THREE. ELEVEN. TWELVE. THIRTEEN. FOURTEEN. FIFTEEN. SIXTEEN. SEVENTEEN. EIGHTEEN. NINETEEN. TWENTY. TWENTY-ONE

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EIGHTEEN

POPS, WOULD YOU get out of here for just a little while? ”

He ignored her. “What’s a thirteen-letter word for ‘old’? ”

“I’d say Ronald Davis, ” Jess said, “but that’s only eleven. ”

Nana chuckled from the bed, where she was drowsily half watching TV on mute.

“Well? ” he prompted, tired and irritable.

Jess shook her head. “Nope. ”

“What do you mean, ‘nope’? ” he gruffed.

“I’m not helping you, ” she told him. “You stink and you’re falling asleep in your chair. ”

“She’s right, ” Nana murmured.

He stared at Nana Jo, then at Jess, and then blinked down, forlorn, at the puzzle. “Octogenarian? ” He counted on his fingers, and grunted in annoyance. “Septuagenarian? ” Victorious, he moved to write it in.

“That’s fourteen letters, ” Jess said. “You’re forgetting the U in there, aren’t you? ”

Irked, Pops dropped the crossword onto the table in defeat.

“Go home for a bit, ” Nana said sleepily. “I don’t need you watching me all day. ”

“Well, it’s not my fault I can’t take my eyes off you. You’re just too pretty. ”

Nana Jo rolled her eyes, but his words made her glow like a Christmas tree.

“Fine, I’ll go home and shower and sleep. ” He stood, stretching. Something cracked in his back and he let out a tight moan before kissing Nana on the forehead. He looked over his shoulder at Jess. “You won’t leave her? ” Jess forgave him the accusatory tone; he was exhausted.

It was on the tip of her tongue to joke that she promised to only leave if she got bored or hungry, or if a hot male nurse wanted to sneak into a supply closet, but now was not the time. “I won’t leave her. ” Quietly, she added, “Superannuated. ”

Letting out a quiet “Dammit, I should have known that one, ” he walked back over and scribbled the word into the puzzle.

POPS RETURNED AROUND three, looking significantly cleaner and marginally better rested. He arrived only a handful of minutes before the physical therapist came to get Nana up and out of bed for the first time, and Jess was glad because it took all three of them to talk the normally fearless woman through the panic of putting weight on her leg.

Jess didn’t have time to reel in the emotional hit of seeing Nana so frail and scared; it took an hour to get her up and taking the ten assisted steps to the door, where a wheelchair took her to the PT room, and another hour there, working on strength and balance.

By the time Nana Jo was back in bed for the night it was just after five, and although Jess had been sitting for most of the day, she was so mentally drained that she just wanted to curl up in her bed—hell, she’d happily find a spot on the linoleum floor. But more than that, she wanted some time with Juno while her daughter was awake. And food. She hadn’t eaten since she’d picked at a dry bran muffin around ten that morning, and her stomach gnarled in annoyance.

Texting Fizzy that she’d have some dinner delivered, Jess climbed into her car, called an order in to Rama, and turned on the mellow rumble of the National. Music filled the car, and it was an intoxicating hit of calm.

You said love fills you up …

I got it worse than anyone else

Her shoulders tensed, and she turned the music off.

In the silence, her thoughts immediately flooded with River. The paradoxical brew of hospital tedium and chaos had held everything back, but in the dark solitude of her own car, emotion poured over her.

I thought it was obvious.

I want to hear you recite the odds that we would have met.

“‘I want you in my bed, ’” she repeated aloud.

Jess pulled into her parking spot in the alley, listened to the engine tick in the silence. She could smell duck curry all the way down the path and sent a silent thanks to Rama.

Inside, Juno and Fizzy were at the table, feasting and playing cards. They were wearing handmade paper hats and Fizzy had put … a lot of makeup on Juno.

“We’re filming makeup tutorials for my mom, ” Fizzy said, standing to walk over and give Jess a hug.

Jess stifled a laugh at her daughter’s exaggerated lips. “I see. ”

With an irrepressible urge to deflate in fatigue, Jess considered simply lowering her body to the floor. But she wanted her arms around her kid so bad they ached. At the table, Jess lifted Juno up and set her on her lap while her daughter finished eating, pressing her face to the small stretch between the delicate shoulder blades. “I missed you, Bug. ”

“I haven’t been gone, silly! ” Juno bent in her grip, maneuvering a bite into her mouth.

Once they’d stuffed themselves to the point of discomfort, Juno settled on the couch to watch The Lion King, and Fizzy and Jess lingered in the kitchen with glasses of wine.

“I don’t like when you’re out of town, ” Jess said through a yawn. “I blame you for yesterday. ”

“Seems reasonable. ” Fizzy swallowed a sip and bit her lip, studying Jess with narrowed eyes. “Juno says River Nicolas picked her up and took her to ballet? ”

Jess waved a hand, unprepared to talk about it yet. “How are things with you and Banker Rob? ”

“Hot and fantastic. ”

She raised an eyebrow. “Will he be coming to your place later? ”

Fizzy shook her head, waving her glass with a delicately bent wrist. “He’s out of town, remember? Which means you won’t get to avoid the River conversation. ” Her best friend sat at the table and patted the seat next to her.

“Oh. Right. ” Jess sat, but immediately crumpled, resting her head on her arms. “I’m too tired, Fizz. ”

“Tell me what’s going on. You look …” She leaned in, lifting Jess’s hair to peek at her face. “This looks like more than just worry about Jo. ”

Straightening, Jess quietly unloaded it all, parcel by parcel. She admitted she was starting to feel for River—feelings too big to ponder when it seemed like everything else in her life was pounding at the door to be dealt with. She admitted she didn’t know whether River’s intentions were completely trustworthy, even though he swore they were. She told Fizzy about the cocktail party, about honest-to-God one of the most intense make-outs the parking lot of Scripps Mercy had ever seen. She told Fizzy about how she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She told Fizzy every detail she could think to tell, like she was purging her sins.

“He said that? ” Fizzy whispered, wary of the small but excellent ears in the other room. “He actually said the words ‘I want you in my bed’? Just like that? ”

Jess nodded.

“With eye contact? ”

“Steady, ardent, I’m-going-to-fuck-you-until-you-find-religion eye contact, ” Jess confirmed.

Fizzy groaned, reaching for her purse, pulling her notebook out, and writing it down.

Jess bent over her arms again, exhaling an enormous sigh. “I just need some time to figure this all out. It’s happening so fast. ”

Fizzy dropped her pen, scoffing at this. “Come on. No, you don’t. ”

Surprised, Jess looked up at her. “What do you mean I don’t? ”

“You’ve known him for weeks now. You’re telling me he told you he wanted to take you to dinner and hear you be nerdy. He wants to be there for you without you feeling guilty. He admitted he wants you in his bed—this poor boy is sprung, Jess, and you’re going to—what? Shove it aside? ”

Jess stared at her, uncomprehending.

“You’re looking for a way out of feeling anything, ” Fizzy said, “but you’re clearly bonkers for this guy. ”

“I’m not sure ‘bonkers’—”

“You’re scared, and it’s cliché. ”

She exhaled a shocked laugh. “Wow, give it to me straight, Felicity. ”

“You think having feelings for River is selfish. ”

“I mean, this situation does actually take me away from both work and Juno, ” she said. “I’ve barely seen her the past two days. ”

“So? ” Fizzy challenged.

“What …? I—” Jess grew flustered. “She’s my kid. I want to see her. ”

“Of course you do, ” Fizzy said, “but she’s Jo’s and Pops’s and mine, too. She and I had a blast tonight, and I wish I could see her more. But you act like asking for help is selfish, you see wanting something just for yourself as selfish, you see taking any time away from your kid as selfish, and if you’re selfish, then you must be turning into your mother. ”

Hearing it aloud was like being punched.

“But you’re not your mom, Jess. ” Fizzy took her hand, lifting it to her mouth to kiss it. “There isn’t even a drop of Jamie Davis in you. ”

Jess’s voice broke. “I know. ”

“And if you could do anything tonight when Juno goes to bed, what would it be? ”

She expected the word Sleep to drop out of her mouth. But instead: “I’d go to his place. ”

Fizzy’s dark eyes flashed with smug victory. “Then go. I’ll stay here with the kid as long as you need me to. ”

“Fizz, you don’t have to do that. ”

“I know I don’t. ” She kissed Jess’s hand again. “That’s the whole point. You do things for me because you love me. I do things for you because I love you. Duh. ”

Jess scrounged around for the last remaining excuse. Luckily, it was a good one: “I don’t know where he lives. ”

“Well, you could text him. Or …” Fizzy reached across the table for a piece of paper and handed it to her. On it, in small, cramped handwriting, was the name River Nicolas Peñ a and an address in North Park.

