Part Two In A Nutshell 6 страница

not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and

concentration.

5. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn

and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do, as William James

suggests, just for exercise.

6. Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as

possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticise not at all, nor find

fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

7. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life

problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep

them up for a lifetime.

8. Just for today I will have a programme. I will write down what I expect to do every

hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and

indecision.

9. Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour

sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.

10. Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy

what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.

If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is

Rule 1:

Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 13 - The High Cost Of Getting Even

One night, years ago, as I was travelling through Yellowstone Park, I sat with other

tourists on bleachers facing a dense growth of pine and spruce. Presently the animal

which we had been waiting to see, the terror of the forests, the grizzly bear, strode out

into the glare of the lights and began devouring the garbage that had been dumped

there from the kitchen of one of the park hotels. A forest ranger, Major Martindale, sat

on a horse and talked to the excited tourists about bears. He told us that the grizzly

bear can whip any other animal in the Western world, with the possible exception of the

buffalo and the Kadiak bear; yet I noticed that night that there was one animal, and

only one, that the grizzly permitted to come out of the forest and eat with him under

the glare of the lights: a skunk. The grizzly knew that he could liquidate a skunk with

one swipe of his mighty paw. Why didn't he do it? Because he had found from experience

that it didn't pay.

I found that out, too. As a farm boy, I trapped four-legged skunks along the hedgerows

in Missouri; and, as a man, I encountered a few two-legged skunks on the sidewalks of

New York. I have found from sad experience that it doesn't pay to stir up either variety.

When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep,

our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would

dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us and getting

even with us! Our hate is not hurting them, but our hate is turning our own days and

nights into a hellish turmoil.

Who do you suppose said this: " If selfish people try to take advantage of you, cross them

off your list, but don't try to get even. When you try to get even, you hurt yourself more

than you hurt the other fellow"? ... Those words sound as if they might have been

uttered by some starry-eyed idealist. But they weren't. Those words appeared in a

bulletin issued by the Police Department of Milwaukee.

How will trying to get even hurt you? In many ways. According to Life magazine, it may

even wreck your health. " The chief personality characteristic of persons with

hypertension [high blood pressure] is resentment, " said Life. " When resentment is

chronic, chronic hypertension and heart trouble follow. "

So you see that when Jesus said: " Love your enemies", He was not only preaching sound

ethics. He was also preaching twentieth-century medicine. When He said: " Forgive

seventy time seven", Jesus was telling you and me how to keep from having high blood

pressure, heart trouble, stomach ulcers, and many other ailments.

A friend of mine recently had a serious heart attack. Her physician put her to bed and

ordered her to refuse to get angry about anything, no matter what happened. Physicians

know that if you have a weak heart, a fit of anger can kill you. Did I say can kill you? A

fit of anger did kill a restaurant owner in Spokane, Washington, a few years ago. I have

in front of me now a letter from Jerry Swartout, chief of the Police Department,

Spokane, Washington, saying: " A few years ago, William Falkaber, a man of sixty-eight

who owned a caf6 here in Spokane, killed himself by flying into a rage because his cook

insisted on drinking coffee out of his saucer. The cafe owner was so indignant that he

grabbed a revolver and started to chase the cook and fell dead from heart failure-with

his hand still gripping the gun. The coroner's report declared that anger had caused the

heart failure. "

When Jesus said: " Love your enemies", He was also telling us how to improve our looks. I

know women-and so do you-whose faces have been wrinkled and hardened by hate and

disfigured by resentment. All the beauty treatments in Christendom won't improve their

looks half so much as would a heart full of forgiveness, tenderness, and love.

Hatred destroys our ability to enjoy even our food. The Bible puts it this way " Better is a

dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. "

Wouldn't our enemies rub their hands with glee if they knew that our hate for them was

exhausting us, making us tired and nervous, ruining our looks, giving us heart trouble,

and probably shortening our lives?

Even if we can't love our enemies, let's at least love ourselves. Let's love ourselves so

much that we won't permit our enemies to control our happiness, our health and our

looks. As Shakespeare put it:

Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot

That it do singe yourself.

When Jesus said that we should forgive our enemies " seventy times seven", He was also

preaching sound business. For example, I have before me as I write a letter I received

from George Rona, Fradegata'n 24, Uppsala, Sweden. For years, George Rona was an

attorney in Vienna; but during the Second World War, he fled to Sweden. He had no

money, needed work badly. Since he could speak and write several languages, he hoped

to get a position as correspondent for some firm engaged in importing or exporting.

