Book Three 1 страница

Book Three

Witness

“Nooo! ” I woke up gasping, and the word came out strangled as I inhaled.

I couldn’t get enough air and I was having heart palpitations like I’d just run a marathon.

I thought I might throw up.

I couldn’t remember the details of the nightmare, but I knew I’d been falling. It wasn’t one of those falling‑ off‑ the‑ couch dreams, either – I had been falling for miles.

I’d been having that kind of dream a lot lately, but this time, I couldn’t shake the sense that something was very, very wrong. Blinking, I reoriented myself – me, check. Harry, check. Woods probably somewhere around the Washington‑ Canada border, check. Sanity? Maybe a bit iffy.

Maximum Ride is next.

I held my breath, certain I heard the rustle of branches or shoes shuffling through the fallen pine needles not too far away.

“Did you hear something? ” I whispered, and elbowed Harry next to me, but his only response was making twittering noises in his sleep.

So much for his evolved reflexes.

I listened again, trying not to breathe, but the only thing I heard was the hoot of an owl somewhere in the distance. Okay, maybe I was being paranoid. The adrenaline had kicked my senses into overdrive. I just needed to calm down and try to get back to sleep.

But it had gotten so cold. It felt rooted deep in my body, and I was shivering too much to relax. Since Harry was asleep anyway, I scooched closer to him, trying to get warm. His wings folded forward to encircle me, and for a moment I almost convinced myself that they were Fang’s wings, guarding me from whatever might come.

My breath started to slow...

Suddenly my face hit the dirt as Harry yanked his wing out from under my cheek. When I scrambled to my knees, he was already hovering in the air, alert. The kid had my back after all, and I would have smiled in appreciation if I hadn’t been so concerned with what had set him off: a figure materializing out of the trees.

A guy.

With wings.

Seeing the outline of feathers, Harry relaxed a little, but the sight made my pulse race faster.

I thought of the way my gut had been telling me to come this way all along.

The way I’d been so sick with worry I’d barely been able to eat.

I knew I would find him.

But...

“Dylan? ”

“Hey, Max, ” he answered, as if he’d just run to the store and was back now. I’d thought he was dead all this time.

“Max Mum? ” Harry asked uncertainly.

Dylan looked past Harry to where I was still sitting on the ground, but all I could do was blink back at him dumbly. After my silence lasted a beat too long, Dylan asked, “Aren’t you happy to see me? ”

“Yeah. I just. I thought, ” I said haltingly, still out of sorts. “For a second you looked like... Fang. ”

Dylan’s entire posture stiffened, but his face seemed to crumple, his gaze falling to the ground.

Nice one, jerkface. Real sensitive.

“I’m sorry, ” I blurted, starting to recover from the shock. “I mean yes, of course! ” I scrambled to my feet and ran to him. “I am really happy to see you, Dylan. ”

Now I was a grinning idiot, so freaking relieved that he was safe. When he folded me into a hug, I loved the way he squeezed me a little too tight, held on a little too long. I sighed against him, but I was confused by the way my heart was leaping like a frog on speed when just a minute ago I’d wanted so desperately to see Fang.

I had to pull back.

“Everybody thought you were dead! ” I said. I was gripping the sides of his arms, and his muscles were bigger than I remembered, more solid. His hair was changed, too – cropped close to his skull – and his eyes, which had always been so clear and bright, looked strangely cloudy.

“Why do you look so different? ” I asked, my gaze traveling down from his black coat to his heavy combat boots. “And why are you dressed like you’re in a biker gang? You even have gloves – so much more prepared for this weather than me. ”

Rather than answer me, Dylan turned behind him, and a smaller figure stepped forward.

“Oh, my God! Angel! ” My heart lit as it always did when I saw her. I rushed to her, saying, “I was on my way to join you! I can’t believe you’re here, too! ”

But Angel wasn’t smiling, and the expression on her face stopped me in my tracks. Something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? ” I frowned.

Angel pressed her lips together, like she was trying to hold something in tight. “Max... ”

That cold feeling returned, flooding my whole body, and my voice rose shrilly.

“What’s wrong? ”

Then Angel ran to me, crashing into me, almost bowling me over.

“Oh, Max! ” she cried. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my shirt as her too‑ thin body shook against me.

