Chapter 64

You knew. ” Mab threw Beth back against the wall. The rage was choking her, rising in her throat.

“Mab—” Beth tried to fend her off, but Mab was head and shoulders taller, fueled by fury. She banged Beth into the mirror, setting it rocking, and Boots leaped out of his basket barking. Then Osla seized Mab by the shoulders and wrenched her away.

“Mab, stop. What’s this about? ”

Beth hunched frozen, arms about herself, Boots pressed to her ankles. Mab stood on the hooked rug, shuddering with anger. Osla poised between them, tiny and determined. For once, Mab felt no tangled confusion of anger and pain, looking at Osla. In Coventry, Osla had made a mistake—that mistake had let Lucy slip into the void, and Francis after her, but it had been a mistake.

Beth had made a choice.

“Tell her, ” Mab rasped, looking at Beth. “Tell her about Coventry. ”

“I don’t have time for this, ” Beth begged, hands twisting. “I have to get to BP. ”

She made a move toward the corridor. Mab crossed to the bedroom door, slamming it shut and standing before it. “What is happening here? ” Osla demanded.

Mab waited, but Beth stayed silent, huddled in on herself. “I was told Beth broke a report about the Coventry raid. The one that killed—” She couldn’t force the names out. “She knew the attack was coming, hours before you and I left to meet Francis there with Lucy. She let us go without a word. ”

The accusation sank into the room like a stone in a pool, spreading ripples.

“Beth wouldn’t—” Osla said, at the same time Beth whispered, “How did you find out? ”

“Your friend Peggy, why does it matter? Is it true? ”

Beth’s head jerked up. “If I’d told you it would have compromised—”

“No, it wouldn’t! ” Mab cried. “We said goodbye to you at the BP canteen that same morning—no civilians in earshot, safe Park ground. You didn’t have to give details. All you had to say was ‘Please trust me and call off the visit. ’” Mab would have telephoned Francis, asked him to meet them elsewhere. He’d be alive today. Lucy would be alive.

“I couldn’t tell you, ” Beth repeated, pleading. “How could I put you ahead of everyone at Coventry who would have to sit the raid out, unknowing? ”

“Because in a war, Beth, you save who you can. Whenever you can. You couldn’t have safely warned Coventry, but you could have safely warned us. ”

“And you’ve done that before. ” Osla’s voice was very quiet. “Autumn of ’Forty, you let us know when the German invasion was postponed. ”

Beth flinched. “That’s why! I told you about the invasion, and I shouldn’t have. I swore I wouldn’t ever do it again. Besides, that’s different—you knowing the invasion was canceled changed nothing. But if you knew about Coventry, you’d tell Francis not to come, then he might tell his neighbor, they might warn someone else, then before you know it—”

“We wouldn’t have done that, Beth. Because we’d have lied to Francis. We lie to everyone—just not each other. ” Osla was arrayed beside Mab now, arms folded like a shield. “Our knowing would have changed nothing, except that Francis and Lucy would still be alive. ”

“I didn’t know that. I just hoped it would all turn out all right—”

“And my daughter died, ” Mab spat. Perhaps she was being unfair to Beth, who had only tried to keep faith with an uncompromising oath. Even in the scarlet rush of rage, Mab knew that. But she didn’t care. Beth had made a choice, and Mab’s daughter was dead. Her husband was dead.

Beth was shaking her head stubbornly. “I took an oath. ”

“You expect us to break our oaths when it’s convenient to you. ” Osla’s ivory complexion had gone red. Mab realized, distantly, that she’d never seen Osla Kendall furious before. “You were just begging me to give you information on the Fleet Air Arm, because of Harry, and I did it. ”

Beth’s lips parted, but she didn’t say anything.

“You sad little hypocrite, ” Osla said.

“I shouldn’t have asked you. ” Beth’s eyes were locked on the floor. “You should have told me no. ”

“I did it because our oath isn’t as black and white as you’re making it out to be, and we’ve all worked at BP long enough to know it. There are ways to share discreetly without ever, ever compromising secrecy. ”

“I couldn’t think of a way—”

“You could have. But you didn’t try. You told yourself it would be all right. And when it all went to hell, you still let me keep calling you a friend. ” Mab shivered with rage, thinking how much she had relied on Beth this past year. Trusted Beth, while blaming Osla.

“It was one raid! ” Beth’s voice rose. “Should I have warned you every time there was a raid over London, when you two were hopping up there every night you had free? ”

“Everyone who goes to London knows it’s a risk, ” Mab snapped. “London, Birmingham, Liverpool—they’re constantly targeted; everyone who reads a newspaper knows that. You go to little places like Keswick or Coventry to be safe. You know we thought we were safe there—”

“You shouldn’t have. You went to enough places that had been hit before. It finally happened and you’re blaming me because you rolled the dice and lost. Coventry had been hit so badly already—”

“But no one anticipated it being targeted again. Not another big raid like that. . . ”

Beth’s hands twisted around each other. “I couldn’t do it. ”

Mab lunged at Beth, or would have if Osla hadn’t shoved her back. Mab inflated her lungs to shout, Boots circled barking and growling before his mistress—then a knock at the door froze them.

“Girls? ” Their landlady’s voice floated through. “Bletchley Park’s transport pool sent a car for Miss Kendall and Mrs. Gray—it’s waiting out front. You’re being called in at once. ” Pause. “Is everything all right? ”

“Quite all right, ” Osla called. Mab thought her voice scraped like a handful of pebbles.

They listened as their landlady’s footsteps pattered away. Osla and Mab looked at each other, then at Beth.

“Let’s go, ” Mab said. “I don’t think there’s anything more to say here. ”

Beth’s lips trembled. “I’ve done nothing but what I thought was best. ”

“That’s right. You did nothing, you Judas bitch. ” Mab yanked the door open. “Are you coming with us in the damned car or not? ” Because even if she would rather have run Beth over than share a backseat with her, Bletchley Park was going to need her today.

But Beth sank down on the bed, laughing on a note that sawed across Mab’s ears like nails. She was laughing but she was crying too, hands pressed to her temples, head shaking back and forth. Boots whined again, but she ignored the dog. “You have no idea, ” she said between the bubbles of laughter, as tears dripped down her chin. “No idea what’s happening, none, none. My God. Dilly, why did you go, why did you have to go. . . ”

“Girls, ” their landlady called from downstairs. “The car—”

They waited a moment, but Beth kept rocking, crying, bubbling with that strange bleak laughter. And finally, Mab and Osla had to leave her behind.

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