“Wait, ” Jess said, laughing incredulously, “how did this end up on my table? ”

“I asked the same thing when I found it in Juno’s backpack, ” Fizzy said with mock bewilderment. “And Juno explained that she wanted to mail him some drawings of Pigeon. How kind of him to give this to her. ”

RIVER OPENED THE door and his mouth went slack.

“Jess. ” He reached for her shoulder, concerned. “What are you—? Are you okay? ”

All at once, she had no idea what to say. He was standing in front of her in lounge pants that hung low on his hips and a threadbare Stanford T-shirt. He was barefoot and freshly showered. His hair was wet and finger-brushed back off his face; his lips were smooth and perfect. Unraveled and bare, Jess knew in her bones that he was her ninety-eight.

“I wanted to see you. ”

Realization altered his expression, and his eyes darted behind her and then quickly back. He licked his lips. “Is Ju—”

“Fizzy. ”

He stared, breaths coming out in shorter and shorter gusts. Maybe three seconds later, Jess didn’t know who was moving first, whether he pulled her inside or she stepped in out of the cool, humid night, but she was in his entryway only a moment before the door slammed and she was pushed back against it. River braced his hands beside her head, staring with wild disbelief. And then he bent, pressing a groaning kiss to her mouth.

The feel of it, the perfect pressure and angle, transformed her longing into a staggering hunger. Jess’s hands shook as they made fists in the soft fabric of his shirt, and when he tasted her—lips parted, tongue teasing—she was hit with a desire so intense it felt like taking a breath too big to hold. She had to pull away, gasping for air.

“I can’t believe you’re here, ” he growled, scraping his teeth down her jaw, sucking, biting at her neck. “Did you come here for this? ”

Jess nodded, and greedy hands bunched her sweater as they moved up her torso, seeking skin. The loss of contact while he pulled away to yank it up and over her head was torture, and Jess jerked him back, wedging her hands between them to get his T-shirt off as quickly as her frantic fingers would let her. Beneath her touch he was hard and smooth, candy for her feverish hands.

Jess laughed an apology into his mouth as she managed to get his elbow briefly tangled in one of his sleeves. “It’s okay, ” he breathed, tossing the shirt away. His eyes met hers for an electric beat before his hair fell forward and he bent to kiss her.

While his mouth moved down her jaw and neck, over her shoulder and along the sensitive inside of her wrist, she watched her fingers memorize each perfect inch of his torso. River’s shoulders were broad but not massive, defined but not bulky. His chest, too, and lower, where his stomach clenched under her touch. Jess wanted to dig in, bite, consume. And when her nails scratched up his back, over the curves of his shoulders, tracing his perfect collarbones, his breath caught in his throat.

With his gaze on her face, River reached back, releasing the clasp of her bra. His hands were rough and warm, and Jess wanted to catch every tiny shift in his expression, every reaction to the feel of her. The way he looked at her—the sweet devastation pinching his brow—made Jess feel like she’d been plugged directly into the sun. Urging him back, she fell to her knees, drugged and nearly delirious with need.

He let out a whispered “Oh, God” as she worked his pants and boxers down; River turned her into Medusa with his fingers in her hair, and with a voice that had grown hoarse, he quietly begged for more than the heat of her breath. She looked up, and when their eyes met, hunger speared painfully through her. Jess hadn’t ever felt this desired or this powerful. Having never craved anything in excess like this before, she wanted to pull him into every bit of her body at once, wanted to break off pieces too big to consume.

River’s voice went from whispered pleas into broken, growling warnings, and with a cry, he pulled his hips away, wrapping a hand around her arm and guiding her to her feet. Jerking her close, he tucked her head beneath his chin while he caught his breath. With the pause in the frenzy, Jess grew aware of how fast her own breaths were coming, how it felt like their hearts were hammering on opposite sides of the same door.

I want to never get used to this, she thought, holding him. If tonight is about being selfish, then here’s my selfish wish: I hope we never get used to this.

He pulled away, sending his hands over her body—hungrily touching chest, and ribs, and the curved small of her back—and Jess closed her eyes, tilting her head as his mouth slid up her throat. Teasing, his fingers toyed with the button on her jeans.

“Can I take these off? ”

At her nod, River worked the button loose, smiling and kicking his own clothing free as he peeled hers down her legs. Leaning away, he grabbed and threw something to the floor, and when he carefully lowered her down, Jess realized he’d pulled a plush blanket from the couch.

Her back met the blanket, and his hips slid between her thighs. She got one gentle kiss before the heat of his mouth moved down her neck, sucking and kissing at her breasts, fingers digging into hips and navel and then gently feeling, stroking, before his kiss was there, too. The relief of it was like being uncapped and poured across his floor, and her fingers made fists in his hair as Jess closed her eyes against the overload of sensation.

She felt blindly for the purse she must have dropped as soon as her back hit the door, and fumbled through the fog of lust, pulling the square of foil free.

River heard the tear, lifting his head and dragging his mouth up her body. He tasted like her, but sounded like a man on the verge of breaking when she gripped him, rolling on the condom.

But he went still over her, and she paused, too, moving her hands to rest them on his hips. “Too fast? ”

He shook his head and smiled down at her. “Just making sure. ”

Jess reached up to push the hair out of his eyes and nodded, unable to get the words out.

“Say it, ” he said, bending to kiss her. “I’m sure. Are you? ”

She couldn’t spread her hands out wide enough; even with his body aligned all along hers, she needed to get closer. “I want to, ” she said. “Please. ”

River dropped his forehead to her temple, letting her be the one to take him in. They both went still for a breathless pause, and in that time Jess existed only on the razor-sharp edge of bliss and discomfort. Carefully, holding still, he kissed her—so sweet and searching—and she could finally exhale.

“You okay? ” River kissed her mouth again, and Jess felt him pull back and take in her expression. “We can stop. ”

Was he serious? They absolutely could not. Her drama-queen body was certain they’d die if they tried.

“No. Don’t go. ”

“Okay. ” His lips dragged across her jaw and she could feel his smile. “I won’t. ”

He kissed her again, pulling away with a gentle bite. When he whispered through a laugh, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m shaking, ” and she felt the truth of it under her hands, she could exhale some more because it made her think maybe she wasn’t alone in this feeling—so desperate for him that she might cry.

River moved over her—slow, then building in tempo, pressing into her again and again, releasing a quiet grunt with every forward pitch and—

—and suddenly she felt the weight rolling down her spine like a steel boulder in a trap ready to spring.

Jess got only one word out—“I’m”—before it hit her like an explosion, the inside-out splitting of heat and relief spreading through her entire body. She was still too tangled up to appreciate River’s abandon, but it imprinted in the back of her mind how he groaned her name against her neck, going tightly still over her.

After a pause filled only with the sounds of their short, stuttering breaths, River pushed up on his arms and stared down at her. His hair was a mess of dark curls falling into his eyes, but Jess had the weird sense of looking into a mirror anyway; his gaze was brimming with the same shock and amazement she felt vibrating in her blood. It hit her in a sharp, startling truth: her whole life she had been put together wrong in one tiny, invisible, and critical way. And having that piece altered just enough for it to slide into place suddenly changed everything.

“Can you stay? ” he asked, catching his breath. “Stay here tonight? ”

Her heart pinched painfully and Jess ran a hand down his sweaty chest, over his stomach. “I don’t think so. ”

Nodding, he pulled back with a wince, and she immediately ached for him. River sat back on his heels and ran a warm palm along her leg, from hip to knee.

She marveled at this man who, a month ago, she’d known only as “Americano, ” as surly and quiet and selfish. This shy, brilliant man kneeling in front of her who showed up without having to be asked, who put the ball in her court, who asked her if she was sure and told her they could stop. She felt her control slipping out of her grip, and the two syllables of his name tattooed a permanent echo inside her.

River’s shoulders rose and fell with his still-labored breathing, and he closed his eyes, sliding his hands up over her hips again, across her navel. “I don’t have to say it, do I? ”

“Maybe not, ” Jess said, gazing up at him. “I still want you to. ”

Somehow she’d known exactly what he would look like without a stitch of clothing on, but she took a leisurely visual perusal anyway.