I rubbed her back, smoothed her hair. I was so relieved to be holding her like this, so grateful to have my littlest girl back with me that I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t want to ruin that one happiness.

But I had to know.

“They’re dead, aren’t they? ” My voice was flat, certain. “The rest of the flock is dead. Fang, Nudge, Iggy, Total... ”

Angel pulled back from me, her eyes red.

“No. ” She wiped her nose with her palm and shook her head. “Nudge is okay. Iggy. They’re not all–”

“I saw on the blog. They said Gazzy... ” My voice cracked and I swallowed. “I guess if you screw around with explosives for long enough, that’s what happens. ”

“It’s not true, ” Dylan said, stepping forward. “The deaths were faked. The kids are fine. ”

“You don’t have to lie to me, ” I said bitterly. “I can handle it. ”

But Dylan had always been one of the most honest people I’d known – he was often a little too truthful about his feelings – and I saw he was serious now.

“I faked their deaths, ” he clarified.

“You wha–” I stared at him incredulously. I thought about the misery I’d felt reading those words, the wrenching uncertainty of the past few days. I narrowed my eyes, and my voice was razor sharp. “Why would you do that? ”

Dylan sighed and shook his head. “I had to convince the Remedy I’d killed them, so he wouldn’t send the other Horsemen. ”

I looked at him sidelong, confused at first. And then I understood, and my eyes flew open.

“The other Horsemen? ” I repeated. I stepped closer to him, already balling my fists. “You’re one of the Horsemen? ”

“Not exactly... ”

Dylan built a fire, and over the next hour, he explained what had happened when he’d left us – how he’d been trying to find the water jugs by the lake and had gotten disoriented.

“I guess it was the toxic gases from the volcano. I just kept stumbling around, retracing my steps. My shoe got stuck between rocks, and when I yanked my foot free, the shoe was completely charred. I knew I had to get out of there, but by then the smoke was so thick I could barely see, and my ears were still fuzzy from the blast. So when I heard someone shout my name, I thought it was one of you. ”

The knot in my stomach tightened.

“When I turned, ” Dylan went on, “a metal pipe smashed into my face. I fell forward onto my knees, and then someone stabbed my neck with a syringe. ”

“Who was it? ” I prodded.

Dylan shook his head. “Never got a look. Next thing I know, I’m in an underground lab surrounded by cages. ”

Harry’s eyes widened–“cage” was a word he understood.

“What did they do to you? ” I asked.

“I found out later they call it upgrading. ” Dylan shut his eyes for a second, his jaw tightening. “When it was over, I did feel different – stronger. ” Unconsciously he flexed his fingers, and I remembered how he’d felt so much more muscular.

He looked at me. “But the complete reprogramming didn’t take. I was still me, but I was supposed to be somebody else. The only clue I had to go on was a note in my hand. ”

He took a piece of folded paper from his pocket and held it out to me. “ ‘One True Way, ’ ” I read. “Sounds like some Doomsday nonsense. ”

Dylan nodded. “I thought the same thing, but when I walked out of the lab, I saw that the streets all had names like that – Right Path, Just Causeway. One True Way was an address, not a slogan. ”

“How did you just walk out of the lab? ” I asked.

“I don’t know – one day the door was open. I went through it, expecting to be captured at any second, but I just kept going. Then it was up a bunch of stairs, and I was on a street. ”

“Where? What city? ” I pressed.

Dylan shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t recognize it. And when I got to the address on True Way, Dr. Gunther‑ Hagen was waiting for me. ”

“Wait, Hans is alive? ” I perked up. The last we’d seen of the German geneticist was in the fiery blaze of a plane crash over a year ago. We’d all assumed he was dead.

Dylan glanced at Angel, and she gave a slight nod. He turned back to me and rested his hands on my shoulders. His face was serious.

“Max, Dr. Gunther‑ Hagen is the Remedy. ”

“What?! ” I was on my feet, my mouth hanging open.

“I wasn’t sure what to make of him at first, ” Dylan continued. “I tried to keep quiet, feel him out. But after a lecture on how the only solution to the ecological crisis was completely eliminating human impact, he asked me to kill the rest of the flock. ”

“You have to be kidding me. Hä agen‑ Dazs? Last I heard, he wanted me to start reproducing! Now we have to be eliminated? ”

Dylan and Angel both nodded somberly. The three of us shared the unspoken knowledge that Dylan had been designed to be my mate, my perfect partner.

