The Pickwick Papers 2 страница

A private sitting-room having been engaged, bedrooms inspected, and dinner ordered, the party walked out to view the city and adjoining neighbourhood.

We do not find, from a careful perusal of Mr. Pickwick's notes of the four towns, Stroud, Rochester, Chatham, and Brompton, that his impressions of their appearance differ in any material point from those of other travellers who have gone over the same ground. His general description is easily abridged.

“The principal productions of these towns, ” says Mr. Pickwick, “appear to be soldiers, sailors, Jews, chalk, shrimps, officers, and dockyard men. The commodities chiefly exposed for sale in the public streets are marine stores, hard-bake, apples, flat-fish, and oysters. The streets present a lively and animated appearance, occasioned chiefly by the conviviality of the military. It is truly delightful to a philanthropic mind to see these gallant men staggering along under the influence of an overflow both of animal and ardent spirits; more especially when we remember that the following them about, and jesting with them, affords a cheap and innocent amusement for the boy population. Nothing, ” adds Mr. Pickwick, “can exceed their good-humour. It was but the day before my arrival that one of them had been most grossly insulted in the house of a publican. The barmaid had positively refused to draw him any more liquor; in return for which he had (merely in playfulness) drawn his bayonet, and wounded the girl in the shoulder. And yet this fine fellow was the very first to go down to the house next morning and express his readiness to overlook the matter, and forget what had occurred!

“The consumption of tobacco in these towns, ” continues Mr. Pickwick, “must be very great, and the smell which pervades the streets must be exceedingly delicious to those who are extremely fond of smoking. A superficial traveller might object to the dirt, which is their leading characteristic; but to those who view it as an indication of traffic and commercial prosperity, it is truly gratifying. ”

Punctual to five o'clock came the stranger, and shortly afterwards the dinner. He had divested himself of his brown paper parcel, but had made no alteration in his attire, and was, if possible, more loquacious than ever.

“What's that? ” he inquired, as the waiter removed one of the covers.

“Soles, Sir. ”

“Soles—ah! —capital fish—all come from London-stagecoach proprietors get up political dinners—carriage of soles—dozens of baskets—cunning fellows. Glass of wine, Sir. ”

“With pleasure, ” said Mr. Pickwick; and the stranger took wine, first with him, and then with Mr. Snodgrass, and then with Mr. Tupman, and then with Mr. Winkle, and then with the whole party together, almost as rapidly as he talked.

“Devil of a mess on the staircase, waiter, ” said the stranger. “Forms going up—carpenters coming down—lamps, glasses, harps. What's going forward? ”

“Ball, Sir, ” said the waiter.

“Assembly, eh? ”

“No, Sir, not assembly, Sir. Ball for the benefit of a charity, Sir. ”

“Many fine women in this town, do you know, Sir? ” inquired Mr. Tupman, with great interest.

“Splendid—capital. Kent, sir—everybody knows Kent—apples, cherries, hops, and women. Glass of wine, Sir! ”

“With great pleasure, ” replied Mr. Tupman. The stranger filled, and emptied.

“I should very much like to go, ” said Mr. Tupman, resuming the subject of the ball, “very much. ”

“Tickets at the bar, Sir, ” interposed the waiter; “half-a-guinea each, Sir. ”

Mr. Tupman again expressed an earnest wish to be present at the festivity; but meeting with no response in the darkened eye of Mr. Snodgrass, or the abstracted gaze of Mr. Pickwick, he applied himself with great interest to the port wine and dessert, which had just been placed on the table. The waiter withdrew, and the party were left to enjoy the cosy couple of hours succeeding dinner.

“Beg your pardon, sir, ” said the stranger, “bottle stands—pass it round—way of the sun—through the button-hole—no heeltaps, ” and he emptied his glass, which he had filled about two minutes before, and poured out another, with the air of a man who was used to it.