“That was unreal, wasn’t it? ” he finally said. “I don’t feel like the same person I was an hour ago. ”

“I was just thinking the exact same thing. ”

He laughed quietly. “I can’t believe we did it on the floor. In all the times I imagined it, I did not imagine the floor. ”

“I probably wouldn’t have let you get much farther than the entryway. ”

“I like a woman on a mission. ”

With hungry, curious eyes, Jess watched him stand and stride unselfconsciously naked across the foyer to his sleek, austere kitchen. She hadn’t even taken a moment to look around his place, but it was exactly what she expected: open floor plan, clean lines, simple furniture, understated wall decor. There were, for example, no crayon drawings of hippos taped to his refrigerator or unpaired socks strewn on the floor.

He returned a moment later, coming over her like a shadowed, predatory animal. “I’m going to think about this constantly now. ”

Jess laughed, admitting, “I already do. ”

“Like when? ” he whispered.

She rolled her eyes away, thinking. “Um. Shelter Island—”

“Same. ”

Her eyes met his again. “And the kiss at the party—”

“Of course. ”

“The parking lot at the hospital. ”

“I almost asked to follow you home. ”

She reached up, sliding her thumb over his bottom lip. “I’m glad you didn’t. I would have said yes, but I wasn’t ready yesterday. ”

He opened his mouth, gently biting the tip of her finger. “I know. I hope you were tonight. ”

She nodded, mesmerized by the sight of his teeth around her finger. “I was. It lived up to the mental hype. It exceeded the mental hype. ”

“I wanted you before Shelter Island, ” he said quietly.

Jess pulled back a little, surprised. “When? ”

“The night we found out about the match, when we were outside. I wondered what it would feel like to kiss you. ” He bent, giving her a tiny peck. “And at dinner, with Dave and Brandon. ” He kissed her again. “In the lab when I took your blood. Our first date. Pretty much every time I thought about you. ”

“Do you think it’s because the number told you to want me? ”

He shook his head. “I believe in the algorithm, but not that much. I fought it. Just like you did. ”

Jess stared up at him, running her palm up his chest. A faint echo of discomfort registered in her back, and he must have felt her wince because he pushed up, reaching for and helping her stand.

River bent, pulling on his boxers before draping the throw blanket around her shoulders. Taking her hand, he led them to the couch, gesturing for her to sit first, but Jess stepped forward, gently pushing him until he sat, and then placed a knee on either side of his hips, straddling him. Bringing the blanket around her shoulders, she sealed them in together below their necks.

Beneath the blanket, River ran his hands up her bare thighs and let out a long, slow breath. “You’re going to kill me. ”

Suddenly it all felt very surreal. “I honestly can’t believe that I’m here and we just had sex on your floor. ”

River went in for a kiss and laughed against her mouth. “Does Juno know you’re here? ”

“No. ”

He lifted a brow. “Does she know we’re …? ”

“She’s asked me a couple times if you were my boyfriend, but …” Jess shook her head. “I’m not really talking about it with her yet. ”

He gave a little That’s fair frown and pushed the blanket off her shoulders, drawing lazy spirals over her collarbones. “But I assume Fizzy knows. ”

“She practically shoved me out the door with your address in my hand. ”

He looked up at her face, realization dawning. “Shit. I forgot to tell you about the cat drawings and giving her my address. I didn’t mean to overstep, but that kid is persuasive. ”

With a laugh, Jess waved this off. “Trust me, I know how she operates. It’s why we joke that she’s half Fizzy’s. ”

“Still. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it. ”

“Are you kidding? ” She kissed him again. “I’m sorry because no doubt she made you feel incredibly guilty, questioning everything about yourself, before you finally relented. ”

He laughed, tilting his head back and giving her a delightful view of his throat. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you know exactly how it went down. ”

“She definitely does not get the evil-genius persuasiveness from me. ”

River’s smile stuttered; Alec was there with them now. River reached up to twist a long strand of her hair around his finger.

Jess cleared her throat. “Or her father, for that matter. Like I said: she’s half Fizzy’s. ”

“Her father’s not in the picture at all? ” River asked quietly.

“Alec, and no. ”

“So he won’t ever—”

“Try to share custody? ” Jess anticipated the end to the question, shaking her head. “No. He signed away his rights before Juno was born. ”

River blew out a surprised breath. “What a dick. ”

She loved that this was his reaction, but she didn’t need it. “I’m glad he did. ”

He smiled up at her, unsure, and she got a tiny glimpse of River from before, the cautious, shy man who hadn’t yet pulled her proverbial pin and made her come undone.

“What? ” she asked, reaching up and drawing a line over the crease in his forehead.

“Has Juno ever met one of your boyfriends? ”

Jess laughed and he shifted her forward, closer. She deflected. “Is that what this is? Boyfriend? ”

“As soon as I said that word, it seemed both a presumption and an underrepresentation. ”

“Because ninety-eight, ” she said, grinning.

He leaned in, kissing her neck. “Because ninety-eight. ”

“The more accurate question, ” she said as he kissed his way around the curve of her jaw, “is whether I’ve had a boyfriend since Juno. ”

River stilled, and then pulled back, looking at her. “Isn’t she seven? ”

“She is. I’ve seen a few people here and there, but no one I would consider a boyfriend. ”

He drew another gently looping shape across her collarbone, humming. “Wow. ”

“Is that weird? ” Jess asked.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure how I would handle it, either, if I had a kid. ”

“Do you date a lot? ”

He brought both hands below the blanket again and laid them on her hips. It made it hard to focus on his words even when he said, “Not a lot. Some. A couple times a month, maybe? I work a hundred hours a week. ”

“Not this week. ”

River grinned. “No, not this week. This week I’ve been unable to stop checking in on my Diamond Match. ”

She kissed him again, deeper. “I’m glad you’re persistent. ”

“One of us has to be. ”

NINETEEN

OKAY, ONE ON each hand. ” She waited until Juno tugged the lobster claw oven mitts all the way on. “It’ll be hot, so be careful. ”

Juno opened the oven door and they both winced from the hot wash of air as it passed over their faces. Jess helped her carefully pull the cookie sheet from the top rack and set it on the stove to cool. The entire apartment smelled like cinnamon and warm oatmeal, Nana’s favorite.

Juno growled like a hungry little creature and inhaled deeply over the pan. “Nana is gonna be so happy. What day does she come home? ”

Using a spatula, they moved each cookie to the cooling rack. “Three days, ” Jess said. “Normally people only stay a few days, but she’s older so they want to make sure she’s up and moving okay before they let her go. ”

Juno pursed her lips in concentration. “So, Sunday? ”

“That’s right. ”

“Maybe Try Something New Sunday can be bringing Nana home from the hospital. We’ve never done that before. ”

“Excellent plan. ”

“We could just have cuddles and movie day here. Nana will probably be tired. ”

“I bet you’re right. I think she’d love that. ”

“So, we can take her cookies tonight; Friday is my sleepover at Naomi’s house. ” She gasped as if just remembering something. “Did I tell you she got a dog? He’s part poodle so he’s very sweet and doesn’t shed. ” She batted her eyelashes up at her mom. “A dog wouldn’t eat our cat. ”

“Child, we are bursting at the seams. Maybe when we have a yard where a dog can run. ” Gently redirecting, she continued, “So Friday is the sleepover …”

Juno huffed out a little sound, but relented. “Yeah, then Saturday maybe I can stay at Naomi’s for a little while? And Nana will be back Sunday. ” A twinge of unease worked up Jess’s spine at the mention of Naomi’s name. When she’d asked, Juno said that they’d had a fight, but it seemed to have been forgotten. She knew kids needed to learn how to resolve conflict on their own, but the mama bear in her never hibernated too deep below the surface.

“You sure you want to do a sleepover? ” Jess asked. “We could go to the movies together. Maybe the zoo? ”

“No, it’s Naomi’s birthday, and I already got her a present. They’re doing a hula night. ”

“You got her a present? ”

“I used my good citizen tickets and got her two slap bracelets and some glitter stickers. ”

Offering a high five, Jess told her, “I have some gift bags in the closet; maybe we can use one of them and put a gift certificate in there, too? ”

With the plan in place, they slid the rest of the cookie dough toward them to load up another sheet just as the doorbell rang. “Let’s get these finished so we can go before visiting hours end, ” Jess said. “Use the spoon to scoop the rest on the pan, and I’ll be right back. Don’t touch the oven. ”

Out in the living room, her heart tripped over itself when she peeked out the window and saw River standing on the other side.

Jess glanced down, groaning. Would it kill her to wear something other than sweats?

He looked up at the sound of the door swinging open and her breath went thin. His smile was somehow both shy and naughty; the muscular curves of his shoulders and chest were visible beneath the fabric of his shirt, and Jess wanted to rip it open like a bag of chips.

“Hey. ” She tried to keep it together.

