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“All the apartments that aren’t for sale. ”

 

Zara’s fingers fumbled around her neck. It wasn’t an entirely ridiculous answer, which obviously annoyed her. Why couldn’t Lennart have the decency to be a complete idiot? An idiot who is also a romantic is almost unbearable, and that “almost” can drive a woman with headphones mad.

So she remained silent, gazing off toward the bridge. Then she let out a resigned sigh and pulled two cigarettes out from her bag. She stuck one in the rabbit’s snout and the other in her own mouth. The rabbit was smart enough not to start going on about her earlier claim that she didn’t smoke. She appreciated that. When she gave him the lighter he managed to singe the fur on his nose and had to pat the flames out with his hands. She appreciated that as well.

They smoked without any sense of urgency. Then Lennart said, heavily but with no trace of accusation, as he looked out across the rooftops: “You can think what you like about me, but Anna-Lena is one of the few clients I’ve got who I… can’t help rooting for. She doesn’t want to make her husband rich, she just wants to make him feel needed. Everyone takes it for granted that she’s submissive and oppressed and that she’s always had to stand back and make sacrifices for his career, but do you know what job she used to do? ”

“No, ” Zara confessed.

“She was a senior analyst for a big American industrial company. I didn’t believe it at first, because she’s as scatty as a box of kittens… but you won’t find a smarter, better-educated person in this apartment, I can assure you of that. When their kids were young his career started to take off, but hers was going even better, so Roger turned down a promotion so he could spend more time at home with the children, and she could go on all her business trips. It was only going to be for a few years, but her career started to go even better while his was treading water, and the more difference there was between their salaries, the harder it was for them to swap places. When the kids had grown up and Anna-Lena had accomplished all her goals, she turned to Roger and said ‘Now it’s your turn. ’ But he wasn’t offered any more promotions. He’d got too old. They didn’t have any way of talking about that, because they’d never practiced the right words. So now she’s trying to make it up to him by moving all the time and renovating apartments, all so they have… a project in common. Roger has no kids to look after anymore, so he feels worthless. And Anna-Lena just wants a home. You can say a lot of things about me, but don’t you dare insinuate that I’m not rooting for those two. ”

Zara lit another cigarette, mostly so she could keep her eyes busy staring at the glowing tip.

“Did Anna-Lena tell you all that? ”

“You’d be surprised what people tell me. ”

“No I wouldn’t, ” Zara whispered.

She felt like telling him that she needs distance. That she can’t stop massaging her hands. That she counts everything in every room because it calms her down. That she likes spreadsheets and turnover forecasts because she likes order. But she also felt like telling him that the economic system she has devoted her life to working in is the world’s biggest problem right now, because we made the system too strong. We forgot how greedy we are, but above all we forgot how weak we are. And now it’s crushing us.

She felt like saying all this, but by this point in her life she had gotten used to the fact that people either didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand. So she stood there in silence. And, deep down, wished she’d stayed silent the whole time.

They each smoked another cigarette. Zara objected to his presence less than she would have expected, and that day had already offered more new experiences than she felt ready to absorb, so her fingers immediately started to trace the edges of the headphones when the rabbit’s ears wavered in her direction again. She could tell that he was trying to think of something to ask her, to keep the conversation going. That was what annoyed Zara most about men. Because they could only ever come up with two questions: “What line of work are you in? ” and “Are you married? ”

 

But this peculiar Lennart plucked up the courage to ask instead: “What are you listening to? ”

 

Bloody hell, Zara thought. Why can’t you just feel the cold and not be interested in me? She opened her mouth, there was so much she wanted to say, but all that came out was: “The bank robber’s going to give up soon. The police will come storming in any time now. You should go and put a pair of pants on. ”

The rabbit nodded disappointedly. He left her with her headphones on, music at top volume, counting the windows over and over again. It may not be the sort of love story anyone would write poetry about. But they floored each other there and then.

 

 

Estelle knocked tentatively on the door to the closet. Julia opened it.

“I just wanted to let you know that the pizzas are on their way, but I was thinking that you must be starving, eating for two, you poor thing. Would you like something to eat while we’re waiting? There’s food in the freezer. I mean, people almost always have food in the freezer, ” Estelle offered.

