Арчибальд Джозеф Кронин 36 страница

" I'll be mad if you go, " she cried. " What chance will I have here all by myself? Mary away, and you away, and only me left! What'll become of me? "

" Stop your howling, " he shot at her, with a quick glance towards the door. " Do you want everybody to hear you with that bawling? He'll be in at us in a minute if you're not careful. I've got to go and that's all about it. "

" Could you not take me with you then, Matt, " she gulped, stifling her sobs with difficulty. " I know I'm young but I could keep the house for you. That's always the sort of thing I've wanted to do and not these miserable lessons. I would do everything for you, Matt. "

Her attitude apprised him that she would serve him like a slave, her eyous implored him not to leave her desolate and forsaken.

" They would never hear of you going out. The sooner you get it out of your head the better. Can you not look pleased at your brother getting a fine job like this instead of moaning and groaning about it? "

" I am pleased for your sake, Matt, " she sniffed, wiping her eyous with her saturated handkerchief. " I… I was just thinking about myself. "

" That's it, " he shot out. " You can't think of anybody else. Try to have some consideration for other people. Don't be so selfish! "

" All right, Matt, " she said, with a last convulsive sigh. " I'll try. Anyway, I'm sorry. "

" That's better, " he replied largely, in a more affable tone; but even as he spoke he shivered, and, changing his tone to one of complaint, he cried, " Gosh; It's cold in here! How do you expect a man to stand talking to you if you haven't got a fire? If your circulation can stand this, mine can't. I'll need to put my coat on and away out to walk up my circulation. " He stamped his feet then turned abruptly, calling to her, " I'm away out then, Nessie. "

When he had gone she remained rigid, the small, wet ball of the handkerchief clutched tightly in her hand, her red‑ lidded eyous fixed upon the door which had closed upon her like the door of a prison. The avenue of the future down which she gazed was gloomy and amidst the dark, forbidding shadows she saw the figure of Nessie Brodie pass fearfully and alone. No one could now come between her and her father, no one interpose between her frailty and the strength of his unknown purpose. Matthew would go as Mary had gone. Mary! She had thought so much of her lately that she longed now for the comfort of her sister's arm around her, for the solace of her quiet smile, the sustaining courage that lay within her steady

eyous. She needed someone to whom she might unburden her weary mind, in whom she could confide her sorrows, and the thought of her sister's tranquil fortitude drew her. " Mary! " she whispered, like an entreaty. " Mary dear! I didn't love you as you deserved when you were here, but oh! I wish I had you near me now! "

As the almost incredible words left her lips, the expression on her pinched, tear‑ stained face grew suddenly transfigured, illuminated as from a sudden light within. Hope again shone in the sorrowful eyous, mingled with a purpose so rash that only her present despair could have induced her to consider it. Why, she thought, should she not write to her sister? A terrible consideration, but her only chance of succour! Upstairs, hidden in a secret corner of her bedroom, lay the letter which Mamma had given her some days before she died and which bore the address in London where Mary lived.

If she acted carefully, her father would never know; she knew, too, that Mary would never betray her, and with the renewed consciousness of her sister's love, she got up from her chair, and, as though walking in a dream, went out of the room and tiptoed silently upstairs. After a moment she returned and shutting the door, listened attentively, trembling violently in all her limbs. She had the letter, but she was terrified at what she had done, at what she proposed to do. Nevertheless she persisted in her purpose. At the table she tore out a leaf from one of her copy‑ books and hurriedly composed a short note of pathetic entreaty, telling Mary in a few words how she was situated and imploring her assistance, entreating her to come to her if she could. As she wrote, she looked up from time to time with agitated glances, as though expecting her father to enter, but soor the few scribbled lines, blotted by haste and the fall of an irrepressible

tear, were completed. She folded the ragged‑ edged sheet and thrust it in the envelope she had brought from upstairs. Then she addressed the envelope, copying each word carefully, and thrust it into the bosom of her dress; finally, with a pale face and palpitating heart, she resumed her bent position over her books and made pretence to study. But her precaution was unnecessary. No one entered the room during the whole evening. She was undiscovered and, early next morning, on her way to school, she posted the letter.