His voice was a low, secretive burr: “I hope it’s okay that I stopped by. ”

“It’s fine. ” Jess swallowed. “Do you—um, do you want to come in? ”

He stepped inside, hesitating for only a second before bending and carefully putting his mouth on hers. Heat erupted in her veins, and even though it was only a touch and he pulled away before they were busted, Jess knew she looked like she was about to catch fire anyway.

“Hi, ” he said quietly.

“Hi. ”

“You good? ”

She nodded. “Definitely good now. ”

Beaming, he looked past her, and she found herself following every point of his attention, trying to see the apartment through his eyes. It wasn’t tiny, but it wasn’t big, either. She’d splurged on the yellow couch and bright blue chairs, but repainting the kitchen cabinets wasn’t the same as getting new ones, and instead of art covering the walls, she had framed photos and elementary school art projects.

“Your place is great, ” he said, turning in a circle. “It’s so cozy. ”

Jess closed the door with a laugh. “Cozy means small. I think this whole place could fit in your living room. ”

“Yeah, but my house feels like a showroom you walk through to pick out cabinet fixtures. ” He smiled up at a photo of Jess and Juno at the beach. “It’s not a home. ”

“Who’s here? ” Juno shouted from the kitchen, followed by the sound of the step stool scraping over the tiles and her feet padding across the floor. “River Nicolas, are you here to make cookies with us? ”

“Are you kidding, Juno Merriam? ” They executed some complicated knuckle-bump, hand-slap, dance greeting. “I am always here to make cookies. ”

“Wow, what was that? ” Jess asked.

They both ignored her—obviously it was a secret handshake—and Juno beamed up at him. “We’re making them to take to Nana Jo. Do you want to see my room? ”

River grinned. “I would love to see your room. But do you think I could talk to your mom for a second first? ”

“Okay! I’m gonna go get it ready. Also, Mom said we can get a dog! ” She raced out of the living room and down the hall. “I’ll be waiting! ”

“I said when we have a yard, ” Jess shouted after her. She turned back to River, who was biting back a smile. “A warning, her room is a disaster, ” Jess told him confidentially, “so that buys us a few minutes at least. ”

When she looked back at him, he was already staring at her, eyes fixed on her mouth. Tension tightened his shoulders, and he ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe we can talk outside? ”

“Sure. ” Unease sent a cool film over her mood. “Juno, ” she called, “we’ll be in the courtyard. Give us ten minutes. ”

Just outside the apartment, hidden from view, River reached for Jess’s arm and pulled her toward him. His mouth came over hers, and he pressed her against the door, kissing her with a hunger that matched her own. But again he pulled away, clearly conscious of the risk. His bright eyes, when he looked down at her, simmered with that familiar, heated intensity.

And then they fell closed and he bent, releasing a long, frustrated growl against her neck.

Jess laughed out a sympathetic “Yeah, me, too. ”

She pushed her fingers into the back of his hair, relishing the quiet moment. His arms came around her waist, banding all around her until he was pressed so close it was like having another heartbeat. They couldn’t stay this way for long, but Jess closed her eyes and breathed him in. The weird hollow ache in her chest settled.

She was relieved he was so clearly as wrapped up in it as she was. She was anxious to get her hands back on his skin, to feel that connection reverberating along her bones. She felt guilty that she couldn’t just invite him to stay over, but also worried how they would keep the relationship from Juno, or whether that was even the right thing to do. And she was sure these feelings showed plainly on her face when she pulled back and looked at him.

But then she remembered.

River straightened at her gasp, alarmed. “What? ”

“Guess whose kid has a sleepover at Naomi’s tomorrow? ”

“If the answer isn’t you, ” he said, frowning, “then I’m going to admit that I don’t like this game very much. ”

Jess laughed. “You’re right! It’s me! ”

“Does that mean that Juno’s mom also gets a sleepover? ”

“She sure does. ”

He leaned in again, kissing her jaw, her cheek, her—

River’s phone vibrated against her hip.

“Save the vibrations for tomorrow, ” Jess joke-whispered as he pulled it out.

He swallowed a laugh, answering with an easy “Hey, Brandon. ” River paused, listening and shaking his head at her in mock exasperation as she gave him a dorky, Brandon-toothy smile. But then his expression smoothed in shock. “What? Hang on, wait, wait, we’re both here. ” River put it on speaker and held it between them.

“Oh, good! ” Brandon said. “How are you, Jess? ”

She leaned forward. “I’m good. How are you? ”

“I’m fantastic. And as I was just telling River, you two are about to be fantastic, too, because the Today show wants you. ”

Her gaze bolted to River’s, and she mouthed, What?

He shrugged, eyes wide.

“They already filmed footage for a segment on GeneticAlly, ” Brandon continued, “but after hearing about our Diamond Match they changed things up and want you in New York City tomorrow for an interview. Can we make it happen? ”

“Tomorrow? ” Her mind raced. They’d have to take a red-eye and go straight to the studio. She should say yes, because this was literally what they were paying her for, but Nana would come home from the hospital on Sunday, then start at the rehabilitation clinic on Monday. Someone needed to take care of Pops. And Juno would never forgive her mother if she had to miss a sleepover because of schedule complications. “Um—”

River smoothly cut in. “That’s not going to work, ” he said. “If they want it in the next couple days, let’s see if they can shoot our portion of the interview locally. ”

She opened her mouth to tell him it wasn’t necessary, they could figure something out, it was the Today show, for crying out loud—but he firmly shook his head.

“It’s better for us to do it there, ” Brandon insisted.

“No, I get that, ” River said with finality, playfully cupping a hand over Jess’s mouth to keep her from committing to something she shouldn’t out of guilt, “but Jess’s grandmother just had surgery, and she needs to be here. You’re in marketing, Brandon. Sell them on this. ” She stared at him from behind his hand, wanting to kiss him until they both had to come up for air. How did he know exactly what she needed?

There was a pause before Brandon spoke again. “You got it. We’ll figure it out and get back to you. ”

“Thanks, ” River said. “Let us know. ” He ended the call.

The silence stretched between them. “Well, hello, Mr. Decisive Executive. ”

He tilted his head, giving her a flirty eyebrow. “You liked that? ”

“It was so vintage Americano. ” Jess stretched, kissing him.

“Well, ” he said, kissing her one more time before straightening, “I admit that I’d like to stick around town for a selfish reason, too. ”

“Sleepovers and vibrations, am I right? ”

“Yeah. ” He frowned. “But … also because of my sisters. ”

“Oh? ”

“They’re in town from San Francisco. ” He winced. “I may have mentioned that you and I would love to join them for dinner tomorrow night. You can always say no. ”

Elated, Jess looked up at him. “Embarrassing stories? ”

“They have them all. ”

“Dirt on your pre-hot days? ”

He laughed. “You have no idea. I’m sure they’ll bring photos of the time they gave me a haircut before a school dance. It did not look awesome. It was also during the phase where my orthodontist’s word was law, and I wore my headgear around the clock. I’m absolutely certain I’m going to regret this. ”

TODAY SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Natalie Morales [voiceover]: What if someone told you that dating was a thing of the past? That finding your soulmate was just a simple mouth swab away? It might sound too good to be true, but in San Diego, California, a burgeoning biotech company claims it can do just that.

Through a series of personality tests, brain scans, and yes, DNA analysis, GeneticAlly can identify your biological soulmate.

Using a patented algorithm called DNADuo, your DNA will be compared to hundreds of thousands of other individuals in GeneticAlly’s database. Their proprietary software then places your compatibility scores, from zero to one hundred, in a range of categories: Base Match. Silver. Gold. Platinum. Titanium. Three out of four Titanium Matches end up in committed relationships. So, what about the couples who score over that coveted ninety? Only four Diamond Matches have been found to date, and in a startling twist, one of them is a member of the GeneticAlly team. Specifically, the DNADuo inventor and lead scientist, Dr. River Peñ a. Peñ a, a thirty-five-year-old geneticist, started his research in the labs of the Salk Institute.

River Peñ a: I wanted to see if I could find a common genetic factor in couples who described themselves as being in loving, long-term relationships for over two decades.

Natalie: How many couples did you study in that first test?

River: Three hundred.

Natalie: And what did you find?

River: In all of the couples who reported long-term relationship satisfaction, I found a compatibility pattern across two hundred genes.

Natalie voiceover: But Dr. Peñ a and his team didn’t stop there. A study of one thousand test subjects grew to over one hundred thousand, and the initial pattern of two hundred genes is now a patented assay of over thirty-five hundred.

Natalie: So, humans have twenty thousand genes.

River: Between twenty and twenty-five thousand, yes.

