2) The Passive. IV. Varying your Language. Sample Essay

2) The Passive

When we describe a process that involves humans (a man-made process as opposed to a natural one), the focus is on the activities, NOT the person doing them. When this is the case, we use the passive voice, not the active. For a natural process, such as the life-cycle of a frog, we use active as there is not a person doing the activity in the diagram.

IV. Varying your Language

Sometimes it may be appropriate just to use the same language that you are given in the process diagram to describe it, but you should try to vary it. For example, you may be able to use nouns from the diagram as verbs.

Sample Essay

The illustration shows the whole process of how a hydroelectric dam manufactures electricity from water.

Overall, the main element of the procedure is the flow of water, making a reservoir of water, this is the first step until the last step where the power is produced and distributed. There are 5 main steps in this process.

To begin, a body of water is stored in a large water reservoir holding the water until it goes into the intake. The dam will then control the flow of water to the intake. After that, water will flow to a cylindrical passage called a penstock, making it flow with a strong pressure until it reaches the turbine. Next, the current of the flowing water from the river passing through the penstock will maintain the turbine's rotation.

Subsequently, the rotation of the turbine would produce energy that will pass through a generator until electricity is produced. The generator is inside of the powerhouse, where long distance power lines are connected. Finally, from the generator, electricity is then transmitted to long distance power lines.

(WordCount = 178)

Expert’s comment:

· Task Achievement - The answer provides relevant information, describing the process through every stage. The overview gives clear information, leading into the main body paragraphs.

· Coherence and Cohesion - The answer has been divided into clear logical paragraphs, with clear cohesion between them with the addition of time connectors (after that, next, subsequently, finally).

· Lexical Resource - There is evidence of paraphrasing, synonyms and some less common words.

· Grammatical Range and Accuracy - The answer has no grammatical errors. The sentences are mainly made up of multiple clauses and have a variety of structures. Therearenospellingmistakesandpunctuationiscorrect.

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