Most of the firms replied that they had no need of such services because of the war, but

they would keep his name on file... and so on. One man, however, wrote George Rona

a letter saying: " What you imagine about my business is not true. You are both wrong

and foolish. I do not need any correspondent. Even if I did need one, I wouldn't hire you

because you can't even write good Swedish. Your letter is full of mistakes. "

When George Rona read that letter, he was as mad as Donald Duck. What did this Swede

mean by telling him he couldn't write the language! Why, the letter that this Swede

himself had written was full of mistakes! So George Rona wrote a letter that was

calculated to burn this man up. Then he paused. He said to himself: " Wait a minute,

now. How do I know this man isn't right? I have studied Swedish, but it's not my native

language, so maybe I do make mistakes I don't know anything about. If I do, then I

certainly have to study harder if I ever hope to get a job. This man has possibly done me

a favour, even though he didn't mean to. The mere fact that he expressed himself in

disagreeable terms doesn't alter my debt to him. Therefore, I am going to write him and

thank him for what he has done. "

So George Rona tore up the scorching letter he had already written, and wrote another

that said: " It was kind of you to go to the trouble of writing to me, especially when you

do not need a correspondent. I am sorry I was mistaken about your firm. The reason

that I wrote you was that I made inquiry and your name was given me as a leader in your

field. I did not know I had made grammatical errors in my letter. I am sorry and

ashamed of myself. I will now apply myself more diligently to the study of the Swedish

language and try to correct my mistakes. I want to thank you for helping me get started

on the road to self-improvement. "

Within a few days, George Rona got a letter from this man, asking Rona to come to see

him. Rona went-and got a job. George Rona discovered for himself that " a soft answer

turneth away wrath".

We may not be saintly enough to love our enemies, but, for the sake of our own health

and happiness, let's at least forgive them and forget them. That is the smart thing to

do. " To be wronged or robbed, " said Confucius, " is nothing unless you continue to

remember it. " I once asked General Eisenhower's son, John, if his father ever nourished

resentments. " No, " he replied, " Dad never wastes a minute thinking about people he

doesn't like. "

There is an old saying that a man is a fool who can't be angry, but a man is wise who

won't be angry.

That was the policy of William J. Gaynor, former Mayor of New York. Bitterly denounced

by the yellow press, he was shot by a maniac and almost killed. As he lay in the

hospital, fighting for his life, he said: " Every night, I forgive everything and everybody. "

Is that too idealistic? Too much sweetness and light? If so, let's turn for counsel to the

great German philosopher, Schopenhauer, author of Studies in Pessimism.

He regarded life as a futile and painful adventure. Gloom dripped from him as he

walked; yet out of the depths of his despair, Schopenhauer cried: " If possible, no

animosity should be felt for anyone. "

I once asked Bernard Baruch-the man who was the trusted adviser to six Presidents:

Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt, and Truman-whether he was ever

disturbed by the attacks of his enemies. " No man can humiliate me or disturb me, " he

replied. " I won't let him. "

No one can humiliate or disturb you and me, either-unless we let him.

But words can never hurt me.

" Throughout the ages mankind has burned its candles before those Christlike individuals

who bore no malice against their enemies. I have often stood in the Jasper National

Park, in Canada, and gazed upon one of the most beautiful mountains in the Western

world-a mountain named in honour of Edith Cavell, the British nurse who went to her

death like a saint before a German firing squad on October 12, 1915. Her crime? She had

hidden and fed and nursed wounded French and English soldiers in her Belgian home,

and had helped them escape into Holland. As the English chaplain entered her cell in

the military prison in Brussels that October morning, to prepare her for death, Edith

Cavell uttered two sentences that have been preserved in bronze and granite: " I realise

that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness toward anyone. " Four

years later, her body was removed to England and memorial services were held in

Westminster Abbey. Today, a granite statue stands opposite the National Portrait

Gallery in London-a statue of one of England's immortals. " I realise that patriotism is not

enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness toward anyone. "

One sure way to forgive and forget our enemies is to become absorbed in some cause

infinitely bigger than ourselves. Then the insults and the enmities we encounter won't

matter because we will be oblivious of everything but our cause. As an example, let's

take an intensely dramatic event that was about to take place in the pine woods of

Mississippi back in 1918. A lynching! Laurence Jones, a coloured teacher and preacher,

was about to be lynched. A few years ago, I visited the school that Laurence Jones

founded-the Piney Woods Country School-and I spoke before the student body. That

school is nationally known today, but the incident I am going to relate occurred long

before that. It occurred back in the highly emotional days of the First World War. A

rumour had spread through central Mississippi that the Germans were arousing the

Negroes and inciting them to rebellion. Laurence Jones, the man who was about to be

lynched, was, as I have already said, a Negro himself and was accused of helping to

arouse his race to insurrection. A group of white men-pausing outside the church-had

heard Laurence Jones shouting to his congregation: " Life is a battle in which every Negro

must gird on his armour and fight to survive and succeed. "

" Fight! " " Armour! " Enough! Galloping off into the night, these excited young men

recruited a mob, returned to the church, put a rope round the preacher, dragged him

for a mile up the road, stood him on a heap of faggots, lighted matches, and were ready

to hang him and burn him at the same time, when someone shouted: " Let's make the

blankety-blank-blank talk before he burns. Speech! Speech! " Laurence Jones, standing

on the faggots, spoke with a rope around his neck, spoke for his life and his cause. He

had been graduated from the University of Iowa in 1907. His sterling character, his

scholarship and his musical ability had made him popular with both the students and the

faculty. Upon graduation, he had turned down the offer of a hotel man to set him up in

business, and had turned down the offer of a wealthy man to finance his musical

education. Why? Because he was on fire with a vision. Reading the story of Booker T.