Natalie: And your company has now found correlations between thirty-five hundred of those that lead to compatibility? That seems like a lot.

River: It is. But think about it: Everything we become is encoded by our genes. The way we react to stimulus, the way we learn and grow. Thirty-five hundred is likely just the start.

Natalie voiceover: GeneticAlly has plans to go public in May and hopes to have their DNADuo kits in retail and online stores by summer. With online dating revenue this year topping nine hundred million dollars in the U. S. alone, investors are lining up.

River: Compatibility isn’t limited to just romantic relationships. Imagine finding the caretaker who’s most compatible with your children, or a doctor for your parents, the right management team to lead your business.

Natalie voiceover: The sky’s the limit. But back to that Diamond DNADuo score. In January, Jessica Davis, a thirty-year-old statistician, took the DNADuo test kit on a whim.

Jessica: I’d completely forgotten about it until I got the message from GeneticAlly asking me to come in.

Natalie voiceover: Jessica was Client 144326. Her match? Client 000001, Dr. River Peñ a.

Natalie: What was the highest match you’d found up to that point?

River: Ninety-three.

Natalie: And what was your and Jessica’s score?

River: Ninety-eight.

Natalie voiceover: A ninety-eight. That means that of the thirty-five hundred gene pairs that score compatibility, ninety-eight percent of them were found to be ideally compatible.

Natalie: River, as the lead scientist, what was your initial reaction?

River: Disbelief. We did a blood test to confirm.

Natalie: And?

River: Ninety-eight.

Natalie: So, biologically, the two of you are compatible in almost every way? What’s that like?

Jessica: It’s … hard to describe.

Natalie: Is there attraction?

River: [laughs] There’s definitely attraction.

Natalie voiceover: Attraction may be putting it mildly. Off-camera, crew members commented that it felt like there was something palpable between the pair.

Natalie: So, what comes next for you two? Are you dating?

Jessica: Let’s just say … we’re enjoying getting to know each other.

River: [laughs] What she said.

/Cut to hosts/

Savannah Guthrie: Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Natalie: I was just going to say! I’m sweating.

Savannah: GeneticAlly is set to launch widely in May. I have to admit, I think this could change the entire face of the e-dating industry.

Natalie: Without a doubt.

TWENTY

THE DAY HAD been so chaotic that it didn’t occur to Jess to be anxious about dinner with River’s sisters until the two of them were literally walking into the restaurant. But just outside the arched glass doors, her feet became glued to the pavement and she took a few steps away, pressing herself to the side of the building.

“Oh, shit. ” Leaning back, Jess stared up at the sky, incandescent blue in twilight. Today had been fine—better than fine, it went perfectly—so why was she freaking out?

River kept walking, looking back only when he noticed she was no longer next to him. He returned to her. “Everything okay? ”

“I’m meeting your family. ”

He smiled patiently and tucked a hand into the pocket of his perfectly tailored pants. Perfect pants, perfect shirt, perfect face. Perfectly at ease waiting for her panic to subside.

People passed on the sidewalk, and cars inched along Fifth, turning down G Street. “I’ve never done this before, ” Jess confessed. A hot flush crawled up her neck. “Like, met someone’s family. Alec and I were together while we were both at school, and his family was from Florida. I never met them. ”

River’s eyes searched her face, lashes brushing his cheeks with every amused blink. Finally, he crowded into her space, hands on her waist. “I promise this will be much more painful for me than for you. ”

“It’s easy to say that now, when your awkward years are behind you. ” She pointed to her forehead. “Don’t you see my stress pimple? ”

“Nope, sorry, I only see pretty. ” He leaned in, settled his mouth on hers for a sweet kiss. “You three are going to have fun at my expense, and then we’ll go back to my place and maybe actually make it to my bed this time. ”

“Sir, are you bribing me with mind-bending sex? ”

He laughed, his gaze glimmering in the dim light. The longer she stared, the more reassured she was. He communicated so much with those eyes. Reassurance, sure, but also attraction, mirth, and something else—something that looked a lot like adoration.

“I like you a lot, Jessica Marie, ” he said quietly.

A fist wrapped around her heart. “I like you, too. ”

“And if it makes you feel better, ” he said, “I’ve never introduced a girlfriend to my family, either. ” River reached down, threaded their fingers together, and led her inside.

The restaurant was wide open and glaringly loud, pop music pumping out of speakers and the sounds of laughter and conversation throbbing from the walls. With high ceilings and a bar in the center of the room, the decor was eclectic and trendy. Couches and armchairs formed a funky mix of seating configurations, and lights fashioned from glass globes, vases, and mason jars swung from the ceiling by thick, bristly rope. A waifish hostess led them across planked wooden floors to a table situated beneath a giant metal print emblazoned EAT.

Two women sitting side by side glanced up from their cocktails as Jess and River approached. The resemblance was undeniable. One had long dark hair, the ends cut blunt, bangs razor-straight and smooth as gloss under the bright lights. The other was a few years younger, with curly hair that’d been highlighted with a coppery red. Both women shared River’s golden-brown eyes, perfect olive skin, and heart-shaped mouth. The Peñ a family genes were a wonder.

Shouting over each other, they stood, wrapping River in a tight group hug before pulling back to fuss at him simultaneously.

“Your hair is so long! ”

“I’m telling Mom, you’re so skinny. Your pants look like trash bags! ”

Jess followed their attention to his expensive charcoal trousers, ironed to smooth perfection. They … did not look like trash bags, but Jess appreciated the sisterly ribbing anyway. Clearly the entire family could step into and out of the pages of a fashion magazine comfortably.

River managed to extract himself, reaching up to smooth his ruffled hair. He had lipstick on each cheek—which both women tried to smudge away.

“Jess, these are my obnoxious sisters, Natalia and Pilar. Please don’t believe anything they tell you. ”

The older one—Natalia—wrapped Jess in a tight hug. “Holy crap, you are so pretty. ” She turned to her sister. “Isn’t she so pretty? ”

“Way too pretty for him, ” Pilar said, pulling Jess in for a hug of her own.

“It’s nice to meet you. River’s told me so much about you. ”

Natalia glanced warily at her brother. “I’m sure he has. ”

They sat down, ordered cocktails for Jess and River and a few appetizers to share. Jess learned that their mom was a pharmacist, and their dad sold insurance. Natalia was married and a research analyst in Palo Alto; Pilar had recently gone back to school to be a nurse and lived with her girlfriend in Oakland. It was clear they adored their brother. But as River had promised, they loved giving him shit.

“So. ” Natalia rested her chin in her hand. “I hear you two didn’t exactly get along before all this. ”

Jess glanced at River, passing this one off to him. But then questions of her own bubbled to the surface. Did they know about the money? How honest was she supposed to be here?

River eyed Natalia across the table. “My not-so-subtle sister is trying to ask if I was the asshole. ”

They both grinned, and Jess perked up. “Oh, he definitely was. ”

“Hey, ” he said. “I wasn’t that bad. ”

Jess turned in her seat to face him. “You called me ‘entirely average. ’”

Pilar let out a low whistle. “Child, are you blind? ”

“Not to her face! ” he corrected, and turned back to Jess. “And in my defense, the first time you spoke to me, you—”

“Don’t do it, ” Pilar whispered, laughing. “Trust me. ”

“—were wearing an old baggy sweatshirt. ”

They all stared blankly at him. River finally exhaled. “I was the asshole. ”

Pilar lifted her chin. “Jess, can I tell you an important family secret? ”

“If I left here without any, I would be devastated. ”

She laughed. “I get that my brother looks like this now, but that wasn’t always true. Nitpicking other people’s clothing choices would have been the least of his worries. ”

“He said it, ” Jess said, “but I find it hard to believe. ”

Pilar bent, scrolling through her phone, quickly locating what she wanted … almost as if she’d put it there for easy access. Jess stared when Pilar turned the screen to face her. “Stop it. ” She looked at River and then back at the photo. “That isn’t you. ”

A scrawny kid with a bowl haircut and headgear looked out from Pilar’s phone. Searching for any resemblance to her boyfriend, she stared at it long enough for River to laughingly shove the phone away.

“Until he was twenty-one, he had no game to speak of, ” Pilar said.

River laughed. “It’s true. But I managed. ”

“Yeah, you did, ” Natalia said. “I remember in high school there was this football player who was constantly bothering him. Anthony something. River tutored half the class to bring up the curve. Anthony failed and was kicked off the team. ”

“That’s called problem solving, ” River mumbled into his glass.