The wine was passed, and a fresh supply ordered. The visitor talked, the Pickwickians listened. Mr. Tupman felt every moment more disposed for the ball. Mr. Pickwick's countenance glowed with an expression of universal philanthropy, and Mr. Winkle and Mr. Snodgrass fell fast asleep.

“They're beginning upstairs, ” said the stranger—“hear the company—fiddles tuning—now the harp—there they go. ” The various sounds which found their way downstairs announced the commencement of the first quadrille.

“How I should like to go, ” said Mr. Tupman again.

“So should I, ” said the stranger—“confounded luggage, —heavy smacks—nothing to go in—odd, ain't it? ”

Now general benevolence was one of the leading features of the Pickwickian theory, and no one was more remarkable for the zealous manner in which he observed so noble a principle than Mr. Tracy Tupman. The number of instances recorded on the Transactions of the Society, in which that excellent man referred objects of charity to the houses of other members for left-off garments or pecuniary relief is almost incredible. “I should be very happy to lend you a change of apparel for the purpose, ” said Mr. Tracy Tupman, “but you are rather slim, and I am—”

“Rather fat—grown-up Bacchus—cut the leaves—dismounted from the tub, and adopted kersey, eh? —not double distilled, but double milled—ha! ha! pass the wine. ”

Whether Mr. Tupman was somewhat indignant at the peremptory tone in which he was desired to pass the wine which the stranger passed so quickly away, or whether he felt very properly scandalised at an influential member of the Pickwick Club being ignominiously compared to a dismounted Bacchus, is a fact not yet completely ascertained. He passed the wine, coughed twice, and looked at the stranger for several seconds with a stern intensity; as that individual, however, appeared perfectly collected, and quite calm under his searching glance, he gradually relaxed, and reverted to the subject of the ball.

“I was about to observe, Sir, ” he said, “that though my apparel would be too large, a suit of my friend Mr. Winkle's would, perhaps, fit you better. ”

The stranger took Mr. Winkle's measure with his eye, and that feature glistened with satisfaction as he said, “Just the thing. ”

Mr. Tupman looked round him. The wine, which had exerted its somniferous influence over Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Winkle, had stolen upon the senses of Mr. Pickwick. That gentleman had gradually passed through the various stages which precede the lethargy produced by dinner, and its consequences. He had undergone the ordinary transitions from the height of conviviality to the depth of misery, and from the depth of misery to the height of conviviality. Like a gas-lamp in the street, with the wind in the pipe, he had exhibited for a moment an unnatural brilliancy, then sank so low as to be scarcely discernible; after a short interval, he had burst out again, to enlighten for a moment; then flickered with an uncertain, staggering sort of light, and then gone out altogether. His head was sunk upon his bosom, and perpetual snoring, with a partial choke occasionally, were the only audible indications of the great man's presence.

The temptation to be present at the ball, and to form his first impressions of the beauty of the Kentish ladies, was strong upon Mr. Tupman. The temptation to take the stranger with him was equally great. He was wholly unacquainted with the place and its inhabitants, and the stranger seemed to possess as great a knowledge of both as if he had lived there from his infancy. Mr. Winkle was asleep, and Mr. Tupman had had sufficient experience in such matters to know that the moment he awoke he would, in the ordinary course of nature, roll heavily to bed. He was undecided. “Fill your glass, and pass the wine, ” said the indefatigable visitor.

Mr. Tupman did as he was requested; and the additional stimulus of the last glass settled his determination.

“Winkle's bedroom is inside mine, ” said Mr. Tupman; “I couldn't make him understand what I wanted, if I woke him now, but I know he has a dress-suit in a carpet bag; and supposing you wore it to the ball, and took it off when we returned, I could replace it without troubling him at all about the matter. ”

“Capital, ” said the stranger, “famous plan—damned odd situation—fourteen coats in the packing-cases, and obliged to wear another man's—very good notion, that—very. ”

“We must purchase our tickets, ” said Mr. Tupman.