“Well, nothing should surprise me, at this point, ” I said. “And yet I’m surprised. ” Needing a minute, I stalked around the woods, trying to figure this out. Dylan was one of the Horsemen. Angel had arranged to have him pretend to kill the rest of the flock – convincingly, I might add. Now Dr. G‑ H had turned out not only to be alive, but to be the biggest honcho in all of honchodom.

I thought back to what Dr. Hans had said about Fang’s special DNA. How ambitious the doctor had been. How he had millions in grant money at his disposal.

Dr. Gunther‑ Hagen might have been a philanthropist, an environmentalist, and a brilliant scientist. But he was also a rich, manipulative extremist with a God complex – never a good combo.

I’d never liked him.

“He’s the force I’ve seen building for so long, ” Angel said when I got back. “He is plague, and war, and famine, and death. ”

“What you mean is, he’s a total asshat, ” I said bluntly. “And we could’ve stopped him sooner. ”

Then I got angry. Nail‑ spittingly angry. I was furious at everything Dr. G‑ H had done, and I wanted someone to pay. Right now.

“So, let me get this straight, ” I said to Dylan. “This mass murderer was right in front of you, asking you to join his murder team and kill your friends, and instead of taking him out right then, you accepted the mission? And you just left him there? ”

Dylan looked at me like I’d slapped him, and color rushed to his cheeks as if I really had.

“If I had killed the Remedy then, I would have been dead myself a second later. He has guards everywhere. But by pretending to follow his orders, I’ve been able to save the flock, gather information, and help Angel in her plan. Is that not good enough for you? ”

“Why didn’t you come get me? ” I pressed. “I could’ve helped you. ”

“You were halfway around the world! ”

“So was everyone else! ” I yelled.

As Harry crouched on the other side of the fire, his head jerked back and forth between Dylan and me.

“I told you, the doctor was sending reinforcements, the other Horsemen! ” Dylan threw up his hands in exasperation. “I had to get to everyone first and convince him you were all dead. Or you really would be! ”

“But you–” I started again, but realized I was running out of objections.

It was possible Dylan had actually done a really good, selfless thing.

Maybe you should stop berating him, Angel’s voice said inside my head as she cocked an eyebrow. I glared at her, knowing she was right.

When I looked back at Dylan, into those aqua eyes that I’d missed so much, the fight drained right out of me.

“You did it all on your own? ” I asked more calmly. “You risked your life to save the rest of the flock? ”

“You guys are my family. ” Dylan shrugged, humble as ever. “It’s what any of you would’ve done. ”

My heart melted right then, and I nodded.

Yeah, it is. Time to eat crow. So to speak.

“C’mere, Boy Wonder. ” I yanked Dylan toward me for the tightest hug, squeezing those pumped‑ up biceps until he understood how thankful I was – for what he’d done, and that he was still alive.

That he really was part of our family.

“So everyone’s safe, then? ” I said, once the hugfest was over. “Where’s the flock? Are they close? I can’t wait to have us all back together again. ”

Dylan winced and looked at Angel.

“What is it? ” I asked.

Something was very wrong.

“Almost everyone’s safe. ” Angel spoke carefully.

I frowned. “Is someone hurt? What happened? Is it Nudge? Total? ”

“It’s Fang, ” Dylan said softly, not looking at me.

“Yeah? What about him? ”

“He’s... dead, Max. ”

You’d think those words would’ve laid me out, but they didn’t.

Because they simply didn’t make sense. I had once thought Angel was dead. It had been bad. I had feared that Dylan was dead, since we’d left the island. I had worried about each person in my flock, worried until it ate away at my insides and destroyed my sleep. But I’d never, ever imagined that Fang would actually ever be dead.

Ever.

Not until I was dead, too.

“I don’t understand, ” I said stiffly. “There must be some mistake. ”

Tell me it was a mistake. Tell me the reports of Fang’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

Tell me.

“I knew it was gonna happen. ” Angel’s voice sounded like it was underwater. “I’ve known it forever, and now it’s real. ”

Real. Dead. Fang, my Fang, was no longer in this world. The world was still turning somehow, but without Fang.