JAMES BRODIE was awakening. No sun streamed through his window to stimulate gently his recumbent figure or set the golden motes swimming through straight rivers of light across his sleep‑ filled gaze.

Instead, a cold fine rain smirred the dripping panes, dulling the interior of the room to one drab monotone and meeting his half‑ opened eyou like a melancholy reminder of his altered condition. He marked the unhappy aspect of the weather moodily, then from the window, his visible eyou, now more fully opened to reveal the sticky, white coagulum at its corner, turned to the clock, and observing that the dim hands pointed to ten minutes past eight, ten minutes beyond his appointed but unkept hour of rising, grew more gloomy. To‑ day he would, he realised, be late at the office once again, would suffer another sharp rebuke from the upstart chief clerk who now attempted to control his working hours, who had threatened even to report him to the under manager should he fail to observe a more constant punctuality.

At this reflection his face, against the lighter background of the pillow, seemed to darken, the lines that marked it deepened like sharp incisions, and the eyous, losing their innate melancholy, were filled instead by a dull, morose obstinacy. Be damned to them all, he thought, they would not order him about; he would have another five minutes in bed in spite of the whole board of directors of the Latta Shipyard! He would, of course, make up the time by omitting to shave, which struck him now, as it frequently did, as a cunning way of defeating the powers which sought to move him to their rule and pattern of life. Such a ruse as this suited him too, in his own inclination, for he was now averse to shaving in the mornings, when his unsteady hand so often behaved erratically, trying his temper to control it, and on occasions making him gash his cheek. The early hours of the day never found him at his best for not only did his hand refuse to obey him, but his head ached, or his tongue felt like dry wood, or his stomach turned within him at the mere consideration of his breakfast. It was, he was well aware, the whisky which was responsible for these unwelcome visitations, and in this grey morning's light he felt, with a gloomy insight, that he must cut down his allowance. When he had made such resolutions in the past he had never, he told himself, been really serious, but now he must definitely make up his mind to take himself in hand, to drink nothing before dinner and thereafter to abstain until the evening, when he would be moderate, when indeed, he must be moderate if he were to please Nancy, whose favour was now of such vital necessity to him. Certainly she had been better disposed towards him during the last two days, and he reflected, with a more equable turn of mind, that although she had not come back to his room since their quarrel on the night of her visit to the aunt at Overton, the obvious reason which she had

advanced in excuse must surely be correct, in view of her recent kindness and more tolerant treatment of him. He could not do without Nancy! She had become as necessary to him and as indispensable as breath to his body, and for this reason alone he must be careful how he addressed himself to the bottle in future. Impossible that he should ever live without her! She would come to him again to‑ night, the fresher for his enforced abstinence, or he would know the reason why!

Some semblance of his old complacency seemed to flow into him at this last thought and, flinging off the bedclothes, he got out of bed; but as the cold air of the room struck his body he shivered, frowned, and losing his satisfied look, reached hurriedly for his clothes, which lay in a disordered heap upon a near‑ by qhair. He struggled into these garments with the utmost dispatch, giving his face alone some transient attention with water and soap before assuming his soiled linen collar, knotting his stringy tie and throwing on his baggy coat and waistcoat. The economy in time was considerable, for the whole process of dressing had not taken five minutes, and now he was ready, albeit after a fashion, to descend the stairs and consume his morning meal.

