the throes of sleep she'd managed to knock part of the cover free, exposing one delicate hip. It was a tiny thing, the barest hint of pale skin and black cloth, but the sight took my breath away nonetheless. I felt impossibly low, ogling her after everything I'd put her through, but I was powerless to do anything else. Her body was like a drug, a burning rush through my system that was impossible to ignore. I knew how that hip would feel, if only I'd reach out and touch it. I had every inch of her body charted in my head; so perfectly soft, so perfectly feminine.

Fuck. I had to pull myself together.

Ripping my gaze free, I eased my arm out from under her. I'd done what I came to do. She was resting. There was no reason for me to stay.

She stirred briefly, and I came within a hair's breadth of pulling her back against me once more, but after a few moments she settled. Taking one last look, I moved quietly out into the corridor and resumed my watch. I'd be there if she needed me, but anything beyond that was too hard. There was no happy ending here, and letting myself think otherwise would only destroy me more.

* * * * *

I spent the entire night in that hallway. After a few hours my back was killing me, but I refused to move until the sun rose. It was stupid — there were many men much more dangerous than I, stationed around the complex — but I felt compelled to guard her personally, just that once, like that could somehow make up for my earlier failure.

At around seven, I heard her stirring. Not wanting her to know about my vigil, I slipped downstairs and headed for the kitchen. I'd sent enough mixed messages for one night.

I had no idea what the day would bring. Ever since I'd heard about her kidnapping, I'd been operating purely on instinct. A kind of base fury that blotted out everything else. But now that I had her, I had to face the reality of the situation. Now the fallout would begin.

She came downstairs while I was eating breakfast. She looked impossibly angelic; eyes bright, hair tussled. God, no wonder I was in trouble where she was concerned. Even first thing in the morning, frightened and bruised, she was utterly gorgeous, and every time I saw her, it was like seeing her again for the first time.

She shot me a small smile, but it was cautious, deflated. I didn't blame her. " Hey, " she said.

" Hey, " I replied. " Sleep okay? "

She nodded, apparently unsure if she should say anything about my visit. " Eventually, yeah. I'm starving now though. "

" I expected you might be. There's toast or cereal. I'm sorry it's not scrambled eggs, but we're a little unprepared here. "

She blinked a few times, her expression unreadable. I don't know why I made reference to that morning. It felt like a lifetime ago.

" That'll be fine, " she said, and set about making herself something. A minute later, she joined me at the table.

We ate in silence for a while, but I knew that was temporary. She had that glint in her eye again, and the curious little curve of her mouth that I'd seen so many times before. It was the first thing I'd noticed, months ago, when she snuck into our party. I'd known that curiosity was dangerous, but somehow when I opened my mouth to send security after her, I found myself dismissing them instead. The worst part was that, even now, I couldn't make myself regret it.

" So, " she said, after a few minutes. " What happens now? "

I grimaced. I didn't know what to tell her. All of this was unprecedented. Her very presence here went against every rule in the book. " Now, we try to find who did this. "

She nodded slowly. " And what about me? "

" You'll stay here until it's safe for you to go home. "

She stared for several seconds. " And that's it? "

I shrugged and nodded.

" You're still not going to give me any kind of explanation? "

I knew it was pointless, but I tried to fend her off nonetheless. " Like I told you before, Sophia, these secrets, this life, it isn't mine to share. Nothing about that has changed since I wrote that letter. "

Her jaw tightened. " Nothing has changed? Are you kidding me? I just got kidnapped, Sebastian. Kidnapped! If that doesn't change things, I don't know what does. "

I didn't know how to reply. She was right. Of course she was right. But that didn't give me license to break two millennia of tradition. " I'm sorry, " I said, but even I knew it sounded weak.

" That's not good enough. It was one thing to keep me in the dark when it was just our relationship on the line, but it's more than that now. This is my life, for Christ's sake. I didn't ask for this, but like it or not, I'm here now. I deserve to know what the hell I'm involved in. "

I stared into my coffee. There were no right choices. If I told her, I'd be betraying my brothers. But if I didn't, I'd be betraying her. She wasn't going to take that lying down either. If I didn't give her answers, she'd try to find them on her own. And who could blame her? If I were in her position, I'd want to know. But if she started digging, it would only make things worse.