Washington's life, he had been inspired to devote his own life to educating the poverty-

stricken, illiterate members of his race. So he went to the most backward belt he could

find in the South-a spot twenty-five miles south of Jackson, Mississippi. Pawning his

watch for $1. 65, he started his school in the open woods with a stump for a desk.

Laurence Jones told these angry men who were waiting to lynch him of the struggle he

had had to educate these unschooled boys and girls and to train them to be good

farmers, mechanics, cooks, housekeepers. He told of the white men who had helped

him in his struggle to establish Piney Woods Country School-white men who had given

him land, lumber, and pigs, cows and money, to help him carry on his educational work.

When Laurence Jones was asked afterward if he didn't hate the men who had dragged

him up the road to hang him and burn him, he replied that he was too busy with his

cause to hate-too absorbed in something bigger than himself. " I have no time to

quarrel, " he said, " no time for regrets, and no man can force me to stoop low enough to

hate him. "

As Laurence Jones talked with sincere and moving eloquence as he pleaded, not for

himself but his cause, the mob began to soften. Finally, an old Confederate veteran in

the crowd said: " I believe this boy is telling the truth. I know the white men whose

names he has mentioned. He is doing a fine work. We have made a mistake. We ought

to help him instead of hang him. " The Confederate veteran passed his hat through the

crowd and raised a gift of fifty-two dollars and forty cents from the very men who had

gathered there to hang the founder of Piney Woods Country School-the man who said: " I

have no time to quarrel, no time for regrets, and no man can force me to stoop low

enough to hate him. "

Epictetus pointed out nineteen centuries ago that we reap what we sow and that

somehow fate almost always makes us pay for our malefactions. " In the long run, " said

Epictetus, " every man will pay the penalty for his own misdeeds. The man who

remembers this will be angry with no one, indignant with no one, revile no one, blame

no one, offend no one, hate no one. "

Probably no other man in American history was ever more denounced and hated and

double-crossed than Lincoln. Yet Lincoln, according to Herndon's classic biography,

" never judged men by his like or dislike for them. If any given act was to be performed,

he could understand that his enemy could do it just as well as anyone. If a man had

maligned him or been guilty of personal ill-treatment, and was the fittest man for the

place, Lincoln would give him that place, just as soon as he would give it to a friend. ...

I do not think he ever removed a man because he was his enemy or because he disliked

him. "

Lincoln was denounced and insulted by some of the very men he had appointed to

positions of high power-men like McClellan, Seward, Stanton, and Chase. Yet Lincoln

believed, according to Herndon, his law partner, that " No man was to be eulogised for

what he did; or censured for what he did or did not do, " because " all of us are the

children of conditions, of circumstances, of environment, of education, of acquired

habits and of heredity moulding men as they are and will for ever be. "

Perhaps Lincoln was right. If you and I had inherited the same physical, mental, and

emotional characteristics that our enemies have inherited, and if life had done to us

what it has done to them, we would act exactly as they do. We couldn't possibly do

anything else. As Clarence Darrow used to say: " To know all is to understand all, and this

leaves no room for judgment and condemnation. " So instead of hating our enemies, let's

pity them and thank God that life has not made us what they are. Instead of heaping

condemnation and revenge upon our enemies, let's give them our understanding, our

sympathy, our help, our forgiveness, and our prayers. "

I was brought up in a family which read the Scriptures or repeated a verse from the

Bible each night and then knelt down and said " family prayers". I can still hear my

father, in a lonely Missouri farmhouse, repeating those words of Jesus- words that will

continue to be repeated as long as man cherishes his ideals: " Love your enemies, bless

them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which

despitefully use you, and persecute you. "

My father tried to live those words of Jesus; and they gave him an inner peace that the

To cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness, remember that

Rule 2 is:

Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far

more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a

minute thinking about people we don't like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 14 - If You Do This, You Will Never Worry About Ingratitude

I recently met a business man in Texas who was burned up with indignation. I was

warned that he would tell me about it within fifteen minutes after I met him. He did.