" Good mornin' to you, Brodie, " cried Nancy agreeably, as he entered the kitchen. " You're on time all right to‑ day! How did you sleep? "

" Not so weel as I would have liked, " he replied heavily. " I was cold! Still, I've a feeling I'll be cosier to‑ night. "

" You're not blate so early in the mornin', " she answered, with a toss of her head. " Sup up your porridge and be quiet. "

He considered the porridge with pursed lips and some show of repugnance as he exclaimed:

" I don't feel like them somehow, Nancy. They're heavy on a man's stomach at breakfast time. They might do for supper but I can't think of them the now. Have you anything else? "

" I've got a nice, sweet kipper in the pan just done to a turn, " she cried complacently. " Don't eat the porridge if you're not in the mood. I'll get you the other this very minute. "

He followed her active figure, observing the swirl of her skirts, the fluent movements of her neat feet and ankles as she rushed to carry out her words, and he was filled by a sudden appreciation of the marked improvement in her attitude towards him. She was coming near to him again, no longer looking at him with that sparkle of animosity in her eyous, but was even now running after him in a fashion strangely reminiscent of his wife's eagerness to serve him. He felt the comfort of being once more looked after with this devotion, especially as it came from his beloved but independent Nancy, and when she returned with the dish, he looked at her from the corner of his eyous and remarked:

" You're drawin' round to me again, I see. I can mind of mornings when some burnt porridge was good enough to fling at a poor man for his breakfast, but this juicy kipper is more to my taste, and your way o' lookin' at me is more to my likin' still. You're fond of me, Nancy, aren't you? "

She gazed down at his tired face, lined, hollowed, disfigured by a two days' stubble of beard and split by a forced and unbefitting smile, envisaged his bowed and slovenly figure, his tremulous hands and uncared‑ for finger nails, and with a shrill little laugh, she cried:

" True enough, man! I've such a feelin' for you now that I hardly like to own it. It fair makes my heart loup when I look at you sometimes. "

His smile was extinguished, his eyous puckered intently, and he answered:

" It's a treat for me to hear you say that, Nancy! I know it's downright wrong o' me to tell you, but I can't help it, I've got to depend on you now something extraordinar'. " Then, still disregarding his breakfast, he continued almost apologetically, as though he defended his conduct, " I never would have believed I could draw to anybody so much. I didna think I was that kind o' man, but you see, I had to do without for so lang that when when we came thegither weel you've fair taken hold of me. That's pkfin truth. You're not angry at me for tellin' you a' this, are you now? "

" No! No! " she exclaimed hurriedly. " Not a bit, Brodie. I should understand you by this time. But come on now, don't waste the good kipper Pve taken the trouble to cook you. I'm wantin' to hear how you like it. And I’m anxious for you to make a good breakfast, for you'll have to take your dinner out to‑ day. "

" Take my dinner out! What for? " he exclaimed, in some surprise.

" You were away at Overton only last week you're surely not goin' to see that aunt o' yours again? "

" No, I'm not! " she cried, with a pert toss of her head, " but she's comin' to see me! And I'm not wantin' you runnin' round after me, with her, that's a decent unsuspectin' body ay, and one that's fond o' me starin' the eyous out of her heid at your palavers. You can come home in the evenin'. Then I'll be ready for you. "

He glared at her for a moment with a dark countenance, then, suddenly relaxing, he shook his head slowly. " Damnation, woman! But you have the cheek on you. To think that you've got the length o' entertain! n' your friends in my house! Gad! It makes me see how far you can go with me. I should have warmed the backside o' you for doin' a thing like that without first askin' me but you know I canna be angry with you. It seems there's no end to the liberties you'll take with me. "

" What's the harm? " she demanded primly. " Can an honest housekeeper body not see her relations if she wants to? It'll do you good to have a snack outside; then I'll have a surprise all ready for you when you come. "

He looked at her doubtfully.