" This isn't a secret like other secrets, Sophia, " I said, feeling impossibly heavy in the chest. My heart and my brain continued to wage war inside me, but I think the battle was already decided. I wanted her to understand why I'd made the decisions I'd made, why I'd caused her such pain. " This isn't the kind of thing you promise to keep to yourself, then get drunk and spill to your friends. "

She rolled her eyes. " I kind of figured that when it caused a couple of men to break into my house and drug me. I get it, this is serious business. "

I exhaled slowly and glanced towards the door, realising exactly how dangerous this was. Most people were still asleep, but all it would take would be one early riser to overhear, and both of Sophia and I would wind up in the firing line. The severity of everything else that was going on here had allowed me a little leniency with the rules, but that would only extend so far. Sharing our secrets was one of the most serious breaches possible.

I got up and checked the corridor, then shut the door. " You can't let the others know I told you. I mean that. They're not stupid. They must already realise you know more than you should, but there's a difference between suspicion and confirmation. If they even catch a hint of this discussion, they'll have grounds to take the matter further, and at that point I doubt I'll be able to protect us. "

Her breathing quickened a little, and for a few seconds I could see her wrestling with herself, but eventually she gave a quick nod. " I understand. " I couldn't help but smile. Told that this information could get her killed, she barely blinked.

I closed my eyes. I felt a little like I was about to jump out of a plane. " I'm... part of something, " I said. " Something very old and very big. We're called the Alpha Group. "

" That's what the 'A' stands for? "

" Yes. "

She nodded to herself. " Okay. So what is it? "

" It's tough to describe. The best phrase would probably be a secret society, but thanks to Dan Brown, that now conjures up images of religious cults and portals to other worlds. The truth of it is a little subtler than that. "

" A secret society? " she said, enunciating each word carefully. She didn't look surprised, in fact she seemed incredibly calm. " Like the Freemasons? "

" Kind of, but not really. These days, they're more of a social club than anything else. It's difficult to be a secret when everyone knows you exist. "

Her eyes were focused intently on me, quietly processing every word I said. " So, what do you do that's so different? "

I gave a wry smile. " That's not easy to summarise. We have our fingers in a lot of pies. In a nutshell, we try to steer things in specific directions. "

" What sort of things? "

" Whatever we think is important, " I replied. " You have to understand, this isn't some two-bit little operation, Sophia. What you've seen here is the tiniest fraction of the group as a whole. We have people all over the world. Government, finance, entertainment, you name it. Each member is carefully selected for the influence they bring to the table and, through that network, we can pull whatever strings we want. "

She closed her eyes briefly, pinching the bridge of her nose between two fingers. " I'm not sure I understand. I mean, I knew you had to be involved in something big, but this is some conspiracy theory stuff you're claiming. " She shook her head slowly. " So, what, are we talking like rigging elections and starting wars? "

I licked my lips. " Those are pretty extreme examples. We tend to be a little more low key than that. I'd rather not go into the specifics — I'm breaking enough rules as it is — but everything we do has a larger purpose. "

" And who decides on the larger purpose? " she asked, a hint of disapproval in her voice. " If what you're saying is true, aren't you basically just a group of people who conspire to use your connections to do whatever the hell you want? "

" It's a little more complicated than that. You're judging us without knowing anything about us. "

" So explain it, because it seems to me that a group like this is basically corrupt by definition. No wonder you and your friends are richer than sin. "

I sighed. It was almost impossible to make her understand in the space of a single conversation. People were normally brought in slowly, over a matter of months. It had taken me nearly a quarter of a year to fully wrap my head around it all. " It's not like that. Most people in the group are recruited because of their wealth and power, not the other way around. The group is fundamentally about doing good. "

" In what way? "

Apparently I was going to have to give more details. I wracked my brains for an example that would get through to her. " Remember the town I told you I grew up in? "

She nodded.