“No, thanks, that’s sweet of you but I’m fine, ” Julia smiled. She liked the fact that Estelle was concerned, more people should do that, ask if you’re hungry instead of how you’re feeling.

“Well, then, I won’t disturb you, ” Estelle said, and started to close the door.

“Would you like to come in? ” Julia asked, but to be honest she said it the way you do when you kind of hope the answer’s going to be no.

“I’d love to! ” Estelle chirruped, then stepped in and closed the door behind her. She pushed past the stepladder and sat down on the last available seat in the closet: a chest, tucked right at the back. She folded her hands on her lap, smiled warmly, and said: “Well, this is all rather nice, really, isn’t it? I haven’t eaten pizza for years. Of course I’d have to admit that this whole business of the bank robbery and hostage taking hasn’t been particularly pleasant for any of us, but I can’t help thinking that it’s quite encouraging that we’ve got a female bank robber. Don’t you think? It’s good when us girls show what we’re capable of! ”

Julia put her thumb on a specific point right between her eyes, pressed hard, and managed to control herself enough to reply: “Hmm. Threatening us with a pistol, but still… Girl power! ”

“I don’t think it’s a real pistol! ” Anna-Lena interjected quickly.

Julia closed her eyes so no one would see she was rolling them. Estelle smiled quizzically and asked: “Well, I didn’t mean to come in and interrupt you like this, like some silly old thing. What were you talking about? ”

“Marriage, ” Anna-Lena sniffed.

“Oh! ” Estelle exclaimed, as if her favorite category had just popped up on a television quiz show.

Her enthusiasm softened Julia’s attitude slightly, so she asked her: “Did you say your husband’s name is Knut? How long have you been married? ”

Estelle counted in her head until she ran out of numbers. “Knut and I have been married forever. It’s like that when you get old. In the end there simply wasn’t ever a time before him. ”

Julia had to admit that she liked that answer.

“How do you manage to have such a long marriage? ” she asked.

“You fight for it, ” Estelle replied honestly.

Julia didn’t seem to like that quite as much.

“That doesn’t sound very romantic. ”

Estelle grinned knowingly.

“You have to listen to each other all the time. But not all the time. If you listen to each other all the time, there’s a risk that you can’t forgive each other afterward. ”

Julia ran her fingernails unhappily across her eyebrows.

“Ro and I used to get along fine. We got along so well that it didn’t matter that we were good at falling out, too. Sometimes I used to fall out with her on purpose, because we were so good at… the other bit. But now, oh, I don’t know. I’m just not quite so sure about us anymore. ”

Estelle toyed with her wedding ring and moistened her lips thoughtfully.

“When we first fell in love, Knut and I reached an agreement about how we were allowed to argue, because Knut said that sooner or later the first flush of infatuation wears off and you end up arguing whether you like it or not. So we came to an agreement, like the Geneva Convention, where the rules of war were agreed. Knut and I promised that no matter how angry we got, we weren’t allowed to consciously say things just to hurt each other. We weren’t allowed to argue just for the sake of winning. Because, sooner or later, that would end up with one of us winning. And no marriage can survive that. ”

“Did it work? ” Julia asked.

“I don’t know, ” Estelle admitted.

“No? ”

“We never got past the first flush of infatuation. ”

There was no point even trying not to like her just then. Estelle looked around the closet for a while, as if she were trying to remember something, then she stood up and lifted the lid of the chest.

“What are you doing? ” Julia wondered.

“Just having a look, ” Estelle said apologetically.

Anna-Lena found this upsetting, because Anna-Lena thought there were actually unwritten rules about how much snooping you were allowed to do at apartment viewings.

“You can’t do that! You’re only allowed to look in cupboards if they’re already open! Except for kitchen cupboards. You’re allowed to open kitchen cupboards, but only for a few seconds, to see how big they are, but you’re not allowed to touch the contents or make any judgments about their lifestyle. There are… there are rules! You’re allowed to open the dishwasher, but not the washing machine! ”

“You might have been to a few toooo many apartment viewings…, ” Julia said to her.

“I know, ” Anna-Lena sighed.

“There’s wine in here! ” Estelle exclaimed happily, pulling two bottles out of the chest. “And a corkscrew! ”

“Wine? ” Anna-Lena repeated, suddenly delighted, so it was evidently okay to snoop inside chests if you found wine.

