No, said the man cooly (холодно), Don't drink (не пью). Tried it once and I didn't like it (попрoбовал раз и не понравилось). 8 страница

"Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked! (на самом деле сработала)"

"That's all fine (это все хорошо)," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday? (но где ты был вчера)"

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

"Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"

That's fine.

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money (молодой человек спросил старого богатого человека, как тот сделал свои деньги).

The old guy (парень) fingered his worsted wool vest (дотронулся до своего жилета из камвольной ткани) and said (и сказал), "Well, son, it was 1932 (ну, сынок, это был 1932). The depth of the Great Depression (разгар Великой Депрессии; depth – глубина). I was down to my last nickel (я опустился, докатился до последнего пятицентовика).

I invested that nickel in an apple (я вложил этот пятицентовик в яблоко). I spent the entire day (я провел целый день /to spend-spent-spent – проводить (время)/) polishing the apple (полируя это яблоко) and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents (и в конце дня я продал яблоко за десять центов /to sell-sold-sold/).

The next morning (на следующее утро), I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm (в пять вечера) for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month (я продолжал в том же духе, придерживался этой системы около месяца), by the end of which (к концу которого) I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37 (я скопил богатство размером в $1.37)."

"And that's how you built an empire? (и так вы создали империю /to build-built-built – сооружать, строить/)" the boy asked.

"Heavens, no! (Что ты: «Небеса!»)" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars (потом умер отец моей жены и оставил нам 2 миллиона долларов /to leave-left-left/)."

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.

"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Heavens!

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes (полицейский допрашивал трех блондинок) who were training to become detectives (которые проходили подготовку, чтобы стать детективами). To test their skills (чтобы проверить их умение) in recognizing a suspect (в узнавании подозреваемого), he shows (он показывает) the first blonde a picture (фотографию) for 5 second (на 5 секунд) and then hides it (и затем прячет ее).
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? (это твой подозреваемый, как бы ты его узнала)"
The first blonde answers (отвечает), "That's easy (это легко), we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye! (мы его поймаем быстро, потому что у него только один глаз)"
The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his PROFILE (ну… а… это потому что фотография показывает только его профиль)."
Slightly flustered (несколько обалдевший; to fluster – конфузить, сбивать с толку, нервировать) by this ridiculous response (от этого нелепого ответа), he flashes (показывает на одно мгновение; flash – вспышка; to flash – сверкнуть; мелькнуть; показать на мгновение) the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles (хихикает), flips her hair (встряхивает волосами) and says, "Ha! He'd be (его было бы) too easy (совсем: «слишком» просто) to catch (поймать) because he only has one ear! (ухо)"
The policeman angrily responds (злобно отвечает), "What's the matter with you two?? (что это с вами двумя) Of course (конечно) only one eye and one ear are SHOWING (видны) because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with? (это лучший ответ, который вы способны дать)"
Extremely frustrated at this point (чрезвычайно = уже совсем расстроенный к этому моменту), he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice (очень раздраженным голосом) asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
He quickly adds (быстро добавляет), "...think hard (как следует: «крепко» подумай) before giving me a stupid answer (перед "даванием" мне глупого ответа, перед тем, как дашь глупый ответ)."
The blonde looks (глядит) at the picture intently (пристально) for a moment and says, "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses (подозреваемый носит контактные линзы)."
The policeman is surprised (удивленный) and speechless (онемевший: «лишившийся речи»; speech – речь) because he doesn't know himself (он сам не знал) if the suspect wears contacts or not (носит подозреваемый линзы или нет).

"Well, that's an interesting (интересный) answer... wait here for a few minutes (подождите здесь несколько минут) while I check his file (пока я проверю его досье) and I'll get back to you on that (и вернусь к вам с этим вопросом)."
He leaves the room (он выходит из комнаты) and goes to his office (и идет в свой офис), checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face (и возвращается с лучезарной улыбкой на лице; beam – луч; to beam – излучать; сиять). "Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE! (я не могу в это поверить, это правда) The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses (действительно носит контактные линзы). Good work! (отличная работа) How were you able to make such an astute observation? (как вы смогли сделать столь проницательное наблюдение)"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses (он не может носить обычные очки) because he only has one eye and one ear (потому что у него только один глаз и одно ухо)."

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds, "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer... wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

What's the matter with you?

Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Wow! I can't believe it...

Good work!

A man was in a bar (человек был в баре). Hoping to strike up a conversation (надеясь завязать разговор) with a distinguished looking fellow (с важно, изысканно выглядящим человеком) sitting nearby (сидящим рядом), he said, "May I buy you a drink? (могу я купить вам выпивку = угостить вас)"

"No," said the man cooly (холодно), "Don't drink (не пью). Tried it once and I didn't like it (попрoбовал раз и не понравилось)."

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