“Not worth while splitting a guinea, ” said the stranger, “toss who shall pay for both—I call; you spin—first time—woman—woman—bewitching woman, ” and down came the sovereign with the dragon (called by courtesy a woman) uppermost.

Mr. Tupman rang the bell, purchased the tickets, and ordered chamber candlesticks. In another quarter of an hour the stranger was completely arrayed in a full suit of Mr. Nathaniel Winkle's.

“It's a new coat, ” said Mr. Tupman, as the stranger surveyed himself with great complacency in a cheval glass; “the first that's been made with our club button, ” and he called his companions” attention to the large gilt button which displayed a bust of Mr. Pickwick in the centre, and the letters “P. C. ” on either side.

“P. C. ” said the stranger—“queer set out—old fellow's likeness, and “P. C. ”—What does “P. C. ” stand for—Peculiar Coat, eh? ”

Mr. Tupman, with rising indignation and great importance, explained the mystic device.

“Rather short in the waist, ain't it? ” said the stranger, screwing himself round to catch a glimpse in the glass of the waist buttons, which were half-way up his back. “Like a general postman's coat—queer coats those—made by contract—no measuring—mysterious dispensations of Providence—all the short men get long coats—all the long men short ones. ” Running on in this way, Mr. Tupman's new companion adjusted his dress, or rather the dress of Mr. Winkle; and, accompanied by Mr. Tupman, ascended the staircase leading to the ballroom.

“What names, sir? ” said the man at the door. Mr. Tracy Tupman was stepping forward to announce his own titles, when the stranger prevented him.

“No names at all; ” and then he whispered Mr. Tupman, “names won't do—not known—very good names in their way, but not great ones—capital names for a small party, but won't make an impression in public assemblies—incog. the thing—gentlemen from London—distinguished foreigners—anything. ” The door was thrown open, and Mr. Tracy Tupman and the stranger entered the ballroom.

It was a long room, with crimson-covered benches, and wax candles in glass chandeliers. The musicians were securely confined in an elevated den, and quadrilles were being systematically got through by two or three sets of dancers. Two card-tables were made up in the adjoining card-room, and two pair of old ladies, and a corresponding number of stout gentlemen, were executing whist therein.

The finale concluded, the dancers promenaded the room, and Mr. Tupman and his companion stationed themselves in a corner to observe the company.

“Charming women, ” said Mr. Tupman.

“Wait a minute, ” said the stranger, “fun presently—nobs not come yet—queer place—dockyard people of upper rank don't know dockyard people of lower rank—dockyard people of lower rank don't know small gentry—small gentry don't know tradespeople—commissioner don't know anybody. ”

“Who's that little boy with the light hair and pink eyes, in a fancy dress? 'inquired Mr. Tupman.

“Hush, pray—pink eyes—fancy dress—little boy—nonsense—ensign 97th—Honourable Wilmot Snipe—great family—Snipes—very. ”

“Sir Thomas Clubber, Lady Clubber, and the Misses Clubber! ” shouted the man at the door in a stentorian voice. A great sensation was created throughout the room by the entrance of a tall gentleman in a blue coat and bright buttons, a large lady in blue satin, and two young ladies, on a similar scale, in fashionablymade dresses of the same hue.

“Commissioner—head of the yard—great man—remarkably great man, ” whispered the stranger in Mr. Tupman's ear, as the charitable committee ushered Sir Thomas Clubber and family to the top of the room. The Honourable Wilmot Snipe, and other distinguished gentlemen crowded to render homage to the Misses Clubber; and Sir Thomas Clubber stood bolt upright, and looked majestically over his black kerchief at the assembled company.

“Mr. Smithie, Mrs. Smithie, and the Misses Smithie, ” was the next announcement.

“What's Mr. Smithie? ” inquired Mr. Tracy Tupman.