“Would you like some? ” Estelle offered.

“I’m pregnant, ” Julia pointed out.

“Aren’t you allowed to drink wine, then? ”

“You’re not allowed to drink any alcohol at all. ”

“But… wine? ”

Estelle’s eyes were wide with benevolent intent. Because wine is only grapes, after all. And children like grapes.

“Wine, too, ” Julia said patiently, and thought of how Ro had said “All the time! I’m drinking for three now! ” when the midwife at the antenatal clinic asked a routine question about how much they drank. The midwife didn’t realize Ro was joking, and the atmosphere became tense. Julia laughed as she thought about it now. That happens quite a lot when you’re married to an idiot.

“Have I done something wrong? ” Estelle wondered anxiously, drinking straight from the bottle before passing it to Anna-Lena, who didn’t hesitate before taking two long swigs, which seemed highly out of character for Anna-Lena. It was a strange day for all of them.

“No, not at all, I was just thinking about something my wife did, ” Julia smiled, and tried to stop laughing, with mixed results.

“Julia’s wife is an idiot! Just like Roger! ” Anna-Lena explained helpfully to Estelle, and drank another swig, this time larger than the space in her mouth, which prompted a fit of coughing through her nose. Julia leaned forward and patted Anna-Lena on the back. Estelle helpfully took the bottle from her and made it a bit lighter in the meantime. Then she said quietly: “Knut isn’t an idiot. He really isn’t. But it’s taking him an awfully long time to park the car. I wish he was here, so I… well, I just wasn’t prepared to be held hostage on my own. ”

Julia smiled.

“You’re not on your own, you’ve got us. And this bank robber doesn’t seem to want to hurt anyone, so I’m sure everything’s going to be all right. But… can I ask you something? ”

“Of course you can, sweetheart. ”

“Did you know there was going to be wine in that chest? If you didn’t, why did you decide to have a look? ”

Estelle blushed. After a long pause, she confessed: “I usually hide wine in the closet at home. Knut used to think that was silly. I mean, he thinks it’s silly. But you assume people think the way you do yourself, so I was thinking that if the person living here was worried about people coming and seeing bottles of wine and thinking ‘Well, this person’s an alcoholic, ’ then the closet would be the perfect place to hide the wine. ”

Anna-Lena took another two gulps of wine, hiccupped loudly, and added: “Alcoholics don’t have unopened bottles of wine in the house. They have empty wine bottles. ”

Estelle nodded at her gratefully, and replied without thinking: “That’s kind of you to say. Knut would have agreed with you. ”

The old woman’s eyes were glistening, not only from the wine. Julia frowned so hard and so thoughtfully that she got a whole new hairstyle. She leaned forward, put her hand gently on Estelle’s arm, and whispered: “Estelle? Knut isn’t parking the car, is he? ”

Estelle’s thin lips disappeared sadly beneath each other, so the word barely reached past them when she eventually admitted:

“No. ”

 

 

Witness Interview

Date: December 30

Name of witness: Lennart

JACK: Let me see if I’ve got this right: you weren’t at the viewing as a prospective buyer, but had been hired by Anna-Lena to spoil it?

LENNART: Exactly. No Boundaries Lennart, that’s me. Would you like a business card? I do stag parties, too—if the guy getting married has stolen your girl, that sort of thing.

JACK: So that’s your job? To ruin apartment viewings?

LENNART: No, I’m an actor. There just aren’t many roles around at the moment. But I was in The Merchant from Venice at the local theater.

JACK: Of Venice.

LENNART: No, at the local theater here!

JACK: I meant that it’s called The Merchant of Venice. Not from Venice. Never mind. Can you tell me anything else about the bank robber?

LENNART: I don’t think so. I’ve told you everything I remember.

JACK: Okay. Well, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to stay a little longer, in case we have any further questions.

LENNART: No problem!

JACK: Oh, yes, one last thing: What do you know about the fireworks?

LENNART: How do you mean?

JACK: The fireworks the perpetrator asked for.

LENNART: What about them?

JACK: Well, when someone takes other people hostage, it isn’t customary for the perpetrator to demand fireworks before letting them go. It’s more normal to demand money.