" Well I made that my first project when I joined, before I came to Australia. The group worked wonders over there. We got the government to pave actual roads, had them install better water filtration, even got the town on the electricity grid. It's still dirt poor, but the people there actually have a chance now. Our work isn't all that overtly philanthropic of course, don't think I'm sugar coating it, but our overall goal is to fix glaring inequalities, to protect people who can't protect themselves. "

" But those sorts of responsibilities belong to the government. You know, the people we actually choose to run things. "

" Come on, Sophia. Someone as smart as you can't really believe in the effectiveness of the government when it comes to protecting the individual. There's as much corruption there as anywhere in the world. Look at the GFC. Millions of people were financially ruined, and yet nothing came of it. Nobody has really been punished, no changes have been put in place. And that's just the tiniest tip of the iceberg. "

She pondered this. " Okay, that might be true, but if you're so concerned with the lives of the everyday worker, why didn't you do something about that? "

I grimaced. " That's a sore spot for us, actually. The truth is we just didn't see it early enough. We're powerful, but we're not omniscient, and the big banks are particularly hard for us to break into at a high level. The kinds of guys who are happy to swindle people for billions aren't generally the sort of members we want to recruit. "

For a few seconds she sat in silence, her face impassive.

" You know me, " I continued. " You know the sort of person I am. Is it so hard to believe we might actually have good intentions? "

Her expression softened, although she still seemed somewhat unsure. " Let's say I believe you, " she said. " There's still a lot of questions unanswered. Like how are you not discovered? "

I shrugged. " We're very good at staying under the radar. We've had a lot of practice. The group is over two thousand years old. "

Her eyes widened. " Two thousand? "

I nodded. " This sort of thing doesn't just spring up overnight. We started in ancient Greece — hence the name — as a way to keep the government in check, and it kind of grew from there. Democracy was new then, and there were... teething problems. When those problems didn't go away with time, we hung around. Anyway, with the amount of influence we've now got, keeping our activities out of the limelight is actually fairly easy, as long as we don't do anything too bold. "

" So what about Fraiser Capital then? "

" It's a real company, " I replied, " but it's also our main front, here in Australia. Venture capital firms throw money at all kinds of strange projects. Having it as a legitimate entity makes financing and directing our operations much easier. "

" So that party I snuck into...? "

" A meeting for potential new recruits. "

She nodded to herself. " Right. " She was much calmer now that the initial disbelief had worn off, calmer than I'd expected.

Her eyes flicked to mine, and she hesitated. " So I'm guessing that a group like this probably has its share of enemies, " she said slowly.

I could see where she was going with this, connecting the dots. " We do. "

" Enemies that might do things like kidnap your members' girlfriends? "

My shoulders slumped. " It's possible. " Instinctively I reached out to clasp her hand, but managed to stop myself. No more mixed messages. " Believe me, I've been wracking my brains trying to work out why this happened. I have no idea what anyone would hope to gain from taking you. "

" Is there anyone out there that might want to hurt you personally? " she asked.

It wasn't like I hadn't been through that a thousand times too, both now and when Liv was killed, but I always came up empty. " Not that I can think of. "

She pondered for a few more seconds. " What about whatever's going on here then? The other disappearances. Is there a connection there? "

I closed my eyes briefly, feeling a fresh surge of anger. With everything that had happened to Sophia, it was easy to forget that there was more at stake than that.

" Maybe. Those situations were a little different, " I replied, struggling to keep my voice level. " They weren't disappearances. They were murders. "

Her hand flew to her mouth. " Oh God, " she said, and this time she was the one that reached for me. That simple contact felt wonderful and, although I knew I should, I didn't pull away.

" The first one happened a few days ago. Charlie didn't show up for an appointment. We didn't think too much of it, until the next day, when someone went to his house and discovered his body. "

" Jesus, " Sophia replied.

" We were still trying to figure it out, but then yesterday, the same thing happened with Simon. At that point we knew we were under attack, so we followed protocol and gathered our senior members here. " It felt strange to be saying this stuff out loud. It made it seem more real. I'd known Charlie and Simon for the better part of ten years. They were my friends, and although saving Sophia had briefly blotted out everything else, I felt their loss as keenly as anyone.

" I'm sorry, " she said.

I nodded in thanks. " Perhaps there's a connection there, " I said. " Perhaps it was the same people and we just got to you before... " I couldn't finish the sentence. " Anyway, we're using every available resource to work out who is responsible. And I swear to you, I won't stop until you're safe and you can leave all of this behind. "

She stared at me for what felt like an eternity, her jaw set tightly, her eyes flickering with some emotion I couldn't identify.

