Part Two In A Nutshell 22 страница

little gift to some bride and groom, don't give them a carving set. Give them a copy of

Ideal Marriage. That book will do more to increase their happiness than all the carving

sets in the world.

[Note by Dale Carnegie: If you find Ideal Marriage too expensive, here is another book I

can recommend: A Marriage Manual, by Drs. Hannah and Abraham Stone. ]

~~~~

I Was Committing Slow Suicide Because I Didn't Know How To Relax

Paul Sampson

Direct-Mail Advertising, 12815 Sycamore, Wyandotte, Michigan

UP to six months ago, I was rushing through life in high gear. I was always tense, never

relaxed. I arrived home from work every night worried and exhausted from nervous

fatigue Why? Because no one ever said to me: " Paul, you are killing yourself. Why don't

you slow down? Why don't you relax? "

I would get up fast in the morning, eat fast, shave fast, dress fast, and drive to work as

if I were afraid the steering wheel would fly out the window if I didn't have a death grip

on it. I worked fast, hurried home, and at night I even tried to sleep fast.

I was in such a state that I went to see a famous nerve specialist in Detroit. He told me

to relax. (By the way, he gave me the same principles for relaxation that are advocated

in Chapter 24 of this book. ) He told me to think of relaxing all the time-to think about it

when I was working, driving, eating, and trying to go to sleep. He told me that I was

committing slow suicide because I didn't know how to relax.

Ever since then I have practised relaxation. When I go to bed at night, I don't try to go

to sleep until I've consciously relaxed my body and my breathing. And now I wake up in

the morning rested-a big improvement, because I used to wake up in the morning tired

and tense. I relax now when I eat and when I drive. To be sure, I am alert when driving,

but I drive with my mind now instead of my nerves. The most important place I relax is

at my work. Several times a day I stop everything and take inventory of myself to see if I

am entirely relaxed. When the phone rings now, no longer do I grab it as though

someone were trying to beat me to it; and when someone is talking to me, I'm as

relaxed as a sleeping baby.

The result? Life is much more pleasant and enjoyable; and I'm completely free of

nervous fatigue and nervous worry.

~~~~

A Real Miracle Happened To Me

Mrs. John Burger

3, 940 Colorado Avenue, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Worry had completely defeated me. My mind was so confused and troubled that I could

see no joy in living. My nerves were so strained that I could neither sleep at night nor

relax by day. My three young children were widely separated, living with relatives. My

husband, having recently returned from the armed service, was in another city trying to

establish a law practice. I felt all the insecurities and uncertainties of the postwar

readjustment period.

I was threatening my husband's career, my children's natural endowment of a happy,

normal home life, and I was also threatening my own life. My husband could find no

housing, and the only solution was to build. Everything depended on my getting well.

The more I realised this and the harder I would try, the greater would be my fear of

failure. Then I developed a fear of planning for any responsibility. I felt that I could no

longer trust myself. I felt I was a complete failure.

When all was darkest and there seemed to be no help, my mother did something for me

that I shall never forget or cease being grateful for. She shocked me into fighting back.

She upbraided me for giving in and for losing control of my nerves and my mind. She

challenged me to get up out of bed and fight for all I had. She said I was giving in to the

situation, fearing it instead of facing it, running away from life instead of living it.

So I did start fighting from that day on. That very weekend I told my parents they could

go home, because I was going to take over; and I did what seemed impossible at the

time. I was left alone to care for my two younger children. I slept well, I began to eat

better, and my spirits began to improve. A week later when they returned to visit me

again, they found me singing at my ironing. I had a sense of well-being because I had

begun to fight a battle and I was winning. I shall never forget this lesson. ... If a

situation seems insurmountable, face it! Start fighting! Don't give in!

From that time on I forced myself to work, and lost myself in my work. Finally I

gathered my children together and joined my husband in our new home. I resolved that I

would become well enough to give my lovely family a strong, happy mother. I became

engrossed with plans for our home, plans for my children, plans for my husband, plans

for everything-except for me. I became too busy to think of myself. And it was then that

the real miracle happened.