“Something in the yard, ” replied the stranger. Mr. Smithie bowed deferentially to Sir Thomas Clubber; and Sir Thomas Clubber acknowledged the salute with conscious condescension. Lady Clubber took a telescopic view of Mrs. Smithie and family through her eye-glass and Mrs. Smithie stared in her turn at Mrs. Somebody-else, whose husband was not in the dockyard at all.

“Colonel Bulder, Mrs. Colonel Bulder, and Miss Bulder, ” were the next arrivals.

“Head of the garrison, ” said the stranger, in reply to Mr. Tupman's inquiring look.

Miss Bulder was warmly welcomed by the Misses Clubber; the greeting between Mrs. Colonel Bulder and Lady Clubber was of the most affectionate description; Colonel Bulder and Sir Thomas Clubber exchanged snuff-boxes, and looked very much like a pair of Alexander Selkirks—“Monarchs of all they surveyed. ”

While the aristocracy of the place—the Bulders, and Clubbers, and Snipes—were thus preserving their dignity at the upper end of the room, the other classes of society were imitating their example in other parts of it. The less aristocratic officers of the 97th devoted themselves to the families of the less important functionaries from the dockyard. The solicitors” wives, and the wine-merchant's wife, headed another grade (the brewer's wife visited the Bulders); and Mrs. Tomlinson, the post-office keeper, seemed by mutual consent to have been chosen the leader of the trade party.

One of the most popular personages, in his own circle, present, was a little fat man, with a ring of upright black hair round his head, and an extensive bald plain on the top of it—Doctor Slammer, surgeon to the 97th. The doctor took snuff with everybody, chatted with everybody, laughed, danced, made jokes, played whist, did everything, and was everywhere. To these pursuits, multifarious as they were, the little doctor added a more important one than any—he was indefatigable in paying the most unremitting and devoted attention to a little old widow, whose rich dress and profusion of ornament bespoke her a most desirable addition to a limited income.

Upon the doctor, and the widow, the eyes of both Mr. Tupman and his companion had been fixed for some time, when the stranger broke silence.

“Lots of money—old girl—pompous doctor—not a bad idea—good fun, ” were the intelligible sentences which issued from his lips. Mr. Tupman looked inquisitively in his face. “I'll dance with the widow, ” said the stranger.

“Who is she? ” inquired Mr. Tupman.

“Don't know—never saw her in all my life—cut out the doctor—here goes. ” And the stranger forthwith crossed the room; and, leaning against a mantel-piece, commenced gazing with an air of respectful and melancholy admiration on the fat countenance of the little old lady. Mr. Tupman looked on, in mute astonishment. The stranger progressed rapidly; the little doctor danced with another lady; the widow dropped her fan; the stranger picked it up, and presented it—a smile—a bow—a curtsey—a few words of conversation. The stranger walked boldly up to, and returned with, the master of the ceremonies; a little introductory pantomime; and the stranger and Mrs. Budger took their places in a quadrille.

The surprise of Mr. Tupman at this summary proceeding, great as it was, was immeasurably exceeded by the astonishment of the doctor. The stranger was young, and the widow was flattered. The doctor's attentions were unheeded by the widow; and the doctor's indignation was wholly lost on his imperturbable rival. Doctor Slammer was paralysed. He, Doctor Slammer, of the 97th, to be extinguished in a moment, by a man whom nobody had ever seen before, and whom nobody knew even now! Doctor Slammer—Doctor Slammer of the 97th rejected! Impossible! It could not be! Yes, it was; there they were. What! introducing his friend! Could he believe his eyes! He looked again, and was under the painful necessity of admitting the veracity of his optics; Mrs. Budger was dancing with Mr. Tracy Tupman; there was no mistaking the fact. There was the widow before him, bouncing bodily here and there, with unwonted vigour; and Mr. Tracy Tupman hopping about, with a face expressive of the most intense solemnity, dancing (as a good many people do) as if a quadrille were not a thing to be laughed at, but a severe trial to the feelings, which it requires inflexible resolution to encounter.

