Chapter Twenty-four

One night back in 1986, Susan came within an eyelash of being introduced to John Johnson at a party Larry Mortimer had thrown. Larry was eager to showcase Susan and to network her with as many people as possible. Meet the Blooms was riding high, and of the eighties crop of " It Girls, " Susan was the one most coveted by the networks.

For some reason there was a giraffe at the party. Susan heard somebody ask why, and someone else replied it was to help plug a disastrously overbudget chimp comedy that had tanked that weekend on 1, 420 screens across North America. Susan was standing with people from Johnny Carson's production company. It was then that she noticed John speaking with that toilet-mouthed lady from Disney—Alice? —something about an Oxford don and a punt—and Susan deemed John date-worthy, and that he would be even more so once he had a few years to... ripen. She was going to ask Larry for an introduction when a woman on her right said, " Hello, Susan Colgate. "

Susan turned to the speaker who was, according to the framed photos on Larry's desk, Larry's wife, Jenna Mortimer, lovely, with hair like spun black glass, baby-doll features, dressed in a black chiffon evening dress that featured the linebacker

2O3 shoulder pads of the era. This look, combined with a flash of teeth, created an aggressive posture.

" Hello—Jenna—Mrs. Mortimer. Hello. "

" It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Susan. "

" Oh—nice for me, too. How did we ever get this far without being introduced? Shouldn't Larry have done this, like, an hour ago at the very least? "

" Cuckoo, isn't it? " said Jenna. " Larry can be so forgetful. Such a business this is. "

" Larry's always talking about you. "

" I'm sure he is. " She motioned toward a buffet table. " Have you had something to eat? " She was making it clear that she was the hostess. Susan was overeager to sound like an appreciative guest and she blurted out a dumb lie: " Yes, I had some cheese. "

" But I'm not serving any cheese. "

Susan was flustered.

" Is your mother here? " asked Jenna, knowing full well that Susan lived on Larry's Kelton Street property. The truth was that at that exact moment Marilyn was scouring the streets of Encino hoping to find Don's car, hoping to find Don inside a bar with a slut, knowing there was a far greater likelihood of simply finding Don with a bottle, which was somehow worse.

" No. It's a lovely party. Really beautifully done. " Susan felt mature using the words " beautifully done. " It was the way she thought rich people spoke.

Jenna looked around. " It is, isn't it? "

" And the giraffe! "

" The giraffe just ate the neighbor's prize Empress Keiko persimmon tree. There'll be hell to pay tomorrow. " She looked at Susan appraisingly. " Clear shoes and nude hose—trying to lengthen our legs tonight? "

" An old show dog trick. Miss USA Teen, 1985. "

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