LENNART: With all due respect, it’s more normal not to take anyone hostage in the first place.

JACK: That’s as may be, but don’t you think fireworks is an odd demand? That was the last thing the perpetrator did before you were released.

LENNART: I don’t know. It’s New Year. And everyone likes fireworks, don’t they?

JACK: Dog owners don’t.

LENNART: Ah.

JACK: What do you mean by that?

LENNART: I was just surprised. I thought all police officers liked dogs.

JACK: I didn’t say I didn’t like dogs!

LENNART: Most people would have said that dogs don’t like fireworks. But you said dog owners.

JACK: I’m not particularly fond of animals.

LENNART: Sorry. A peril of the profession. You learn to read people in my job.

JACK: As an actor?

LENNART: No, the other. Are the others still here at the station, by the way?

JACK: Who?

LENNART: You know, the others who were in the apartment.

JACK: Are you thinking of anyone in particular?

LENNART: Zara. For instance.

JACK: For instance?

LENNART: There’s no need to look like I asked something improper. I mean, I’m only asking.

JACK: Yes. Zara’s still here. Why do you ask?

LENNART: Oh, just wondered. You get curious about people sometimes, that’s all, and she’s the first person in a long time who I haven’t been able to read at all. I tried, but I didn’t get her at all. Why are you laughing?

JACK: I’m not laughing.

LENNART: Yes you are!

JACK: Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Something my dad says, that’s all.

LENNART: What?

JACK: He says you end up marrying the one you don’t understand. Then you spend the rest of your life trying.

 

 

“Death, death, death, ” Estelle thought in the closet. Many years ago she had read that her favorite author used to start telephone conversations with that. “Death, death, death. ” Then, when that was out of the way, they could discuss other things. Otherwise, after a certain age, no phone call ever seemed to be about life, only the other. Estelle could understand that point of view these days. The same author once wrote that “you have to live your life in such a way that you become friends with death, ” but Estelle found that harder. She remembered when she used to read bedtime stories to the children, and Peter Pan declaring: “To die will be an awfully big adventure. ” Maybe for the person doing it, Estelle thought, but not for the one who was left behind. All that awaited her were a thousand sunrises where life is a beautiful prison. Her cheeks quivered, reminding her that she had grown old, her skin was so thin now that it moved the whole time in a breeze that nobody else could feel. She had nothing against old age, just loneliness. When she met Knut it wasn’t a love story, not the way she had read it could feel, theirs was always more like a story of a child finding the perfect playmate. When Knut touched Estelle, right up to the end, it made her feel like climbing trees and jumping from jetties. Most of all she missed making him laugh so hard he spat his breakfast out. That sort of thing only got more fun with age, especially after he got false teeth.

“Knut’s dead, ” she said for the first time, and swallowed hard.

 

Julia was looking down at the floor in irresolute silence. Anna-Lena sat and tried to think of something to say for a while, then leaned toward Estelle and tapped her on the shoulder with the wine bottle instead. Estelle took it and drank two small sips, before handing it back and going on, half to herself: “But he was very good at parking, Knut. He could parallel park in tiny spaces. So sometimes, when it’s most painful, when I see something really funny and think ‘He’d have laughed so hard his breakfast would have covered the wallpaper’—that’s when I fantasize that he’s just outside, parking the car. He wasn’t perfect, no man is, God knows, but whenever we went anywhere and it was raining, he would always drop me off just outside the door. So I could wait in the warm while he… parked the car. ”

A silence forced its way between the three women, and gradually emptied their vocabularies until none of them knew what to say at all. Death, death, death, Estelle thought.

When Knut was lying in his sickbed those last nights, she asked him: “Are you scared? ” He replied: “Yes. ” Then his fingers ran through her hair and he added: “But it’ll be quite nice to get a bit of peace and quiet. You can put that on the headstone. ” Estelle laughed hard at that. When he left her she wept so hard that she couldn’t breathe. Her body was never really the same after that, she curled up and never quite unfurled again.

“He was my echo. Everything I do is quieter now, ” she said to the other women in the closet.