" Surprise is the right word, after the way you've been treatin' me. " He paused and added grimly, " I'm damned if I know what makes me so soft wi' you. "

" Don't talk like that, Brodie, " she reprimanded mildly. " Your language is like a heathen Chinaman's sometimes. "

" What do you know about Chinamen? " he retorted moodily, at last turning his attention towards the kipper and beginning to consume it in slow, large mouthfuls. After a moment he remarked, in an altered tone, " This has a relish in it, Nancy it's the sort of thing I can fancy in the mornin's now. "

She continued to look at him in an oddly restrained fashion as he conveyoud the food to his lowered mouth, then suddenly a thought seemed to strike her, and she cried:

" Guidsakes, what am I dreamin' about! There's a letter came for you this mornin' that I forgot a' about. "

" What! " he retorted, arresting his movements and glancing up in surprise from under his thick, greying eyoubrows. " A letter for me! "

" Ay! I clean forgot in the hurry to get your breakfast. Here it is, " and she took a letter from the corner of the dresser and handed it to him. He held the letter for a moment in his outstretched hand, drew it near to him with a puzzled look in his eyous, observed that it was stamped by the postmark of London, then, carelessly inserting his thick thumb, ripped the envelope open and drew out the sheet within. Watching him with some slight interest as he read the written words, Nancy observed the expressions of bewilderment, amazement, enlightenment, and triumph sweep across his face with the rapidity of clouds traversing a dark and windy sky. Finally his expression assumed a strange satisfaction as he turned the letter, again read it slowly through, and, lifting his eyous, fixed them upon the distance.

" Would you believe it, " he muttered, " and after all this time! "

" What? " she cried. " What is it about? "

" She has climbed down and wants to come crawlin' back! " He paused, absorbed in his own considerations, as though his words had been sufficient to enlighten her fully.

" I don't know what you mean, " she exclaimed sharply. " Who are you talkin' about? "

" My daughter Mary, " he replied slowly; " the one that I kicked out of my house. I swore she would never get back until she had licked my boots, ay, and she said she never would come back, and here she is, in this very letter, cadging to win home and keep house for me. God! It's a rich recompense for me after a' these youars! " He held up the letter between his tense fingers as though his eyous would

never cease to gloat upon it, sneering as he read: " 'Let the past be forgotten! I want you to forgive me. ' If that doesna justify me my name's not Brodie. 'Since Mamma has gone I would like to come home. I am not unhappy here but sometimes lonely, ' " he continued with a snarl. " ‑ Lonely! By God, it's what she deserves. Lonely! Long may it continue. If she thinks she'll gel back here as easy as that, she's far mistaken. I'll not have her. No! Never! " He returned

his eyous to Nancy as though to demand her approval and, with twisted lips, resumed, " Don't you see how this puts me in the right, woman! She was proud, proud as you make them, but I can see she's broken now. Why else should she want home? God! What a comedown for her to have to whine to get taken back like this and and what a triumph for me to refuse her. She wants to be my housekeeper! " He laughed harshly. " That's a good one, is it no', Nancy? She doesna know that I've got you She's wantin' your job! "

She had picked the letter from his hand and was reading it.

" I don't see much of a whine here, " she replied slowly. " It's a decent enough written letter. "

" Bah! " he cried, " It's not the way it's written I'm thinkin' of! It's the meanin' of it all that concerns me. There's no other explanation possible, and the very thought of it lifts me like a dram o' rare spirits. "

" You're not goin' to let her come back, then? " she queried tentatively.

" No! " he shouted. " I'm not! I've got you to look after me now. Does she think I want the likes o' her? She can stop in this place in London that she's in, and rot there, for all I care. "

" You mustna decide in a hurry, " she admonished him; " after all, she's your own daughter. Think it over well before you do anything rash. "

He looked at her sulkily.

" Rash or not rash, I'll never forgive her, " he growled, " and that's all there is to it. " Then his eyou suddenly lighted as he exclaimed, " I tell you what might be a bawr though, Nancy and something that would cut her to the quick. Supposin' you were to write back and tell her that the post she applied for was filled. That would make her feel pretty small, would it not? Will you do't, woman? "

" No, I will not, " she cried immediately; " the very idea. You maun do it yoursel' when you're about it. "

" Well, at least you'll help me to write my answer, " he protested, " Suppose you and me do it thegether to‑ night when I come home. That smart head o' yours is sure to think on something clever for me to put in. "

" Wait till to‑ night then, " she replied, after some consideration, " and I'll think about it in the meantime. "

" That's grand, " he cried, playing in his mind with the idea of collaborating with her in the evening over this delightful task of composing a cutting reply to his daughter. " We'll lay our heads together. I know what you can do when you try. "

As he spoke a faint horn sounded in the distance, swelling and falling at times, but always audible, entering the room with gentle though relentless persistency.