The incident he was angry about had occurred eleven months previously, but he was still

burned up about it. He couldn't speak of anything else. He had given his thirty-four

employees ten thousand dollars in Christmas bonuses-approximately three hundred

dollars each-and no one had thanked him. " I am sorry, " he complained bitterly, " that I

ever gave them a penny! "

" An angry man, " said Confucius, " is always full of poison. " This man was so full of poison

that I honestly pitied him. He was about sixty years old. Now, life-insurance companies

figure that, on the average, we will live slightly more than two-thirds of the difference

between our present age and eighty. So this man-if he was lucky-probably had about

fourteen or fifteen years to live. Yet he had already wasted almost one of his few

remaining years by his bitterness and resentment over an event that was past and gone.

I pitied him.

Instead of wallowing in resentment and self-pity, he might have asked himself why he

didn't get any appreciation. Maybe he had underpaid and overworked his employees.

Maybe they considered a Christmas bonus not a gift, but something they had earned.

Maybe he was so critical and unapproachable that no one dared or cared to thank him.

Maybe they felt he gave the bonus because most of the profits were going for taxes,

anyway.

On the other hand, maybe the employees were selfish, mean, and ill-mannered. Maybe

this. Maybe that. I don't know any more about it than you do. But I do know what Dr.

Samuel Johnson said: " Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find it among

gross people. "

Here is the point I am trying to make: this man made the human and distressing mistake

of expecting gratitude. He just didn't know human nature.

If you saved a man's life, would you expect him to be grateful? You might-but Samuel

Leibowitz, who was a famous criminal lawyer before he became a judge, saved seventy-

eight men from going to the electric chair! How many of these men, do you suppose,

stopped to thank Samuel Leibowitz, or ever took the trouble to send him a Christmas

card? How many? Guess. ... That's right-none.

Christ healed ten lepers in one afternoon-but how many of those lepers even stopped to

thank Him? Only one. Look it up in Saint Luke. When Christ turned around to His

disciples and asked: " Where are the other nine? " they had all run away. Disappeared

without thanks! Let me ask you a question: Why should you and I-or this business man in

Texas-expect more thanks for our small favours than was given Jesus Christ?

And when it comes to money matters! Well, that is even more hopeless. Charles Schwab

told me that he had once saved a bank cashier who had speculated in the stock market

with funds belonging to the bank. Schwab put up the money to save this man from going

to the penitentiary. Was the cashier grateful? Oh, yes, for a little while. Then he turned

against Schwab and reviled him and denounced him-the very man who had kept him out

of jail!

If you gave one of your relatives a million dollars, would you expect him to be grateful?

Andrew Carnegie did just that. But if Andrew Carnegie had come back from the grave a

little while later, he would have been shocked to find this relative cursing him! Why?

Because Old Andy had left 365 million dollars to public charities-and had " cut him off

with one measly million, " as he put it.

That's how it goes. Human nature has always been human nature-and it probably won't

change in your lifetime. So why not accept it? Why not be as realistic about it as was old

Marcus Aurelius, one of the wisest men who ever ruled the Roman Empire. He wrote in

his diary one day: " I am going to meet people today who talk too much-people who are

selfish, egotistical, ungrateful. But I won't be surprised or disturbed, for I couldn't

imagine a world without such people. " That makes sense, doesn't it? If you and I go

around grumbling about ingratitude, who is to blame? Is it human nature-or is it our

ignorance of human nature? Let's not expect gratitude. Then, if we get some

occasionally, it will come as a delightful surprise. If we don't get it, we won't be

disturbed.

Here is the first point I am trying to make in this chapter: It is natural for people to

forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight

for a lot of heartaches.

I know a woman in New York who is always complaining because she is lonely. Not one

of her relatives wants to go near her-and no wonder. If you visit her, she will tell you for

hours what she did for her nieces when they were children: she nursed them through

the measles and the mumps and the whooping-cough; she boarded them for years; she

helped to send one of them through business school, and she made a home for the other

until she got married.

Do the nieces come to see her? Oh, yes, now and then, out of a spirit of duty. But they

dread these visits. They know they will have to sit and listen for hours to half-veiled

reproaches. They will be treated to an endless litany of bitter complaints and self-

pitying sighs. And when this woman can no longer bludgeon, browbeat, or bully her

nieces into coming to see her, she has one of her " spells". She develops a heart attack.

Is the heart attack real? Oh, yes. The doctors say she has " a nervous heart", suffers from

palpitations. But the doctors also say they can do nothing for her-her trouble is

emotional.

What this woman really wants is love and attention. But she calls it " gratitude". And she

will never get gratitude or love, because she demands it. She thinks it's her due.

There are thousands of women like her, women who are ill from " ingratitude",

loneliness, and neglect. They long to be loved; but the only way in this world that they

can ever hope to be loved is to stop asking for it and to start pouring out love without