Anna-Lena sat for a while before she opened her mouth, because, although she was starting to get drunk, she understood that it wouldn’t be good form in the circumstances to appear greedy. They were wasted seconds, of course, because when she spoke the thought out loud, neither good intentions nor wild horses could hide the hopefulness in her voice.

“So… if your husband isn’t parking the car, can I ask if it was true that you’re looking at this apartment on behalf of your daughter, or was that…”

“No, no, my daughter lives in a nice row house with her husband and children, ” Estelle replied sheepishly.

Just outside Stockholm, in fact, but Estelle didn’t say that, because she didn’t think this conversation needed to get any more complicated.

“So you’re just here… looking? ” Anna-Lena asked.

“Seriously, Anna-Lena, she’s not competing with you and Roger to buy the apartment! Stop being so insensitive! ” Julia snapped.

Anna-Lena stared down into the bottle and mumbled: “I was only asking. ”

Estelle patted them both gratefully on the arm, one at a time, and whispered: “Now don’t fall out on my account, dears. I’m too old to be worth that. ”

Julia nodded sullenly and put her hand around her stomach. Anna-Lena did the same with the wine bottle.

“How old are your grandchildren? ” she asked.

“They’re teenagers now, ” Estelle said.

“Oh, sorry to hear that, ” Anna-Lena said with feeling.

Estelle smiled feebly. If you’ve lived with teenagers, you know they only exist for themselves, and their parents have their hands full dealing with the various horrors of life. Both the teenagers’ and their own. There was no place for Estelle there, she was mostly something of a nuisance. They were pleased that she answered the phone when they called on her birthday, but the rest of the time they assumed time stood still for her. She was a nice ornament that they only took out at Christmas and Midsummer.

“No… I’m not here to buy the apartment. I just haven’t got anything to do. Sometimes I go to apartment viewings out of curiosity, to listen to people talking, hear what they’re dreaming about. People’s dreams are always at their grandest when they’re looking for somewhere to live. Knut died slowly, you know. He lay in a care home for years, I couldn’t start living as if he was dead, but he… he wasn’t alive. Not really. So my life was on pause, somehow. I took the bus to the care home each day and sat with him. Read books. Out loud at first, then to myself at the end. That’s how it goes. But it was something to do. And a person needs that. ”

Anna-Lena thought that yes, that was how it was, people needed to have a project.

“Life goes so fast. Working life, anyway, ” she thought out loud, and looked very taken aback when she realized that Julia had heard her.

“What did you used to do? ” the young woman asked.

Anna-Lena filled her lungs, simultaneously hesitant and proud.

“I was an analyst for an industrial company. Well, I suppose I was the senior analyst, really, but I did my best not to be. ”

“Senior analyst? ” Julia repeated, instantly ashamed of how that sounded.

Anna-Lena saw the surprise in her eyes, but she was used to it and didn’t take offense. Ordinarily she would just have changed the subject, but perhaps the wine had the upper hand on this occasion, because instead she thought out loud, without any hesitation: “Yes, I was. Not that I wanted that. To be a boss, I mean. The president of the company said that was precisely why he wanted me to do it. He said you don’t have to lead by telling other people what to do, you can lead by just letting them do what they’re capable of instead. So I tried to be a teacher more than a boss. I know people find it hard to believe of me, but I’m not a bad teacher. When I retired, two of my staff said they hadn’t realized I was actually their boss until they heard the speech thanking me for my work. A lot of people would probably have taken that as an insult, but I thought it was… nice. If you can do something for someone in such a way that they think they managed it all on their own, then you’ve done a good job. ”

Julia smiled.

“You’re full of surprises, Anna-Lena. ”

Anna-Lena looked like that was the nicest compliment anyone had ever given her. Then sorrow and grief swept through her eyes again, she closed them quickly and opened them slowly.

“Everyone thinks I’ve… well, when you meet us, people probably think I’ve always been in Roger’s shadow. That really isn’t the case. Roger should have had a chance to fulfill his potential. He had great potential. But my job… things were going so well for me, better and better, so he turned down promotions so he could drop the kids off at nursery and all that. I got to travel and have my career, always thinking that it would be his turn next year. But that never happened. ”

She fell silent. For once, Julia wasn’t sure what to say. Estelle looked like she didn’t know what to do with her hands, which resulted in her opening the chest and sticking them in there again. They came back out with a box of matches and a packet of cigarettes.