“He did the same thing when I ran against Nikki Ruthers for student council, ” Pilar said. “He offered group tutoring sessions to everyone who voted for me. I won by a landslide. ”

River thoughtfully selected a piece of prosciutto-wrapped grilled endive from a plate. “Longest summer of my life. ”

“Okay, that’s actually really sweet, ” Jess said, taking his hand under the table and giving it a little squeeze.

“I know it’s hard to imagine with his grumbly exterior, but he was the softest little boy. ” Natalia put her hand on Pilar’s arm. “Do you remember the way he followed Abuela around? ”

Pilar’s face crumpled into a dramatic tender sob. “And watched her stories with her! ”

“Oh man, I did not anticipate this one coming up, ” River said.

“I’m two years older than River, ” Natalia told Jess, “and Pilar is a year older than me, so he was like our baby, too. Our parents both worked full-time, and back then there’s no way they could have afforded summer camp for all three kids, so our summers were spent with Abuela. River was her little helper, and every afternoon they would sit together and watch soap operas. ”

River examined the appetizers like they were data sets.

“Closet soap opera fan? ” Jess said. “We all have a secret identity, but this? It would be easier to believe you were an assassin. ”

“They’re just being dramatic, ” he said, and then laughed at her, murmuring, “Assassin? Really? ”

“Don’t listen to him, Jess, ” Natalia said. “He watched so many of them and got in deep. I thought he’d grow up to be a telenovela star or something, but the whole DNA-love thing makes sense when you think about it. ”

Jess turned to look at him and found him watching her with such tender amusement it was almost like he’d just wrapped his arms around her right at the table.

“The DNA-love thing does make sense when you think about it, ” she agreed quietly.

THEIR HANDS ENTWINED on the drive to his place, both resting on his thigh, and the Audi’s seat warmers made Jess feel like she was melting into a pile of happy goo.

“That was fun, ” she mumbled, full of fantastic food and just past tipsy from all the wine.

“Natalia texted me already that they both adored you and if I mess this up, they’ll neuter me. ”

Jess grimaced. “Please don’t mess it up. You have such a big, beautiful—”

River turned and smirked at her.

“Personality, ” she finished, grinning back. “And being neutered would be kind of a downer. ”

“I’m glad you have such a fondness for my personality, ” he said, turning his attention forward again.

“A soft spot, one might even say, ” she joked.

He looked at her again, playfully scandalized. “How much wine did you have, woman? ”

“The perfect amount. ”

They’d stayed at the restaurant too late, eating and drinking, and laughing harder than Jess had in years. She’d been comfortable with his sisters almost the way she was with Fizzy; the way they spoke over each other and didn’t take themselves too seriously had felt like sitting down to dinner with old friends, rather than people she was meeting for the first time. And right now, contentment flowed, warm and honeyed, through her. Nana Jo was going to be okay; Juno was thriving. Fizzy was falling for someone, and for the first time in her life Jess had money and a sense of security, and a person of her own. She turned and stared at the side of River’s face.

“I like you. ”

“I like you, too. ” He squeezed her hand. “Very, very much. ”

Was this what joy felt like? Safety?

She nodded toward his house as they neared. “Are we gonna get freaky? ”

“Without a doubt. ” He laughed, pulling into his driveway and leaning over to kiss her after he put the car in park.

Inside, River turned on a lamp in the spacious living room, turned another light on in the kitchen, and excused himself to get them each a glass of water. Jess texted Naomi’s mom to check in on her kid, pleasantly surprised to hear that Juno was having the time of her life.

Setting her phone down, she turned around on the couch to watch River as he futzed in the kitchen. “I don’t know what to do with myself, ” she said. “Nobody needs me right now. ”

River came back with two glasses, set them on the side table, and then crawled over her on the couch. His mouth moved from her neck up to her lips. “I do. ”

And then he pulled back and smiled, like maybe he was just teasing, but Jess saw the sincerity in his expression. Her own fondness rose to the surface, the quiet thrumming of infatuation.

She was starting to need him, too.

Her phone was trapped beneath her back, and she reached for it, tossing it to the floor. Tracking it with his eyes, River asked, “How’s Juno doing? ”

“Good. Naomi’s mom says they’re watching a movie out by the pool. ”

“Things are good with her friends, then? ”

Jess lifted a shoulder. “Some days one of them is mean or mad or tired and it creates a little drama tornado that takes a week to get over. I’m learning it’s best if the moms stay out of it. Kids argue. Sometimes it hits our own buttons, and we make it into more than it needs to be. ”

He hummed at this, braced over her on his elbows and playing with the ends of her hair. It was still curled from the interview that morning, and he absently looped a strand around his finger. “I bet it’s hard to not get overprotective sometimes. I felt that way when she talked about it on the drive to ballet, and I’m only just getting to know her. ”

Jess stretched up, kissing him for that. And then she remembered something. “I can’t get over the idea of you being obsessed with soap operas. No wonder you and Fizzy get along. ”

He buried his face in her neck. “I hadn’t thought about that in a long time. Sisters never forget. ”

“When did you go from telenovelas to intense geneticist? ”

“My grandmother died when I was fourteen, ” he said, pushing up to sit and pulling her legs over his lap. “She moved in with us for the last seven or so years of her life, and she was absolutely the happiest aspect of my childhood. My parents didn’t get along great, and without her there as a buffer, that resentment bled into everything. ”

Jess frowned, reaching forward to pull one of his hands into hers.

“Also, they’re not very … warm people by nature, so it got really quiet when Abuela died. Dad was never a fan of me sitting with her, watching the shows. He didn’t get it—and when I tried to watch them after she died, sort of as a way to stay connected to her, he was not having it. He wanted me to get my head out of the clouds and think about a future that could support a family. ”

“My mother, Jamie, is the same, sort of. ” Jess smiled sardonically. “But her version was to always remind me what men want and look for. Suggesting my time was better spent finding a way to be taken care of, rather than learning how to do shit on my own. ”

It was his turn to frown sympathetically. “I’d always been good in school, ” he said, “so I just … got better. Science came naturally to me. ”

“Had it occurred to you before Natalia said it tonight that what you’re doing now is—in a roundabout way—sort of connected to all that? I bet your abuela would love it. ”

“It didn’t, but I think it’s true. Think about how many love stories we’ll build. ”

Jess tilted her head and stared at him. She couldn’t believe she got to be naked with this man.

He did a self-conscious double take. “What? ”

“You’re really hot, you know that? ” Jess said. “And sort of wonderful. I think I’m even more into you now than I was earlier today. ”

The corner of his mouth turned up. “How is that possible? I thought I had you on lock already. ”

Jess stretched out on the couch, grinning up at him and slowly peeling her shirt off. “Didn’t someone say something about getting freaky in here? ”

TWENTY-ONE

JESS AND JUNO were about a block away from school one morning when Juno stopped and asked, “Now is River Nicolas your boyfriend? ”

“What made you think of that on the way to school? ” Jess deflected.

“Just wondering if you’re going to see him this morning. ”

She carefully considered this statement; her kid was fishing. “I’ll probably see him at Twiggs later. ”

“Oh. ” Juno slanted her eyes up to her. “I thought I saw his stuff at home. ”

Jess’s neck heated, her mind starting to race. The last week, River had come over every morning for an hour or so after school drop-off and before they both started work for the day—it was their only time totally alone—but Jess’d had no idea that he’d been leaving evidence behind. She guessed in the haze of sex on the floor, on the bed, in the shower, bent over the dresser, and once on the kitchen island, even a hyperorganized scientist was prone to forget something.

“Huh, ” she said, stalling.

“Yesterday, ” Juno said casually, her eyes straight ahead, “he left some shorts. ”

“Oh. ” Jess scrambled to come up with a suitable explanation, but the image of River suffering his way through a workday without underwear made her cough out a tiny laugh. “He probably used our place to change after, um, going for a run? ”

Juno nodded at this and kicked a stick into the street. “Yeah, probably. ”

They stopped at the border of school property, and Jess turned to face her daughter, needing to see her eyes when she asked, “How would you feel about it if we were dating each other? ”

“I would like it, ” Juno said absently, and her eyes veered to the side as she started scanning the playground for her friends.

Jess guided her chin so Juno was looking at her again. “Are you sure? Because it means sometimes he’ll be with us, doing things. ”

Her daughter’s eyes glazed over. “I know. ”

“But you are still the most important thing in the world to me. ”

Juno’s attention started to drift to the side again. “I know. ”

God, it was not the time or the place to be having this conversation.