My body seemed to understand the words before my head did. Just like this morning, I couldn’t get enough oxygen, and my heart and lungs were working double‑ triple‑ overtime. This time, my heart was physically breaking.

“Why do you think that? ” My voice was remote.

Dylan hesitated. “It was the Horsemen – upgraded Erasers. ”

“No. Take it back, ” I choked out.

Make this feeling stop.

“Take what–” Dylan started to ask, but I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and slammed him against a tree, pressing my forearm tight against his throat.

“Max! ” Angel gasped.

“Take it back! ” I repeated in a shrill, maniacal voice I didn’t recognize.

Dylan looked back at me helplessly, his beautiful eyes full of anguish.

“Say he’s not dead! ” I roared, and shook Dylan harder.

Stop it, Max! Angel said. She had weaseled her way inside my head, and I felt my fists unclenching despite what I was telling them to do. Let. Him. Go.

My arms fell to my sides, Dylan fell to the ground, and then I dropped to my knees, crying so hard I couldn’t breathe.

I sat alone in the dark, leaning against the trunk of a tree, pressing my face into my knees. My eyes were bleary from exhaustion and tears, but I wouldn’t lie down. I couldn’t go to sleep.

Thirty feet away, Angel, Dylan, and Harry still sat around the glowing coals, talking quietly. Well, not Harry. They’d left me alone after I had broken down. I’d cried so hard I’d thrown up, retching into the pine needles, and then I’d cried some more.

I felt their helplessness, their shared pain, but they had no idea. No one had ever possibly felt this bad before. Not like this. When Harry had tried to pat my shoulder, I had punched him. My squalling grief had shut Angel out of my head completely. Finally I’d crawled off into the darkness, stopping only when I ran into a tree. My exhausted brain didn’t know what else to do, so I had curled up in front of the tree.

They hadn’t come after me. They were probably afraid I was going to freak out again, get violent. Or that I’d make that horrible, wrenching sound of pain again, sobs that shook not just my body, but the earth, the trees, the sky. They were afraid that next time, I wouldn’t stop.

I was all cried out, though.

And as I slowly came back to my senses, I saw how stupid it was to cry over something that was so obviously not true.

This was Fang we were talking about. The Fang who had once fought five Erasers at once and had come out with only a bloody nose. Fang had healed from a bullet wound in two days. He could slip invisibly between shadows and fly with the speed of a fighter jet and was one step ahead in a fight, always. He had almost died once, when Dr. Gunther‑ Hagen had almost completely drained his blood and replaced it with chemicals, but with a shot of adrenaline, Fang was back up in no time. He had survived a fiery apocalypse and pulled me from the grip of a tsunami.

The kid had invincible DNA, for crying out loud. He couldn’t just die.

And if he wasn’t dead, which he wasn’t, that meant I needed to find him.

I looked over at the group gathered around the fire. It looked so warm over there, so cozy. For a second, I ached to be with the family I had missed for so long.

I couldn’t see their faces from here, and their words were only murmurs. If I got closer, I’d have to look into their sad eyes, and I’d want to scratch them out. If I heard the lies spilling from their mouths, I’d want to plug them with a fist.

They were right to leave me alone. They were right to be afraid.

I didn’t think I would ever forgive them for a lie like this.

Not true not true not true, I shouted inside my head like a mantra, trying to drown out their voices.

Angel walked toward me, and I sat up a bit.

“I’m so sorry, Max. ”

“I’m okay, ” I said, without looking up.

“Harry’s pretty cool, huh? ” she said after a minute. “His thoughts are so funny. All jumbled and excited. Like a little kid’s. ”

“Mmm. ”

You just can’t stay out of anyone’s head, can you?

If Angel heard my thought, she didn’t respond. She just stood silent, a silhouette backlit by the fire, watching me. Her gaze was gentle, but I knew those icy blue eyes could turn cold and ruthless. I remembered that she and her cherubic face had betrayed me again and again. I reminded myself that Angel would do anything to get what she wanted – even put a voice inside my head to challenge my decisions.

She was lying this time, too. She had to be.

“Do you have something to say? ” I asked finally, looking up.

Just tell me what all this is about. Tell me the truth.