Silently and patiently did the doctor bear all this, and all the handings of negus, and watching for glasses, and darting for biscuits, and coquetting, that ensued; but, a few seconds after the stranger had disappeared to lead Mrs. Budger to her carriage, he darted swiftly from the room with every particle of his hithertobottled-up indignation effervescing, from all parts of his countenance, in a perspiration of passion.

The stranger was returning, and Mr. Tupman was beside him. He spoke in a low tone, and laughed. The little doctor thirsted for his life. He was exulting. He had triumphed.

“Sir! ” said the doctor, in an awful voice, producing a card, and retiring into an angle of the passage, “my name is Slammer, Doctor Slammer, sir—97th Regiment—Chatham Barracks—my card, Sir, my card. ” He would have added more, but his indignation choked him.

“Ah! ” replied the stranger coolly, “Slammer—much obliged—polite attention—not ill now, Slammer—but when I am—knock you up. ”

“You—you're a shuffler, sir, ” gasped the furious doctor, “a poltroon—a coward—a liar—a—a—will nothing induce you to give me your card, sir! ” “Oh! I see, ” said the stranger, half aside, “negus too strong here—liberal landlord—very foolish—very—lemonade much better—hot rooms—elderly gentlemen—suffer for it in the morning—cruel—cruel; ” and he moved on a step or two.

“You are stopping in this house, Sir, ” said the indignant little man; “you are intoxicated now, Sir; you shall hear from me in the morning, sir. I shall find you out, sir; I shall find you out. ”

“Rather you found me out than found me at home, ” replied the unmoved stranger.

Doctor Slammer looked unutterable ferocity, as he fixed his hat on his head with an indignant knock; and the stranger and Mr. Tupman ascended to the bedroom of the latter to restore the borrowed plumage to the unconscious Winkle.

That gentleman was fast asleep; the restoration was soon made. The stranger was extremely jocose; and Mr. Tracy Tupman, being quite bewildered with wine, negus, lights, and ladies, thought the whole affair was an exquisite joke. His new friend departed; and, after experiencing some slight difficulty in finding the orifice in his nightcap, originally intended for the reception of his head, and finally overturning his candlestick in his struggles to put it on, Mr. Tracy Tupman managed to get into bed by a series of complicated evolutions, and shortly afterwards sank into repose.

Seven o'clock had hardly ceased striking on the following morning, when Mr. Pickwick's comprehensive mind was aroused from the state of unconsciousness, in which slumber had plunged it, by a loud knocking at his chamber door. “Who's there? ” said Mr. Pickwick, starting up in bed.

“Boots, sir. ”

“What do you want? ”

“Please, sir, can you tell me which gentleman of your party wears a bright blue dress-coat, with a gilt button with “P. C. ” on it? ”

“It's been given out to brush, ” thought Mr. Pickwick, “and the man has forgotten whom it belongs to. ” “Mr. Winkle, 'he called out, “next room but two, on the right hand. ” “Thank'ee, sir, ” said the Boots, and away he went.

“What's the matter? ” cried Mr. Tupman, as a loud knocking at his door roused hint from his oblivious repose.

“Can I speak to Mr. Winkle, sir? ” replied Boots from the outside.

“Winkle—Winkle! ” shouted Mr. Tupman, calling into the inner room. “Hollo! ” replied a faint voice from within the bed-clothes.

“You're wanted—some one at the door; ” and, having exerted himself to articulate thus much, Mr. Tracy Tupman turned round and fell fast asleep again.