" Gracious, " cried Nancy quickly, " there's the nine o'clock horn and you not out of the house yout. You'll be late as can be if you don't hurry. Come on now, away with you! "

" I'm not carin' for their blasted horns, " he replied sullenly. " I'll be late if I like. You would think I was the slave of that damned whistle the way it draws me away from you just when I'm not wantin' to go. "

" I don't want you to get the sack though, man! What would you do if you lost your job? "

" I would get a better one. I've just been thinkin' about that lately myself. What I've got is not near good enough for me. "

" Wheesht! Now, Brodie, " she conciliated him, " you're well enough as you are. You might look further and fare worse. Come on and I'll see you to the door! "

His expression softened as he looked at her and rose obediently, exclaiming:

" Don't you worry anyway, Nancy. I'll always have enough to keep you. " At the front door he turned to her and said, in a voice which sounded almost pathetic, " It'll be a' day until I see you again. "

She drew back a little and half shut the door as she replied irrelevantly:

" What a mornin', too. You should take an umbrella instead o' that auld stick. Are you minding about gettin' your dinner out to‑ day? "

" I'm mindin' about it, " he answered submissively. " You know I heed what you tell me. Come on now give us a kiss before I go. "

She was about to shut the door in his face when, at his attitude, something seemed to melt within her and, raising herself on her toes, inclining her head upwards, she touched with her lips the deep furrow that marked the centre of his forehead.

" There, " she whispered under her breath, " that's for the man that you were. "

He stared at her uncomprehcndingly with eyous that gazed at hers appealingly, inquiringly, like the eyous of a devoted dog.

" What were you say in'? " he muttered stupidly.

" Nothing, " she cried lightly, withdrawing herself again. " I was just biddin' you good‑ byou. "

He hesitated, stammered uncomfortably:

" If it was If you were thinkin' about about the drink, I want to tell you that I'm going to cut it down to something reasonable. I know you don't like me to take so much and I want to please you, woman. "

She shook her head slowly, looking at him curiously, intently.

" 'Twasna that at all. If you feel you need a dram, I suppose you maun have it. It's the only it's a comfort to you, I suppose. Now away with you, man. "

" Nancy, dear, you understand a man weel, " he murmured in a moved voice. " There's nothing I couldna do for you when you're like this. "

He shifted his feet heavily, in some embarrassment at his own outburst, then in a gruflf voice full of his suppressed feeling exclaimed,

" I'll I'll away, then, woman. Good‑ byou just now. "

" Good‑ byou, " she replied evenly.

With a last look at her eyous he turned, faced the grey and melancholy morning, and moved off into the rain, a strange figure, coatless, crowned extravagantly by the large, square hat, from under which thick tuffs of uncut hair protruded fantastically, his arms behind his back, his heavy ash plant trailing grotesquely behind him in the mud.

He walked down the road, his brain confused by conflicting thoughts amongst which mingled a sense of abashment at the unexpected exhibition of his own emotion; but, as he progressed, there emerged from this confusion a single perception the worth to him of Nancy. She was human clay like himself, and she understood him, knew the needs of a man, appreciated, as she had just remarked, that he required sometimes the comfort of a glass. He did not feel the rain as it soaked into his clothing, so enwrapped was he in the contemplation of her, and into the dullness of his set face small gleams of light from time to time appeared. As he approached the shipyard, however, his reflections grew less agreeable, evidenced by the unrelieved harshness of his countenance, and he was concerned by his lateness, by the possibility of a reprimand, and affected by a depressing realisation, which time had not eradicated, of the very humiliating nature of his employment. He thought, too, in a different light of the letter that he had just received, which appeared to him as an intolerable presumption on the part of her who had once been his daughter and which now reminded him bitterly of the past. An acrid taste came into his mouth at his own recollection whilst the salt, smoked fish which he had eaten for breakfast made him feel parched and thirsty; outside the " Fitter's Bar" he deliberately paused and, fortified by Nancy's parting remark, muttered, " Gad, but I'm dry, and I'm half an hour late as it is. I may as weel make a job o' it while I'm about it. "