Angel sighed. “I don’t have all the answers, Max. I just know we have to get to Russia. I think everything has been building to this. We really need to leave soon, to go meet up with the other kids. ”

“Okay. ”

“Yeah? ” Angel’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “That’s great! Me and Dylan had a pretty rough day flying through a blizzard, though. We should get a few hours of sleep first. ” She laid her hand on my back. “You could use some rest, too, Max. We can head out in the morning. ”

I stood up and began to pack. “Take Harry along with you guys, okay? He needs to be with other bird kids, and there’s something I need to do alone. ”

Angel glared at me, her mouth twisting into an angry knot. “I thought you’d learned your lesson, Max. I thought that was why you came after us. But you’re just going to walk away from your flock? Again? ”

When I didn’t answer, she batted the bedding out of my hands.

“So when it’s finally time to do what you’re meant to do, you’re running from your destiny? I have news for you, Max: You don’t have a choice. ”

Annnd, after approximately one hour of sweetness, Angel the Tyrant was back.

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be such a drama queen. I’ll catch up with the flock. There’s just a place I need to stop by first. ”

“The only place we need to go is Russia. All of us. ”

I didn’t respond. She knew I was headed to Alaska.

“There’s no point. ” Angel trailed me to my small pile of clothes. “I told you, he’s dead. ”

“Stop it. Stop saying that. ” I wrenched my hand away from her and closed my eyes, blocking out the words.

It’s a lie it’s a lie it’s a–

“It’s true. I don’t know how to make you believe it. ”

I clamped my teeth together and started tossing dried food in a bag.

That’s why I’m going to Alaska. To see for myself.

“There’s nothing to see, Max. Fang faced his fate. ” She paused and then said more loudly, “He wasn’t a coward. ”

I glared daggers at her smug little face.

“Did you see him die? ” I challenged. “You weren’t there, were you? ”

“I told you, I’ve seen Fang die a thousand times! ” Angel’s shout was half sob. “It doesn’t matter if I was there, because I can’t get the nightmare out of my head. ”

“If you weren’t there, then you don’t know. ” I turned away from her, scooping up the sleep sack from where it had fallen. “Not for sure. ”

“I was there. ”

Dylan was still crouched by the cooling embers. His face was in profile as he leaned forward, hands clasped over his knees, and his voice was so soft I wasn’t sure I’d heard right at first.

“What? ” I managed to squeak, and he turned his head.

“I said I was there. I saw it. ”

I had to go, had to leave now.

“Max... ” Dylan said, walking over.

It took everything in me not to run. I grabbed a handful of clothes and busied myself with layering for the cold flight ahead.

“Max, look at me. Please. ”

I pulled my sweatshirt over my head slowly, losing myself in the fabric. When Dylan tugged it down, I started to turn away, but he held my shoulders firm, forcing me to face him.

“I was there. ” He sighed heavily. “To warn him. To fake his death like I did with the others. But I guess the Remedy didn’t think I could handle Fang, and he sent reinforcements. ”

“And you didn’t help him? ” My voice sounded small, weak. I blinked hard, but my sore eyes burned with salt. “You didn’t save him? ”

“I tried! ” Dylan pressed his palm against the trunk of a tree and shook his head. “There were too many of them, and I lost consciousness... ”

“You blacked out? ” I focused on that last scrap of hope – the final possibility that could mean it was all a big mistake. “So you didn’t see him die, either. ”

It’s a lie a lie a lie.

“I saw the Horsemen tear into him. ”

That’s when it all started to feel real again, and the tears began to leak everywhere.

“Max Mum! ” Harry’s feathers were all puffed up again, and he was glaring at Dylan.

“I’m fine, Harry. ” I was blubbering, but I held my hand up to tell him to stay where he was.

Dylan lowered his voice and knelt down next to me. “I know this is hard for you, ” he said gently. “I know you still don’t trust Angel, and as for me... ” My heart clenched and I looked up just as he glanced away. “Well, I have no idea what you think of me anymore.

“But you know I wouldn’t lie to you. ” His gaze was steady, and he took both of my hands in his. “Fang’s not coming back, Max. Not ever. I even sent the video to the Remedy as proof. It was the first time I reported a death that wasn’t a lie. ”

My whole body stiffened.