“Wanted! ” said Mr. Winkle, hastily jumping out of bed, and putting on a few articles of clothing; “wanted! at this distance from town—who on earth can want me? ”

“Gentleman in the coffee-room, sir, ” replied the Boots, as Mr. Winkle opened the door and confronted him; “gentleman says he'll not detain you a moment, Sir, but he can take no denial. ”

“Very odd! ” said Mr. Winkle; “I'll be down directly. ”

He hurriedly wrapped himself in a travelling-shawl and dressing-gown, and proceeded downstairs. An old woman and a couple of waiters were cleaning the coffee-room, and an officer in undress uniform was looking out of the window. He turned round as Mr. Winkle entered, and made a stiff inclination of the head. Having ordered the attendants to retire, and closed the door very carefully, he said, “Mr. Winkle, I presume? ”

“My name is Winkle, sir. ”

“You will not be surprised, sir, when I inform you that I have called here this morning on behalf of my friend, Doctor Slammer, of the 97th. ”

“Doctor Slammer! ” said Mr. Winkle.

“Doctor Slammer. He begged me to express his opinion that your conduct of last evening was of a description which no gentleman could endure; and” (he added) “which no one gentleman would pursue towards another. ”

Mr. Winkle's astonishment was too real, and too evident, to escape the observation of Doctor Slammer's friend; he therefore proceeded—“My friend, Doctor Slammer, requested me to add, that he was firmly persuaded you were intoxicated during a portion of the evening, and possibly unconscious of the extent of the insult you were guilty of. He commissioned me to say, that should this be pleaded as an excuse for your behaviour, he will consent to accept a written apology, to be penned by you, from my dictation. ”

“A written apology! ” repeated Mr. Winkle, in the most emphatic tone of amazement possible.

“Of course you know the alternative, ” replied the visitor coolly.

“Were you intrusted with this message to me by name? ” inquired Mr. Winkle, whose intellects were hopelessly confused by this extraordinary conversation.

“I was not present myself, ” replied the visitor, “and in consequence of your firm refusal to give your card to Doctor Slammer, I was desired by that gentleman to identify the wearer of a very uncommon coat—a bright blue dress-coat, with a gilt button displaying a bust, and the letters “P. C. ”

Mr. Winkle actually staggered with astonishment as he heard his own costume thus minutely described. Doctor Slammer's friend proceeded: —“From the inquiries I made at the bar, just now, I was convinced that the owner of the coat in question arrived here, with three gentlemen, yesterday afternoon. I immediately sent up to the gentleman who was described as appearing the head of the party, and he at once referred me to you. ”

If the principal tower of Rochester Castle had suddenly walked from its foundation, and stationed itself opposite the coffee-room window, Mr. Winkle's surprise would have been as nothing compared with the profound astonishment with which he had heard this address. His first impression was that his coat had been stolen. “Will you allow me to detain you one moment? ” said he.

“Certainly, ” replied the unwelcome visitor.

Mr. Winkle ran hastily upstairs, and with a trembling hand opened the bag. There was the coat in its usual place, but exhibiting, on a close inspection, evident tokens of having been worn on the preceding night.

“It must be so, ” said Mr. Winkle, letting the coat fall from his hands. “I took too much wine after dinner, and have a very vague recollection of walking about the streets, and smoking a cigar afterwards. The fact is, I was very drunk; —I must have changed my coat—gone somewhere—and insulted somebody—I have no doubt of it; and this message is the terrible consequence. ” Saying which, Mr. Winkle retraced his steps in the direction of the coffee-room, with the gloomy and dreadful resolve of accepting the challenge of the warlike Doctor Slammer, and abiding by the worst consequences that might ensue.

To this determination Mr. Winkle was urged by a variety of considerations, the first of which was his reputation with the club. He had always been looked up to as a high authority on all matters of amusement and dexterity, whether offensive, defensive, or inoffensive; and if, on this very first occasion of being put to the test, he shrunk back from the trial, beneath his leader's eye, his name and standing were lost for ever. Besides, he remembered to have heard it frequently surmised by the uninitiated in such matters that by an understood arrangement between the seconds, the pistols were seldom loaded with ball; and, furthermore, he reflected that if he applied to Mr. Snodgrass to act as his second, and depicted the danger in glowing terms, that gentleman might possibly communicate the intelligence to Mr. Pickwick, who would certainly lose no time in transmitting it to the local authorities, and thus prevent the killing or maiming of his follower.