“Goodness, ” she exclaimed brightly.

“What sort of person lives here, really? ” Julia wondered.

“Would anyone like one? ” Estelle offered.

“I don’t smoke! ” Anna-Lena declared immediately.

“Nor me. Or rather, I’ve given up. Most of the time. Do you smoke? ” Estelle wondered, turning to Julia, then added quickly: “Well, I don’t suppose anyone does when they’re pregnant. In my day they used to. You used to cut back a bit, of course. But I’m assuming you don’t smoke at all? ”

“No, not at all, ” Julia said patiently.

“Young people today. You’re so aware of how you affect your children. I heard a pediatric doctor say on television that a generation ago, parents used to come to him and say ‘Our child’s wetting the bed, what’s wrong with him? ’ Now, a generation later, they come to him and say ‘Our child’s wetting the bed, what’s wrong with us? ’ You take the blame for everything. ”

Julia leaned back against the wall.

“We probably make all the same mistakes that your generation did. Just different versions of them. ”

Estelle rolled the packet between her hands.

“I used to smoke on our balcony, because Knut didn’t like the smell when I smoked indoors, and I liked the view. We could see all the way to the bridge. Just like from this apartment, really. I used to be very fond of that. But then… well… you might remember that a man jumped off that bridge ten years ago? It was in all the papers. And I… well, I checked to see what time of day he jumped, and realized it was right after I’d been out on the balcony smoking. Knut called to say something was happening on television and I hurried back inside, leaving the cigarette to burn itself out in the ashtray, and in that time the man had climbed up onto the railing and jumped. I stopped smoking on the balcony after that. ”

“Oh, Estelle, it wasn’t your fault that someone jumped off a bridge, ” Julia said, trying to console her.

“It wasn’t the bridge’s fault, either, ” Anna-Lena added.

“What? ”

“It isn’t the bridge’s fault if someone jumps off it. I remember it well, you know, because Roger found the whole thing very upsetting. ”

“Did he know the man who jumped? ” Estelle asked.

“Oh, no. But he knew a lot about the bridge. Roger was an engineer, you see, he built bridges. Not that particular bridge, but if you’re as interested in bridges as Roger is, then you end up being interested in all bridges. They talked about that man on television as if it was the bridge’s fault. Roger was very upset about that. Bridges exist to bring people closer together, he said. ”

Julia couldn’t help thinking that was simultaneously a remarkably odd and a rather romantic thing to say. That was probably why—unless it was the fact that she was hungry and exhausted—she suddenly said: “My fiancé e and I were in Australia a few years ago. She wanted to do a bungee jump off a bridge. ”

“Your fiancé e? You mean Ro? ” Estelle nodded.

“No, my previous fiancé e. ”

 

It was a long story. All stories are, when it comes down to it, if you tell them from the start. This story, for instance, would have been considerably shorter if it had just been about three women in a closet. But of course it’s also about two police officers, and one of them was on his way up the stairs.

 

 

What had happened out in the street was that Jack, before he went into the building opposite, had told his dad to wait there. And definitely not to go anywhere. More specifically, not into the building where the hostage drama was taking place. Just wait here, the son said.

 

But of course the father didn’t do that.

 

He took the pizzas and went up to the apartment, and when he came back down, he had spoken to the bank robber.

 

 

Inside the closet, obviously Julia regretted mentioning her former fiancé e as soon as she said it, so she added: “I was engaged when I met Ro. But that’s a long story. Forget I mentioned it. ”

“We’ve got plenty of time for long stories, ” Estelle assured her, because she’d found another bottle of wine in the chest.

“Your fiancé e wanted to jump off a bridge? ” Anna-Lena repeated in alarm.

“Yes. A bungee jump. With a rubber rope tied around your feet. ”

“That sounds mad. ”

Julia’s fingertips massaged her temples.

“I didn’t like the idea, either. But she was always wanting to do things. Experience everything. It was on that trip that I realized I couldn’t live with her, because I haven’t got the energy to keep experiencing things the whole time. I started longing for everyday life, all the boring stuff, but she hated being bored. So I came back from Australia a week before her, blaming the fact that I had to work. And that was when I kissed Ro for the first time. ”



  

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