“What do you mean, the video? ” I asked, and Dylan winced. “Tell me. ”

“They put a tech chip in my arm to communicate, ” he explained reluctantly, and pulled up his sleeve to reveal a small screen. “I was recording to sell the doctor on what I thought would be a faked death, like all the others, but then... ”

“Play it for me. ”

Dylan’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Max, no. Trust me, you don’t want to see that. ” When I didn’t look away, Dylan started to pace. “Look, maybe I don’t want to see it again, either, okay? When I woke up and saw him lying there, all... ”

Dylan took a deep breath and raked his fingers through his hair as if trying to pull the image out. He looked back at me with an expression of utter horror, but I tugged at his arm desperately.

“I’ll never believe it, ” I pleaded. “I’ll never let it go. I just need to know, Dylan. To move on. ”

Dylan pressed his lips together in disapproval, shaking his head. He pushed a button on his wrist.

The picture was grainy and chaotic, and dark forms swooped in and out of the frame, massive Erasers who kept landing hard hits. I heard Dylan’s voice pleading, and then Fang’s voice, and then Dylan’s moan, just as a set of ugly wolf jaws seemed to come right at the screen, blurring the video for a second.

“This is where I blacked out, ” Dylan said.

But the camera kept rolling. Now that Dylan wasn’t jerking all around, it was actually a lot clearer than before.

At first you only saw fat, white snowflakes, with the mountainous skyline stretching far into the background. I watched those snowflakes for several long seconds, feeling anything but calm as the quiet rang in my ears.

Then, a voice offscreen. A man’s voice was calling up to Fang, taunting him. A voice I recognized.

“What the hell was Jeb doing there? ” I jumped to my feet, shouting at Dylan.

But before he answered, we saw action on the video screen. Fang crashed into the image with three giant Erasers snarling on his back. Fang was more beat‑ up than I’d ever seen him. His lips and eyes were so swollen and bloodied that his face was almost unrecognizable, and the huge wolves were still going to town, biting into his flesh and pummeling his skull one after the other.

“Why isn’t he fighting back? ” I demanded, watching as Fang raked his nails along the ground, trying to crawl free.

“He was, ” Dylan answered. “But they’re not just Erasers. They’re Horsemen. ”

My hands covered my mouth and half my face so that just my eyes were peeking out. I watched as a steel‑ toed boot connected with Fang’s torso, and I felt my own body shudder as I heard his ribs crack. I didn’t know how much more I could take of this, when, mercifully, they tumbled out of view.

Jeb was on the edge of the screen, though. We heard the grunts of the fighters, and he was crouched next to them like a patient referee waiting to call the match. Then, even though I couldn’t see what happened, I heard Fang scream in agony.

The sound made my eyes fill with tears and my blood run cold. I was shaking all over.

But Fang and the Horsemen rolled into view again, and I exhaled with relief. This time, Fang had his arms locked around the three hulking bodies, grabbing fistfuls of fur and straining necks – whatever he could grasp. He seemed so confident, I thought he’d gotten some advantage, channeled a new power.

But then he started to roll.

“What is he doing? ” I whimpered. “Oh, God, what is he doing? ”

Despite his obviously weakened state, Fang’s will was unstoppable. He dragged the frantic Horsemen toward the edge... and then they were offscreen again.

Afterward, I held my breath as I waited for Fang to stumble back in front of the camera, listening desperately for the sound of his ragged breathing.

There were only snowflakes, though – and silence.

The silence seemed to go on forever.

Dylan started to turn off the video, but then I spotted Jeb, awkwardly dragging something toward the edge.

“Wait! ” I squeezed Dylan’s arm. “What is that? ”

It was black and oddly shaped, textured and smooth at once.

“Stop it, ” I said abruptly. I felt bile rising in my throat as I remembered the screams. “That’s enough. ”

It was way more than enough.

It was Fang’s bloody, mangled wing.

“He took the rest of them out with him, ” Dylan said reverently. “The best assassins the Remedy had. He was brave, Max. To the very end. I thought you might want this, ” he added. “To remember. ”

Dylan held out a feather, about a foot long, beautifully black and shiny.

If you’ve ever loved someone like I did, if they made you crazy and happy and exasperated and elated and if you wanted to hold them and shake them and sometimes kick them and if, after all that, they were like part of your family and part of your soul...

Imagine seeing that feather. Imagine what that felt like.

It made it real.

It wasn’t just a punch to the gut; it was a rip, too – like someone had torn all the hope and love, plus all the muscle and bone, right out of my body. I had nothing left to stand on.