Such were his thoughts when he returned to the coffee-room, and intimated his intention of accepting the doctor's challenge.

“Will you refer me to a friend, to arrange the time and place of meeting? ” said the officer.

“Quite unnecessary, ” replied Mr. Winkle; “name them to me, and I can procure the attendance of a friend afterwards. ”

“Shall we say—sunset this evening? ” inquired the officer, in a careless tone.

“Very good, ” replied Mr. Winkle, thinking in his heart it was very bad.

“You know Fort Pitt? ”

“Yes; I saw it yesterday. ”

“If you will take the trouble to turn into the field which borders the trench, take the foot-path to the left when you arrive at an angle of the fortification, and keep straight on, till you see me, I will precede you to a secluded place, where the affair can be conducted without fear of interruption. ”

“Fear of interruption! ” thought Mr. Winkle.

“Nothing more to arrange, I think, ” said the officer.

“I am not aware of anything more, ” replied Mr. Winkle. “Good-morning. ”

“Good-morning; ” and the officer whistled a lively air as he strode away.

That morning's breakfast passed heavily off. Mr. Tupman was not in a condition to rise, after the unwonted dissipation of the previous night; Mr. Snodgrass appeared to labour under a poetical depression of spirits; and even Mr. Pickwick evinced an unusual attachment to silence and soda-water. Mr. Winkle eagerly watched his opportunity: it was not long wanting. Mr. Snodgrass proposed a visit to the castle, and as Mr. Winkle was the only other member of the party disposed to walk, they went out together. “Snodgrass, ” said Mr. Winkle, when they had turned out of the public street. “Snodgrass, my dear fellow, can I rely upon your secrecy? ” As he said this, he most devoutly and earnestly hoped he could not.

“You can, ” replied Mr. Snodgrass. “Hear me swear—”

“No, no, ” interrupted Winkle, terrified at the idea of his companion's unconsciously pledging himself not to give information; “don't swear, don't swear; it's quite unnecessary. ”

Mr. Snodgrass dropped the hand which he had, in the spirit of poesy, raised towards the clouds as he made the above appeal, and assumed an attitude of attention.

“I want your assistance, my dear fellow, in an affair of honour, ” said Mr. Winkle.

“You shall have it, ” replied Mr. Snodgrass, clasping his friend's hand.

“With a doctor—Doctor Slammer, of the 97th, ” said Mr. Winkle, wishing to make the matter appear as solemn as possible; “an affair with an officer, seconded by another officer, at sunset this evening, in a lonely field beyond Fort Pitt. ”

“I will attend you, ” said Mr. Snodgrass.

He was astonished, but by no means dismayed. It is extraordinary how cool any party but the principal can be in such cases. Mr. Winkle had forgotten this. He had judged of his friend's feelings by his own.

“The consequences may be dreadful, ” said Mr. Winkle.

“I hope not, ” said Mr. Snodgrass.

“The doctor, I believe, is a very good shot, ” said Mr. Winkle.

“Most of these military men are, ” observed Mr. Snodgrass calmly; “but so are you, ain't you? ” Mr. Winkle replied in the affirmative; and perceiving that he had not alarmed his companion sufficiently, changed his ground.

“Snodgrass, ” he said, in a voice tremulous with emotion, “if I fall, you will find in a packet which I shall place in your hands a note for my—for my father. ”

This attack was a failure also. Mr. Snodgrass was affected, but he undertook the delivery of the note as readily as if he had been a twopenny postman.

“If I fall, ” said Mr. Winkle, “or if the doctor falls, you, my dear friend, will be tried as an accessory before the fact. Shall I involve my friend in transportation—possibly for life! ” Mr. Snodgrass winced a little at this, but his heroism was invincible. “In the cause of friendship, ” he fervently exclaimed, “I would brave all dangers. ”

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