He went in with a half ‑ defiant glance over his shoulder at the block of offices that lay opposite and, when he emerged, a quarter of an hour later, his bearing had regained something of its old challenging assertion. In this manner he entered the main swing doors of the offices and, threading the corridors, now with the facility of habit, entered his own room with his head well in ihe air, surveying in turn the two young clerks who looked up from their work to greet him.

" Has that auld, nosey pig been round yout? " he demanded; " because if he has, I don't give a tinker's curse about it. "

" Mr. Blair? " replied one of the pair. " No! he hasn't been round yout! "

" Humph! " cried Brodie, fiercely annoyoud at the sudden feeling of relief which had swept involuntarily over him. " I suppose you think I'm lucky. Well! Let me tell you both that I don't give a damn whether he knows I've been late or not. Tell him if you like! It's all one to me, " and, flinging his hat upon a peg and his stick into a corner, he sat heavily down upon his stool. The other clerks exchanged a glance and after a slight pause, the spokesman of the two remarked diffidently;

" We wouldn't say a word, Mr. Brodie. You surely know that, but look here, you're wringing wet will you not take your jacket off and dry it? "

" No! I'll not take it off! " he replied roughly, opening his ledger, lifting his pen and beginning to work; but after a moment he raised his head and said in a different tone, " But thank you all the same You're good lads both and I know you've lent me a hand in the past. The truth is, I've had some news that upset me, so I'm just not quite my usual this mornin'. "

They knew something of his affdirs from certain bouts of rambling dissertations during the past months and the one who had not yout spoken remarked:

" Not Nessie, I hope, Mr. Brodie? "

" No! " he answered. " Not my Nessie! She's as right as the mail, thank God, workin' like a trooper and headin' straight for the Latta! She's never given me a moment's trouble. It was just something else, but I know what to do. I can win through it like I've done with all the rest. "

They forbore to question him further and the three resumed work in a silence broken only by the scratching of pens on paper, the rustle of a turning page, the restless scrape of a stool and the mutter from Brodie's lips as he strove to concentrate his fogged brain in the effort to contend with the figures before him.

The forenoon had advanced well upon its course when a precise step sounded in the corridor outside and the door of the room opened to admit the correct figure of Mr. Blair. With a sheaf of papers in his hand he stood for a moment, adjusting his gold‑ rimmed pince‑ nez upon his elevated nose, and scrutinising at some length the three clerks now working under his severe eyous. His gaze eventually settled upon the sprawling form of Brodie from whose damp clothing the steam now rose in a warm, vaporous mist, and as he looked his glance became more disapproving; he cleared his throat warningly and strode forward, fluttering the papers in his grasp like feathers of his ruffled plumage. " Brodie, " he began sharply, " a moment of your attention, please! "

Without changing his posture Brodie lifted his head from the desk and regarded the other mordantly.

" Well, " he replied, " what is it this time? "

" You might get up when you address me, " expostulated Blair. " Every other clerk does so but you. It's most irregular and unusual. "

" I'm a kind o' unusual man, you see; that's maybe the reason o' it, " retorted Brodie slowly. " I'm just as well where I am! What is't you're wantin'? "

" These accounts, " shot out the other angrily. " Do you recognize them? If you don't, I may inform you that they represent your work or so‑ called work! Every one of them is in error. Your figures are wrong the whole way through and your total is outrageously incorrect. I'm sick of your blundering incompetence, Brodie! Unless you can explain this I shall have to report the whole matter to my superior. "