“Juno, ” Jess said with gentle authority. “Look at me. ”

Her eyes cleared. “What? ”

“It’s important to me that you hear this, ” Jess said. “You asked about River, so I want to say this now. You are my family. It’s you and me, and nobody can change that, do you understand? ”

Juno nodded. “I know, Mama. I like River. And I know you love me. ”

From a few yards away, Naomi and Krista called out Juno’s name. She tensed in excitement, bouncing on her feet, but obediently kept her gaze on her mother, waiting for the release of the goodbye kiss.

Jess pressed it to her forehead. “I do love you, Juno Merriam. ”

“I love you, too, Jessica Nicolas! ” With a delighted giggle, she tore off toward her friends.

RIVER’S HAIR WAS a tangled mess from Jess’s fingers as he kissed his way back up her body, and his expression quickly turned cocky at the view of her rag doll prostration on the bed.

“That was inspired, ” she mumbled.

He kissed her once, breathless and smiling, and then fell to the side in his own exhausted puddle. “Good. ”

Jess rolled over, half sprawling across his chest, and grinned up at him. “How was going commando at work yesterday? ”

Letting out a laugh-groan, he reached with his free arm and wiped a hand down his face. “You’d think I would notice the lack of boxers sometime before leaving for work. ”

“Sex drunk. ”

Humming, he smiled into a kiss, and then went completely still as realization dawned. “Shit. We had sex in the kitchen yesterday. ” He squinted apologetically down at her. “Juno found them, didn’t she? ”

Jess waved this off. “She thought they were shorts. ”

He winced, face grim. “I’m sorry, Jess. ”

“No, it’s good. ” She rested her chin on her fist, gazing up at him. “I did tell her we’re together, though. I hope that’s okay. ”

River bit back a smile. “Of course it is. ”

“Honestly, I’m amazed her friends at school didn’t ask about the U-T article. Or the Today show, for that matter. ”

“Was she okay with us? ”

She stretched to kiss him, because that was the perfect first question. “I think she’s thrilled, River Nicolas. ” Returning to her perch on his chest, she added, “I don’t want her to worry that things are going to change too fast. ”

He dragged long, lazy fingers through her hair and gazed unfocused at her face.

“I’d ask you what you’re thinking, ” she said, “but I bet the answer is, like, RNA editing or restriction enzymes. ”

“Actually, wiseass, I was thinking how beautiful you are. ”

An important circuit shorted out in her brain; she had no idea how to respond articulately while elation simmered in her veins. “Oh. So … not RNA editing. ”

River smiled, curling to kiss her. “No. ” He settled back on the pillow. “I was thinking how happy I am. ”

Her blood cells stood up, gave a roaring standing ovation. “Just like your fancy machine predicted. ”

“I haven’t felt this way before, ” he said, ignoring her joking. “Is it too soon to say that? ”

Jess grew short of breath. “Of course not. ”

“I haven’t been home in years, but I feel that way with you. ”

She bent and pressed her face to his chest, squeezing her eyes closed and trying not to hyperventilate.

“You okay? ”

“Just trying not to freak out, ” she said, and quickly added, “Good freak out. Deeply infatuated freak out. ”

“That’s a good freak ou— Oh. ” When she looked up in response to his tone, an uneasy smile spread across his mouth and he pushed back into the pillow to be able to see her better. “I meant to tell you this as soon as I got here, but—”

“But I was waiting for you naked? ” she interrupted with a grin.

“Yes, exactly. ” He laughed. “We have people coming into the offices on Monday. ”

“… Okay? ”

He gazed at her, and then laughed at her misunderstanding. “We have People magazine coming into the offices on Monday. They’re meeting with us in the morning, I guess, ” he said, gesturing to include her, “and then David, Brandon, Lisa, and I will have an interview in the afternoon. So, unless you and Fizzy are going to remove every copy in the grocery store, it’s probably good Juno found out today. ”

AFTER A TRY Something New Sunday—River joined all four Davises at the zoo, and holding his hand in public was the novelty—Monday came along, and she didn’t even wake up in a panic. She was getting used to all these high-pressure situations—interviews, parties, photo sessions—though no doubt it helped that her relationship with River felt like a cornet-blaring, red-carpet-unfurling, fireworks-over-theocean, first of its kind in all of history.

It helped, too, that he slept in her bed Sunday night. In life, River was restrained and cautious. As a lover, he was expressive and generous. And in sleep, he was a cuddler: pressed up against her all night, her long, big spoon.

At six, his alarm went off and he jerked awake like he’d been hoisted by strings, sleepily tugging on clothes—double-checking that he had on all of his clothes—kissing her, and silently sneaking out before Juno was awake.

Half an hour later, he was at their door “surprising” Jess and Juno with coffee and hot chocolate.

Juno shuffled out of her bedroom, and the three of them sat down at the dining table for breakfast. River pulled out some papers to review; his foot came over Jess’s, reminding her that not even an hour ago he was beside her, in her bed. She tried not to let the thought unspool, imagining the three of them sitting there in easy silence every morning for the rest of their lives.

Juno poked sleepily at her cereal. “Why did you leave so early to get coffee? Mama has a coffee machine in the kitchen. ”

River and Jess went completely still. Finally, he managed a deeply unconvincing “Huh, does she? ”

They followed the path of Juno’s pointed finger to the counter, and River let out a murmured “Oh, I didn’t know that. Thank you. ”

He looked at Jess over the top of Juno’s head and winced for help. Jess had to bite her lips to keep from losing it.

They walked Juno to school together, bracketing her, each holding one of her hands. She crab-walked; they swung her. “You need to be taller, Mom, ” Juno said. “River Nicolas can swing me way higher. ”

He looked over at her, gloating.

And all of it felt like the tip-top of the roller coaster, the feeling of anticipation before the thrill of the drop.

So obviously, Jess was terrified.

WHICH WAS OKAY, because there was plenty to distract her from those enormous, scary feelings. When they arrived at the GeneticAlly offices—the parking lot more crowded than Jess had ever seen it—everything exploded into motion and excitement. Lisa greeted them at the curb, firing information off about the schedule as soon as they climbed out of the car. Jess and River were up first for two hours, then the reporter, Aneesha, would take River to meet with David, Lisa, and Brandon over near the Salk. Before she’d even had a chance to put her purse down, Jess was being ushered into Lisa’s office, where a makeup artist and hairstylist got right to work.

“You look like you’ve been carried here upside down, ” Aneesha said, laughing. She was a gorgeous Black woman with glowing skin and the most perfect crab-apple cheekbones Jess had seen in her entire life. “Totally shell-shocked. ”

Jess laughed as the makeup artist worked around her. “I am not—to put it mildly—accustomed to this treatment. ”

Over the next twenty minutes, Jess learned that Aneesha Sampson had interviewed Brad Pitt last weekend, had an irrepressible laugh, called River “Keanu Banderas, ” and embraced both plunging necklines and shoulder-grazing dangly earrings in her personal style. Jess didn’t know if she wanted to propose or propose a life swap.

“We’re going to start in the lab, if that works for you, ” Aneesha said as they all stepped out into the hall. “Just River at first. ”

Lisa looked a little harried. “Jess, are you okay just hanging out? ”

Jess held up her laptop. “I have a ton of work to do. You can put me anywhere. ”

As Aneesha headed toward the elevator and Lisa bent to reply to a text on her phone, River leaned in, kissing Jess. “Okay. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you. ”

White noise roared in her ears and her eyes went wide. “What? ”

River stared down at her, his expression slack with shock. But he didn’t take it back. He just … started laughing. He nodded sideways to Lisa, saying quietly, “Not the place I’d planned to say it, but hallways and audiences do seem to be our thing. ”

Lisa turned to take a call, and Jess broke into a grin, throwing her arms around his neck. She planted a dozen tiny kisses all over his face. “I love you, too. ”

The truth of it was so obvious; Jess didn’t know how they hadn’t been saying I love you from that very first day.

With his smile straightening and a bright heat flashing like lightning in his eyes, he moved his lips to her cheek, and over to her ear. “I’ll see you in a few. ”

“River, they’re ready for you. ” Lisa waved him down the hall.

With one final peck, he disappeared into the elevator and Lisa returned. “Jess, I’d put you in River’s office, but they’re setting up for some stills. ” Hooking her thumb to the office directly behind her, Lisa said, “Let’s just put you in David’s for now. He won’t mind. ”

Jess lifted her laptop. “I’m cool anywhere. ”

Lisa tried the door, then pulled out her keys and unlocked it, immediately wincing as she turned back to Jess. “This okay? I forgot how messy he is. I never go in here. ”

And … wow. David’s office was the upside-down version of River’s. Where River’s desk was bare but for his computer, David’s had the look of a desk found in the rubble post-hurricane. It was covered with printed-out data sheets, empty paper cups, wadded-up napkins, Post-its, and stacks of journal articles. His shelves were lined with a dusty and disorganized array of convention freebies: a Merck-branded stress ball, a Sanofi travel mug, a plastic DNA molecule from Genentech, a pile of branded pens.