Eventually, I heard the sound of a door closing upstairs. People were starting to wake up. Realising she still held my hand in hers, I reluctantly pulled away and got to my feet. " I have to go. There will be a meeting soon and I have to prepare. Just try to lie low, okay? I'll check in with you later. "

She gave the barest hint of a nod.

I felt better, having told her the truth. Now she understood. It didn't make up for the pain I'd caused, but it was something.

On my way back to my room, I ran into Trey, who was just coming in through the front door.

" Just the man I wanted to see, " he said. He wasn't part of our senior council, so he wasn't staying in the house. He was out on the street, working leads and keeping the rest of Alpha's ventures running smoothly.

" Oh yeah? What's up? " I asked.

He handed me a file he was carrying. " Just got these back from our team. None of those guys that took Sophia came back with any kind of match. Whoever they were, the computers of the world do not know them. "

I let out a long sigh. Everything we'd run so far on Sophia's kidnappers had come back negative. Nobody should have been that hard to track. We had access to every database that mattered.

" Thanks, " I said to him. " Keep at it. Something has to give eventually. "

" Will do. " He hesitated, like he was afraid to ask what came next. " How's Sophia doing? "

I gave a weary shrug. " I don't know. It's hard to tell. I think she might still be in shock, to be honest. "

" Yeah, I can imagine all of this is pretty difficult for a civilian to process. "

" That's one way to put it, " I said heavily. I had no idea how she was going to react to everything I'd just told her once she had some time to digest it. It could go a thousand different ways. " Anyway, I should go. Meeting in a few minutes. "

" No worries. "

I turned to go, but then a thought occurred to me.

" How do you do it, Trey? "

He cocked his head to one side. " Do what? "

" Keep your private life and your professional life separate? " A few years ago, Trey had been just like me. One empty fling after another. But then he'd had his own Sophia moment. He'd met a girl who made him give all that up, but unlike me, he managed to keep her in the dark. I didn't think I'd even met her. He kept her totally separate from anything group related. I always wondered how he pulled that off.

He flashed me a half smile. " I just have a girl who understands me, I guess. "

He made it sound so damn easy.

CHAPTER FOUR

Sebastian

I'd always known there were protocols in place for if a situation ever got really bad, but I'd never experienced them first hand until now. All of our key personnel were currently gathered here in lock down. It was part strategy meeting, part protection detail. We couldn't afford to leave ourselves exposed, not when we were completely on the back foot. Whoever was behind the attacks was clearly well connected. So far, they'd been like ghosts.

After a quick shower, I headed to the back of the house. We'd set up a makeshift board room in the study, and the bulk of the inner council was already there when I arrived. Thomas, and one or two others, nodded greetings, but the rest either ignored me or scowled pointedly before turning away. I hadn't done myself any favours rescuing Sophia the way I had. It went against several key group rules, and a good chunk of the room wasn't in a hurry to let me forget it. If the situation had been any less dire, I'd probably have faced disciplinary action; but, for now, they had to settle for dirty looks and snide comments. We had bigger things on our plate.

" How you holding up? " asked Thomas, coming over to join me.

I shrugged. " How do you think? " I tried to keep the frustration from my voice, but I didn't do a very good job.

He studied me for several seconds. " You got her out, man. That's what matters. "

" Is it? Then why do I still feel like shit? "

" Hey, I don't blame you. I'd be angry too. But try to go a little easier on yourself. You couldn't have known. "

I felt my hands contract into fists. " Of course I could have. You know, I really thought I was smart enough not to put anyone else in this position again, but apparently I'm a slower learner than I thought. "

He flinched a little at my tone, but his voice remained calm. " I thought we were past this. You know as well as I do that the situations are completely different. What happened to Liv was a tragedy, but there's nothing tying it to any of this. It was a freak accident, that's all. You have to let it go. Stop blaming yourself. "

I gave a bitter little laugh. It wasn't like I hadn't tried. Objectively, I knew he was right. Our investigation had never found anything to indicate that Liv's death was more than a standard break and enter gone wrong. But no matter how much evidence there was to the contrary, the heavy sensation I'd carried in my stomach since that day refused to dissipate.