I grew stronger and stronger and could wake up with the joy of well-being, the joy of

planning for the new day ahead, the joy of living. And although days of depression did

creep in occasionally after that, especially when I was tired, I would tell myself not to

think or try to reason with myself on those days-and gradually they became fewer and

fewer and finally disappeared.

Now, a year later, I have a very happy, successful husband, a beautiful home that I can

work in sixteen hours a day, and three healthy, happy children-and for myself, peace of

mind!

~~~~

Setbacks (*)

Ferenc Molnar

Noted Hungarian Playwright " Work is the best narcotic! "

Exactly fifty years ago my father gave me the words I have lived by ever since. He was a

physician. I had just started to study law at the Budapest University. I failed one

examination. I thought I could not survive the shame so I sought escape in the

consolation of failure's closest friend, alcohol, always at hand: apricot brandy to be

exact.

My father called on me unexpectedly. Like a good doctor, he discovered both the

trouble and the bottle, in a second. I confessed why I had to escape reality.

The dear old man then and there improvised a prescription. He explained to me that

there can be no real escape in alcohol or sleeping pills-or in any drug. For any sorrow

there is only one medicine, better and more reliable than all the drugs in the world:

work!

How right my father was! Getting used to work might be hard. Sooner or later you

succeed. It has, of course, the quality of all the narcotics. It becomes habit-forming.

And once the habit is formed, sooner or later, it becomes impossible to break one's self

of it. I have never been able to break myself of the habit for fifty years.

----

[*] Reprinted with permission of the author, from Words to Live By-A Little Treasury of

Inspiration and Wisdom, published by Simon and Schuster, Inc., copyright, 1947, by

William Nichols.

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I Was So Worried I Didn't Eat A Bite Of Solid Food For Eighteen Days

Kathryne Holcombe Farmer

Sheriff's Office, Mobile, Alabama

Three months ago, I was so worried that I didn't sleep for four days and nights; and I did

not eat a bite of solid food for eighteen days. Even the smell of food made me violently

sick. I cannot find words to describe the mental anguish I endured. I wonder whether

hell has any worse tortures than what I went through. I felt as if I would go insane or

die. I knew that I couldn't possibly continue living as I was.

The turning point of my life was the day I was given an advance copy of this book.

During the last three months, I have practically lived with this book, studying every

page, desperately trying to find a new way of life. The change that has occurred in my

mental outlook and emotional stability is almost unbelievable. I am now able to endure

the battles of each passing day. I now realise that in the past, I was being driven half

mad not by today's problems but by the bitterness and anxiety over something that had

happened yesterday or that I feared might happen tomorrow.

But now, when I find myself starting to worry about anything, I immediately stop and

start to apply some of the principles I learned from studying this book. If I am tempted

to tense up over something that must be done today, I get busy and do it immediately

and get it off my mind.

When I am faced with the kind of problems that used to drive me half crazy, I now

calmly set about trying to apply the three steps outlined in Chapter 2, Part One. First, I

ask myself what is the worst that can possibly happen. Second, I try to accept it

mentally. Third, I concentrate on the problem and see how I can improve the worst

which I am already willing to accept- if I have to.

When I find myself worrying about a thing I cannot change -and do not want to accept-I

stop myself short and repeat this little prayer:

" God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference. "

Since reading this book, I am really experiencing a new and glorious way of life. I am no

longer destroying my health and happiness by anxiety. I can sleep nine hours a night

now. I enjoy my food. A veil has been lifted from me. A door has been opened. I can

now see and enjoy the beauty of the world which surrounds me. I thank God for life now

and for the privilege of living in such a wonderful world.

May I suggest that you also read this book over: keep it by your bed: underscore the

parts that apply to your problems. Study it; use it. For this is not a " reading book" in the

ordinary sense; it is written as a " guidebook" -to a new way of life!

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