But listen. River Nicolas Peñ a had just told her he loved her. Lisa could drop Jess off on Bourbon Street early on a Saturday morning and she’d be fine. “This is great. ”

“We’ll come grab you when Aneesha is ready. ” Lisa grinned before ducking out, closing the door behind her.

Staring at David’s desk, Jess wondered whether she should use her laptop on her actual lap, before figuring she could just carefully set it on top and not disturb the mayhem. While her computer booted up, Jess glanced around the sciencey detritus. Among the papers were sheets and sheets filled with hundreds of rows of data. An electrical current passed over her. Maybe that was a thread of why she and River were a Diamond Match—they were both deeply enthralled by numbers.

About halfway down a messy pile of papers, a corner of one stuck out. Jess’s eye caught on something written in the top left corner, and she carefully pulled free the thick binder-clipped cluster.

Client 144326.

Her blood turned carbonated as she registered what she was seeing. That was her. Jess’s data. And beneath her number was another: Client 000001.

River.

Below, in bold, was the information they’d heard a thousand times in the past month: Compatibility quotient: 98.

She’d never seen their raw scores before, but there was something oddly holy about holding the data in her hands.

Okay. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you. His words echoed in her mind.

Smiling, Jess scanned the rows and rows of numbers reverently. The client numbers and compatibility score were in the top left corner, and in the top right was the assay information: date, time, which DNADuo machine had run the assay, et cetera. Below that were about sixty rows of numbers, broken into three groups of columns, each three columns wide. Behind this sheet, there were pages and pages of solid numbers.

Jess got chills realizing she was currently holding the information on the roughly 3, 500 genes for which she and River aligned. Was it really possible that their connection—their love—was encoded in their cells? Was she programmed from the day she was born to feel this happy—even when Jamie was leaving her over and over, when girls teased her on the soccer field for her drunk mother on the sidelines, when Alec stared mutely at the pregnancy test for a handful of minutes and finally said, “I’ve never wanted kids”? Of all the men Jess could connect with, was River her perfect fit all along?

The idea made her both queasy and high. She looked back down, leaning in to focus on each tiny row of information. The first two columns on each set showed what she assumed was the gene information—gene names and GenBank session number. The third columns held raw compatibility scores, with numbers that seemed to range from zero to four. Nearly all of their scores were higher than 2. 5. So, somehow these scores came together in the neural network’s algorithm, and ninety-eight popped out at the end. Clearly, Jess could see now, the data was scientific, but it also felt deeply magical. She was a convert. Show her to the GeneticAltar.

She dragged a finger across the page, wanting to feel the information for herself.

Their most recent assay had been completed on January 30—River’d drawn her blood the night before with such careful formality. They’d been so awkward around each other, so wary. Jess bit back a laugh remembering. Holy shit, she’d had no idea: he’d wanted her even then.

Looking up to confirm David’s office door was closed, she quickly took a picture. She knew she shouldn’t; it might have even been illegal—besides, she could just ask River for a copy of it anyway. But Jess knew she’d want to look at it again and again. Flipping through, she began snapping photos of every page, rows upon rows upon rows of data. Each one had a few values circled, annotated, called out—she guessed—for being totally fucking awesome.

Maybe she’d frame this for him as a gift at some point.

Maybe they’d each pick their favorite gene and get that value tattooed.

Maybe she was starting to sound like one of Fizzy’s heroines right now and should probably shut the hell up.

Grinning like an idiot, Jess flipped to the next page, ready to snap a picture, but stopped. This next set of data was from their first DNADuo assay, the one from her spit kit. In this stack, some cells were circled in pencil and some notes were scribbled in the margins, barely legible. Jess marveled that their data had been pored over like this. Her soaring-soundtrack brain sang that their data might even unlock larger truths about love and emotional connection.

And there was still more. Jess flipped more pages, expecting notes and correspondence, but she found another first page. A duplicate? No. It was a different first page—someone else’s—from an assay run in 2014.

Client 05954

Client 05955

Compatibility quotient: 93

This must be David’s Diamond Match pile, Jess assumed. But her brain tripped over a coincidence in the upper right corner. She flipped between this one and her and River’s top sheet, comparing.

The assay dates were different in all three cases, but the assay end time was exactly the same.

Every time.

Jess blinked, tilting gently toward uneasy, flipping back to their first pages to confirm. Yes: for all three assays, the run time ended at 15: 45: 23.

Her stomach tightened. Statistically, that was … deeply unlikely. Out of 86, 400 seconds in each twenty-four hours, there was only a 0. 0012 percent chance of two events landing on the same second. Even if Jess assumed the assays were usually started and finished at roughly the same time—say within the same four-hour window—that was still only a likelihood of 0. 007 percent, or a 7 out of 100, 000 chance, that Jess and River’s assay and another assay completed on a different day would have finished at the exact same time. But all three? It was nearly impossible. The chances—Jess closed her eyes to do the math—of three assays randomly ending at the same exact second on different days were roughly 1 in 2. 5 million.

Jess tried to think logically. She pushed back the roaring in her ears. Maybe the machines were programmed to begin and end at the same time to reduce certain variables? It wouldn’t be unheard of.

Except on January 29, River had started the assay almost immediately after taking her blood. In fact, he’d double-gloved and rolled up to the fume hood before she’d even left the room. The following morning, he’d texted her, asking for a date, and said the test had been confirmed. But although the date on the printout was right, how was it possible River had the data in the morning if the assay wasn’t complete until 3: 45 that afternoon? Did he lie to her that he’d gotten the confirmation? That didn’t sound like River.

“What the fuck? ” Jess exhaled the words, confused. I have … I have to be missing something.

Her lungs hurt. Her stomach rolled. Her eyes burned from the strain of her intense focus. She couldn’t blink. And then—her heart seemed to fill with needles—Jess noticed that all three assays were run on the DNADuo 2. She remembered seeing the two machines the night he ran the blood samples and asking about them.

“Are those the DNADuos? ”

“Creatively named DNADuo One and DNADuo Two. DNADuo Two is down right now. Getting serviced next week. It’ll be up and running by May, I hope. ”

A thought crashed into her head. She was frantic now. Flipping through the respective pages on the two data sets, she scanned down the columns on the two pieces of paper. She tried to find differences in the data sets between her and River’s ninety-eight, and this other couple’s ninety-three.

She couldn’t; they were identical. Every value—as far as she could tell—was exactly the same. It all went blurry the harder she stared. It was too many rows. Too many tiny numbers. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack while her hair and the haystack were both on fire. And, she thought desperately, for scores this high, maybe most of the raw scores would be identical? What was she missing?

With dread sinking in her chest, Jess registered that the circled numbers on their first data sheet were circled for a reason. Her gaze slid to a penciled oval on the original spreadsheet from January 19.

Jess brought a shaking hand to her mouth. On her and River’s sheet, she saw:

OT-R GeneID 5021 3. 5

But on the other couple’s:

OT-R GeneID 5021 1. 2

Inside another circle on their original sheet—for the gene PDE4D—Jess and River had a 2. 8. Her heart vaulted into her throat. The other couple had a 1. 1.

Jess only had the stomach to confirm two more circled values—an AVP of 3. 1 on hers and River’s, a 2. 1 on the other couple’s; for DRD4, a 2. 9 on theirs, a 1. 3 on the other couple’s.

As far as Jess could see, the only values that were different—maybe only thirty in the entire data set of nearly 3, 500—were the ones that had been circled in their first DNADuo. To draw attention to them. If it weren’t for the identical time stamp and the DNADuo 2 mystery, Jess could have told herself a lie, that those values were circled because they differentiated her and River from the other assay. But she knew they weren’t circled because they were special. They were circled to keep track of which ones had been altered. Someone had, on purpose, changed a compatibility score of ninety-three into a ninety-eight.

Johan and Dotty were our very first Diamond Match, River had said at the cocktail party. Their granddaughter brought them to us back in 2014, and she was right: they came through with a score of ninety-three.

She might throw up. With shaking hands, Jess took a picture of every page of the assay she was almost certain belonged to Johan and Dotty Fuchs. She nearly knocked over the pile twice. She was numb as she bent and stowed her laptop. She put her phone away. And then she sat quietly. Waiting for Aneesha to come for her, Jess had no idea how she was going to get through the interview, knowing what she knew now.

River and Jess had never been a Diamond Match.

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